by Claudia Gray
But when I had those fantasies now, the same image always bubbled up: my teeth sinking into Lucas’s throat.
There were times I thought I would do anything to taste Lucas’s blood again. That was when I was the most frightened.
“What do you think?” I modeled the old-fashioned velvet hat for Lucas, thinking that he would laugh; surely the deep purple of the fabric looked bizarre next to my red hair.
Instead he smiled at me in a way that made me feel warm all over. “You’re beautiful.”
We were in a secondhand clothing shop in Riverton, enjoying our second weekend in town together much more than the first. My parents had taken chaperone duty at the theater again, so we’d decided to skip our chance to see The Maltese Falcon. Instead we ran in and out of the shops that were still open, looking at posters and books, and dealing with some eye rolling from the clerks behind the counter, who were clearly sick of teenagers from “that school” running amuck. Too bad for them, because we were having a great time.
I took a white fur stole from a shelf and draped it around my shoulders. “What do you think?”
“Fur is dead.” Lucas said it sort of wryly, but maybe he didn’t think people should wear fur at all. I personally felt like vintage things ought to be okay; the animals had died decades and decades ago, so it wasn’t like you were doing any more harm. All the same, I hastily took the stole off.
Lucas, meanwhile, tried on a gray tweed overcoat he’d dug out of an overstuffed rack in the back. Like the rest of the shop, it smelled sort of musty, but in a good way, and the coat looked amazing on him. “That’s sort of Sherlock Holmesy,” I said. “If Sherlock Holmes were sexy.”
He laughed. “Some girls go for the intellectual type, you know.”
“Aren’t you lucky I’m not one of them?”
Fortunately, he liked it when I teased him. He grabbed me, arms around my arms so that I couldn’t even hug him back, and kissed me soundly on the forehead. “You’re impossible,” he murmured. “But you’re worth it.”
The way he held me, my face was buried in the curve of his neck; all I could see were the faint pink lines on his throat, the scars of my own bite. “I’m glad you think so.”
“I know so.”
I wasn’t going to argue with him. There was no reason my one terrible mistake couldn’t remain just that—one mistake, never to be repeated.
Lucas’s finger brushed along my cheek, a gentle touch like the soft tip of a paintbrush. Klimt’s Kiss flickered in my mind, gold and gauzy, and for a moment it was as though Lucas and I really had been drawn into the painting with all its beauty and its need. Hidden behind the racks as we were, lost in a maze of old, cracked leather and wrinkled satin and rhinestone buckles dulled with time, Lucas and I could’ve kissed for hours without being found. I imagined it for a moment—Lucas placing a black fur coat on the floor, laying me atop it, lowering himself over me—
I pressed my lips against his neck, right on the scars, the way my mother used to kiss a bruise or scrape to make it better. His pulse was strong. Lucas tensed, and I thought maybe I’d gone too far.
It can’t be easy for him either, I told myself. Sometimes I think I’m going to go crazy if I don’t touch him, so how much worse must it be for Lucas? Especially since he can’t know the reasons why.
The jingling of bells jolted us out of our trance. We both peeked around the corner to see who had come in. “Vic!” Lucas shook his head. “I should’ve known you’d show up here.”
Vic sauntered toward us, thumbs beneath the lapels of the striped blazer he wore beneath his winter coat. “This style doesn’t put itself together, you know. It takes effort to look this good.” He then groaned as he looked longingly at Lucas’s tweed overcoat. “You tall guys get all the best stuff, man.”
“I’m not buying this.” Lucas shrugged it off, ready to leave. Probably he wanted to give us a few more moments of privacy; it was almost time to return to the bus. I knew how he felt. As much as I liked Vic, I didn’t really want him tagging around.
“You’re crazy, Lucas. Something like that fit me? I’d snap it up.” Vic sighed. He looked dangerously close to accompanying us out to the bus.
I thought fast. “You know, in the back of the store, I think I saw some ties painted with hula girls.”
“Seriously?” Just like that, Vic was gone, pushing his way through the clothes display in search of hula ties.
“Good work.” Lucas pulled the hat from my head, then took my hand. “Let’s go.”
We were almost to the door when we walked past the jewelry rack, and a dark, glittering object caught my eye. A brooch, carved of something that was as black as the night sky but shone brilliantly: I realized that it was a pair of flowers, exotic and sharp petaled, just like the one in my dream. The brooch was small enough to fit in my palm and intricately carved, but what amazed me the most was how much it looked like a flower that I had started to think only existed in my imagination. I had stopped in my tracks to stare at it. “Look, Lucas. It’s so beautiful.”
“That’s genuine Whitby jet. Victorian-era mourning jewelry.” The saleslady peered at us over the lenses of her blue-rimmed reading glasses, trying to evaluate whether we were potential customers or kids who needed to be scared off. Probably she decided on the latter, because she added, “Very expensive.”
Lucas didn’t like being challenged. “How expensive?” he said coolly, like his last name was Rockefeller instead of Ross.
“Two hundred dollars.”
My eyes probably bugged out. When your parents are schoolteachers, you don’t get the biggest allowance in the world. The only thing I’d ever bought that cost more than two hundred dollars was my telescope, and my parents had chipped in for that. I laughed a little, trying to disguise my embarrassment and the sadness I felt at having to leave the brooch behind. Each black petal was more beautiful than the last.
Lucas simply pulled out his wallet and offered the clerk a credit card. “We’ll take it.”
She raised an eyebrow but took the card and started ringing up the purchase. “Lucas!” I grabbed his arm and tried to speak under my breath. “You can’t.”
“Can, too.”
“But it’s two hundred dollars!”
“You love it,” he said quietly. “I can tell by the look in your eyes. If you love it, you should have it.”
The brooch still sat in the display case. I stared down at it, trying to imagine anything so beautiful belonging to me. “I do—love it, I mean, but—Lucas, I don’t want you in debt because of me.”
“Since when do poor people attend Evernight?”
Okay, he had a point there. For some reason, I’d never really thought about the fact that Lucas must be wealthy. Vic, too, probably. Raquel was a scholarship kid, but there were only a handful of those. Most of the human students were actually paying through the nose for the chance to be surrounded by vampires—though, of course, they didn’t realize that last part. They didn’t come across like snobs, probably because they didn’t have a chance. The ones who really acted like entitled rich kids were the ones who’d been saving money for centuries or who bought IBM stock back when the typewriter was a newfangled invention. The hierarchy at Evernight was so strict—vampires on top, humans hardly worthy of notice—that I hadn’t realized that most of the human kids came from money, too.
Then I remembered that Lucas had tried to tell me once about his mother and how controlling she could be. They’d traveled all around, even lived in Europe, and he’d said that his grandfather or great-grandfather or somebody had attended Evernight as well, at least until he got expelled for dueling. I should’ve realized he wasn’t poor.
Not that this was a bad surprise. In my opinion, all boyfriends should turn out to be secretly wealthy. But it reminded me that, as much as I adored Lucas, we were still only beginning to learn about each other.
And that made me remember the secrets I kept.
The saleslady offered to wrap up the brooch,
but Lucas took it and pinned it on my winter coat. I kept tracing the sharp-carved petals with one finger as we walked out into the town square, hand in hand. “Thank you. This is the best gift anyone’s ever bought for me.”
“Then it’s the best money I ever spent.”
I ducked my head, bashful and happy. We would’ve gone on being mushy for a while if we hadn’t walked into the town square and found the students milling around the bus, talking animatedly with each other with absolutely no teachers around. “Why is everybody standing around like that? How come they aren’t boarding the bus yet?”
Lucas blinked, obviously thrown off by the sudden change in subject. “Uh, I don’t know.” Then, more focused, he continued, “You’re right. They should’ve started calling us by now.”
We walked down into the crowd of students. “What’s going on?” I asked Rodney, a guy I knew from chemistry.
“It’s Raquel. She’s taken off.”
That couldn’t be right. I insisted, “She wouldn’t leave by herself. She gets scared easily.”
“Really? She always seemed kinda standoffish to me.” Vic joined us in the crowd, holding a clear plastic bag stuffed with garish ties. Then Rodney paused, like he realized it might not be good manners to speak badly about the missing person. “I saw her earlier at the diner. Some townie kid was trying to talk to her and striking out. I didn’t run into her after that.”
I grabbed Lucas’s hand. “Do you think that guy’s done something to her?”
“She could just be running late.” Lucas was trying to be reassuring, but he wasn’t doing a very good job.
Vic shrugged. “Hey, maybe he finally said the right thing and she’s making out with him right now.”
Raquel wouldn’t ever do that. She was too cautious and too distrustful to ever impulsively hook up with a guy she didn’t know. Guiltily, I wished that I’d asked her to hang out with Lucas and me instead of leaving her on her own.
My father walked into the town square, his forehead furrowed. I realized that he was even more concerned than I was. Dad said only, “Everyone, get on the bus and head back. We’ll find Raquel, so don’t worry.”
“I’ll stay and look for her, too.” I stepped toward my father and away from Lucas. “We’re friends. I can think of a few places she might have gone.”
“Okay.” Dad nodded. “Everybody else, get going.”
Lucas put one hand on my shoulder. This wasn’t the romantic farewell I’d planned earlier. He wasn’t selfishly disappointed, however. All I saw was concern for Raquel and for me. “I ought to stay behind, too, help you guys out.”
“They won’t let you. I’m sort of surprised they let me.”
“It’s dangerous,” he said quietly.
My heart went out to him—desperate to protect me, completely unaware how well I could protect myself. I said the only thing that I thought might reassure him. “My father will look out for me.” I went up on tiptoe to kiss Lucas’s cheek, then brushed my fingers across the brooch again. “Thank you. So much.”
Lucas didn’t like leaving me behind, but mentioning my dad had done the trick. He kissed me quickly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
As the bus pulled away, my father and I began hurrying toward the outskirts of town. Dad said, “Do you really know where she might’ve gone?”
“Not a clue,” I admitted. “But you need every searcher you can get. Besides, what if you need somebody to cross the river?” Vampires don’t like running water. It didn’t bother me at all—at least, not yet—but it drove my parents crazy to cross even a small stream or brook.
“My girl can take care of herself.” Dad’s pride caught me off guard, but in a good way. “You’re really growing up here, Bianca. Your time at Evernight—it’s changing you for the better.”
I rolled my eyes, tired of the father-knows-best routine already. “That’s what happens when you survive adversity.”
“News flash: that’s high school.”
“You act like you actually went to high school.”
“Trust me, adolescence was lousy in the eleventh century, too. Humanity changes all the time, but there are a few constants. People get stupid when they’re in love; people want what they can’t have; and the years between ages twelve and eighteen always, always suck.” Dad became serious again as we left the main road. “We don’t have anyone on the west side of the river. Stay close to the bank if you’re worried about losing your way.”
“I can’t get lost.” I pointed upward at the bright, starry sky, where all the constellations waited to guide me. “See you later.”
Although we hadn’t yet seen our first snowfall, winter had claimed the countryside. The earth beneath my feet was crisp with frost, and dead grasses and leafless shrubs scraped against my jeans legs as I made my way along the riverbank. Pale beech trunks stood out from the other trees like lightning bolts in a stormy sky. I ended up staying fairly close to the water, not because I was worried about getting lost but because Raquel might be—and if she’d wandered this way, she’d have wanted the river to give her some direction.
She wouldn’t have wandered off. If Raquel came this way, it isn’t as simple as her being lost.
My overactive imagination, always quick to supply worst-case scenarios, kept flashing terrible scenes in my mind: Raquel robbed by some townie who wanted to steal from one of the “rich kids” at that school. Raquel trying to run from the drunken construction workers I’d seen in the pizza place, transformed by my fear from protectors of women to predators. Raquel overcome by whatever sadness it was that haunted her, walking into the icy waters of the river and being sucked down by its powerful current.
A swift, rushing sound above me made me jump, but it was only a crow, flapping from branch to branch. I breathed out in relief—then realized that, further to the west, there was a spot of brightness in the bushes.
I hurried in that direction, running as quickly as I could. Once, I opened my mouth to call Raquel’s name, then shut it again without calling. If it was Raquel ahead, I’d find out soon enough. If it wasn’t, I might not want to draw attention.
As I got closer, my breathing now heavy from exertion, I heard Raquel’s voice. Whatever gladness I might’ve felt was destroyed by her frightened words: “Leave me alone!”
“Hey, what’s the problem?” I knew that voice—too confident, slyly mocking. “You keep acting like we’d never met before.”
It was Erich. He hadn’t come into town on the school trip. None of the “Evernight types” had. They seemed to consider it boring—or, more likely, they were simply eager for some time to hang out and be themselves without having to hide their true natures. At the moment, though, Erich looked like he was way too close to his true nature. Apparently he’d followed us into Riverton and waited to find somebody who walked off alone—and that was Raquel.
“I told you I didn’t want to talk to you,” Raquel insisted. She was terrified. Normally she came across as tough, but Erich’s stalking had scared her past that. “So stop following me.”
“You act like I’m a stranger.” He smiled. His teeth were white in the darkness, and I remembered films I’d seen of sharks. “We sit next to each other in biology, Raquel. What’s the problem? What’s the worst thing I could do?”
Now I knew what had happened. Erich had found Raquel on her own in town and started following her. Instead of waiting in the square with everyone else, where she would’ve had to put up with his presence or maybe even ended up sitting with him on the shuttle bus, she’d tried to slip away. In the process, she’d gone farther and farther from the center of Riverton, then out of town altogether. By then she would’ve known she’d made a mistake, but by then he had her out here alone. She’d walked almost two miles toward school, despite the coldness of the night, and I felt a flare of pride in Raquel’s courage and stubbornness.
Okay, it had also been stupid, but she had a right to expect that one of her classmates wouldn’t try to kill her.
&nb
sp; “You know what?” Erich said casually. “I’m hungry.”
Raquel’s face paled. She couldn’t have known what Erich really meant by that, but she sensed what I sensed. What had been taunting was about to become something else. The energy between them was changing from potential to kinetic. She said, “I’m going.”
“We’ll see where you go,” he replied.
I yelled, as loudly as I could, “Hey!”
Both Raquel and Erich whirled around to see me. Raquel’s face instantly melted in relief. “Bianca!”
“This is none of your business,” Erich snapped. “Back off.”
That startled me. I’d assumed he would be the one backing off as soon as he’d been caught in the act. Apparently not. Normally this would be the moment when I started getting terrified, but I didn’t. I felt adrenaline pumping through me, but I wasn’t going cold or getting shaky. Instead, my muscles tensed with the same kind of anticipation you feel before a race. My sense of smell sharpened so that I could detect Raquel’s sweat, Erich’s cheap aftershave, even the fur of small mice in the underbrush. I swallowed hard, and my tongue brushed against my incisors, which were lengthening slowly in my excitement.
You’ll start reacting like a vampire, my mother had said. This was part of what she’d meant.
“I’m not leaving. You are.” I stepped closer to them, and Raquel stumbled toward me, trembling too hard to really run.
Erich’s irritation made him scowl. He looked like a petulant child denied an after-school snack. “What, are you the only one allowed to break the rules?”
“Break the rules?” Raquel’s voice was confused, near hysteria. “Bianca, what is he talking about? Can we get out of here?”
I went pale. He smirked at me. I recognized the threat at last. Erich was on the verge of telling Raquel who and what we both were. If he revealed the secret of Evernight, and he convinced Raquel that we were really vampires—and Raquel’s earlier suspicions made me believe that he could—then she’d run from us both. That would give him the perfect opportunity to bite her. He could even claim he’d done it to erase her memory. I could try to stop him with the fighting instincts I already felt sharpening within me, but I wasn’t a full vampire yet. Erich was stronger and swifter than I was. He’d beat me. He’d get Raquel. All he had to do was say a few more words.
