“Why?” she asked, smiling prettily. Josie was in yoga pants and a giant shirt that had Boyz II Men on it. Hair in a braid. No makeup. Curled up in blankets on her bed.
“Because you look absolutely beautiful,” I said.
She bit her lip. I wanted to bite that lip.
I wanted her to bite me.
“And I have no idea what I’m even wearing right now,” I laughed, looking down at my appearance. “Do I look normal?”
“You look like a real-life version of the Brawny lumberjack,” she said dryly.
I laughed, loving the way her smile flashed in return. “Is that a compliment?”
“Si,” she promised. “And I guess… talking on the phone has been amazing, but I… I miss your face.” Her finger reached out, stroking the screen. I couldn’t believe this was happening, and my heart raced at the thought of what this meant.
Maybe she’d be… maybe soon.
“Seeing you is… I mean,” I stopped, struggling to find the right words. “Seeing you is really powerful, Josie.”
She nodded, clutching the blanket around her shoulders. “I keep thinking I see you in L.A. The bearded man-bun thing is kind of hot right now, and there’s like a million copies of you walking around the streets.”
I scoffed. “I’ve had long hair since I was sixteen. How can it be really hot right now?”
“Just a trend,” she grinned. “Although, as the Original, it clearly looks the best on you.” She winked.
My heart fluttered like a teenager’s, flirting with a crush.
“About once a day I think I see you. And it’s like…” she cleared her throat, shifting on the bed. “Well, I really wish you were here right now.” Those dark eyes captivated me. “And I loved your video. It’s why I wanted to call you. That was really thoughtful, Gabe.”
I shrugged. “I thought maybe you could listen to it tonight, and it might help you sleep a little.”
We stared at each other for half a minute, moon-eyed and goofy. “Hey, can you show me your house?” I finally asked before I did something stupid like declare my undying love.
“Yes,” she squealed, climbing off the bed. “I forgot you haven’t seen it.”
“Nope,” I said. “Not at all.”
“I bought it more than a year ago. I’m really proud of it,” she smiled. “But I’m not going to show you my bedroom because it’s a wreck.”
There was a husky tinge to her voice. I wanted to ask her if she touched herself in that bed. Touched herself and thought of me.
She slowly panned the camera around her kitchen, which was the most Josie-looking room I’d ever seen. Her appliances were old and pastel-colored; the floor was black and white tile. The windows were wide open, and every single available space was covered in either art or photographs. I spotted a Polaroid of Josie and Lucia, looking years younger, hugging each other and laughing in front of the Hollywood sign. Black-and-white photos of family members; funky art in a rainbow of colors.
“Tell me what you do here,” I said, and she turned the camera back around, scrunched up her face, tapped her finger against her lip.
“Drink endless cups of coffee with my mom. Or Lucia, usually after a night where we haven’t slept,” she said, laughing. “I cook for my brothers a couple times a month, and all of us squeeze in here, wives and kids and all.”
“Do they ever cook for you?” I asked.
“Fuck yes,” she said. “Actually, they’re better cooks than me.”
I laughed as she showed me her tiny backyard, lit with string lights and filled with mismatched furniture. I could picture her there on summer nights, surrounded by those she loved. Her community. I felt a twisted pang when I thought about how swiftly I’d dismissed this. The life she led before Big Sur.
“This is my living room,” she said, passing a room that was just as cozy and colorful as her kitchen. Framed photos hung on her wall, magazine covers of her clients, an interview she’d done for Style Magazine with Lucia. In the two years since the wedding, Josie seemed to fill this house with every ounce of her personality, and it only made me fall for her more. Could picture us entwined on that very couch, every inch of our bodies pressed together.
“And this is my favorite place,” she said, opening the front door to her porch. There was a swing and more chairs, and she’d hung miniature, glowing globes from the ceiling that cast everything in a soft glow.
“I sit out here all the time. Watch my neighbors. See what’s going on. Actually, I’ll probably get a call from my parents any minute now.”
“Why?” She’d flipped the phone back toward her face, and I desperately wanted to cup her cheek.
“Because I’m outside, in my pajamas, talking into my phone,” she teased. “This neighborhood is filled with busybodies, Gabriel. I’ll have to answer to them eventually.”
“Ah,” I said, stroking my beard, “The Big Sur Channel is alive and well even in East L.A.”
“Especially in East L.A.,” she laughed. “There’s a Gloria and a Gladys in every town. Even big cities.”
“You know I’m not even sure the sisters know video chatting is possible. Really takes their perversion to a whole new level.”
Josie arched an eyebrow. “In their house, I bet there’s a grainy, out-of-focus video of the Hollywood People that they watch on loop.”
“Oh, definitely. Also, they came by yesterday to swap out the penis paintings.”
“No,” she said with mock horror.
“Yes,” I replied. “And replaced them with another slew of paintings also of penises.”
“Let me guess. They’re all doing things.”
I laughed, walking across The Bar to show her on the video. “This one’s wearing a bow tie and a top hat. Who knows why. This one I think is like… a financier? Maybe a banker?”
Josie frowned. “That one doesn’t look very happy.”
I leaned in closer. “You’re right. Fucking miserable.”
“What else happened today?” she asked, wrapping an arm around her legs and laying her cheek against her knee. Josie gave me a toothy, sweet grin. I was falling hard for both sides of this girl. The fierce bad-ass who’d strapped me to a bed. And this softer, gentler woman who was just starting to reveal herself to me.
I didn’t know what this meant. Any of it. Except if felt like fucking progress.
“Settle in, gorgeous,” I said. “Because tonight I had to moderate a semi-drunk argument between Ruth and Kevin about the separation of church and state. As related to pornography. Per the request of Gladys and Gloria.”
Another smile. Another laugh.
Big Sur and L.A. were feeling closer and closer.
* * *
Two weeks later, I carried a six-pack over to my parents’ house for family dinner. Kissed Lola. Hugged Maya, Isabelle, and Paige. Punched Austin. Let my parents hug me and check me over for signs of injury.
“I’m really okay,” I laughed, sprawling in one of the dining room chairs. “It was an emotional pain I was dealing with that first month. You remember, Dad. When Mom was going to the prom with that other guy, and you thought you’d lost her. It was that same, gut-wrenching agony of unrequited…” I coughed, tripping over the words. Lust, like, love. Because now, after I was done closing down The Bar, Josie and I video-chatted every night, and the intimacy of seeing each other, of exposing the other person to the moments of humor, frustration, wonder, that make up your day… my feelings for Josie were spiraling beyond intense captivation and powerful lust.
That gut instinct I’d had, that Josie and I were going to be something to each other, was turning out to be right.
At least, I hoped so.
My parents shared a look that spoke volumes. “You couldn’t pay me to go back to that time,” he said, squeezing my mom’s hand. “Meanwhile, your mom was going through something similar, and I had no idea. Our houses were one-hundred yards apart, and both of us were lying on the floor, wallowing.”
“Hey, that
’s how I found Gabe that one day,” Isabelle pointed out, tossing me a wink.
Maya leaned her head against Isabelle’s shoulder. I arched an eyebrow Isabelle’s way. I hadn’t seen Iz in a month, but the last time we’d talked, she had mentioned that she and Maya were starting to regain their balance. Find some peace with motherhood.
“I’m a great wallower,” I shrugged. “What can I say?”
“I saw you at the farmer’s market, talking into the phone as you walked around,” Austin said. “Was that Josie? Were you like… showing her the fruits and vegetables?”
Every woman at the table pinned me with a wide-eyed gaze.
“It was a Saturday. We were… showing each other around our respective hometowns. You know. East L.A. has a bustling farmer’s market as well, and I wanted to see it. Had to return the favor.”
You’re a fucking goner, Isabelle mouthed at me. I grinned.
I fucking know, I mouthed back.
“So you’re video-chatting now?” My mom asked, opening up another bottle of wine and giving us all another generous pour. All the doors and windows in the house were open, and the rich green of the forest pressed inside. “That’s a good sign.”
Lola reached for me and I leaned over, scooping her up from Maya’s arms. She was eight months old now and getting bigger every day. “I think so.”
“You’re listening,” Isabelle said, and Maya gave me a knowing smile.
“I’m trying,” I said as Lola giggled against my chest. “I’m really trying.”
Chapter 43
Josie
Two weeks later
Last night, I’d had another dream about Gabe.
A sex dream.
We’d been video-chatting and texting and talking on the phone for more than two months now, and although we sometimes gently flirted, our conversations stayed sex-free.
Probably because I could feel Gabe yielding to me, waiting for me to call the next step.
Which was beautiful and kind and sensitive, and God help me, it only made me want to fuck him more. My intense attraction to him hadn’t waned a bit—only increased—but I think we both knew that sex, even video sex, would push us towards the next ultimate step.
Figuring Things Out.
And this morning, I woke up feeling turned on and wanton. Confident. I felt like the Josie I’d been before meeting Clarke and the Josie I was now had finally met. Converged into a woman I could feel proud to be. Strong but vulnerable. Trusting and kind to myself.
Unashamed of my scars.
Clarke hadn’t interrupted my thoughts for three months. My client list had exploded. L.A. had never been more beautiful to me.
And a bearded Viking was willing to be in a relationship with me set to my terms.
He’d compromised and listened and bent to my desires. But I knew what Gabe wanted.
Me. All of me.
And I wanted to show him that I was listening too.
I rolled over in bed and sent him a text.
Tonight, when we see each other, what if we did something different?
Gabe responded almost immediately.
What do you have in mind, gorgeous?
My heart raced, arousal pulsing beneath my skin.
I want to watch you take off all of your fucking clothes, I sent. Then I want you to take that thick cock of yours in your hand.
I waited twenty seconds. Then: And I want to watch you stroke it.
A full, tortuous minute went by, where I frantically tried to convince myself I hadn’t pushed the envelope. Rushed us. Maybe I could tell him I’d taken an Ambien and was sleep-texting. Or that Lucia had hacked into my phone and was sending joke texts to all of my contacts. The three little dots appeared and disappeared in an agonizing dance of despair.
And then, finally: So sorry. I literally fell out of my bed, face first, when I read these messages. Took me a second to float back down to Earth. And I might have broken all of my bones.
I’d never experienced the exhilaration of sky-diving before, but suddenly felt like I might know what that joyous, weightless feeling might be like.
Poor baby, I wrote, grinning like a loon.
Not poor anything, he responded. Ready, Josie. So ready.
For what? I sent, toes curling in anticipation.
To beg for it, he said.
I fell back onto the bed, sighing with happiness, heart singing.
And so turned on I couldn’t see straight. Lazily, I let my fingers trail down my belly, pressing between my legs. Pretending it was Gabe.
Good, I finally said. When I call you tonight, you better be naked and on your knees.
Fuck. Yes. He responded.
* * *
It was the longest work day of my entire life, only made brighter by the continual text exchange between Gabe and me. Which was no longer unusual—we talked constantly now—but this one had the added benefit of being flirty and sexy. I smiled so much my cheeks hurt. Updated Lucia every few hours—she couldn’t stop sending the heart-eyes emoji to me and just “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” over and over.
When I got home, I pulled on a sexy black nightie. Dark lipstick. Curled my hair and poured myself a big glass of red wine. Slipped on a pair of stilettos with a deadly looking heel.
And then I called Gabe.
It was like the day Gabe sent the bouquets all over again—that delicious anticipation of seeing the other person. Your thoughts crowded with desire and yearning. Butterflies shimmered in my stomach, and my heart was a wild, untamed thing.
And then the video screen clicked on, and I saw him.
Arousal slammed through me like a gale-force wind. My Viking, every single one of his brawny muscles on display. He was on his knees with his hands behind his back, stretching his chest. The muscles of his arms and shoulders rippled with strength.
And his heavy cock, standing straight out from his body.
Suddenly, I knew where this night would lead.
“Gabriel,” I purred. He lifted his head and gave me a filthy, entirely un-submissive grin.
“Josefine.” We stared at each other for a full minute, and even through the screen, even a hundred miles away, I could feel his hot, caressing gaze on every single inch of my skin.
“You followed my instructions,” I said, taking a sip of wine and spreading my legs for the camera.
His throat worked, stomach muscles flexing. “Yes, ma’am,” he rasped.
“Good,” I said, approving. “Now, take your cock in your hand.”
He did, slowly wrapping his fingers around the base. I nodded and he gave it a slow, leisurely tug. Gabe groaned, low and intense, and if I was ever going to orgasm just from a sound, that sound would be it.
“It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other,” I said, letting the straps of my lingerie slip down my shoulder. “Why don’t you tell me every single dirty fantasy you’ve had these past months.”
“Who said I had dirty fantasies?” he growled, fingers working.
“Stop,” I said shortly, and he did. Flashed me a rueful smile.
“Smart mouth,” I teased, fully exposing my breasts. His fingers twitched but didn’t move. I cupped my breasts in my hand, smoothing my thumb over my nipple piercings, and there was that sound again. It was so hungry.
“Now you can keep going,” I said, and his fingers flew. “And tell me, Gabe.”
“I thought about… you on your knees.”
I spread my legs wider. “Keep going.”
“You… on your knees. Sucking me off behind the bar while I served customers. But you don’t… you don’t let me come. For hours.”
I bit my lip, loving that my Viking loved being denied as much as I loved denying him.
“Interesting. What else?” I demanded.
“I thought about taking your ass,” he finally groaned.
I swallowed a moan. Because of course he did.
“That’s not very nice,” I chided.
“I’d make it nice,” he panted
. “So nice for you. Use my tongue and my fingers until you beg for it.”
I squirmed on my bed. “What else? And don’t you dare stop.”
His movements were becoming frantic, and every pulse of his fingers I felt. He was racing toward release, and so was I—even though I wasn’t even touching myself.
“Christ, Josie, I thought about so much. So fucking much. I thought about how your pussy tasted. Thought about that sweet clit and the way you screamed when I tongued you. I thought about being tied up for you. Strapped to the fucking bed. I thought about… fuck, I even thought about fucking you with another fucking man. Giving you that fantasy you’ve always wanted.”
Tilting my head, I spread my legs as wide as they could go, completely exposing myself to Gabe’s starved gaze. Another groan and a husky curse.
“Gabe,” I prompted.
“We’d do it… we’d do it however you wanted it. However you’d make us do it. Eat that sweet pussy while he eats your ass. Suck my cock while he takes you from behind. Knowing you, you’d make me watch while he fucked you, while he worked over that gorgeous cunt of yours.”
“That’s absolutely goddamn right,” I said, so fucking turned on by this fantasy. “And you wouldn’t get to come.”
He shook his head with a small smile. “No, Josie. You’d torture me all night long, gorgeous.”
“I like that idea,” I said softly, sensing he was close.
Torn between denying him more—or taking the leap.
“Josie, fuck, I’m going to come.” His voice was strangled with need.
“And?” I taunted.
“I don’t… can I? Please?”
My Viking, on his knees and begging for it, just like he promised. And in the midst of this erotically charged moment, the complete and total trust this man had in me flared in my chest like a match being struck.
“When, Josie?” His head was back, throat exposed, arm muscles bunching with exertion.
I leaned in closer, wanting to make sure he heard me.
“I don’t know, Gabriel. How soon can you get down here?”
Fall in Love Book Bundle: Small Town Romance Box Set Page 220
