Overall, I was pleased with the whole look, and hoped that Cannon might feel the same.
He was strapping something that looked like a sleeping bag to the back of his bike as I parked and climbed out, and as soon as I saw him, an explosion of butterflies sprang to life in my belly. Banks was standing beside him, and their conversation came to an abrupt stop the moment they spotted me.
Banks smiled big and pulled me into a hug. “Well hey there, beautiful, this is a pleasant surprise. How you been?”
“I’ve been good, thanks. How are you and Bev?”
“We’re good, darlin’. Bev’s good. She’ll be sorry she missed you.”
I stepped back and stuffed my hands in the back pockets of my jeans. “Tell her to give me a call. We can do lunch or something.”
“I’ll tell her. It was good seein’ you, honey, but I better get back to it.”
He gave me one last hug before turning on his boots and moving back through the bay door.
Those nervous butterflies came back when I shifted my attention to Cannon and smiled. “Hey.” Lame start, Farah. Jeez.
He returned my grin with a much more platonic one. “Hey, back. What brings you by, darlin’? Somethin’ wrong with the Benz?”
He’d just given me the perfect segue into my excuse for being there. “Oh no. Nothing like that. The car’s fine, but I wanted to ask you a favor.”
Leaning back against his bike, he crossed his arms and ankles and gave me his full attention for the first time in a week. “Shoot.”
“Well, um . . .” I bit my bottom lip before finally saying, “I was hoping maybe I could talk you into going car shopping with me. I mean, it’s a little ridiculous to have a fancy sedan around here. I’ve heard there are some great places up in the mountains, but I’m not sure it would hold up on those roads. I thought I’d get something a little more dependable, you know? Maybe an SUV? But I don’t really know much about cars, and I figured, since you’re a mechanic, you’d know what I should be looking for.”
As soon as the last word left my mouth, something in Cannon’s eyes shifted. It was almost like a shutter had fallen over them.
“Wish I could help, Farah, but I’m actually gonna be outta town the next couple of weeks.”
My stomach sank like a rock. “Out of town?”
“Yeah. Me and some of my buddy’s do a two-week road trip each year. I’m actually takin’ off as soon as I finish loading up.”
“Oh, well . . .” I looked to the motorcycle to see there were saddlebags attached that I hadn’t noticed before. “That’s okay. I mean, I could wait until you got back—”
He pushed off the bike and stood tall as he lifted a tattooed arm and scratched at the back of his neck. “Maybe one of the other guys could help you. Or my dad. But I really should finish up here and get on the road.”
I was being blown off. Granted, it was in the nicest way possible, but it still hurt like hell.
My skin broke out in goosebumps, my stomach revolted, and my brain screamed at me to just bail out. But I wasn’t going to do that. I was New Farah, damn it. And New Farah wasn’t a coward. “What’s going on, Cannon?” I asked, deciding my best bet was to just jump right in. “I don’t know what’s changed, but something has, and I want to know what it is.”
His chin jerked back in surprised. I’d always been skittish as hell around him, so for me to be so forward was a shock.
Well, he could join the club, because I was pretty shocked myself.
“Darlin’—”
“See?” I yelped, pointing my finger in his face. “That right there. That’s exactly what I’m talking about. What happened to Hummingbird? What happened to taking me out on your bike?”
He didn’t bother making excuses or lying. He gave it to me straight, and when he did, it felt like I’d been punched in the gut. “Look, Farah . . .” I wasn’t sure what was coming next, but I had a bad feeling that anything that started with “Look, Farah” in that tone wasn’t going to fill me with warm and fuzzies. “You’re a sweet girl, but this isn’t gonna work out.”
And there you had it. I was right.
Giving my head a shake, I tried to piece my thoughts together, but I couldn’t make sense of what was happening. “What isn’t going to work out?”
His expression hardened. The ink on his arms danced as he crossed his arms over his chest again. “Don’t do that. Don’t play games. You know exactly what I’m talkin’ about. You’re attracted to me. That’s why you get so damn nervous every time I’m around.”
I wasn’t going to bother denying it. Not only because he’d see right through me, but because I was done lying to myself. “And you’re attracted to me.”
“I am,” he confirmed, but the way he said it didn’t make me feel good. “But like I said, it’s not gonna work out.”
My sinuses began to sting, and I fought hard to keep my eyes from welling up. I knew what this was about. I’d sensed the shift in him the other night, but I’d stupidly hoped I was just imagining things. “This is because of who my family is, isn’t it?” I asked, my voice coming out scratchy. “Because of the money?”
“We’re from two different worlds, Farah. There’s no way this ever would’ve worked.”
As badly as I wanted to crumble, I wouldn’t. I held my head high and my shoulders square as I declared, “How could you possibly know that? You barely know me at all.”
His bark of laughter was harsh and cutting. “Come on, babe. You roll into town in a hundred-thousand-dollar ride. You shell out cash for that house like it’s nothin’ then don’t even blink at the cost of havin’ it restored. You work at a bar, but give every dime you earn to someone else. It’s commendable, no denyin’ that. What you’re doin’ for Shane is amazing, but the fact you can afford to do it just goes to show how different we are. You can ditch your fancy-ass clothes and buy new ones, but it doesn’t change anything. We’re just too different.”
My heart felt like it had just been torn in half as I nodded sadly. “I see.”
“Christ, I’m just a mechanic. What the hell do I have to offer that you can’t get for yourself?”
My voice was a whisper as I said, “And the fact that you just said that proves how right you are. We are too different, because I’d never care about something like that. You could be a panhandler or beat on buckets like they were drums for money, and the only thing that would matter to me was that you were happy.”
“Farah—”
“I grew up with money. But that was all I ever had. If it wasn’t for my brother and the goddamn family driver I wouldn’t have ever known what it was like to be loved. You think you have nothing to offer me because your bank account is smaller than mine, but what you don’t get was that you gave me everything just by being nice to me.”
“Hummingbird—”
The look on his face was like I’d just cut him wide open, but I didn’t care. “I never had friends until I came here. I was engaged to a man who only wanted me because I looked good on his arm for photos. I didn’t know what it was like to belong or feel included in anything until I moved to this town. You had all of that from the moment you came into this world. And the saddest part is that you don’t see the truth. I might have been the one with the money, Cannon, but your life was so much richer than mine could have ever been.”
“Farah, baby—”
He took a step in my direction, and I immediately moved back. “Be safe on your trip, Cannon. I’ll see you around.”
With that, I turned and climbed back into my car.
And somehow, I managed to keep the tears at bay until the door to my room at Redbud Inn closed behind me.
Chapter 14
Cannon
The trip had been absolute shit.
For two weeks I rode around the country, seeing some of the most beautiful sights in existence. And all I could think about the whole goddamn time was the sadness in Farah’s eyes just before she turned and walked away from me.
“Okay, this has to stop. You’re seriously bumming me out.”
The sound of Sage’s voice pulled me back to reality. The rest of the guys I’d gone on the ride with had all made the trek back home, but for my last stop I’d headed to a small town in Virginia called Hope Valley to crash with one of my oldest friends.
Sage and I had dated back when we were kids, and even though there were years between then and now where we hadn’t seen each other, there was always a part of me that thought we’d get back together. But that had just been young love holding on to something that was long gone. Sage was now married and settled down, and while her husband, Xander, and I hadn’t hit it off in the beginning, we were tight now.
There was no lingering feelings or unrequited love between me and Sage, but she was still my family. We’d grown up together. Her dad, Judge, had been tight with my old man, Danno, Fletch, and Scooter since they were kids, so the bonds with all of us ran deep, and I was just glad to have her back in my life.
I’d come to Hope Valley hoping it would pull me out of the funk I’d been in for the past two goddamn weeks, but there was no such luck.
“You’ve been here for three days, and you’ve moped the entire time. I’m getting depressed just looking at you. Snap out of it!”
To get her point across, she kicked my feet off the coffee table, nearly causing me to spill the beer I’d been holding.
“Christ, Chestnut.” I shot her a dirty look and wiped at the suds that had splashed across the front of my shirt. “I’m not mopin’. I’m watchin’ the game. Chill out, would you?” I pointed to the TV Xander and I had been camped out in front of, but the truth was, I hadn’t paid attention to a single minute of it.
She slammed her hands down on her hips and glared. “You’re moping. I know moping when I see it, and that’s exactly what you’re doing.”
“I don’t mope,” I declared, returning to my kicked back position and reaching my free hand across the couch to give their big dog, Bear, a scratch behind his ear. “This is me relaxin’.” I turned my head in her direction and gave her my most charming smile before saying something I knew would set her off. “How about you head into the kitchen and make me a sandwich so I can get back to it?” No doubt I’d pay for that one later, but pushing her buttons was too much fun.
“Xander, baby, we have a shovel out in the shed, don’t we?”
He looked over at his wife, one brow arched. “Why?”
“’Cause I’m about to murder him, and I need to make sure we have the necessary tools to hide the body.”
As used to her dramatics as I was, Xander shook his head on a low chuckle and turned back to the TV without a word.
“Empty threats,” I continued to needle. “You’d miss me too much if I was gone for good.”
Sage stepped over my legs and shifted her dog, Bear, to the middle of the couch so she could sit on the other end. But instead of being quiet and letting me pretend to watch the game, she kept pushing. “What’s going on? You might as well just tell me, because if you don’t, you know I’ll call Bev.”
I turned to her with an incredulous laugh. “Did you really just threaten to call my mom, Chestnut?”
“Bet your ass I did. And you know I will, so start talking.”
I knew her well enough to know she was full of shit about killing me, but when it came to calling my mom, she meant business. And the last thing I needed was Beverly Banks on my ass. Especially if it was about Farah.
Pursing my lips, I blew out a frustrated breath and sucked back more of my beer before giving in to my pushy friend.
“There’s a woman back in Redemption. Before I left for this trip, I fucked everything up.”
“Well ho-ly shit,” she crowed. “Cannon Banks is sprung for a woman!”
“And we’re done.” I dropped my feet to the floor and started to push up.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Sage grabbed my arm and pulled me back down. “I was just kidding. I’m sorry. I’ll stop, I promise.”
I shifted on the couch to face her, lifting a skeptical brow, to which she mimed zipping her lips and locking them tight.
“That’s it. That’s all there is to the story. I fucked it up. The end.”
“Well how did you fuck it up?”
“I found out somethin’ about her, and I didn’t handle it well.” She waited for several seconds for me to expand on that, and when I didn’t, she waved me on. “She’s rich, Sage.”
Her forehead puckered in confusion. “Okay. So?”
“Like really fuckin’ rich. You ever heard of Hyland Steel?”
Her eyes went round and her lips parted on a low whistle. “Yeah. Okay, so she’s filthy stinking rich. I’m still not seeing the problem here.”
“Of course you don’t. You’re a chick. You wouldn’t get it.” I turned to Xander and pleaded, “Come on man, help me out here.”
He tossed the remote onto the coffee table, stood from the chair he’d been lounging in all afternoon, and started in the direction of the kitchen.
“Where are you going?” Sage called after him.
“To chop firewood.”
“But it’s September! It’s barely cold outside. There’s no need for firewood.”
He planted his hands on his hips and cut his eyes at his wife. “Well, it’s either that or stay in here, listenin’ to you two gab about relationships and feelings while my scrote shrivels up and my balls burrow into my stomach. I choose option A.”
“God! You’re such a pain in the ass,” Sage shouted at his back.
“Love you too, Shortcake. Come get me when dinner’s ready.” Then the back door closed on him.
Sage’s eyes returned to me mid-roll. “Just ignore him. Now explain to me why this girl of yours being loaded is a problem.”
“What aren’t you gettin’, sweetheart? I’m just a mechanic, for Christ’s sake.”
“You aren’t just anything,” she snapped, fire flashing in her gaze. “Last I checked, you owned half of that garage outright, with plans to buy your dad out of the other half in a few years so he can retire. And from what your dad told mine, Banks Body and Auto Repair is doing so well, you’re thinking of opening a second garage within the next year or so.”
“What’s your point?”
She reached over and pinched me in the underside of my arm. “My point, jackass, is that you aren’t just a mechanic. You’re a small business owner with plans to expand that business. That’s nothing to sneeze at.”
“I love you for sayin’ that. Means the world, sweetheart, but it doesn’t change the facts.”
Her forehead pinched together in a frown as she asked, “Did this chick say something to make you think you aren’t good enough for her? ’Cause if she did, I’m jumping in my baby right now, driving down to Tennessee, and kicking her ass.”
“Christ, no. It wasn’t anything like that.”
I’d thought back on what she said a million times over the past couple weeks, and every time I did, I hated myself a little more.
What you don’t get was that you gave me everything just by being nice to me.
Fuck, but I wanted to ride up to Connecticut and beat the shit out of her parents and that fucking ex of hers.
“She’s not like that, Sage. I told you. I’m the one that fucked up, not her.”
She was silent for a beat before gently asking, “You really like this girl, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” I replied just as quietly. “I do.”
Her expression was awash with sympathy as she leaned closer. “Oh, honey.” Then she smacked me in the back of the head. “You’re such an idiot!”
“Jesus Christ! What the hell was that for?”
“That, my friend, was for being a man. A stupid, moronic man! You finally met a woman you want to spend more than one night with, and not only do you screw things up, but you take off for two weeks without fixing it?” She hit me in the head again before shooting off the couch. “I love you with all my heart, Cannon, you know
that. But I swear to God, you are the dumbest boy in school.”
My voice rose as I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees. “What do you want me to do, huh?”
“I want you to get on that bike and haul ass back to Redemption and fix this. I told you a year ago that if you just opened your eyes you’d find what I found with Xander, but you didn’t want to hear it. Well, now it’s happened, and I am not gonna let you ruin my chance of throwing this in your face.”
“For fuck’s sake, you’re feral today. You on the rag or somethin’?”
She emitted a low, menacing growl and, I swear to Christ, my balls shriveled up at the sound of it.
“Fuck me, it’s only gotten worse.” Sage and I were so consumed in our yelling match that we didn’t hear Xander reenter the house. When I jerked around toward the kitchen his back was already to us, and he was booking back out to safety. Fucking coward.
Sage took a calming breath before tilting her chin up and taking on a haughty air of superiority. “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that because finding out my best friend’s finally started falling for someone has put me in a good mood. But if your ass isn’t on that bike in the next thirty minutes so you can grovel at this woman’s feet, so help me, Cannon Banks, I’m calling your mother.”
Well fuck me.
* * *
Thirty minutes later, all my shit had been stuffed into my saddlebags and I was standing in Xander and Sage’s driveway hugging my girl goodbye.
“You know you’re a giant pain in the ass, right?”
Her arms tightened around my waist before she let go and stepped back to look up at me. “I know. Xander tells me all the time. But one of these days, you guys are gonna see that I’m right about everything, and you’ll be thanking me.”
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