Today was the day Ruby Grace would start her drive across the country to serve her first full-year term in AmeriCorps.
It was hard to believe the day had finally come, that in less than an hour, my girl would slide into the driver seat of her loaded-up convertible and head out west to Utah. My chest had been tight all day with the effort it took to fight off tears, but I swore to myself that I wouldn’t cry — no matter how much I would miss her.
Because this was her dream, and I stood by my word that I’d help her achieve it.
“Are we excused?” Mikey asked from the end of the table.
An uncomfortable hush fell over the family, and Mom glanced at me and Jordan before she smiled at her youngest son. “I was going to get the pie.”
“I don’t want any.”
Mom nodded, her eyes worried and sad. “Oh. Okay, then. Yes, you’re excused.”
Mikey didn’t say another word, just shoved back from the table, the legs of his chair scraping against the wood before he stood and pushed it back in. He was down the hall and shutting the door to his bedroom before any of us even looked up again, and he didn’t say a word to any of us — not even Ruby Grace, who he knew was leaving.
He hadn’t said a word all day.
I sighed, reaching over to squeeze her hand. “Forgive him. He’s still not okay after the whole Bailey thing…”
“It’s okay,” she assured me, squeezing my hand back.
Just like we had all feared, Bailey ended up taking the record label in Nashville up on their offer earlier than she’d promised. And, along with that change, she’d also broken up with Mikey. She’d told them it wasn’t forever, it was just for a while, so she could focus on her music.
But to Mikey, it was the ultimate betrayal.
He hadn’t been the same since then, and where he usually showed his emotions willingly, opened up to us and let us help, he had shut down completely at this. Since that cold, rainy day in October when she landed the blow, my little brother had been a zombie version of the kid who existed before.
I hoped we’d get him back soon.
Jordan and Logan finished clearing the table as Ruby Grace and I did the dishes, and once the chores were done, we all gathered one last time for pie and wine. The time passed too quickly, and before I was ready, we were all standing on the porch saying our goodbyes to the woman I loved.
Jordan gave Ruby Grace the first hug — along with a AAA card he’d set up without telling any of us. “For emergencies,” he told her gruffly. She smiled and thanked him, giving him one last hug before he moved out of the way to let Logan in next.
“Stay safe, and have fun,” he said, wrapping her up in a hug. “And for God’s sake, try to call home at least once a day so I don’t have to watch my brother mope around without you here.”
I punched his arm.
Ruby Grace chuckled, giving me a knowing smirk. “I promise, I’ll text him an annoying amount in an effort to avoid that very thing.”
“Thank you,” Logan said, pressing his hands together in mock prayer as his eyes floated up.
“And you have fun with your new trainee,” she said, lifting one brow at Logan. “I heard she’s quite the firecracker.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Logan murmured. “The only reason she got the job at all is because of her father.”
“Doesn’t change the fact that you’re responsible for her now,” I pointed out.
“Who knows, maybe they’ll have you train her just so she can take your place as the lead tour guide,” Jordan chimed in.
Logan paled at that, mouth gaping like a fish as he looked at Mom first, then at me and Ruby Grace, and finally back at Jordan. “Don’t even joke about that.”
We all chuckled, but I knew there was a part of Logan that might actually be scared that could happen. After all, Mallory Scooter was the black sheep of the Scooter family. She had tattoos and piercings and purple hair and a bad attitude that had tainted her family’s image for years. It seemed her father had finally put his foot down, forcing her to be the distillery’s latest tour guide addition. It was an extremely valued job, and one that other employees fought hard for. No one was happy she’d been the one to be hired — least of all her.
Her first day was Monday, and Logan had just found out he would be her trainer.
“You’ll be alright, little bro,” I assured him, clapping him hard on the shoulder.
Mom stepped up next, her eyes glossy as she folded her arms around Ruby Grace. She held her tight, swaying a little. “I know I said it before, but we are all so proud of you,” she said, pulling back and holding Ruby Grace’s arms in her hands. “I know you’ll call Noah, but don’t forget to call me from time to time, too. Okay?”
“Of course. And you promise to check in on Betty from time to time?”
Mom waved her off with a smile. “Are you kidding? Visiting that wild old woman is the highlight of my week, now.”
We all laughed at that. Mom had started volunteering at the nursing home with Ruby Grace to get to know her better, and in the process, she’d fallen under the same magical spell Betty weaved on all of us. Now that Ruby Grace was leaving, I had a feeling they’d become even closer.
“Alright,” Mom said, dabbing at the corner of her eyes. “Come on, boys. Let’s leave these two alone. Drive safe, dear, and let us know when you make it. Okay?”
“Will do,” Ruby Grace assured her, and with one last wave from each of them, my Mom and brothers went back inside, leaving just the two of us on the porch.
Ruby Grace turned to me with a sad smile. “I guess this is it, huh?”
“I guess so.”
My heart squeezed violently in my chest as I reached for her hand, walking with her in silence off the porch and out to her car. It was loaded up with boxes and piles of clothes still on the hanger. I didn’t think she’d be able to fit everything she wanted in that little convertible, but she’d surprised me.
We both stopped next to her driver side door, and tears flooded Ruby Grace’s eyes as soon as she faced me.
“Hey,” I said, pretending like I wasn’t on the verge of crying myself as I pulled her into me. I wrapped my arms around her tight, resting my chin on her head as I felt her tears dampen my long-sleeve shirt. “None of that now. It’s not permanent, okay? Plus, this is your dream, this is what you’ve wanted for so long. You’re doing it, Ruby Grace,” I said, pulling back to look into her shining eyes. “You’re going to AmeriCorps.”
“I know,” she whispered, sniffing back more tears. “But, I’m leaving you in the process.”
“Just for a little while,” I reminded her. “I’ll come visit for Christmas, and every other chance I get.”
“And I’ll be back after the summer.”
“Exactly.”
“And then?”
I smiled. “And then, we find some poor sucker willing to let us on their sailboat for a month.”
Ruby Grace laughed through her tears, burying her face in my chest again with a little whimper. “I’m going to miss you so much, Noah.” She lifted her head again. “I love you. You know that?”
I chucked her chin. “I do. And I love you. You know that?”
“I do.”
Silence fell over us, and for a while, I just held her there in that quiet space, the sun above breaking through the crisp fall air.
“So, any other stops on your way out of town?”
She shook her head. “Nope. My family did our dinner last night, and I can’t go through Mom holding me in a vise grip and sobbing all over me again,” she joked, but I didn’t miss the underlying stress in her voice.
She and her parents had been working on their relationship since the not-wedding day, but I knew she was still far from forgiving and forgetting.
“And I said goodbye to Annie, Travis, and baby Bethany earlier this week.”
“I bet they’re all going to miss you.”
“They will,” she agreed. “And I’ll miss all of them. Bu
t, I’m ready.” A genuine smile bloomed on my favorite strawberry smoothie lips, then. “This is it, isn’t it? I’m going. I’m really going.”
I returned her smile. “You’re really going, Legs.” I pulled her closer, sweeping her hair from her face before lowering my voice to a whisper. “I am so proud of you.”
My fingertips found her chin, and I tilted it up, pressing my lips to hers. It was a kiss I never wanted to end, one that was slow and easy and felt like the most natural thing in the world. That’s how it had been for us since that night in the treehouse — effortless.
“Don’t find another girl while I’m gone,” she said when we finally broke the kiss.
“Yeah, right. More like you finding a hot AmeriCorps hippie with long hair and hemp clothes.”
She snorted. “You’re ridiculous.”
“And you’re amazing.” I framed her face, kissing her again. “This isn’t goodbye. It’s see you soon. Okay?”
Her eyes glossed again. “Okay,” she whispered.
I could have held her forever, kissed her over and over and over until she missed her check-in time for her new job in Utah. But, I forced a heavy sigh, breaking away from her hold and opening the driver side door for her to climb inside. Once she was seated, she rolled the window down, leaning out of it and pulling my mouth to hers once more.
“Woman,” I chuckled between kisses. “Go. Now. You’ve got a long drive to Kansas City and it’s already noon. I don’t want you driving when you’re tired tonight.”
She sighed, pulling back and pressing her forehead to mine. “Okay. Okay. I’m going.” She ran her hand over my jaw, like she was memorizing my stubble. “I’ll call you when I stop for gas and food.”
“And I’ll call you every morning to remind you how much I love you.”
She smiled at that. “You better.”
With one last, longing kiss, she let me go, and I stepped back, sliding my hands in my pockets as she fired the car up. She checked the directions on her GPS, set her phone on the dash, and waved at me with tears in her eyes before pulling out of Mom’s driveway.
I watched her take the left, watched her stop at the stop sign down the road, watched her take the left that led out of town. And when I couldn’t see her taillights anymore and she was really gone, I let the first tear fall.
I cried because I’d miss her. I cried because I’d never wanted to let someone go as much as I’d wanted to keep them forever. But I didn’t cry because I was sad.
I cried because I was thankful.
I was thankful I could finally show her what I’d wanted to all along — that she could be in love and be loved while she had a life and dreams of her own. I was thankful for the two-week vacation I had coming up in a month so I could fly to Utah and spend Christmas with her. I was thankful for my family inside the house behind me, for the group I had to support me while Ruby Grace was gone.
And more than anything, I was thankful I’d found the woman I was sure didn’t exist.
More than a thousand miles couldn’t separate us — not really. She was still here with me, and I knew she took me with her, too.
For now, I wiped my tears and headed back inside to celebrate Thanksgiving with football and leftovers and time with my family. After all, I had one little brother stressed over his new trainee at work and the other holed up in his room over a girl we all knew was trouble.
I was needed in Stratford, and she was needed in Salt Lake.
So, I counted down the days until she’d be in my arms again, until she’d be back in Stratford, until we’d make our plans for where we’d go next.
Until I’d get down on one knee and give her the ring stashed in my bedside dresser drawer.
And though my ring wouldn’t be the first to don her delicate finger, I had no doubt it would be the last.
* * *
Want more Becker brothers? Logan's book, Neat, is now live! Read it here in Kindle Unlimited!
Acknowledgments
This is my sixteenth novel.
Saying that out loud makes me laugh, and makes me tear up, and makes me sigh with happy butterflies in my heart. It also makes me realize that no book – EVER – will come without the help and support of my amazing team.
Staci Brillhart. You’re almost always first in my acknowledgements, and that’s because you truly are a part of EVERY single piece of my writing process. From the time the idea pops into my head until the final word of the acknowledgements are written, you’re there. With this one, you were absolutely instrumental in providing crucial feedback that took this from a book that would have been great to a book that I’m more proud of than I ever have been before. You loved these characters the same way I loved them, and together, we really hammered them down and created something magical. Thank you. I love you MTT.
Momma, as always, I could never do this without you. Not only did you raise me to embrace creativity and believe I could do anything I set my mind to, but you’ve also shown me throughout your entire life – even more so in this past year – just how strong the women in our family are. Whenever I hit the hard days, I hear your voice in my head. One step at a time, baby girl. And I know it’s because of you that I’m able to write “the end” on yet another book. I love you.
To my amazing team of beta readers: Kellee Fabre, Trish QUEEN MINTNESS, Kathryn Andrews, Sarah Green, Danielle Lagasse, Ashlei Davison, and Jess Vogel — thank you for reading along the way and for doing such a comprehensive read at the end of it all. We had a lot of loose ends to tie up, a lot of problems to think through and figure out solutions for, and you all were AMAZING. I don’t know how I would do this without y’all. Please don’t ever leave me! Love you all.
There is an angel walking on Earth with us. I’m convinced, because that’s the only explanation for everything that is my personal assistant/close friend/beta reader/all-hat-wearer – Christina Stokes. You are the most thoughtful and most hard-working individual I know. You are also the kindest, and I am so thankful to have you in my life. Thank you for thinking of me, of how to make my life easier, and for doing so with that dazzling smile on your face. I am more thankful for you than I could ever put into words, and I want you to know that you bring a special light to my life and to this community. I love you.
Shout out to Sasha Erramouspe for being my final eyes on this one. I cannot believe it earned the title of YOUR FAVORITE BOOK OF MINE YET. *sobs* That’s like winning the gold medal in the Olympics in my eyes. Thank you for always making time for me and for your crucial feedback. I love you!
Elaine York of Allusion, THANK YOU for always working with my ever-changing deadlines and for always polishing my manuscripts up to sparkle pretty. I’m so happy to have you on my team.
Shout out to my PR team – Social Butterfly PR. Nina, Hilary, Brooke and the rest of the team, I am always so thankful for your help and attention to detail.
To Flavia Viotti and the rest of the crew at Book Case Agency, I can’t thank you enough for all you do for my books. From foreign rights to audio and more, you get my words into the hands (and ears) of readers I couldn’t otherwise reach. Thank you!
A huge shout out to Lauren Perry of Perrywinkle Photography and to the incredible models who helped bring my vision of Ruby Grace and Noah to life. This cover is absolutely beautiful and it wouldn’t have been possible without y’all!
Thank you to all the bloggers, authors, and readers who make our book community go round. Special shout out to Angie Doyle McKeon for being the best bumble bee in all the land. I swear, I fill half my Kindle because of books you recommend, and I will never be ungrateful for when you recommend MY books. Thank you!
KANDILAND! Oh, Kandiland. You are my special little corner of the internet world, and every time I write, it’s YOU who I think about. I think about your excitement, about your love and passion for reading, and it lights me up inside. Let’s do this forever. Thank you!
And, as always, thank YOU, wonderful reader. You decided to pick up a romance
book. Not just that, but an INDEPENDENTLY PUBLISHED romance book. And I’m so lucky (and happy and thankful) that it was mine. Thanks for coming on this journey with me, and I hope you will join me for more in the future.
About the Author
Kandi Steiner is a bestselling author and whiskey connoisseur living in Tampa, FL. Best known for writing “emotional rollercoaster” stories, she loves bringing flawed characters to life and writing about real, raw romance — in all its forms. No two Kandi Steiner books are the same, and if you’re a lover of angsty, emotional, and inspirational reads, she’s your gal.
An alumna of the University of Central Florida, Kandi graduated with a double major in Creative Writing and Advertising/PR with a minor in Women’s Studies. She started writing back in the 4th grade after reading the first Harry Potter installment. In 6th grade, she wrote and edited her own newspaper and distributed to her classmates. Eventually, the principal caught on and the newspaper was quickly halted, though Kandi tried fighting for her “freedom of press.” She took particular interest in writing romance after college, as she has always been a die hard hopeless romantic, and likes to highlight all the challenges of love as well as the triumphs.
When Kandi isn’t writing, you can find her reading books of all kinds, talking with her extremely vocal cat, and spending time with her friends and family. She enjoys live music, traveling, hiking, anything heavy in carbs, beach days, movie marathons, craft beer and sweet wine — not necessarily in that order.
CONNECT WITH KANDI:
➜ NEWSLETTER: bit.ly/NewsletterKS
➜ INSTAGRAM: Instagram.com/kandisteiner
➜ TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@authorkandisteiner?lang=en
➜ FACEBOOK: facebook.com/kandisteiner
➜ FACEBOOK READER GROUP (Kandiland): facebook.com/groups/kandischasers
➜ GOODREADS: bit.ly/GoodreadsKS
➜ BOOKBUB: bookbub.com/authors/kandi-steiner
Fall in Love Book Bundle: Small Town Romance Box Set Page 305
