“Shit,” Sawyer said. “You’re right. I do owe her an apology.” He really was an asshole.
Saxon slapped him on the shoulder and went upstairs as Sawyer got on the treadmill and flipped it to the fastest setting. He needed to compose himself before he went and apologized to Phoenix.
Chapter Twenty-Three
KENZIE PICKED UP her glass of wine and relaxed in her chair. Christmas Eve dinner was going great. Even her father seemed to be having a good time. There was nothing extravagant about their meal, but Jake’s parents’ house felt homey, and with the whole family around, it really felt like a holiday.
Kenzie and Jake had dated for two years in high school, so his mom and dad had almost become like second parents to Kenzie. Her breakup with Jake had been mutual, and there had been no hard feelings, which had helped her keep a good relationship with the Bancrofts.
“So, Kenzie, we know you’ve been in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area for years, but have you ever thought about moving home?” Sandy, Jake’s mom, asked.
If this question had been presented to Kenzie only a couple of months ago, she would have said a loud, Hell no, but today, with her current jobless situation and no hope for a future one, she had to give the honest answer of, “Yes, actually, I have.” At least living with her father would be rent-free.
Sandy shared a look with Jake’s dad, Tom, and then glanced over to Jake and Brandon.
Kenzie set down her wine glass and sat up in her seat. “What’s going on?”
“Well,” Sandy said, “we were wondering if you would like to come back and work for the hotel.”
“What?” Kenzie asked, surprised.
“We need someone to run the banquet room and ballroom. We probably don’t get anywhere near as much business as you’re used to, but we keep pretty steady with weddings, birthdays, and anniversaries.”
“What happened to Celine?” For as long as Kenzie could remember, Celine had worked at the hotel.
“She retired. We’ve been trying to do without her, but we’re falling behind,” Tom said. “We’ve placed advertisements for the position, but the few applicants we’ve gotten have either not been good enough or have ended up going somewhere else.”
“Wow. This is really unexpected,” Kenzie said. She was tempted to say yes right away. Her future looked so bleak, but at the same time, she wasn’t excited to move back home to Iowa.
She would be leaving her whole life behind, including Naya. And even if she didn’t want to think about him, Sawyer flashed across her mind, too. It was silly, but if she moved away, there would never, ever be a future for them. She mentally shook her head at herself. There was never going to be a future with him, and it was foolish to even consider it.
Putting Naya and Sawyer aside, she was a little worried that if she said yes, right after returning to Iowa, she would get a phone call from one of the various places she had applied to in the Cities. She didn’t want to turn around and tell the Bancrofts that she couldn’t stay after accepting the position.
“Why don’t you think about it?” Jake said.
Kenzie laughed nervously. She’d been thinking so hard that a couple of minutes passed without her giving an answer. “I will definitely consider it. I have a lot to think about before I make any decisions.”
“That’s understandable, dear,” Sandy said. “On that note, how about we have some dessert?”
Tom rubbed his hands together. “Sounds great.”
Later, after the dishes were cleaned and put away, Kenzie joined Jake on the all-season porch.
“How are you feeling?” he asked her.
She turned her head and smiled at him. “Great. I needed this.”
“This?” he questioned.
“Some downtime with family even if it’s not my family. Things have been...stressful lately.”
Jake looked concerned. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Kenzie gave him a half smile. “I’m afraid to sound like a big whiny baby.”
Jake chuckled. “How about I promise not to judge you? Too much.”
Kenzie laughed. “Thanks a lot.”
“No, seriously, I’m here if you want to unload.”
She shook her head, embarrassed. “Just the usual. Girl’s best friend gets married and is going to have babies while girl couldn’t be any more single, which makes her feel lonely sometimes. But girl does like one boy who wants nothing to do with her. Girl has trouble at work, and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. Cue fake violin music because people are out there with real troubles.”
“Just because there are worse things that could happen doesn’t mean you don’t have a right to feel the way you do.”
“Thanks. That’s very nice of you to say.”
“Well, we all have problems.”
“What about you?”
“Me?”
“What problems do you have?”
“Let’s see. Besides the hotel stuff, my ex-girlfriend came back for Christmas, and all she can do is complain. Pretty soon, she’s going to start crying, and then I’m going to be forced to comfort her. Before we know it, she’ll be crying in my arms, which will lead to pity sex, and then I’ll have to let her down the next morning by telling her that we can never have a future together.”
Kenzie playfully shoved him. “Shut up,” she said with a laugh.
“Kidding. I’m kidding,” he said, rubbing his arm.
“Oh, that didn’t hurt.”
He laughed and dropped his arm. “You’re right. It didn’t. Things are actually okay right now,” he added, answering her question.
“I’m glad one of us is good.”
“Say, what are you doing next week?”
“Next week?”
“Yeah, New Year’s. I’m actually coming up to the Cities to visit some friends. I’m sure you already have plans, but if you don’t, you’re more than welcome to come and hang out with us.”
Kenzie sighed. She’d almost forgotten that Naya was having a New Year’s party. Vampires loved New Year’s. It was a holiday always celebrated at night, so they tended to live it up. Kenzie wanted to go and celebrate with her best friend, but she was afraid that Sawyer would be there.
“I’m supposed to go to a party. My best friend’s actually. It’ll be her last before she gives birth, so I feel like I really should go.”
“You don’t want to go?” Jake asked.
“Part of me does, but part of me doesn’t. It might be a little awkward.”
“Ah, the guy you like will be there.”
“Probably.”
Sawyer would be there, and then there was the fact that she would most likely be the only human. Besides Sawyer, everyone was nice to her, but she still felt like an outsider.
“I’ll still go because I love Naya. Hopefully, the night will be good.”
“Well, the invitation still stands.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it. You never know what’ll happen.”
On the ride home, Kenzie asked her dad, “What do you think about the Bancrofts’ offer?”
“What do you mean?”
Kenzie sighed. Until now, she hadn’t realized that a piece of her had hoped that her father would say he wanted her to take the job. “What do you think about me taking the job at the hotel and moving back here?”
She glanced away from the road to see her father shrug.
“I think it’d be fine. You should do what you want to do.”
“Do you not want me to move back?”
“I didn’t say that.” Her father’s voice was starting to get tight.
“Yeah, well, you didn’t say you wanted me to either.”
Her dad huffed out a deep breath and threw his hands up. “Kenzie, I don’t know what you want from me. I’m trying to be supportive and let you make your own decisions.”
Kenzie counted to ten before she said something she would later regret—like how sometimes she wished that her father had gotten cancer and that her mother was the
one who was still alive. Her mom would have been so excited for her to move back, and she would not have been shy about letting Kenzie know that. On some level, Kenzie understood her father was trying not to pressure her, but it would be really nice to know that she was wanted and loved. Lately, it’d seemed like no one wanted her.
“Forget I asked,” she told her dad. “I wouldn’t be able to live on my own at first, and I’m guessing you wouldn’t want me around all the time.”
Her father turned in his seat. “When did I ever say that?” He scoffed. “Women,” he muttered under his breath. “Listen, you are more than welcome to come and live with me, if you decide to move back,” he said, this time louder so that she could hear. “I never said you couldn’t move in.”
Kenzie didn’t say anything right away. It wasn’t exactly the warm welcome she had hoped for, but at least she knew she wasn’t going to have to be homeless. She raised her chin in mock confidence. “Thank you. I appreciate the offer.”
Her dad shook his head and muttered, “Women,” again under his breath.
Chapter Twenty-Four
PHOENIX GLANCED AROUND the party, knowing she should have stayed home that night. Naya was being a wonderful hostess, and Vaughn had tried to engage her, but it was stupid of her to come. She couldn’t deny that she’d wanted to catch a glimpse of Dante. There was no way she would ever seek him out, but if she were to accidentally run into him at a party that they had both been invited to, that would be an entirely different situation.
The only problem was that he wasn’t there. Vaughn and Naya’s party had started over two hours ago, and she had been waiting almost the whole time to see him. She’d attempted to socialize when she first arrived, but she wasn’t feeling it. That was when she’d had to admit that she’d only come to see Dante.
It was crazy of her to even want to see him. But she couldn’t deny that she’d missed him. Another thing that made her stupid. She had been just fine before she met Dante, but now, he’d made her want something that she couldn’t have.
She pushed herself off the wall where she’d been leaning, drank the last bit of her beer, slammed the empty bottle on the counter, and headed for the door. It was time for her to leave.
The first step of rehab was admitting that she had a problem.
Phoenix stopped in her tracks. And her problem was the sexy, dark six-three vampire who had just walked through the door.
She cursed under her breath. First, she’d wanted him there, and he hadn’t been. Then, when she’d decided it would be better not to see him, he’d shown up. She must have been a horrible person in her past life because she really hadn’t done anything in this life to deserve this.
She had to get out of there.
Someone stopped Dante to talk, and Phoenix took that as her chance to escape. She turned around and sprinted as fast as she could through the crowd, heading for the back door. The only problem was that her shoes and coat were by the front door. Thankfully, she had her car keys in her pocket, but in just her socks and bare arms, it would be a cold jaunt around to the front of the house where her vehicle was parked. Hopefully, the snow wasn’t too high to walk through.
Stupid Minnesota winter.
She slipped out the back door that led to the garage. She flipped the switch on the wall, turning on two dim bulbs in the three stalls. Off to the side, on the ground, she was ever so grateful to spot a pair of Vaughn’s work boots lying there. They’d be too big on her, but she didn’t care because they’d also be warm. She slipped them on and then went out the door leading to the backyard.
“Holy shit.” She had thought the garage was cold, but outside was freezing. She’d need to haul ass if she didn’t want to get hypothermia.
She reached behind her to close the door, not wanting to leave it open for just anyone to walk out, when a hand wrapped around her wrist and pulled her back inside.
Phoenix raised her opposite hand, ready to strike the person in the nose. As she swung around, her arm was knocked to the side, and she was hauled up against her attacker as he slammed the door behind her.
Cinnamon.
She sensed cinnamon.
She stopped fighting. “Dante?”
“What are you doing out here in barely any clothes?” His brown eyes were filled with a mix of concern and frustration.
She tried to shake him off. “You make it sound like I’m almost naked.”
“You might as well be with what you’re wearing out here.”
At the mention of the cold, she realized how warm Dante was. He was warm, and he smelled delicious. He must have showered before he’d shown up at the party because she sniffed soap on top of his scent. She wanted to nestle into him.
She attempted to shake him off again, and this time, he let her. She took a step back to create even more distance between them. She was not going to let herself lean on him.
“I wasn’t planning on being out in the cold for long. I was going to my car.”
“Is there a reason you didn’t go out the front door where your coat and shoes are, along with everyone else’s?”
“Uh...” She did not have a good reason for why she hadn’t just left via the front door. “Because.”
“Because? Is because also the reason you’re wearing men’s boots that are several sizes too big for you?”
She might as well keep going with her flimsy non-excuse. “Yep.”
“Phoenix, why can’t you just admit that you were trying to get away from me?”
Her mouth fell open. He knows? But how?
“I saw you the moment I walked in the door. I always know where you are when we’re close. And I know you were panicking, and since you were going in the opposite direction of me, you were probably trying to get away from me.”
She didn’t know what to make of his words. She was secretly pleased yet a little creeped out. “How do you know where I am and how I’m feeling?”
He shook his head. “That’s not important right now. Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something?” He took a step forward and lowered his voice. “Did I hurt you when I fed from you?”
She took a step back. “What? No, you didn’t hurt me.”
He’d only given her the second orgasm of her life. Hurt was far from the list of what she had felt that night.
A look of relief swept across his face.
“Why did you think you hurt me?”
“Because you left my hospital room in the middle of our conversation. Because you didn’t come back to the compound. Because you haven’t answered any of my phone calls or texts.”
She hadn’t responded out of self-preservation. He’d only tried to call and message her a few times right after that night. She hadn’t heard from him since. Maybe if he hadn’t quit trying, she wouldn’t have gotten curious and shown up at the party, looking for him.
“You didn’t try that hard,” she said under her breath.
“What?”
“Nothing. Look, I just thought it would be better if I didn’t stay at the compound anymore. I was sleeping in your bed, and you fed from me twice.” That made Dante the person she’d been the most intimate with in her whole life. “I thought it’d be best to put some distance between us.”
He looked a little confused, and she didn’t understand why because she felt her reasons made perfect sense.
“But that was just sleeping and feeding, a form of nourishment. It’s not that big of a deal.”
His words were almost like a slap in the face. He didn’t see what had transpired between them as anything important while he had been making her feel and experience things she’d never felt before. And those two reasons were why she needed to get out of there.
“You’re right. I’m just being silly,” she managed to say.
What is wrong with me? This was what she wanted. She wanted there to be distance between them. She didn’t want him to want her in a romantic way. If he didn’t want her, then he would never pursue a relationship, and she would ne
ver let him down.
So, why was she so sad and disappointed once again?
“Look, Phoenix, I thought we were friends, and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
She sidestepped him. “Yes. Friends. Sorry I didn’t answer your messages. I’m fine though.” She took off Vaughn’s shoes at the door and put them back where she’d found them. “I’m just going to grab my things and get going.”
She turned the knob as Dante said, “Phoenix.”
“Yes?” she said but didn’t turn around.
“I’m sorry.”
Sorry? “Whatever for? You have nothing to be sorry for.” Because the blame was all on her.
She pushed the door open and stepped inside. Despite the crowd of people, she’d never felt so alone in her entire life.
Chapter Twenty-Five
SAWYER WAS BEING snubbed by two women. It was a first for him.
Phoenix had been avoiding him since their argument. Although, to be honest, tonight, she had seemed preoccupied, and he hadn’t even tried to approach her. He still owed her an apology, but so far, she hadn’t let him get one in, and tonight was not the night to try again.
Then, there was Kenzie. Sawyer might as well not even exist. She hadn’t gone out of her way to avoid him, but whenever they were around each other, she’d act like he was pretty much a stranger. He hated to admit that it bothered him. He wanted to pull her aside and remind her that he’d been inside her and that he knew her body better than she did. He was definitely no stranger.
“Don’t you think you should take it easy?”
Sawyer turned and looked at Vaughn. Sawyer hadn’t heard him approach. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the music and loud voices or because he’d been lost in his own head.
“Everyone is always telling me that I don’t relax enough, and now that I’ve had a few drinks, you’re telling me I’ve had too many,” Sawyer told Vaughn.
“We want you to let loose, not get rip-roaring drunk. You have no tolerance, and no matter how much you drink, it’s not going to make her come over and talk to you.”
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