by Jamie Begley
The wind blew against the window and Lily shivered. The wind was picking up, yet she didn’t worry about it. There had been no storm warnings posted.
Snuggling under her covers, she curled onto her side, letting her mind go back to the dinner that evening. Beth had looked so happy with Razer. The love Beth and Razer shared was special. Lily knew she would never find happiness like her sister; however, she would be satisfied if she could find someone to share her life with and have children. She wanted several children, though she feared the likelihood of finding the perfect father didn’t exist.
Lily was certain that everything that she loved was eventually destroyed with the exception of Beth. She was the one constant in her life. If she was ever taken away, Lily didn’t know what she would do. She was the one person that kept her rooted and sane.
Lily knew that even when she was in college, all she had to do was call and Beth would be there.
God help her if the day ever came that she wasn’t.
Chapter 4
She was able to calm her nerves by Friday, relieved that the weekend was almost here. The day was spent working steadily. She didn’t even let eating lunch with Shade faze her. Lily had managed to start loosening up around him slightly since she was spending so much extra time with him every day.
Jewell and Bliss were laughing and cracking up, making jokes as they worked next to each other. Lily noticed that Georgia didn’t say anything to the two women; in fact, she seemed to be trying to get friendly with them. While both women were always friendly to her, neither made any real attempt to become better acquainted.
After lunch, Lily went into the back room and was trying to straighten the seeds when several packs spilled out. Leaning over, she was attempting to put them back when the door opened and Gaige came in.
“Need some help?”
“I think I’ve got it under control,” Lily replied. She always felt uncomfortable when he was around. He inevitably managed to make her feel dirty when he looked at her.
Before she could rise up, his hand slid under the hem of her dress, sliding against her bottom. Lily dropped the seeds she was holding to the floor, jerking away from his touch.
She didn’t say anything as she quickly went to the door.
“Hey, I was just joking,” he uttered.
As soon as the door clicked behind her, she started shaking; however, her hand managed to slide into the pocket of her dress to pull out her phone. Praying silently to herself, she pressed Beth’s number and put the phone to her ear, aware of Bliss, Jewell and Georgia looking at her strangely.
Shakily, she managed to begin the walk to her workstation, becoming more and more upset that Beth wasn’t answering. She needed Beth when the darkness was about to hit. Beth could talk to her and calm her down.
Shade was standing by Train in his office, but she noticed his eyes were on her. She ran her fingers through her hair as a whimper passed her lips. She needed Beth!
The door opened and Razer’s familiar figure walked through as another whimper unconsciously passed her lips. She took a step toward him.
“Lily!” Lily stopped, her hands going to her hair. “Lily, come here. Now!” Lily’s feet changed direction and she moved toward Shade, trying not to whimper again as both men moved out of the doorway.
“Go take your chair.” Lily wanted Razer if she couldn’t have Beth. He would get Beth for her.
“I need Beth,” she managed to get out between chattering teeth.
“Go take your chair,” Shade repeated, his expression hard. He took her jaw in his hand. “What did I tell you about me repeating instructions?”
“Shade?” Razer’s concerned voice was behind Lily’s back, but she couldn’t turn to him because Shade still had her jaw in his grip.
“I will handle this, Razer.” Lily shivered at the look Shade gave Razer. Shade’s hand dropped from her face.
She heard Train mutter, “I’ll take care of it,” before Shade came inside the office and shut the door.
“Go stand in the corner, Lily.” Shade’s hard voice kept the darkness from taking over.
“Now,” he snapped.
Lily’s feet immediately took her to the corner where she stood, facing the office, while Shade took his seat back at the desk and resumed doing his paperwork as if she wasn’t there.
Lily didn’t know what to do or how to feel. She took a deep, shuddering breath, leaning her head on the wall.
“Stand up straight.” Shade didn’t take his eyes off his paperwork, pushing a few buttons on his computer before making more notes. Lily straightened, her hand going to her wrist.
“No.” This time his eyes looked up, daring her to snap the rubber band. Her hand reluctantly fell to her side. Concentrating on what she could and couldn’t do, she eventually drew her mind away from Gaige touching her. The dual pressures of remaining straight and not snapping the rubber band were not letting her focus on the feel of his hand under her dress.
Lily’s eyes found the clock, watching it as the minutes ticked by.
It was weird, yet she felt herself gradually letting the stress of the encounter leave her body, feeling safe in the enclosed office with Shade.
“Come here, Lily.” Lily didn’t hesitate; she went to his side as he pushed his chair back from his desk. His hand reached out to snag her hand, jerking her down to sit on his thigh.
Lily started to go wild.
“Sit still.”
Lily quit fighting, sitting stiffly on his thigh. Shade didn’t attempt to touch her further, his hand going back to the computer screen, moving the cursor to begin going through the email.
“The Farthings ordered three more cases of MREs. I think they’re planning for World War III.” He went down the emails, checking them off one by one. Sometimes he would make a remark, sometimes he wouldn’t.
“So what happened to get you upset?” Shade finally asked as he scrolled down the list for the next email.
Lily, reading the email requesting survival kits, told him without thinking. “When I was in the back room, Gaige came in. I was bent over the refrigerator and he slid his hand underneath my dress.”
“I would be upset if he tried to touch my ass, too,” Shade remarked, still working and not looking at her.
Lily laughed. She couldn’t believe it, but she laughed.
“Did he try to stop you from leaving the room?” Shade probed.
“No. I probably overreacted. I know how silly I sound.”
“You didn’t overreact. He had no business touching you,” Shade said, his hand going to her hip, adjusting her so that she sat more comfortably on his leg. Several more minutes passed.
“Are you all right now?”
“Yes. Thanks, Shade.” She stood up, feeling ridiculous for freaking out over something that women had dealt with for years in the workplace.
Lily opened the door, going back to work, aware that everyone’s eyes were on her with Georgia throwing her annoyed glances.
“Are you okay?” Bliss and Jewell both stopped by her workstation as they left.
“I’m fine. I just overreacted.”
“Do you need anything before we leave?” Bliss gave her a friendly smile.
Lily hesitated before she asked, “Would you mind getting me a number four green bean pack from the refrigerator?” She felt like such a coward for asking Bliss.
“No problem,” Bliss said, turning to go to the back room to get the item.
“I’ll handle it, Bliss. You two go on up to the club.” Lily watched as Shade walked up to them. The two women left, giving her a sympathetic look.
“Go get the seeds. I’ll wait here,” Shade told her.
Lily almost refused but knew she was being silly. Gaige hadn’t been around for the rest of the afternoon, and she had gone into the room numerous times before without incident.
She went to the room, passing a gloating Georgia who was really beginning to wear on her nerves. She was mildly relieved when she heard Shad
e tell her she could leave as she passed.
Lily hurried and opened the refrigerator and found the seeds quickly, closing the door and going back to her station. Shade watched as she finished her order while the rest of the workers left for the day. When Lily had completed the order and cleaned her workstation for Monday, she was relieved that the day was finally at an end.
“Go get your bag while I lock up,” Shade ordered.
“But I thought—” Lily protested. She really wanted to go home.
Shade tilted his head to the side in question.
Resigned, Lily gave in. “I’ll go get my bag.” Lily had thought he would let her slide on working out tonight because of the incident; however, she should have known better. The hard man didn’t have an inch of leeway in him. Her conscience argued with her over how he had managed to calm her from a full-fledged panic attack.
Grabbing her bag, she followed Shade to the basement and went to get changed. Shade was warming up on the mat when she returned and Lily sank to the mat to begin stretching. Shade watched her before standing up and turning on the music. He hadn’t turned the music on during their previous workouts, so Lily looked at him in question, yet Shade didn’t say anything, moving her into position to begin her defense training. He worked on her kick for several minutes, becoming irritated when she didn’t connect with him.
Lily began to become distracted; the noise from upstairs was loud. She could tell it was a large group of people from the voices filtering down the steps. She could hear the feminine and male laughter. Lily understood now why Shade had turned on the music to try to disguise the noise from upstairs.
“Pay attention, Lily. If you used more strength, we would have been done ten minutes ago and I would be upstairs drinking a cold beer.”
Probably with one of the women by his side, Lily thought, kicking out sharply and managing to catch Shade on the side of his thigh.
“About fucking time.” Shade smiled at her proudly.
Lily was amazed at herself and contrite at the same time. “Did I hurt you?”
“No, Lily, you didn’t hurt me. Next time a dick like Gaige tries to touch your ass again, try that move.”
Lily grinned back. “Okay.”
“We’re done for the day.”
“Thanks, Sir.” Lily was finding it easier to address him as Sir when they worked out.
Going for her bag, she picked it up before she hesitated for a moment, twisting the handle of the bag in her hand. “Thanks for getting me to go get the seeds. I would have just avoided the room.”
“I know. Lily, let’s work on getting rid of the old fears before adding new ones. You’re completely safe at the factory and here.”
“I know that.”
“Good. I’ll see you Sunday.”
“All right.” Lily left with a spring in her step and a smile at her accomplishment. For the first time, she was beginning to feel herself capable of taking control of her physical well-being.
* * *
Lily fielded Beth’s concern when she arrived home. Beth was hesitant to leave her that evening, but Lily assured her she was fine. Actually, for the first time, she was looking forward to some time alone.
After Beth and Razer left, Lily showered and put on her pajamas before going downstairs to watch television. A music show was on and Lily found herself dancing around the living room. Penni would often dance with her when the mood struck Lily to dance, which was something she had never done with a boy. She enjoyed dancing when no one was watching, though.
Lily laughed when she finished one song, spinning herself until she was almost dizzy. She didn’t often let herself go. Her personality was always held in check, so when she finally did, she did it wholeheartedly.
She was getting a drink of water when the doorbell rang, and she looked down at herself, seeing her dark blue fleece pajamas.
Going to the door, she looked out the peephole before answering it. Shade stood there, holding two pizza boxes and a six-pack of beer.
Lily just stood there with her mouth open.
“Move, Lily, before I drop the pizza.”
Unlocking the door, Lily took a step back, letting him enter. Shade came in, setting the pizza and beer on the coffee table.
“What are you doing here?” Lily asked, closing the door before walking barefoot back to the couch.
“I thought you might be hungry.” The smell coming from the boxes was delicious. Lily’s stomach grumbled. “Go grab us a couple of plates.”
She went into the kitchen, getting the plates and her bottled water.
She sat down on the couch as Shade opened the box, putting two slices on her plate. She immediately took a bite of the warm pizza, loving the taste of the melted cheese on her tongue.
Shade put two slices on his own plate and began devouring his. They ate quietly as Lily put a movie on for them to watch. She stiffened when she heard the beer can open, refusing to look his way. Her hand trembled; however, she tried to act as if it was no big deal.
Shade began to talk about the movie they were watching and the two others in the series.
Lily relaxed back into the cushions, but not before taking another slice of pizza. She was full to the brim when she sat her plate back on the table, engrossed in the movie.
Shade had grabbed himself another piece of pizza and she heard another beer open. She crowded herself closer to the side of the couch, not watching as he drank it.
When he finished, he cleaned the table and put the beer in the fridge before relaxing back on the couch. The movie ended and they argued about what to watch next. Lily was through half of the second movie when she dozed off, her head on the side of the couch.
Feeling herself lifted, she was laid next to Shade as he sprawled out on the couch. She smelled the faint odor of beer on his breath and was amazed that she was letting him this close to her. She was simply too sleepy and full to protest his dispassionate hold.
“Go back to sleep.”
Getting up early and her long day had combined to make her doze heavily with her head on his arm. Her taut body was relaxed. Her bottom was against his thighs and his upper body didn’t touch her. Plus, his closeness didn’t set off any of her inner alarms.
She felt safe. The words played softly through her mind. Had she ever felt safe?
When she woke the next morning, Shade was gone and she was lying on her bed, covered in blankets. Lily sat up, confused as to how he had moved her without waking her. She looked at the bedside clock then hurried to the bathroom to shower and dress.
Beth and Razer weren’t back yet, so she made herself a piece of toast and left a note saying she was going to the church.
Rachel was hard at work when she got there, already going through the boxes in the basement.
“Sorry I’m late,” Lily apologized.
“Don’t worry about it,” Rachel replied. Lily liked Rachel and owed her a debt she would never be able to repay. The night the town deputy had tried to kill her and Winter, Lily had run into the woods to escape. Rachel had found her and taken her into her home that she shared with her three brothers who were very protective of their sister.
“How’s Logan doing?” Lily asked about Rachel’s nephew.
“Growing like a weed. He’s going to be as tall as my brothers.”
Lily moved some boxes around, opening them to discover Christmas decorations. The two women divided the boxes into ones they would keep for the church and those that would be given away in the new store. Stacking the boxes that were for the church’s use into the back room, they continued going through the rest until lunchtime.
“Want to grab a bite to eat? I packed lunch for both of us,” Rachel offered.
“I can eat,” Lily said, laying the bags she was sorting to the side. They went outside to eat in the backyard at one of the picnic tables.
“You go back to school in a few weeks, don’t you?” Rachel asked, handing her a sandwich and bag of chips. They had grabbed sodas from the v
ending machine inside.
“Yes.” Lily opened her sandwich, taking a bite.
“You must be looking forward to it being your last semester.”
“Yes and no. Now that Penni’s graduated, I don’t have many friends. I actually have enough credits that I could take my last classes on the internet.”
“You don’t want to go back to school?” Rachel asked in surprise.
“Not really, but I don’t want to put Beth and Razer out by staying. I know it must be hard having me around all the time,” Lily admitted.
“I don’t believe that. I think she would enjoy having you close to home after you were injured so badly.”
“Maybe, I’ll talk to her about it after I make my mind up.”
“Are you going to the fair tonight?” Lily questioned the pretty redhead. They had gone to school together and knew each other well.
“No, we went last night. Logan rode everything twice. Tonight I have someone flying in from Canada.”
Lily whistled. Rachel was becoming renowned for her use of medicinal herbs and her healing touch. Lily didn’t know if she believed in it, yet she was happy the sick found some comfort.
“It must be wonderful to help so many people,” Lily said.
“It is. My grandmother would be proud I’m using her gift to help others.”
“Your grandmother?”
“She was a full-blooded Cherokee, and she taught me everything, from herbal medicine to how to lay my hands. She was an inspiration to me.”
Lily smiled sadly. “It must be wonderful to have that kind of heritage.”
“It is.” Rachel closed her lunch bag. “Do you ever wonder…? Never mind, I shouldn’t ask. It’s none of my business.”
“If I ever am curious about my past?” Lily asked, her hand going to her forehead. “I don’t have to wonder; I know. About my mother at least.” Lily’s hand began to shake.
“Lily, are you all right?” Lily heard the concern in Rachel’s voice.
“Yes. I was adopted when I was eight,” Lily said. “My adopted parents said my mother was killed and my father didn’t want me, so there’s no need to look, is there?”
