by Jami Wagner
“Where are you going?” I ask. I’ve never asked her where she’s going before today. She’s always kept it private, and up until, well, lately, I didn’t care what she didn’t tell me.
Lennox pauses just inside the kitchen, her purse now draped over her shoulder as she spins to face me. “Do you want to come?” she asks.
Holy shit. Did she just invite me to her secret Saturdays?
“To where?” I ask again. If she brings me to meet a guy, I will flip my shit.
“It’s a surprise,” she says. “But totally worth it, I promise.”
The smile on her face hits that spot in my chest again. “All right.”
We grab our coats and are out the door. She might not be avoiding me as much as I thought, but still, something is different, and I hope I’m about to find out what that different is.
***
I was expecting Lennox to drive us somewhere, but instead we walked three blocks and stopped in front of a light brown brick building that takes up a corner lot. There’s a single glass door for the entrance and a few windows above it that rise up four floors.
“Are we at the right place?” I ask.
“Yep.” Lennox pulls the door and holds it open for me. “What’s wrong?” she asks.
“This is how you plan to spend your Saturdays?” I point to the sign. “At a children’s home?”
Of all the things I guessed—solo movie dates, meeting a guy, extra trips to the library, maybe even sneaking off to a strip club—this wasn’t on the list.
Crossing her arms and propping the door open with her foot, she says, “This is how I’ve spent my Saturday afternoons—give or take a sick day here or there—for the last four years, and I don’t plan on quitting anytime soon.”
“Why?” I ask.
My one-word question lights a fire inside her. She steps back outside, letting the door close behind her, and her eyes shine brightly, capturing my gaze. Perhaps I should step back.
“Because, Tripp, some children have parents who don’t want them at all. Some kids would kill to have parents like yours. To have people who love them enough to cut them off in order to teach them a valuable life lesson. You think your life is so damn bad? Try being one of these kids.”
She spins, clearly not waiting on me anymore before she heads inside. Who told her I was cut off? It wasn’t me.
Damn it, Winston!
“Lennox,” I call out, and she pauses. I figured that, eventually, she’d discover my story. I just didn’t think it would make me feel like such an ass.
“For two hours, I get to make someone else smile. I get to make them happy,” she says. “I get to do something for someone who deserves more than this world dealt them. I’m not going to let a hot-headed, spoiled brat of a boy, who thinks everyone owes him something, ruin this for them. I invited you because I thought something in you had changed. Clearly, I was wrong.”
The door closes.
I’m still outside.
I watch through the window as Lennox hugs a woman behind the main desk and then both of them disappear through another door.
I swear, for every step Lennox and I take, one of us does something to take us two steps back. Usually me.
Until my parents cut me off, I thought I was a good person. Yeah, I had more opportunities than most people, but I thought I was nice. But that might not have been the case and how to take care of myself isn’t all I need to learn. The disappointment on Lennox’s face … well, I hadn’t expected for it to make me feel like this. Like I’d failed.
The woman Lennox hugged a few moments ago returns. If I’m going to commit 100 percent to this new me that Lennox sees, now’s my chance.
“Hello,” the woman says from behind the counter. Her smile is big and welcoming. There are wrinkles at the corners of her eyes, and her hair has flecks of gray blending through the brown. “Can I help you?”
“I, um … I came with Lennox.”
Her brows shoot up, and she smiles. “Oh! That’s wonderful. The kids will be so happy.”
“More so than they are when Lennox is here?” I ask.
“Of course. She’s never brought anyone with her.”
I’m the first person she’s ever brought here? And I acted like this place was a joke.
Shit. That’s a stab in the heart.
“Really?”
“Yes, really. I honestly thought she’d never bring someone. Then again, I never thought she’d come back once we released her, but I don’t think I’ve ever met someone as devoted as Lennox.”
“When you released her?” I ask, confused. The woman hands me a clipboard and then turns around, looking for a pen, I assume.
“Huh?” She looks up. The confusion on my face must say it all. I don’t know what she’s talking about.
“Oh, um … we don’t want to keep them waiting,” she adds and turns her focus to some other papers on her desk.
My hand covers my heart. Lennox lived here. Everything she just said to me … she wasn’t just talking about the kids.
I’m a jackass. A royal jackass.
“Okay, sign right here, and I’ll walk you back. They are all probably in the corner library. That’s the prime gathering area when Lennox is here. She is the kids’ favorite. I’m Barb, by the way, and you are …?”
“Tripp.” I reach out to shake her hand. She knocks it out of the way and hugs me.
“The kids are back here,” she says and leads me through the same door she went through with Lennox. Laughter fills the room immediately. There are at least fifteen kids, all of them are sitting in a half circle in front of Lennox.
In one hand Lennox holds a book, and with the other she makes hand gestures as her voice changes with each character.
I can’t take my eyes off of her.
So much about Lennox makes sense right now.
Her gaze meets mine across the room and something inside me breaks. She gives me a small smile and then returns to her book. I grab a seat in the back where I can observe her. I’m instantly pulled into the story, much like the kids on the floor in front of her. Not ten minutes ago she was scolding me outside, and now she’s calm and smiling and the vibe in the room is bouncing off her happiness. Seeing someone putting others before them no matter what is going on in their life firsthand is humbling. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met. Beautiful, smart, selfless.
I wouldn’t mind if she taught me a thing or two about becoming a better person. Shoot, this moment right here is a lesson all on its own.
Another meeting of our eyes causes my heart to speed up. Well, I’ll be darned, Lennox Ashby, calling a truce with you is going to be the best decision I’ve ever made.
Lennox
My hands won’t stop shaking.
Tripp makes me nervous, and especially now that he won’t stop watching me. Just knowing that his gaze is on me, even from across the room, puts my heart in overdrive.
“Thank you for coming today, Lennox.” Amber wraps her small eight-year-old arms around me. I do the same and squeeze tightly, holding back the tears that always threaten when I say my goodbyes to the kids. I want to take them all home with me. I want to show them a good life. A happy life. I know they are well cared for here, but still, this is no place to grow up. I was one of the lucky ones. My two years here are nothing compared to how long others live here.
“Will we see you again?” she asks. Her bottom lip poofs out and the other kids are looking at me with similar expressions, and I swear my heart feels like their small hands won’t stop squeezing until I say yes. Which I will.
“You bet,” I say and give her another hug.
“Are you going to bring …?” She points at Tripp. Her face turns red and she giggles. “Him?” she whispers the last word.
After story time, all the little girls flocked to Tripp. I’ll admit, after watching him play dolls with them, I forgave him for being such a jerk when we got here. He just doesn’t need to know that quite yet. Jumping to conclusions is somet
hing I’m working on, and I should have explained everything before we got here. He wouldn’t have been shocked if I had.
“I might,” I say, winking at her. With more giggles, she runs off to join her friends.
Barb waves from the doorway of the children’s main playroom, so I make my way toward her.
“You’re such an angel to keep coming back,” she says and hugs me again. “And they seem to have taken a liking to your boyfriend, too.”
“Oh, he’s not my boyfriend,” I clarify.
“Oh really?” she says, eyes wide. Tripp, of course, is watching us. “No non-boyfriend of mine ever looked at me like that.”
She turns to leave, but Tripp’s gaze stays locked on mine. He gives me a half smile that almost looks sad before he mouths, “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you,” I mouth back, returning his smile.
Tripp stands and we say goodbye to everyone.
We start to head toward Plum’s for a late lunch, and neither of us says anything for the first block.
“Every day I spend with you, I learn something new, and every time I learn something new, I feel like a jackass all over again,” he finally says.
“At least you’re learning,” I say, nudging his elbow with my own and flashing him a small smile.
“I know. It’s just, I keep learning that because people aren’t exactly like me doesn’t make them bad people, or not as good, or I don’t even know what I’m trying to say.”
“I think I get it,” I say before he rambles on anymore. “I used to think that everyone who wasn’t just like me was doing life wrong. It took a friend like Winston to show me otherwise.”
“I might understand your friendship with him a little better now.”
“He’s a really good guy,” I say. Tripp nods. “But so are you, Tripp; you just show it differently.”
“Eh, I could be better.”
“A little bit, yeah.” He pushes me as we laugh.
He opens the door at Plum’s, and Kass calls out my name. I wave at her as we head to their table.
“What?” I ask, taking the seat next to Tripp. Both Kass and Winston are staring at us if we’re total strangers.
“Don’t what me, what you?” Kass asks.
Tripp and I turn to look at each other. He shrugs and so do I.
“Ugh. Yeah, that,” Kass says pointing between us. “Weird.”
“What exactly are you referring to?” Tripp asks.
“I think she’s in shock that you two seem … friendly,” Winston says.
Again, Tripp and I exchange a look and again we shrug.
“So we get along now. So what?” I ask.
“So why do I feel like we are missing something?” Kass asks.
“Now that you mention it,” Tripp speaks up, “where is Mark?”
Kass’s shoulders slump, and she holds the menu up in front of her face before she says, “He had a thing with his dad.”
“His parents are in town?” Tripp sounds shocked.
Kass shakes her head. “No, they were going to Skype and his father asked specifically if I wouldn’t be present.”
Ah. Now the shoulder slumping makes sense. Mark’s father isn’t the nicest man from what I hear, and he especially doesn’t like that Mark and Kass are still together. From what Kass has told me, Mark’s father sees her as only a distraction and not someone who makes his kid happy.
“It could be worse,” I say.
“How?’ Kass asks.
“Well, his father could actually be here in person.”
All three of them groan.
“She’s got a point,” Tripp says, and Kass groans even louder.
“Mark’s dad still hates me, and you two are even agreeing with each other. Life sucks right now.”
“Hey, we’ve always wanted them to get along,” Winston says.
“Yeah, but I thought there would be more of an adjustment period, like say they were still mean to each other but used nice voices or something to start.”
“We’re still mean to each other,” I say.
“When?” Tripp chimes in. He tilts his head as he waits for my answer.
“Um, right before the children’s home,” I point out.
“You took him to the home?” Winston and Kass say in unison.
Someone would think I just told them I was knocked up by a king, with the bug eyes they’re giving me.
Although, yes, that was a bad example of Tripp and me getting along.
“It was really neat and—”
The moment I reach under the table to squeeze Tripp’s thigh, he stops talking. Which is exactly what I wanted. I’ve never taken anyone with me and the last thing I want is for Tripp to find that out. Plus, now I kind of feel guilty for not inviting Winston or Kass first.
“So, what have you two been up to today?” I ask to change the question. It takes a moment for the hurt expressions on their faces to go away, but we eventually fall into a steady conversation about classes. I move to put my hand back in my lap, but Tripp grabs it before I can and laces his fingers through mine.
Ohmygod.
Just like earlier, my heartbeat cranks up the speed, but I don’t try to take my hand away. In fact, I don’t move it until the food shows up.
“Are we going to the frat party next weekend?” Winston asks once the waitress clears our empty plates.
“Eh, I don’t know,” Tripp says just as I say, “Yes.”
“You really want to go?” he asks me.
I shrug. “Can’t be any worse than the last one.”
Tripp cringes.
“I’m in,” Kass says. “And I’m sure Mark will come too.”
“Count me in as well,” Winston says.
“I might have been thrown off that you two are getting along, but the fact Tripp has clearly influenced you enough to have fun is just fine by me,” Kass says.
Meanwhile, Winston is glaring again. I shake it off; he’ll ask me about it later.
We make quick plans to meet up beforehand, pay our bill, and head home.
When Tripp and I round the corner away from the diner, his hand finds mine again.
I don’t say anything.
“Is this okay?” he asks
His question takes me by surprise, but then again, so does the fact that I don’t second-guess my answer.
“Yes.”
I like the way his hand feels in mine. I like how the simple gesture makes me feel … wanted. Needed.
We walk in silence the remainder of the way. My mind is racing over everything that has happened in the last few weeks, and after the fights, the move-in, the adjustments, and getting along, I know one thing for sure: I’m falling for Tripp McCain and I’m falling fast.
Chapter Nine
Lennox
Before it I know it, it’s Friday and I’m at the frat party with Kass. The boys haven’t shown up yet, and I’m not so sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, I can’t wait for Tripp to get here. I even let Kass do a little extra in the hair and makeup department tonight, but it’s basically been a damn week since he held my hand on the walk home from lunch and he hasn’t done anything remotely close to that since. Nothing. He doesn’t even sit next to me on the couch. It’s been a very unwelcome distraction, wondering if he’ll do something more. I keep telling myself I’d turn him down, but I know it’s a big, fat, stupid lie. I just need to keep repeating it and then eventually it’ll be true. Isn’t that how that works?
“Hello? Earth to Lennox. Are you listening?” Kass asks, waving her hand in front of my eyes.
I nod and take a sip of the water in my hand. Wait a sec … liquid spews from my mouth. “What the—?”
The group of girls in front of us whine about the rain of liquid that just came out of my mouth and then shoot us some dirty looks as they find a new place to stand.
“I knew you weren’t listening. I straight up just told you I switched your water for beer,” Kass clarifies.
I let out a shaky la
ugh. “Oh.” Then I sip the beer and don’t spit it out.
“Now, back to the other thing I was saying. I’m not saying I’m against it, but now that you and Tripp are getting along, I feel like we’re missing something,” Kass says. She’d said something like this that day at the diner. I should reassure her that things very well could go back to the way she’s used to at this rate.
“I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s Tripp. He’ll probably do something to piss me off soon.” Even as I say the words, I hope they aren’t true.
“You’re probably right.” She laughs. “So hey, why’d you want to get all dressed up tonight?”
I shrug. “No reason.”
“Hold up,” Kass says and looks me in the eye. “Convincing you wasn’t hard either … holy shit, do you like someone? Is that why you wanted to come?”
I’m shaking my head but haven’t actually answered yet. I should have said no without hesitation.
“Yeah, Lennox, is that why?” Tripp asks, from behind Kass. His voice is smooth, and his smile almost makes me forget this conversation.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I say and try my best not to smile. It’s just crazy hard to do when Tripp grins at me. His dark jeans and the green polo that hugs his arms and brightens his eyes doesn’t help.
He chuckles, and I can feel my smile widen.
Damn it.
Mark steps up and wraps his arms around Kass. He kisses her hard until she wraps her arms around his neck. Would Tripp ever do that with me? In a crowded room …
What am I thinking? We’ve never even kissed.
“Hey, guess what?” Tripp asks, thankfully distracting my attention.
“What?” I ask, sipping my beer to control my lips.
He waves a phone in front of me. “Guess who went and turned his phone back on all by himself today?”
Okay, so his grin can get better, and I still can’t control mine.
“That’s awesome!” I shout, clapping hand to wrist so as to not spill my drink.
“I know. I wanted to text you or call you right away, but I don’t actually have your number,” he says with a wink.
“Are you asking for it?”
“Maybe,” he says.
