by Jami Wagner
“Cool. I have only one question,” he says, his expression turning serious.
I swallow but nod.
“Why didn’t you think you could tell me?” he asks.
“That’s your only question?” I ask.
“Yep.”
“You don’t want to know why I haven’t had sex or anything else?”
“Nope. I just want to know why you felt you couldn’t come to me about it.”
“Full honesty?” I ask.
He nods. “A hundred percent.”
“I didn’t want you to look at me differently.”
“I wouldn’t—”
“You’re doing it right now.”
He shakes his head and his forehead wrinkles. “I’m not.”
“Yes, you are, because your look used to scream passion and now you’re looking at me like you need to ask permission to touch me.”
He laughs but stops himself. “That’s insane.”
“It’s not. Every day since we first kissed, you couldn’t keep your hands off me. Where are they now?”
“Well, that’s because there is a whole table between us,” he says.
“And usually when we are alone, you move to sit next to me so you can touch me.”
He nods slowly.
“Be honest, Tripp,” I say and wait.
After what feels like hours, he finally says, “All right. Now all I’m thinking is what the hell did I do to end up being the guy you’re considering this with? How the hell did I get this lucky? I’m no saint, you know that, but here I am with you, the smartest, most beautiful, selfless and loving woman I’ve ever met and you’re picking me. It doesn’t make sense.”
This time, I’m the one who moves to sit next to him. I lace my hand with his before I say anything. “It makes perfect sense to me. All those things you said about me are what make you, you. You told me to trust you. Now, you just need to trust yourself.”
Squeezing my hand, Tripp leans in to kiss me.
That went much easier than I thought it would. Maybe telling him about my parents isn’t such a bad idea. I mean, he knows almost everything else about me now.
Tripp
Work is hard to focus on when the only thing I can think about is Lennox. Specifically how sex with Lennox terrifies me. I’ve had sex before. I know what I’m doing, but … fuck … I just don’t want to mess it up for her.
“You working, or are you just standing there to look pretty?” Winston asks, rounding the corner to the free weight sections of the gym where I’m supposed to be stripping machines and putting the weights away. I’d rather be at the children’s home with Lennox, a place I never would have thought twice about visiting, but she makes me question a lot.
I glance past him, but don’t see Mark.
“Working out alone today?” I ask.
“Yeah, Mark had another phone thing with his dad.”
“His father must be up to something,” I say. Mark’s father is like mine. Complete silence until the moment they want something.
“From the bits and pieces I’ve caught, I think his dad wants him to move back to the East Coast.” Winston starts adding the forty-fives that I’d just removed to the leg press.
“I’m guessing that isn’t going over very well,” I say.
“Nope, but anyway, aside from coming here to work out, I wanted to talk to you about Lennox.”
My back stiffens as I focus on the weight bench behind him.
“What about her?”
“Do you really not know who she’s been seeing?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No.”
“How is that even possible when you two live together?”
“It’s possible,” I say. Talking isn’t something we do a whole lot of these days. The thought makes my stomach knot up all over again.
“Well, is her behavior different? She always has the same schedule; what is she doing differently?”
Again, I shake my head. “I don’t know. She’s more relaxed,” I say.
Winston sighs. “I just hope she’s being smart. That girl has been through more heartbreak than anyone I know.”
While he starts to pump out another set on the rack, I take a seat on the nearest bench. I’ve been wanting to ask Lennox more about her family since that first day at the children’s home, but I also want her to come to me about it on her own.
“So,” I start. But I’m not exactly sure how to ask this. “How long were you friends with Lennox before she told you about her family?”
“She told you?” he asks, his voice squeaking with shock.
“No. I just know the small bit the gal from the home told me. I think she thought I knew, but yeah.”
“Have you asked Lennox about it?”
I shake my head. “And ruin how far we’ve come with my curiosity? No.”
“Yeah, that’s probably a smart move.” He laughs. “I’d just wait until she tells you herself.”
I was afraid he’d say that.
Pressing the subject could mean adding more information than Lennox wants him to know, and although I’d like to shout she’s mine from the rooftop, I won’t tell anyone until she’s okay with it.
“Yeah. Good plan.” I push off my seat to find him studying me. “What?”
“I don’t know. It’s weird. You’re like still you, but not. Living with Lennox might have been the best choice you’ve made in years.”
I laugh, but he’s right. He just doesn’t know how great of a choice it really was.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I head back to the front desk. I glance at the clock when I get to the computer and sigh, looking around for something to do. I need to make the next two hours go fast. After that, I’m headed straight for the children’s home.
***
Wyoming weather is odd. I swear it’s the only state that can snow one day and be T-shirt weather the next. Kind of like today. It’s the second week of November, and I’m leaning against the children’s home in a pair of shorts and a light jacket that I’m about to shake off because it’s almost seventy degrees.
My original plan was to join Lennox, but this is her thing, and I don’t want to upset her if I just show up. Putting someone else’s feelings before mine still shocks me. I couldn’t come up with an answer I thought would be the right one, so waiting outside is best.
I twist to look inside the entrance, and see her standing at the counter with the lady I met last time I was here. I don’t remember her name. I had a lot to process that day.
Lennox has on a pair of black and gray leggings with an orange top and black, knee-high boots. Her head is cocked to the side, resting in her hand. The woman must say something funny because Lennox pushes off the counter, letting her head fall back as she laughs.
I smile too.
The woman points to the door. Lennox’s smile widens and she takes a step toward me. The woman is still talking, and she must say something upsetting because Lennox’s steps falter just briefly and her smile drops as she stares at me.
Slowly, she makes her way to the door. Her smile is forced when she steps outside.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
She nods.
Something isn’t okay.
“How were the kids today?”
“Good.”
“That’s good. What did you read today?”
“We decided to start Charlotte’s Web.”
“Bet they enjoyed that one. Maybe you can bring them the movie to watch after you’re done.”
Her lips tug slightly as she eyes me while we walk toward the apartment. “How do you know there is a movie?” she asks.
“Who doesn’t know there is a movie?”
“I don’t know. I just never took you for a Charlotte’s Web kind of guy.”
“There are a lot of things you still don’t know about me,” I say. This could be my opportunity. “Like, say, growing up, my nanny, Amy, made sure I read a new book every week. Amy also had a daughter named Haley, and Haley�
��s favorite book was Charlotte’s Web. When Haley was seven, she went to live with her father. Amy only saw her a handful of times after that. Haley’s dad had money, and Amy was convinced that Haley would have a better life with him. Anyway, each year on Haley’s birthday, I’d watch Charlotte’s Web with Amy. The year I left for college was the last time I saw it.”
Somewhere in my mini story, we stopped walking. When I meet Lennox’s eyes, they are glazed. Pushing to the tips of her toes, she meets her lips to mine. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight, kissing her back.
“Where were your parents?” she asks when she pulls away. “You never mentioned them in that story.”
I nod. “Yeah, they weren’t around much growing up.”
“Why not?”
I shrug. “Too busy attending parties or whatever, I guess. Anything to show their faces and get recognition for something.”
“Oh, Tripp.”
“It’s fine. I’m happy with the way my life has turned out,” I tell her and touch my lips to hers once more. “I’m really enjoying it these days.”
Lennox tilts her head and squints. “You know what?”
“What?”
“I’m really happy with the way my life turned out too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” she says and then starts walking again. “Barb told me she mentioned something about my time at the home. How come you never asked me about it?”
“I figured you’d tell me when you were ready.” I hope I picked the right words. I may have shown up today hoping to get answers, but if she doesn’t want to tell me, she doesn’t have to.
“I spent only a little under two years there. My mom dropped me off, and I have no idea who my father is.”
Wow. I don’t even know what to say.
I wrap my arms around her shoulders and pull her close as we walk.
“I’m sorry, Lennox.”
“Don’t be. I know I’m better off. Besides, her leaving me here wouldn’t have led me to Winston and so on.”
“Your relationship makes much more sense now.” I laugh.
“I bet. He and Kass are the only people who know, and now you.”
“You don’t like to talk about it?”
“Not really.”
“Do you want to keep talking about it?” I ask.
“You know, for once, I sort of do.”
I kiss her forehead. “I know just the place we can go.”
I walk us toward the yogurt shop, and once we’ve built our snacks, she tells me everything. It doesn’t take me long to figure out Lennox Ashby is the strongest person I know.
Chapter Thirteen
Tripp
Waking up with Lennox in my arms is really growing on me. Even if we aren’t having sex … yet. It’s only been a few weeks, but that’s like an eternity to wait.
I pepper kisses along her shoulder to wake her. She has class soon, and I know she’ll be upset if she misses it. Especially since we have to submit another paper for the journalism program in class today.
“Mmm, that is definitely the best way to wake a girl up,” she says, rolling over to face me.
“I could think of other ways, but this one seemed like the safest route.”
Licking her lips and then biting her bottom one, she says, “Maybe we should try one of those riskier routes.”
She has my full attention.
“What do you have in mind?”
“Well, I always wanted to try this,” she says as she shimmies down my body.
God, I’m the only man to ever do this, I swear. I grip her by the shoulders and pull her up. “As much as I would love that”—because I fucking would—“I can’t let you. You know my rule: ladies first.”
Before she can argue with me, I capture her lips with my own. I’m just about to show her exactly what I meant by riskier when my phone goes off. I pause but don’t look.
Lennox laughs as I kiss down her stomach, and I’m just about to press my lips to her hip when her phone goes off again.
“It’s Winston,” she says, and the mood is gone. I lie back next to her and scoop her into my shoulder as she answers the phone.
“Hello … nope … um, yeah, he’s here. Hold on.”
She covers the mouthpiece. “He’s looking for you,” she whispers.
“I’m not here.”
“I just told him you were.”
“What do I say about not answering my phone?” I laugh.
She shrugs and gives me the phone as she crawls out of bed.
I take a deep breath as she leaves my room wearing just my T-shirt.
“What’s up?” I say loudly, hoping I sound chill.
“Why didn’t you answer your phone?” he asks.
“Oh, it must be in my room. I’m in the kitchen,” I lie. I really need to talk to Lennox about this. We need to tell him, especially if we take this any further.
“Cool. Well, hey, Mark and I are headed to breakfast. You should meet us. A seminar thing for one of my classes was moved to tonight, so I’ve got a free morning.”
Breakfast. He called both our phones to invite me to breakfast.
“I’d love to, but I’ve got class,” I say, because let’s face it, the moment is over and I need to eat.
“Damn. Okay. Next time.”
I hang up and am just getting out of bed. Wait a sec … did he just say he’s going to be busy tonight? I’m out my door and down the hall in record time.
I find Lennox in the kitchen, on her computer and drinking her orange juice. “Let’s go on a date tonight.”
“What?” she asks, her face scrunching up in an adorable way.
“You heard me. I want to take you on a date. Tonight.”
“Yeah, but what if Winston—”
“He won’t. He’s busy. He just told me so.”
Lennox laughs. “Did you just predict my next two questions and sum it up in one answer?”
“I might have,” I say. I take the other chair at the table and reach for hers, pulling it toward me until we’re so close Lennox spreads her legs to keep them from being smashed. I scoot forward and grab her hips, tugging her into my lap.
“That was smooth,” she says right before I kiss her.
“Well, I really, really want to take you out in public,” I say between kisses.
“Well, I really, really would like that,” she says, pushing off my lap and standing. “But first, class.”
“Let’s skip and stay in bed all day,” I say. She hesitates; her eyes never leaving mine. “That came out wrong.”
She smiles as a response. “Maybe tomorrow.”
Then she disappears into her room.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Does that mean what I think it means?
The assigned ding for emails chimes from my computer, so I head back to my own room. Tonight needs to be perfect. Normally, I would just wine and dine, but I can’t do that with Lennox. One, she’d be furious if I spent a ton of money on her, and two, I can’t afford the type of dinners I used to.
Actually, I do have that credit card.
I take a seat on my bed and pull my laptop into my lap. I open the email app and pause. There is a new email from my mother. I haven’t spoken to her in weeks. She’s tried a couple times, but I never told her my phone was turned back on since she didn’t seem too concerned that it was ever shut off.
My mood is pretty high right now, so nothing she could say would ruin it. I double click her email.
Tripp,
Your father and I would like for you to come home for the Thanksgiving holiday. Let us know when you are off for break and we will book you a ticket. There are some things we need to discuss.
Thank you,
Mom
I shake my head at the formality. Sounds like she really wants to see me. I don’t have any intentions of going home. I’ll be just fine here with Lennox and my friends. Plus, my parents would probably make some comment about how they had to
buy my ticket or something, and I don’t want that.
I start to type out an email about how I can’t make it, but Amy would love to meet Lennox, and I know Lennox would like her. Lennox opened up to me about her family; I could do that same. Show her where I grew up.
I erase the previous email and type a new one letting Mom know she’ll be buying two tickets this year. I add Lennox’s name.
It’s only after I hit send that the worst crosses my mind. My parents can be evil, but they wouldn’t ruin this, would they?
Lennox
I add a little more hairspray to my curls and stand back to see my full reflection in the mirror. I’m not doing all this for Tripp. I’m doing it for me, and I’d honestly do it more often if it didn’t take so darn long.
“Lennox, are you ready?” Tripp is standing behind my door, waiting for me.
“Almost,” I answer.
“Awesome. Hey, there’s someone at the door.” It sounds like he’s moving to answer it, but then he says, “Lennox, can you get that?”
With a nod at reflection, I glance behind me.
“Lennox!”
Why is he yelling?
“Coming,” I shout as I head out of my room. The knock at the door comes fast, and I look around for Tripp. Where did he go?
The moment I pull the door open, I know the grin on my face is going to be there all night long.
“Wow,” Tripp says, standing on the other side with a book in his hands.
“Wow, yourself,” I tell him. “Picking me up at my door and everything.”
“Well, I wanted it to be a realistic as it could be,” he says and hands me the book. “I thought about getting you flowers, but I remembered you mentioned this book the other night and how you couldn’t wait to read it.”
“Royally Matched by Emma Chase,” I read out loud, and, yep, this grin isn’t going anywhere. He actually remembered the title to a book I simply mentioned once. That was it. “I love it,” I say. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I tug him in for a kiss. His arms snake around my hips as he kisses me back.
“Now I’m really happy I didn’t get you flowers,” he says.
“Me too. I’m pretty sure my thumb skipped the green stage and went straight to black.”
I examine the book in my hands and notice the price on the back. Now, I’m not saying I know how much Tripp makes, but lately, I feel like he hasn’t been budgeting well. Where is he getting the money to go out to eat, buy me gifts, and still manage to pay his bills?
