We Are Always Forever

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We Are Always Forever Page 14

by Campbell, Jamie


  The rustling continued in the distance, just far enough away to make me think I was losing my mind. Just close enough to send goosebumps up and down my arms.

  The sun was going down too quickly. I was racing it to the finish line and doing a terrible job of it. Who was I kidding? We weren’t even in the same league.

  At twilight I had to accept the fact that I wasn’t going to get home. The forest was going to have to be my resting place until the sun decided to face me again.

  I slumped against a tree and closed my mind for only a moment. A cold wind whipped through the limbs of the trees, sending a scattering of leaves to the ground like confetti. It would have been beautiful if they weren’t beaded with rain.

  My ankle was bulging out of my sneaker. I took off my shoe, giving the swelling some relief. Hopefully it would be better by the morning. If I made it that far, it would have to get me all the way back to my apartment.

  In the darkness, as night fell, I couldn’t separate the rustling from the wind to that of my human hunters. Their eyesight couldn’t be better than mine, they couldn’t see me in the dark just like I couldn’t see them. I prayed that alone would keep me safe overnight.

  At some stage I drifted off while leaning against the tree. My dreams were nearly as tormenting as my conscious thoughts. Jet featured largely in all of them.

  I awoke to a stiff and sore body that protested every movement I forced it to make. My ankle was half the size it was when I had last seen it. The burning throbbing was replaced with a dull ache.

  Pushing up to my feet, I tested each of my limbs in turn. None of them were happy about spending the night in an uncomfortable position out in the forest.

  I pulled my coat closer around me, trying to plug all the holes the biting wind could intrude through. It was only mildly effective. It would have to do.

  Ignoring the rumbling of my stomach as it begged for food, I started walking. The rustling followed me but it didn’t seem as bad as the day before. Perhaps the wild kids had given up on me, deemed me not even worthy enough of their time or energy to harm.

  Anything was possible.

  It seemed to take hours to reach the edge of the trees. The sun was almost all the way up in the middle of the sky by the time I emerged.

  I limped down the desolate road and entered the city. I needed to get to my apartment so I could find the details of the ritual before I could do anything. So I headed there, looking forward to the food awaiting me in my kitchen.

  Seeing the apartment building was like seeing a mirage in the desert. The stairs were the painful crash back to reality. I took them one by one, resting to catch my breath only a few times.

  My door beckoned me closer, calling to me like it could wipe away the last few months and all the atrocities that had occurred. It couldn’t, it wouldn’t, but I greeted it like it did.

  A tiny piece of paper was tucked into the doorknob. I went to brush it away, assuming it was just a gift from the wind spiraling down the staircase.

  But it wasn’t a piece of litter.

  It was a note.

  I’m so sorry.

  Three words scrawled on the paper in lead pencil. The words looped together like they were a piece of string carefully arranged to make the message. Like if I pulled on one end they would unravel into a crooked line.

  It didn’t need to be signed for me to know who had written it. There was only one person left in the world who cared enough about me to know where I lived. He had found my home for me, secured me away so I had a safe place in the evil city.

  Jet.

  Even when I was the one in the wrong, he was the one apologizing. Still. Was there anything I could say to him that would stop his endless caring about me? How harsh did I have to be to make him stop? Make him hate me?

  He had nothing to be sorry for.

  I tucked the note into my pocket, securing the lose button on the flap so I wouldn’t lose it. For some reason it felt like I needed to hold onto it. Like it might be the last thing I ever had to remind me how much he loved me.

  The apartment was exactly how I left it. If Jet had let himself in, he didn’t move anything. He didn’t rumple the blankets or take any of my supplies. I doubted he even lit one of the last candles I had.

  I set a can of beans to heat on the camping stove and watched the water bubble as it warmed. Before long the beans all started moving in a graceful dance. I ate them all before they could boil over.

  Next on my to-do list was wrapping my ankle. I tied it with a rag I was using as a makeshift bandage and hoped it would hold. The few things I needed for my ticket to Hell were gathered before I changed my clothes. I left the mud-sodden jeans on the floor, there was no need to be tidy now. It wasn’t like I was coming back.

  It was just after midday when I left the apartment again. I slung the bag containing the ingredients and the ritual instructions over my shoulder. I still had no idea how to kill Kostucha but I would have to figure it out. The time for waiting was over.

  The few ghosts that dared speak to me along the way were silenced when they realized I was in no mood to talk to them. Their incessant chatter was not even on my radar right now.

  I entered the tunnels, amazed at how familiar they now were. Jet’s door was closed when I knocked on it. My breaths were coming in sharp and quick, my nerves scattering around my body like they were on fire.

  I hadn’t prepared a speech, I didn’t know what I was going to say to him. All I knew was that I couldn’t go into Hell without seeing him again.

  One last time.

  To savor for all eternity.

  The door swung open and Jet stood there. His clothes were rumpled, his dark hair even worse. A million shadows were dancing on his face, all telling me he had barely slept.

  “Everly, thank God,” he sighed. His entire body relaxed before returning back to rigid once he remembered where we had left things. His relief had lasted for only a mere few seconds.

  “I’m going into Hell. I’m going to kill Kostucha.” The words tumbled from my mouth before they made it into my head. A waterfall of honesty, cascading down and unable to be taken back.

  I expected anger, perhaps some denial. What I didn’t expect were his next words. “You’d better come in then.”

  He ushered me into his cramped, stuffy room and stood by the bed next to me. Neither of us dared to sit down. Today was a day of action, no rest permitted.

  “Where were you last night?” Jet asked.

  “In the forest.”

  One perfect eyebrow arched in question but he didn’t say anything. He was probably already connecting the dots in his head. To get to Hell I needed to go to the forest first. It wasn’t rocket science.

  I filled in the blanks for him. “I’ve got all the ingredients for the ritual. I’m going to do it today, I’m going to open the portal.”

  “And how are you going to kill Kostucha?” His bottom lip slipped between his teeth where he held it there nervously. His hands moved to his pockets as if he didn’t know what else to do with them.

  “I don’t know yet.”

  “Then wait.”

  My head shook from side to side. “No. No more waiting. It happens today.”

  “Why the rush? Wait until you’re prepared, wait until we’ve figured out all the details. It will be safer, we can-”

  “No. Today. You can’t talk me out of this, Jet. I’m only telling you now because I thought you should know.”

  “Why now? What on earth happened yesterday?”

  I could have walked out the door, I could have kept all the details to myself.

  Could have.

  Perhaps should have.

  But Jet deserved the truth. He had fought alongside me, shown me more tenderness than anyone else in this horrible, harsh world. He didn’t deserve to be treated like everyone else. Because he wasn’t.

  He was special.

  To me.

  So I took a deep breath, one that I would need to get through the c
onversation. I told him everything. It started with the agony the spirits felt, how their pain was intensified now so I feared the demon was growing stronger.

  I told him how I had spent so long after the Event pretending I couldn’t see the ghosts, that I had let them suffer for over a year before Oliver helped me see what I had to do.

  One year.

  Twelve months.

  The shame was written all over my face, felt deep down in my gut. Even though I didn’t realize their pain, it didn’t matter. I should have been helping them. Now was my time for atonement.

  Finally, I finished with the burning fear I had that my sister was one of the spirits with a target on her back. My parents were too, as were everyone else’s. If Kostucha returned from Hell, they would all be consumed by him.

  Their souls would be destroyed.

  Never to rest eternally.

  Jet listened to everything silently, chewing on his lip like it was made out of candy. His eyes grew sadder the longer I spoke, wrinkles marred his forehead.

  When I was out of words, the faint hum of the vents in the distance was all that could be heard. My heart hammered against my ribs, about to shoot right out and explode. Surely it was not healthy having such a thudding heart.

  “So now you know why I have to do this,” I said, even if only to fill the void between us.

  Jet licked his lips as his gaze went to the ceiling. He was measuring all his words again, weighing them in his mind before saying them to make sure they were level, even, safe.

  But I was tired of safe.

  So, so tired.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Just say it,” I ordered. “Whatever you are thinking, just spit it out. I don’t have time to dance around the truth right now.”

  There was no returning from Hell. If Jet didn’t say it now, it would never be heard. For a reason I didn’t want to think about, I really didn’t want those words to be left unsaid.

  “I think you’re crazy,” he finally stated.

  Jet was right.

  But that didn’t change anything.

  He took a step closer to me. “And I think you’re brave. You’re selfless and you’re… amazing.”

  I stood rigid, not even daring to breathe as Jet stopped right in front of me. His body was so close I could feel the warmth radiating from him. From the top of his head to the tips of his toes. We had never been this close outside of sleep before.

  “I’m coming with you,” he whispered.

  “No, I’m going alone.”

  “I want to fight beside you. We’ll do this together.”

  I couldn’t hold his piercing stare. “I’m not coming back, Jet. I don’t even know if there’s a way to return if I do survive Kostucha. They need you here, it’s not your fight.”

  “If it involves you, then it is my fight,” he said with gritty determination clenching his jaw. “We’re doing this together. I want to fight with you.”

  My breath kept catching in my throat, choking me.

  Because I knew nothing I could say or do would stop him from following me.

  And the thought of anything happening to Jet was like someone cutting me open and spilling every ounce of my blood on the floor.

  “Ever, I’m doing this,” he said again, gentler this time.

  I couldn’t stop the tears stinging my eyes as the emotions flooded through me unabated. Everything I had pushed down and tried to pretend didn’t exist arose to the brim and bubbled over.

  God, I loved him.

  I loved every inch of him and I was going to get him killed.

  The smart thing to do was to turn around and leave. To find a way of getting down to the tunnels without him. I could hide or lie, pretend I had changed my mind and sneak down later – perhaps when he was asleep or distracted.

  I was never that smart.

  “Jet, I’m scared,” I whispered, whimpered even.

  “Me too,” he replied.

  And then my brain was completely scrambled. Both of Jet’s hands were cradling my head, tipping my face up to meet his. His lips were on mine, fitting so perfectly I wondered how I had lived seventeen years without having them there.

  His lips.

  God, his lips.

  They were so soft, so tender. His hands had nothing on his lips. How was my heart still able to be contained within my ribs? How was it still managing to beat when it was shuddering like it was about to explode?

  Just in case I was dreaming, I prayed I would never wake up.

  My head was swimming, soaring into the clouds like it weighed nothing. It was only the feel of Jet’s skin on mine that brought me back to reality. I was acutely aware of everywhere he was touching. Every tiny bit of skin his thumb caressed was tingling with a million little lightning bolts.

  I never wanted it to stop.

  But it did.

  We were both breathless. Jet continued to hold my head in his hands even though our lips were parted, gasping for essential oxygen. Our foreheads rested on each other, his breath skimming over my skin.

  “I love you, Ever,” he whispered, like it was a secret we shared.

  “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it,” I warned. The fact we were about to walk into Hell couldn’t escape my notice. People did stupid things if they knew they were about to die. I didn’t want this to be one of them.

  For me, it wasn’t.

  But Jet, I had to confirm.

  “I mean it.”

  Three words said more than three thousand words could.

  “I love you, too,” I replied. I threw my four words out there freely, knowing I meant them with every stupid racing beat of my heart.

  Jet laughed, the sound far more beautiful than any melody. “Do you mean it?”

  My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer so we were hugging. “I’ve never meant anything more strongly before. I’m so sorry I ran away yesterday.”

  “It’s okay, I understand. Now you’ve explained it, I know. Don’t worry about it.”

  I thought he really meant it.

  His arms were where I wanted to stay forever. They were so warm, so safe, so perfect. I belonged here. I should have been here a long time ago.

  But I had no regrets. Because, in its own way, I knew this was the way it was supposed to be. I had to come to this realization myself, being pushed into it would not have worked.

  Jet squeezed me tighter, holding me there like he was trying to merge our bodies into one. I wouldn’t have minded. If we were together as one, nothing could tear us apart. We would never have to suffer the agony of being left alone.

  But that was all just a dream.

  Merely a fleeting fancy.

  I let go and Jet did the same. “I need to go. I have to go kill a demon.” I finished with a smile, thinking how absurd the whole situation was.

  He nodded just once. “Let’s go then.”

  Letting me go, he rifled around under his bed until he came back with two silver daggers, one in each hand. “Where did you get those?”

  Jet stood again, handing me one of the daggers. It felt heavy and cold in my hand. But something else too – reassuring. It felt like I could kill a demon with that blade.

  “You don’t want to know,” he replied.

  He was right about that, too.

  I tucked the dagger underneath my coat just like he did. We were as armed as we were ever going to be.

  And just like that we were on the move. We passed through the long tunnels of the underground. Everyone that threw a greeting at us were thrown one back like it was just an ordinary day. Like we weren’t about to walk into the fight of our lives.

  Jet held the flashlight steady as we passed through the cavern and the last remaining adults. If I killed Kostucha, would they be able to go aboveground again? I guessed I would never know.

  We walked in silence as we delved deeper and deeper into the belly of the earth. Our feet beat a steady rhythm on the dirt below, creating a cloud of ancient dust in our w
ake. It was deathly quiet down here, like the rest of the world was holding its breath.

  Reaching the spot where the portal should be, we faced each other. “Do you remember how to do this?” Jet asked.

  I started pulling the ingredients and the stolen piece of paper torn from a book as old as time. “I have a cheat sheet. Are you sure you want to do this with me? I’ll understand if you want to leave.”

  “No chance, princess.” His grin covered his entire mouth, his teeth too white in the darkness.

  I didn’t even care about the stupid nickname.

  Which was saying something.

  “Let’s do this.”

  We were quicker this time around. We mixed the ingredients, chanted the words, and waited for the magic to happen. Within minutes we had a swirling wind whipping at the stale air around us. It twisted and twirled in a dance that did not care that it wasn’t supposed to be down there acting that way. It didn’t care about logic or reality. The wind whipped, stoked, and whispered to us.

  And then the wall was moving.

  The portal started out so small you could easily miss it if you didn’t know what you were looking for. It was a button of orange, slowly spreading across the compacted dirt of the wall until it was the size of a nickel.

  Then the size of a fist.

  Then a dinner plate.

  Then a hula hoop.

  And then it was so big that it could swallow us whole. Which was exactly what we needed it to do. The fire burning on the ground flickered orange and yellow in the otherwise darkness of the underground. It was warning us, telling us to leave and never come back.

  We should have listened to it.

  I felt a warm hand slide into my own, our fingers twined like they might have done that same action a thousand times before. I looked at Jet one last time, his face shadowed by the glow of the portal. He looked luminous with the neon glow.

  “Last chance to back out,” I said. I ached for him to nod and step back, return up to the tunnels without me. He would be safe then, far away from all the horrors of Hell. Eventually, one day, he would forget all about me.

 

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