“What if you couldn’t tell anyone why you did it and you just looked like a mean jerk?” I asked.
“Hmmm. That’s a tough one,” Dr. Beth said.
I wondered where this lady got her therapy license. Wasn’t she supposed to know what to do in situations like this?
“Seriously? What if everyone hated you because of this one terrible thing you did?” I asked.
“You can’t change what’s already been done,” Dr. Beth said. “But if what you did hurt someone else, you could tell them why you did it.”
“Not happening.” I stood up. “I gotta go.”
I waited for Dr. Beth to try to stop me, but she just shrugged and said, “See you next time, kid.”
I headed back to the bunk with Ainsley, even though I knew no one wanted me there. Being around people who hate me is better than talking about my problems.
When I realized how long the walk was from the therapy cabin to the bunk and then from the bunk to the ropes course, I almost regretted not hanging out longer with Dr. Beth.
I stayed in front of the girls as we headed down yet another dirt trail toward the ropes course. I was beginning to see that this whole camp was made up of dirt trails leading me to things I would never do in real life. I followed the old wooden signs that were nailed into the trees and hoped the ropes course wasn’t as scary as it sounded.
“It’s all about the brackets,” said Isa.
I wondered what they were talking about.
“So, Isa, Poppy, Bea, and I will do the kayak and swim. We just need to figure out which three girls will compete in the ropes and run with Maisy,” said Hannah. “As long as we can get Maisy through her two parts, we can still win this thing.”
I realized this was probably not a good time to tell them I was afraid of heights.
I walked a little faster to get away from them. I followed the path deeper into the woods. Suddenly, the air got cooler under the clumps of gigantic trees and goosebumps popped up all over my arms and legs.
Bea ran over to me and gripped my arm. “We don’t go that way.”
“Of course you don’t.” I stopped in my tracks and rolled my eyes. Bea just had to make me look stupid when all I was doing was following the super old wooden sign that said ROPES COURSE. She is such a control freak. If you don’t do something her way, she’s the queen of making you look like a moron.
“No. Seriously, Maisy. We don’t go that way,” said Isa, her eyes wide.
The girls stood frozen on the path and stared at me like I was standing on top of a zombie pit.
Ainsley shook her head. “You guys are so ridiculous. It’s just an urban legend.”
I scooted to the other girls as fast as I could. “What’s an urban legend?”
Ainsley sighed. “A really long time ago—” she started.
“Back when my Nana Mary went to camp,” cut in Poppy.
“There was this girl,” added Isa.
Ainsley rolled her eyes. “Why don’t you guys just tell the story.”
Isa jumped back in. “There was a camper named Amelia.”
“Like Camp Amelia?” I asked.
Bea nodded. “They changed the name of the camp after she died to honor her.”
“My dad said it was named after Amelia Earhart,” I said. “Because she’s a good role model for adventurous girls. Ugh. I should’ve known he was lying.”
“Nana Mary said a PR person made that up in the nineties, because they didn’t want anyone to know the camp was named after a dead girl,” said Bea.
“A dead girl who still haunts the camp to this very day,” whispered Poppy.
“Did she die on the ropes course?” I asked, hoping the answer was yes, because then Dad would have to pick me up.
Ainsley rolled her eyes. “You guys are so dramatic. She died from a bee sting. She was allergic and they didn’t have EpiPens back then.”
Poppy put her hand over her heart and looked off in the direction I had been headed. “And her spirit roams the woods back here, because that’s where she got stung and died.”
Surprisingly, I am not afraid of ghosts. I’m scared of things that are right in front of me. Elevators I might get stuck in, riding a horse that might throw me off, a top bunk falling on me in my sleep… you get the idea. But I’m not scared of things I can’t see, things that aren’t real. Dad says it’s because I spend so much energy being afraid of real-life things, I don’t have any left to waste on being worried about imaginary stuff. This might be one of the only things he is actually right about.
“Come on, guys. Stop wasting time,” Ainsley said, as she walked away from the haunted woods. Honestly, I would much rather hang out with Amelia the ghost than climb ropes with a crew of girls who hate me.
As soon as we got to the ropes course, Ainsley said, “Everyone get your helmets and harnesses on. Then do safety checks on each other. Bea, you get Maisy set up.”
My usual rule is that if something requires a helmet, I’m not doing it, and yes, I even mean bike riding. Now here I was being forced to do an activity that requires a helmet and a safety harness.
“This should fit.” Bea handed me a bright red helmet. “It’s the smallest size.”
I took the helmet from her without saying thanks. She was just being nice to me because she wanted me to help them win the stupid Cup.
Bea pulled the straps under my chin and clipped them together.
“Ow!” I rubbed my chin where she had pinched the skin.
She smiled at me in that new fake way of hers. “Sorry. You want it tight, so it doesn’t slip off.”
My mind started spinning. If this ropes course was sooooo safe, it wouldn’t really matter if my helmet was loose—would it?
Ainsley walked over to us and tugged at my helmet. “Nice tight fit.”
Seriously, why was everyone so worried about my helmet?
“Since you girls are all certified to belay, you can handle the easy part of the course with Maisy. I’ll wait over at the tough part,” Ainsley said.
She grabbed a helmet off the ground and jogged into the woods. It sucked watching Ainsley leave because she was probably the only person at camp who didn’t hate me.
And what did she mean tough part?
Poppy chattered as she pulled on her helmet. “We all took a rope climbing training course last summer so we can spot the younger kids. You’re in good hands with us.”
Hannah grabbed a helmet. “We’re kind of like lifeguards, but for the ropes course.”
The fact that this sport required lifeguard-type people was not making me feel any better.
Bea clipped on her helmet. “It starts out easy. You climb the tree and then zipline to that other tree down the field. Once you’re on the other side…”
She lost me at zipline. I have no idea what she said after that because the idea of letting go and flying through the air made it hard to breathe.
“Maisy?” Bea held out a piece of rope. “Here, step into the harness.”
The “harness” was really just some looped-together rope. What if Bea hadn’t put the harness together right? What if I fell through one of the leg holes? They didn’t look like they were meant for little people like me.
Bea could still read my mind. “Isa’s just as small as you and she’s never fallen through the harness.”
“I’ll go up with you. Isa will belay for me and Bea will spot you,” Hannah said.
“Great, so my life is literally in Bea’s hands.” I tried to use a jokey tone, but no one laughed, which freaked me out. Did they not laugh because they hated me or because they really thought my life was at stake?
Hannah stood at the base of a tree that had all of these little plastic foot holders nailed into it like a set of stairs. “All you have to do is climb up to the platform. I’ll go first so you can see how easy it is.”
Sporty people think everything’s easy. Hannah tucked her foot into a foothold, then reached up for a plastic thing to hold on to. She flew up the
tree like a squirrel. My brain knew exactly what my body had to do, but my mind was having a big freak-out.
I reached for the first plastic hold, but my hands were so sweaty they slipped right off.
“Wipe your hands off on your shorts, then dip them in the chalk bin.” Bea nodded to the purple chalk bin next to us.
Of course she didn’t think to tell me that before I almost slipped and died.
I stuck my hands in the bin, and a cloud of chalk drifted in my face. I started coughing, but then Bea gave me a look that said, “Don’t be so dramatic.” I took a deep breath and tucked my foot on to the first footrest. I reached my hand high above me and grabbed onto the next plastic thingy. My body was being stretched as far as it could. Don’t look down, don’t look down, I repeated to myself.
Hannah called down, “Great job, Maisy. You can do it!”
I wasn’t fooled by Hannah’s fake cheers. These girls hated me. All they cared about was the stupid Cup.
I reached up again and dragged my foot to the next rung. The whole time I felt like if I slipped or let go, I would go flying down to the ground. But I kept going because I had no choice. If I didn’t at least try, there was no hope for me fitting in here. I wish I was like Bea, who went through every school day with her face buried in a book. She was totally okay ignoring everyone and doing her own thing. I’m not like that. I realized after hanging out with the M & Ms that life is so much better with a squad. Because when I’m alone, I think about things that make me sad.
“You’re doing great!” Poppy screamed from below. “Grab the rung to your left and put your foot on the green one to your right.”
My arms were burning from holding myself up, but I could see the wooden platform getting closer and closer. The quicker I got there, the sooner this whole nightmare would be over.
“Reach up and Hannah will help you!” Isa yelled from below.
As soon as I got to the platform, Hannah pulled me up. I was fine for the first second or two when I was on my hands and knees. But as soon as I stood up, it was over. The platform was smaller than it looked from the ground. If Hannah came any closer, she would probably knock me off and then Bea would mess up belaying me, and I would fall out of this harness that was supposedly not too big for me.
I wrapped my arms around the tree. The bark rubbed against my face as I pressed my body into it and held tight.
The girls cheered from the bottom—even Bea. But I didn’t want to look down because that would mean letting go of the tree.
“You did it!” Hannah yelled. “Next comes the easy part. You just hold on to this bar and zipline to that big tree across the field.”
Hannah squeezed in even closer to me. There’s seriously no such thing as personal space at camp.
I gripped the tree even tighter.
“You have to let go sometime.” Hannah held on to a metal bar with both hands. “I’ll go first, then I’ll shoot the zipline bar back to you.”
“Don’t leave me!” I grabbed the tree tighter even though one of my hands was sticky with sap and the other one was getting a splinter.
Hannah laughed, as if she wasn’t asking me to possibly jump to my own death. “Watch me do it, then you’ll see how easy it is.”
I held on tight to the tree but peeked around my arms.
Hannah wrapped her hands around the bar and jumped off the platform with her knees tucked into her body. She flew across the field, and when she reached the other end, she looked like she was going to crash into the tree but then bounced back.
My hands were even sweatier than before, and, of course, there was no chalk bucket up here. What if I slid off the bar? What if I fell out of my harness? What if Bea dropped me? I would probably drop me if I was her.
“All you have to do is jump!” Isa yelled from below.
As if it were really that easy.
“Come on, Maisy!” yelled Hannah from the other platform, pushing the zipline bar back over to me. “I’m waiting on the other side.”
I pressed my face against the tree and tried to slow down my breathing. What was scarier, ziplining or climbing back down again?
“You can do it, Maisy! You did the hard part already!” Bea shouted from the ground.
I didn’t want to look like a loser in front of Bea, so I loosened my grip on the tree. I inched to the edge of the platform until my toes were sticking over the edge. I wrapped my hands around the zipline bar and gripped as hard as I could. Suddenly, I felt like I was being suffocated, by the helmet, by the rope harness, by my jean shorts.
“I can’t do it!” I dropped the zipline bar and turned away from the edge of the platform and grabbed the tree. I pressed my face against the bark so that the deep grooves mashed into my cheeks.
“Come on, Maisy!” Poppy was trying to sound peppy but only sounded stressed.
Even Bea tried to cheer. “You’ve got this, Maisy. Hannah’s waiting on the other side for you.”
I knew none of them cared about me. They were only worried about the stupid tournament. Like that was the only thing in the world that mattered.
I hugged that tree as if my life depended on it. “I can’t do it!”
Isa called up, “We need you, Maisy! You have to be able to get through the ropes course or we’ll all be disqualified from the tournament.”
I hate letting people see me cry, but I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t even wipe my nose because I was too scared to let go of the tree. I tried to push my words out in between wails. “I… can’t… do… it! Get me down from here!”
“It’s so easy and super safe,” called Hannah from across the field. “You just have to get across so you can see it’s not as bad as you think it is.”
“I already know it’s as bad as I think it is!” I clutched the tree harder. “Please! Bea! You have to get me!”
“Maybe if she stays up there a minute or two, she’ll try the zipline. She just needs to get across to see it’s not that bad,” Isa said.
“Maybe Isa’s right,” said Poppy.
“Please!” I shrieked.
Even though Bea hated me, she was the one who knew me best. The only one who understood how scared I was. The only one who could get me down.
“Bea! You have to help me!” I screamed. “Don’t leave me up here! Bea!!!”
BEA
Maisy’s screams were reverberating off the trees. “Bea!… Bea!… Don’t leave me up here!”
The absolute last thing I wanted to do was rescue Maisy. She did nothing this year to liberate me from my friendless existence at school. Now she wanted me to save her?
Isa’s eyes widened. “Is this girl for real? She’s screaming like there’s a creepy clown killer in the woods.”
Maisy’s voice sounded more desperate with each yell. “Bea! Get me down from here!”
Poppy blocked the sun from her eyes and looked toward the woods where Ainsley was waiting to spot the harder part of the course. “Ainsley must hear this. Right?”
Hannah climbed down from the tree across the field and ran over to us. “Is she for real?”
Maisy was sounding more desperate with each yell. “Bea!… Help me!”
I thought about the day I found out Mom and Dad were getting divorced. I had overheard them talking about their plan to tell me later that day. Maisy’s mom was taking us on a Daisy Girl Scout ice skating trip to Rockefeller Center, and my parents didn’t want to spoil it for me. They wanted me to have one more pre-divorce innocent day and I didn’t have the heart to ruin it for them. So, I hopped in Maisy’s mom’s minivan like everything was normal. I sang along to the radio with Maisy and the other Daisies so no one would detect anything was wrong. But when we got to the city, my stomach was groaning and rumbling and I desperately needed a bathroom. Some people throw up when they get upset; unfortunately, I have issues with my other end.
Maisy stayed with me in the bathroom while the other girls skated with her mom. Maisy, whose favorite thing was skating, hence the scheduled trip cha
peroned by her mother, never even had the opportunity to lace up her skates that day. I told her about my parents’ imminent divorce and Dad’s plan to move to Nyack. I told her all the things I was worried about, like what if I never saw Dad again? What if he forgot all about me when he moved away? What if he got a new family? Maisy didn’t have all the answers that day, but she stayed with me until I got all my questions out.
At the end of the ice skating trip, when the other girls asked where we were, she told everyone she didn’t feel well and I had been keeping her company. Maisy knew how embarrassed I was, and she wanted to protect me, even if it meant the whole Daisy troop thought she was the one trapped on the toilet for the entire trip. She always looked out for me back then, even to her own detriment.
“Bea! Help me! Pleeeeeeease!” Maisy yelled for what felt like the hundredth time.
“I’m coming!” I finally yelled back.
“Hurry!”
When I got to the platform, Maisy was crying so hard I thought she was going to vomit. Her hair was plastered to her tear-covered cheeks and she was holding on to the tree as if her life depended on it. I wanted so badly to leave her there and walk away from her like she had done to me every single school day for the past nine months. But I thought about the old Maisy, the one who had sat on the dirty restroom floor for hours that day at Rockefeller Center. That’s the girl I was helping.
“I’m here now, Maisy. Let’s go back down,” I said.
Maisy clutched the tree so hard, her knuckles were bright white. “I can’t do it.”
I reached out my hand. “I’ve been climbing this tree since first grade. I’ll get you down safely.”
“I can’t.” Maisy grabbed the tree tighter and her voice rose several octaves. “I can’t do it, Bea.”
I knew there was no way Maisy was moving unless she was confident I had her. I wrapped my arms around her in a tight bear hug. I had forgotten how small she was.
“I’ll go down first, then you can come right after. I’ll be with you the whole way,” I said without letting go of her.
Camp Clique Page 5
