by A C Wilds
“Listen Nol, I get what you’re saying, but I’m just not into it. Pete’s is dingy and a total hook up bar. I don’t need to fend off groping hands and small talk my regulars. It’s annoying, and not my idea of a fun Friday night.” I really wish she would just let this go.
“Can you at least do it for me then? Pleeeeassseee! I’ll be your best friend, and I’ll even take you out for food tomorrow. We can drive over to Clearbrook and have a fancy brunch, just like you used to in New York. I’ll even throw in some mimosas and let you wear my favorite lace top. You’ll look amazing and have a belly full of frittata and champagne.”
“First off, you are already my best friend, so no bargaining chip there. Secondly, I’m not in the mood. It’s not my scene.”
“Ugh, Az I need someone to be there with me. I can’t go alone,” she tells me with this pleading look that gets me every time. She looks so vulnerable at this moment. I know she is lonely and is looking for that special someone. She’s making me feel horrible.
“Brunch does sound amazing. We haven’t been to Clearbrook in a while. I could use a good shopping trip too.” I can see the light in her eye flare. She knows she has me. “Ok, you talked me into it. But, if those guys show up that were there last time, and they start with me again, we’re leaving. I don’t want to have to kick that asshole in the balls again for getting handsy. No means no.”
“Totally! I’m with you 100%. Eeek! We’re going to have the best time! Ok, I’m going home to jump in the shower. Hurry up and finish here, and then we can get ready together at home. This is going to be one epic night.”
With that, she is gone like the wind on a spring day. Floating her way down the road like she doesn’t have a care in the world. I wish for one second that I could let myself go like that. Noli is so present, so in the now. She does what she loves and doesn’t apologize for it. I, on the other hand, make a mess of everything and am haunted by my past. I finish up my work, call out to the guys that I am leaving, and grab my bag from the back. It takes five minutes to walk home; another perk of living in our tiny shack. No commute equals no traffic — a definite check in the pro’s column for this town.
2
The Reading
Azra
When I arrive home, Noli is in my bedroom laying out clothes. I notice that some are a bit scandalous, but I figure I’ll let her have her fun for now. Next to them is her tarot deck, but not the one she uses on Friday nights. I’m starting to wonder what I am getting myself into. Even though I’m exhausted and should probably go to bed, the idea of letting my hair down for the night is exhilarating. I haven’t been out since I first moved to Hellebore, and brunch was the perfect excuse to push me over the edge.
“You sure did bring out the big guns for tonight. Are these five-inch heels? There’s no way, in all of creation, that I’m wearing those,” I state, while looking at the perfect black patent leather peep toe heels. They have little cherries painted on the back to add a quirky little flair. I could never walk in them. Seeing as we don’t own a car, I’m not going to pay the price of a broken ankle just to look hot at a dive bar.
“Oh come on! They’re so cute, and you could wear a red top to match the cherries. Here, look at this one,” she says, while holding up a sleeveless V-neck lace red top that will probably cover the girls enough to be decent. I love it.
“I really like that top, so I’ll wear it, but the shoes are a no-go. I am not trying to bust my ass on the pavement for the sake of looking good. I have some cute booties in the back of my closet that will go with that shirt and jeans. Now, let me get in the shower before we run out of time.”
“Fine, but I still think my choice is better,” she says, with a bit of a frown. “Oh, and I think we should do a reading before we go, just to get a feel for what the night is going to be like,” she tells me with hope in her eyes. She knows that I hate participating, but I have learned that going along with Noli’s plans is way easier than objecting.
“If you insist, O’ Magical Mystic!” I sing to her, in my best circus ringleader voice. She answers by throwing a shoe at me, which I artfully dodge.
I chuckle to myself as I walk into the bathroom. It’s a small room with just a shower, sink, and toilet. We don’t have a bathtub, which is disappointing, but at least the water pressure is good enough to get clean. I quickly wash up and towel dry my wavy black hair. It is not as humid out tonight, so I can get away with just a little curl cream and don’t have to blow-dry it. I walk out of the bathroom into the bedroom finding Noli dressed to the nines in a tight black dress with the same cherry heels she tried to convince me to wear. I laugh to myself, knowing that I will have to catch her at some point tonight.
“You look great. Is that dress new?” I ask, while turning toward my outfit to get changed. She nods with a devilish smile and goes back to applying her makeup. She’s finishing up a smokey eye, which looks fantastic against her green emeralds. I’m a bit of a makeup whore. It’s like a mini Sephora store in my bedroom. To say that we spend a lot of money on makeup is an understatement. That store is Disneyland for women like us, and makeup is the first thing that Noli and I bonded over.
“Move over, mirror hog,” I say, as I push her with my hip to get in front of the mirror. If I don’t start now, I’ll never be ready in time. A full face takes a while to get just right. I might as well feel as pretty and as put together as possible since I haven’t had a night out in a long while. Makeup helps me to transform from a lonely looking caterpillar into a confident, colorful butterfly.
“When you're done, meet me in the kitchen. I’m going to start my reading while I’m waiting for you,” she tells me, then sashays herself out of the door. I shake my head and return to making myself look fabulous.
I finish up the last coat of red lipstick and turn to look at myself in the mirror. I look perfectly put together in my black skinny jeans and Noli’s top. My boots make me just the right height, and I will be able to dance all night comfortably in them. I love my body and how strong it is. I may not have a small frame or be tall enough to be a model, but I’m comfortable in who I am. Giving myself one more admiring glance, I turn and go to find Noli.
She’s sitting at the kitchen table with her left elbow on the table and her hand supporting her head, while the right hand is arranging cards. “So, what do they say? Are you meeting Mr. Rich, Famous, and Perfect tonight?” I ask her.
“Not quite. They say that I’ll be meeting someone, or rather two someones, but that I won’t be able to choose from either of them. It’s also not my choice. It’s like they are being put in my path for someone else’s benefit,” she says, while looking at the cards like they’re broken. “I’ve never seen a reading like this before.” She mumbles to herself.
“That’s confusing and not at all helpful,” I tell her. “Want to read mine now, so that we can go? I don’t want to be out too late because someone promised me yummy brunch in the morning, and I don’t want to miss it,” I say, trying to lift her spirits back up. She looks a little defeated right now.
“Yeah, sorry…I just…never mind. Let me cleanse the area so we can start with new energy.” She gets up from the table and grabs a smudge stick that was burning in a dish by the stove. She swirls the smoke around her hands and chants in a language I don’t know. She walks across the room and surrounds me with smoke. By now, I’m used to all the Noli weirdness, so I go with the flow and wait until she is seated in front of me again.
“Place your hand on the deck, and speak your intention,” she states.
I place my hand on the deck she has in front of her. The cards are well worn and look like they are a treasured possession. They remind me of my favorite book that I’ve read hundreds of times. They’re black on one side with detailed hand painted pictures on the other. Noli said she got them from a great-aunt. They were passed down through her family. The original owner had them commissioned by a fairy princess, or something equally laughable.
“I, Azra, wish to know
if my night at the grand watering hole, Pete’s Bar and Grill, will end in laughter, or frustration?” I question, with laughter in my voice the whole time. It took all of me to get it out.
“I see what you’re doing here, Azra, but let me tell you something. The cards know! They always know!” She says with a huge smile on her face, and her index finger pointed to the sky.
We both chuckle as she begins to lay out the spread. She is doing just a three-card spread for past, present, and future. At least this one will be quick. She flips over the past card, and it’s the same card as yesterday. Death. A lot of people think that if the Death card turns up, it means they are going to die, or someone they love will die, but that’s not it. Noli explained it to me once saying, “Death is the symbol of change. One major chapter of your life is going to end to make way for another to begin. For every change we make, a sacrifice must be made. A little piece of you must die for change to occur. The day cannot live on in the night; it must die first and be reborn anew.”
She flips the present card over, and it’s the same. Death. She doesn’t hesitate and flips the future card over, and again its Death. She keeps her eyes glued on the cards like they are going to change. I give her a minute. “Are you finally going to admit to the trick deck?” I ask her.
“It’s not a trick deck, Azra. I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but this isn’t a trick!” She exclaims. She looks distraught, like this means something.
“Nol, it’s just a fun thing we do sometimes. If you say it’s not a trick deck, I believe you — no need to get all serious on me. We have a night of debauchery awaiting us,” I declare. I’m trying to keep my voice light and upbeat for her. I don’t want her to be upset by a little game.
“You’re right. I’m sorry this keeps happening. I’m going to get to the bottom of it. Trust me,” she replies, looking at me with a bit of concern in her eyes.
I lean in and give her a quick squeeze before I grab my bag and walk toward the door. Noli leaves all the materials on the table and grabs her bag. Pete’s is only about a ten-minute walk up the road, so it doesn’t take us too long to get there. The place is packed with locals, as this is the only bar in town. The music is playing, and the crowd is having a good time. Noli and I walk up to the bar and order a couple of drinks. I get a Cosmo, and Noli gets a Sex on the Beach. Cosmo’s are so 2000’s, but they taste too damn good. I’m not ashamed to like a pink drink.
Walking over to the dance floor, we find a spot open enough to dance freely. The music is fast and every bit the modern dance mix from the radio. I don’t even know if Pete’s has a DJ, or if this is just some mix they got off of Spotify. Swaying my hips to the music, I feel the beat in my soul. I’ve always loved dancing and how my body responds so well to the notes. If I close my eyes, I could pretend I’m somewhere else and get lost in the sound. Noli busts out her sexy dance moves, and before long, two of the single guys in town are trying to dance with us. She makes all the right moves grinding against each of them. You can see there’s a bit of a competition brewing. They both look really into her and are vying for who will take her home. Little do they know, that disappointment awaits them because Noli doesn’t take anyone home. Not that she’s a prude, but small towns equal a lot of gossip, and gossip isn’t good for business. You can’t fuck one guy and then another, and expect their mothers to be ok with it, and mothers make up the bulk of Noli’s customers.
Noli isn’t the only one getting attention. I refuse the first couple of guys because it’s
weird for me to dance with customers from the diner, but then one guy catches my eye. You can tell he’s not from here. He’s tall and muscular like a football player, a quarterback though, not a linebacker. He has dark brown hair that’s a little too long in the front and looks like he missed his last cut. His face is strong and determined, and he’s staring at me like I’m the last glass of water in a drought. My pulse picks up, but I quickly turn around before he can notice my interest. I can’t allow myself to look at guys like this one. He screams heartbreaker.
My interest must have gone unnoticed because when I turn back around, he’s gone. I feel a sense of relief and then a pang of emptiness. I wonder if I will ever heal from New York and take a chance on love again. Two years is a long time to be bitter, but when your boyfriend of three years is banging some redhead over the coffee table you picked out together, a little piece of your soul dies. I trusted Sean with my whole everything. He saved me from a life of loneliness and grief. He showed me what it is to love and be loved. I could clearly picture our future together. We’d get married and have two kids. Maybe buy a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, and get a dog. We were good together; always finishing each other’s sentences, and knowing when the other needed a snuggle. He hurt me, broke me. It turns out that I was naive, and he was an asshole.
Coming home from the Winter Equestrian Festival early was a disappointment of a lifetime, but finding Sean with that girl was soul crushing. In New York, I was a champion show jumper. It’s what I lived and breathed for. My horse that year tore a ligament after the second month in Florida, so I flew back early. I was full of grief and sorrow because my one chance at showing the equestrian world what I was made of was blown. I needed Sean that day to comfort me, but he was too busy buried inside some random chick. I remember walking in on them having sex in my living room. I didn’t even get to put my bags down, when I was slammed with the image of them in a heated and frenzied tryst. My voice was lodged in my throat, my palms were sweaty, and there was a stabbing pain that went from my stomach to my chest. I was hot and cold all over and nauseous in an instant. My whole world shattered. He was my life, and all that’s left now is a cavernous hollowed shell of a woman I once was.
I packed up that night and left the next day without speaking a word to Sean. Not knowing where I was going, I bought the first bus ticket out of Penn station and just kept going until I couldn’t go anymore. I ended up in a hotel in Hellebore and got the job at Manny’s. Noli was in the diner that day and asked if I had found a place to live yet. When I told her I was still looking, she asked me to move in, and the rest is history. I had a good life in New York, but this life is quiet and normal, I am dying inside. I haven’t been on a horse in two years. I haven’t smelled all that wonderful musty horse barn air in so long. Looking back, maybe I shouldn’t have left in such a rush, but it felt like my world just ended, and I couldn’t breathe. Escape was my only option.
I pull myself from this horrible chain of thoughts and notice Noli is cornered in an argument between the two men she was dancing with. I think about the reading she did, and the guys she mentioned. The cards are only a game, so this is just some silly coincidence. I’m standing a few feet away,so I can’t hear them over the loud music, but I see the big burly guy on her right pull something shiny out of his pocket. His face is scrunched in anger, and he looks like he’s going to flip out. The short, stocky guy on her left takes a step forward, putting Noli in the middle of the two men. This is making me nervous. As I’m walking over to grab her away from them, burly guy flings his arm back and opens a knife in his grasp. I stop in shock. Noli doesn’t notice it, and a scream passes my lips to warn her. It’s as if I’m watching a movie in slow motion. The knife is flung from his hand and is slowly flying toward her. My Cosmo slips from my hands, and crashes on the floor as my arms fly up in front of me into a stopping motion. I start to run straight at her to pull her out of the way, when I notice no one is moving. Not a single person or object is in motion. It’s almost like they are frozen in time. I look around, and all the people are stuck. There’s a guy next to me who is in mid-trip, his beer is cascading in an arc toward the floor. Each droplet stranded in time. His face is contorted in surprise, and his hands are bracing for the fall, but it never comes. I feel like I’m in a dive bar version of The Matrix.
How is this happening? Who is doing this? I turn around in a circle looking for movement, or any indication that someone is doing this,
but no one is moving except me. Then I see it, the knife is inches from Noli’s heart. I rush over to reach her, wasting no more time. I pluck it out of the air, and throw it to the floor. Before I can examine the scene more, or think about what just could have happened, everything starts back up again. The pulsing music is so intense that I double over from the ear crushing pain. I glance up at Noli and see she is no longer paying attention to the two idiots, who are now looking around confused. Her eyes are all on me. The thought suddenly occurs to me that I am the one who did this. I somehow hit a virtual pause button in the space-time continuum, and I have no idea how the fuck I did that.
Security guards come barreling over and grab the two men by their necks and escort them out. She doesn’t even notice that they leave. I don’t even want to think what would have happened if I hadn’t stopped time, or whatever it is that I did. I’m dizzy, and my stomach doesn’t feel quite right.
