She did a lot for me. A lot that she didn’t have to do, but she did. She didn’t just adopt my son. I was being put into the foster care system since I had no family left, and Sherry just couldn’t let that happen. She adopted me, and my son, Wyatt, as well. I wasn’t Wyatt’s mother. I’ve been his sister since the day he was born. The day I turned seventeen I told Sherry I needed to leave. She didn’t argue with me, she just did anything that a normal mom would have done – she hugged me and wished me well. I stayed away for a little over two years, which is when I met Darius.
He helped me with connections, even helping me get a job at the biggest biker bar in Tennessee, which is where I met Reed the first time, as Jenna. He had no idea who I was, and that was the plan. I’d done a lot of work to transform myself, aesthetically the only thing I did was add a nose and a Monroe piercing, as well as the numerous tattoos that riddled my body. The only place that isn’t covered is my chest.
In the beginning, I worried about if he would recognize me, but I knew that he wouldn’t. I was thirteen when I vanished from the Skulls Renegade MC. You change a lot over your childhood. I barely had any boobs when I was a kid, and now I’ve got natural DD’s. I dye my hair jet black every month like clockwork, and I even wear hazel colored contacts – but that’s because I actually need them to see. I’m blind as a bat without them.
There’s only one thing I hate about this all. I can’t see my son. He has no idea I’m his birth mother. He just thinks that I’m his big sister. You have no idea how much that hurts me, to know he’s my flesh and blood and not be able to have that mother/son relationship that I crave so badly.
I hate Will Michaels. My hate runs deep within my veins. I pray for the day I can finally end him. I’ve dreamed about it numerous ways. I wonder if I’d do the same that he did to my father. Or maybe even what he did to me. I’ve had plenty of time to think about it all these years. I think that when the day finally comes, I’ll know exactly what I need to do. My revenge will be bloody, but boy, it will be oh so sweet.
“Jen!” Maria whisper yells over to me, waving her hands in the air.
“Jesus. Do you have to be so dramatic all the damn time?”
“You won’t believe what I just overheard.” She waggles her eyebrows at me. I walk over to the end of the bar where Maria is wiping down glasses.
“You gonna tell me or keep that big yapper of yours shut?”
“You know the blonde girl? The one who was drugged, and we couldn’t figure out why?” I nod at Maria’s questions. There was a blonde girl that we pulled out from the shipping container, she’d had some sort of IV inside of her for god knows how long. We don’t know exactly what it was. I’m just glad she didn’t die and she survived through whatever was going inside of her. We took the IV out, and a few days later, she returned to her normal self.
She’s quiet, but seems okay.
“Yeah. Ksenia.” I say her name, having to remember that the K is silent.
“Sen-ya,” Maria repeats, nodding her head.
“What about her? What did you overhear?”
Maria takes a step closer to me, glancing around closely to make sure no one was paying attention to whatever she was about to say. “I overheard a couple of the girls asking her why Katya would drug her.”
I don’t understand. If she was fighting it makes sense why she would’ve been drugged. It would be needed.
“The girls can’t understand why Katya’s sister is here with us,” Maria says.
Holy Shit.
My jaw drops.
Dmitri’s little sister is in our club.
CHAPTER 8
Tell me everything terrible thing you did, and let me love you anyway.
-Anonymous
Dmitri
A few minutes after Jenna left, I was called into Reed’s personal office. It’s been three hours, and we’re still discussing Sergei Kolosov. I would have recognized the man, even as a young boy, I would have known him. He was probably one of the men my father would have done business with. I can’t say that I remember too much about my father, but what I will remember is that he was a decent man. A man who was taken away too soon. Not a man like Sergei.
It was a shame, really. In Russia, things operate differently. Things were made personal amongst the street gangs and the bratva. It would always be this way. I doubt things will ever change. Especially with my uncle, Valentin, at the head of the Russian Bratva, otherwise known as the Mafia.
My grandfather and uncle had always made things personal, even when they didn’t have to be. They took things to a personal level, and this made them dirty, bad leaders. It also made them stupid. Any time there would be an uproar amongst the street gangs, my grandfather would snap his fingers. In that exact moment, his muscle would be going to whoever was opposing him, barge into their home, and kill someone they cared about. They used fear to instill their power upon the people. It worked for them however in my opinion it was the wrong way to lead. I knew firsthand what it was like to be around someone who ruled through fear, that was my entire time with Jimmy and the Vipers MC.
I was never around my grandfather that much. My mother was his secret child, or rather, a bastard. The terminology is hundreds of years old, yet, the bratva still insists on using it. I never did know what happened to her mother. I just knew that she was of a very low social standing. So low that my grandfather didn’t want her around.
I often wonder if my grandmother was like one of these girls that we pulled out of the containers. If she was scared, abused, and broken. It wouldn’t have surprised me if my grandfather had liked to test the product he was shipping. He could have raped the girl and then discovered thereafter that she was pregnant, stealing my mother out of her arms. The possibilities are endless.
“Sergei is eager for another shipment of women. If you wait too long, he’ll get antsy, and none of us want that. We need to strike now while the iron is still hot.” Elena is going on and on. I’ve been half listening to her for the past twenty minutes. The girl has a fire lit under her ass. She wants to save as many girls as possible. I don’t blame her for it. She’s always had a good heart, but there is a time and a place. Right now, we can’t provide for the number of women that Sergei wants us to.
“We don’t have the room, babe. I’m sorry. We just can’t make another deal right now. We don’t even have enough room for the girls that we bought from the last shipment. The cabins aren’t finished, and the club girls are bunking up with the guys until they do get finished. Adding to the workload and stress isn’t going to help anyone.”
“Stop being an ass and set up a meet. Those women need us. Are you going to be the one bargaining their lives because we ‘don’t have room’? No. We’re setting something up and getting more women out of that monster’s hands before he has a second to sell them to someone else. Get it done Reed,” Elena snaps at him, practically spitting in his face before she storms through his office doors. He takes a step back, collapsing back onto the couch behind him.
“They say marriage is easy,” he huffs, laughing softly.
“Don’t know where you heard that. Marriage is never easy.”
Reed taps his fingers along the leather arm of the couch he’s seated on. We’re both silent for a few moments before he finally begins to speak up. “She thinks I’m a monster because I know that we don’t have the resources to care for these additional women. Does she think I don’t care? That I don’t want to get them away from the possibilities that are out there? We know what men like Sergei do to these women. If anything, I want to get them out. I just can’t endanger the lives of the members of this club or the women we already have by caring for more than we’re capable of handling. We need another location. We need so much shit it isn’t even fuckin’ funny, and worrying about Kyle’s damn case while Elena’s breathing fire up my ass isn’t helping anyone.”
“Elena has always cared about everyone. I remember how she was when she was a child, even at the Vipers’ compound
she always found a way to radiate her compassion to everyone around her. I grew up alongside that girl. She’s my family, you know? I may only be a few years older than her, but it seems I learned a lot from her, even as a child. Her passion of helping people fuels her. It’s one of the reasons she left; she wanted to help people. All Jimmy wanted for her was to be my whore, he wanted to turn her into the most feared woman in the area. He wanted to break her spirit, just like he broke her mother’s. But Elena, she would never allow that to happen. So, we got her out. The happiest day of my life was when that girl ran away.” There’s much more to Elena and my story. I doubt she’ll ever open up to Reed about everything that we got each other through in our time with her father.
“Jesus, Dmitri. You sound like you’re in love with my wife.”
“No. I’ve never been in love with that girl. Do I love her? Yes. She’s my family.” Everything I say to him is true. I’ve loved Elena since the moment I was taken to Jimmy’s. That little girl with those big doe eyes told me that everything would be okay. I think I knew then that it actually wouldn’t be. It would just be better because I wasn’t alone. I’ve done a lot for Elena, and I don’t regret any of it.
Reed and I take a few moments to ourselves. He begins tapping away on his phone and grunting, telling me that something has obviously come up. “It’s Fist. He’s tellin’ me there’s some trouble stirrin’ up with him and the Bears.”
Fist is the Prez of one of our biggest allies, The Reapers. They’re located up in Montana and have one of the biggest clubs in the United States with just one chapter, which is almost unheard of. They do business a bit differently than we do, running drugs and the like, but somehow, they still maintain their good morals – which is why Reed respects them.
We’re pretty squeaky clean since Elena married Reed. Hell, even before then I noticed changes.
“What’s going on with them and the Bears?”
“Fuckin’ Ash. His only daughter, she just came back home a few weeks ago. Her damn husband beat her within two inches of her damn life, forcing a miscarriage in the process. He’s telling me that the Bears have recently acquired a new member, Harry, Ashley’s husband. Also known as the soon to be dead man. Fist is givin’ us some word that shit might go south and he might need some reinforcements for a little bit. Looks like hunting season has started.”
“You say the word, and we end him. I like Fist. You need me to go end this scum’s life?” I look to Reed, my Prez. We’re not close by any means, but there’s not anything I hate more than a man who beats on a woman. It lights a fire deep inside me. It makes me want to destroy them. And I will. I’ll fuckin’ destroy this man. I just need a nod from Reed, and I’ll be on my way to freeze-your-balls-off Montana.
“No. I need you here. We’ve got a lot of …” Reed’s mid-sentence when the door to his office comes flying open. My eyes meet with the most beautiful orbs I’ve ever seen. Only, they aren’t filled with life like they usually are. She looks like she’s in shock.
“Jenna?” I inquire, saying her name softly.
“I. Uh. I have to. Well. There’s something that I need to…” She begins to stutter over her words, eyes darting back from Reed to the floor. The girl won’t even look at me in the eyes.
“What the fuck, Jen? You know better than to come into here like that!” Reed snaps at her. I want to clock him in his face for speaking to her this way, but I won’t. I have no right to. Even if he is being an ass to what’s mine.
“I’m sorry. I know better, I just found…I found something out that I think Dmitri needs to know.” She finally meets her eyes with mine. I look into her eyes, searching for some sort of answer on why she’s so riled up, on what could possibly have my girl turning into this sputtering, nervous wreck.
“Ksenia is here.” I know the girl she’s speaking of. She was the one who had a needle in her arm when we pulled her from the container.
“I know. She seems to be doing well, right?” I ask, worried that something has happened to the girl.
Jenna crosses the office, walking straight towards me. She takes my hands in hers and rubs them softly, not looking up at me until she speaks. “No. Dmitri, you aren’t understanding me… Ksenia. Your sister, Ksenia, is here. She’s the one we pulled out of the container. Ksenia is your sister.”
***
Jenna told me some very surprising news a couple hours ago. I didn’t believe it. I had no reason to believe it. I knew Katya was alive, I saw her in the flesh a few weeks ago, but Ksenia? Why wouldn’t Katya tell me that she was in the container? What reasoning would she have to keep this information from me? Why did it take this long for us to understand that my youngest sister was right under my nose this entire time? I had so many questions, and yet, no answers.
Jenna did a good job at explaining what Maria overheard. I made it a point to instruct Maria to bring a few of the Russian girls over to the club so I could speak with them. My Russian is very rusty. I haven’t spoken much of it since I was a child, but I heard what the girls had said. It was all truth. I wouldn’t approach the girl until I believed she could be my sister. There were certain things my sister would know. Honestly, I don’t know if Ksenia would remember much. She was so young when….I left.
I use the word left loosely. I was taken, sold. My mother was terrified after my father was killed. She used me as a bargaining chip for her and my sister’s lives. I was a child, too young to understand what was happening to me. She sold me to horrible men to try to save them. In the end, it didn’t matter because somehow, Katya and Ksenia ended up with Sergei Kolosov.
They ended up with a monster. I don’t know who is worse, Rafael Ramirez or Sergei Kolosov.
I reflect a lot on what my mother’s actions brought to me in life. As a child, I hated her for what she did. As an adult, I understood what she was trying to do. It didn’t end up well for her, no matter what she did – she failed.
“Brat. Take care of the weak little dove.” I remember the words Katya spoke to me on repeat. It’s replaying over and over again in my mind. She was telling me then. She was fucking telling me that Ksenia was with us, and I was too dumb to notice.
Little dove.
Malen’kiy golub.
We called Ksenia our little dove from the moment she was a baby. So fragile and weak our mother always told us, so delicate. Ksenia, our little dove.
Why did you do this Katya? Why?
I pull myself away from the thoughts of Katya and bring myself back to the reality. My younger sister is with us, she is safe. This is good news. It’s nearing the end of the day now, and I am exhausted. I have no energy to meet my sister today, if that’s even what I can call it. I need to rest, to have a clear head, and then I will see her tomorrow.
I pull myself out of the living room, ignoring the chaos that’s going around me with the brothers playing pool, drinking beers, and a few feeling up some of the whores on their laps. There’s one place I want to be right now, and it’s not in this damn clubhouse. I walk further until I reach the clubhouse doors, pushing my way through them, I break out into the dark Tennessee sky. It’s peaceful out here, you’d never know there’s a ruckus going on inside.
“I’m sorry that I sprung that on you the way I did. I probably could’ve said that a little…easier.” I look to my right, seeing Jenna sitting on a picnic table with a cigarette between her lips.
“It was fine, kotenok.” I make my way over to her, popping up on the picnic table, entrapping her between my legs and wrapping my arms around her. I rub her leg gently, taking the cigarette from her mouth, placing it on my lips until I feel satisfied with the drag.
“Nothing about what happened today is fine. You know that. I know that. You just found out your sister has been at the club this whole fuckin’ time, and you didn’t know. A sister you haven’t seen in years! I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. I just can’t imagine any of it…” I listen to her voice wavering, the emotion that spills from her. She’s s
weet, but she’s also wildfire.
“Kotenok, ssshhh,” I whisper against the back of her head. “I am fine. I assure you.”
“You aren’t fine. Stop saying that. I do want to know, though, is there anything I can do to make it better?”
I chuckle at her question. “There’s one thing that can make everything better for me right now.”
“What’s that?” Jenna turns her body, looking right into my eyes. I can somehow make out hers, only, they look different. They aren’t hazel anymore. I think my eyes are tricking me. I did have quite a bit to drink tonight. I figured that drinking would settle me, would relax me. Instead, it made me think.
“I want you to stop fighting me. Accept that you belong to me. Understand that you are my woman, that you are committed to me.”
“Dmitri,” She laughs, shaking her head as she pushes at my chest. She thinks I’m kidding. I know this.
“No, little one. You accept this, now. You belong to me.”
“You don’t want me,” she mutters, turning her head back towards the star filled sky.
“Da. I do. I want you more than I’ve wanted anyone in my entire life. Why won’t you accept it, this pull that we have towards each other? You’re not dumb. I know you feel it too.”
“You don’t understand, Dmitri.” She hops off the picnic table and faces me, rubbing her hands over her arms. “I’m fucked up. You. Don’t. Want. Me.”
I laugh at her. I don’t mean to do it, but I do. If I didn’t want her, I wouldn’t be doing this. I follow her lead, hopping off the table, I grab the back of her hair with my hand, holding it firm in a fist. A move that I so desperately love with her.
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