“I guess I don’t really know what to say. They aren’t bad. Slash is really funny, sometimes he’s a dick – but he’s funny…and Butch is-” I pause, trying to think of how to explain what Butch is.
“Obviously, the one you’ve slept with,” Rocky mutters, rubbing his jaw, grinning like the bird who caught the canary. I punch him square in the arm, and he laughs. “I knew it.”
“He’s nice and is full of surprises.”
“Hmm. Like the many sexual fetishes he has?”
I smack Rocky’s arm, “No, like how nice he is. I actually like him.”
“Let me get this straight. You, the girl who declared she would never go for another ‘bad boy’ likes the muscle that your half-sister sent to watch over you?” Rocky holds his straight face for a few moments longer than I thought he would. He’s right. I swore after Zac that I’d never go for another ‘bad boy’ again, and here I am liking who is most likely the epitome of the term ‘bad boy’. Isn’t it funny how that worked out?
“I know. I sound like an idiot.”
“No, you don’t. You’re human, Bell. We all like people that we probably shouldn’t. I’ve seen the guy a bit and talked to him once, he seems alright, but there’s no denying that being with him is playing with fire; it’s dangerous.”
I think about what Rocky has just said for a long time. He isn’t wrong. There is no denying that Butch is dangerous, but there’s also no denying that my sister is either. What’s the difference? Oh, wait. There isn’t one. I don’t have to think about it long to know that I don’t care if danger is involved. To me, he’s worth the risk.
It’s right now, right here in this very moment where I realize that even though Butch and I have only known each other a short amount of time, the only thing I want to do is see where this leads. I’m not talking about settling down and marrying the guy. I just want to give us a chance, and a good one at that.
The only thing I have to do now is telling him, and that’s going to be the trickiest part of it all.
***
Time flew by and the next thing I knew it was just a few moments before I was due onstage. My mics were secured, my outfit was flawless, and I feel like I’m on top of the world. There are two things that happen right before I’m about to go on. I’m either riddled with a confidence boost that other performers would kill for, or I’m the complete opposite and turn into such an emotional, nervous wreck. The only way I can calm myself enough to go onstage at that point is to take a couple shots of Fireball Whiskey, and boy does that help!
It’s a few days before Halloween, and the temperature is almost perfect. It’s a little cloudy with a slight gust of wind, stopping in at about sixty-five degrees. I couldn’t ask for better weather to perform in. I take a quick peek through the curtain and can see the stadium riddled with fans. These are the kind of shows that I absolutely adore, where I can feel their excited energy. It just makes me that more pumped to put on a show and sing for them.
Earlier in the day, I make the decision to change up my set a little bit. I have five songs that I sing every time I open for The Stones, they’re usually the same and pre-approved by both Evie and the band depending on the city we’re playing in. Tonight, I told Jase that I wanted to do a cover of “Do What U Want,” by Lady Gaga. We’ve sung a lot of duets together, but pop isn’t really his thing. I thought he’d fight me tooth and nail on it, but he didn’t; he gave in immediately and made me thrilled to be doing something different. Everything else was the same, I’d sing my normal four, and then we’d close out with the cover. It was set, and boy did it feel perfect.
My music was my cue, and I lit it up, running out on stage and hyping the crowd up as I did every night. I’d performed in Baltimore one time previously, but not at this venue. The last time I was here I had a great time, the people were so lovely and supportive, and I’m not shocked by how they’re treating me tonight – it’s almost exactly the same, if not better.
I sing my heart out, starting them off slow with a grueling break up melody that I wrote after Zac broke my heart. Then, to a song that I wrote about growth and moving on, with every song that I sing there is a meaning behind it. Behind every song that I cover and every song that I write, there is always some hidden message. Not everyone worked that way, but it’s how I do.
When Jase comes out onstage, he is unannounced, and the crowd goes wild, screaming and hollering. The Stones were crazy famous, but there was no denying that the fans had this special sort of bond with Jase, their front man.
Jase walks over to me and gives me a half hug, kissing the top of my temple, then runs out to the front of the stage, hyping up the crowd even further. I did a pretty good job myself, but this was something else entirely. It’s like he knows exactly what to say to make them go insane. One day I hope to be able to steal some words of wisdom from his book.
He tells them that we were doing something different, something that we had never ever done before, a song that he hadn’t even rehearsed and was sure that he was going to mess up. Hearing the women in the crowd disagree with him is hysterical, and good old Jase, he just smirks and accepts defeat. There was never any song that he could mess up, anyone who had heard him sing would know that.
The music for “Do What U Want” blasts through the speakers, and we both hit every lyric, it is fun, enthralling, and completely exhilarating. The more that I thought about it…the more that I realized I wanted to sing this song because of one person – Butch.
Let’s be honest, he can do whatever he wants to my body.
The fans ate up our performance, and just as Jase and I are waiting to hear the background to our next song, we hear over the speakers that there is a special guest coming to sing with me tonight. I look to Jase, and Jase looks back to me, confused as all h-e-double hockey sticks.
There were no plans for me to be singing with anyone else but him, and if there was…Evie would have surely told me about it.
Jase offers the crowd a smile, walks over to me and whispers in my ear “I’m going to find out what’s going on, okay? Keep them pumped up.”
I nod to him as he jogs off back stage.
He’s gone for maybe a couple of minutes as I’m talking to the crowd, telling them how thankful we are to be here tonight and adding that a few of them may see us in the bars downtown, ‘because we’ve heard how great they are.
It’s right as I’m really getting comfortable with talking to them that the music comes back on, the introduction to a song that I’ve only ever sung with one person, a song that I haven’t sung in a while.
Like a ghost is haunting me, I hear his voice. It sends chills down my spine, and anger courses through every vein in my small body. I have never felt rage so fierce and steady, and yet here it is, all bundled up for the person who somehow managed to get himself on this stage with me.
I calmly turn around, knowing who I’ll see when I look, and just like that, I’ve come face to face with none other than Zac Depp, my ex-boyfriend from the depths of Hell.
CHAPTER 18
Sometimes you have to give people a taste of their own medicine.
-4uquotes.com
Butch
“How the fuck did he get on stage?” I hear the roaring voice of Rocky which causes me to re-direct my immediate attention. Slash and I can’t have our eyes exactly on Bellamy because of the logistics with the stage, so we stay backstage and watch her from a camera with the monitors right next to us.
I see a man on stage with her and quickly realize it isn’t Jase when he whizzes by me.
“Evie! Where the FUCK is Evie?” Jase snaps.
Slash and I exchange a quick glance, knowing whatever this is – it isn’t good.
“Dammit to hell. I’m gonna get arrested for manslaughter tonight,” Rocky huffs, starting up the stairs. I don’t think. I quickly follow him, and I hear Slash’s boots hitting the metal stairs right behind me.
“What the fuck is going on?” Slash asks. I’d love to tell him –
but I don’t know either. The only thing I know for sure is that two of the guys she runs around with looked like they were gonna pop a coronary with whoever this guy is on stage with her.
“Zac is on stage with Bells,” Rocky roars, glaring at Slash and me.
“Who the fuck is Zac?” Slasher asks, genuinely not knowing. At this rate, I’d love to know who Zac is.
“Hmm. Let me think about that. Zac is the asshole who leaked Bellamy’s photos to the press, you know, her nudes that only he had access to. Yep. That’s Zac, the bastard that keeps threatening to expose her.”
I’d almost forgotten what she’d told me, about her ex trying to ruin her career. This was that ex, and on top of it, I’d completely forgotten about her nudes leaking. It happened a bit ago and seems to be happening to so many celebrities. How did I not put two and two together? Damn.
“You’re not going to kill him,” I tell Rocky, he gives me a “yeah, right” look, and before he speaks I elaborate, “You’re not going to kill him because I’ll make sure I get to him first.”
The grin that slides across this redneck’s face tells me that he and I are about to be good damn friends.
We get to the back of the stage, the three of us staring out onto it. By the angle we’re at, the audience can see us all. Our eyes are dead set on Bellamy, watching every move she makes – and more importantly, every move he makes. I start to take a step forward when Slash puts his hand out in front of me, instantly causing me to stop. “Don’t.”
“Are you kidding me?” I ask, irritated. The only thing I want to do right now is dart across that stage and plummet the asshole until he can’t even sing Kumbaya.
“I’m with him. Are you kidding us right now?” Rocky adds.
Slash looks at the two of us, the most serious look I’ve ever seen come across his face. “She needs this. Trust me. If she’s struggling, we’ll go – but she fucking needs this.”
I take a step back, thinking about what he just said to me. He could be right, you know. Maybe she does need this. As far as I know, she hasn’t seen her ex in ages. This could be a way to confront him about what he’s done. This could be closure. Shit, this could be so many fucking things right now.
I barely hear feet hitting the stairs behind us and glance back, seeing Jase, Syd, and even that bastard Miles who none of us fucking like.
“Why aren’t any of you fucking doing anything?” Jase hisses at the group of us.
“Cause Mr. Serious over here thinks Bells needs to have this moment with Devil Dude,” Rocky grumbles, “…and he might be right.”
“We should be out there, helping her…shouldn’t we?” Syd asks.
“No. She deserves whatever is coming to her today,” Miles adds, and that’s it. I knew I was going to punch someone today, and I thought it was going to be Zac, but nope. Miles is first on my list. I whip my fist around and slam him so hard in the face it knocks him back. Luckily, he grabs onto the railing of the stairs, or he would’ve taken a nasty tumble. When he rises to look at me, I notice my ring caught a bit of his face, and he’s now bleeding. That makes me feel good. I want the bastard to hurt, after all, one punch is taking it lightly on him.
“I’m glad you did that, ‘cause I wouldn’t have stopped,” Rocky mutters, the rest of the guys agree with a round of mmhmm passing through their lips.
“Well, what’s the game plan here? What are we doing?” Syd asks.
“Hells Bells is gonna do what she does best,” Rocky says as we all stare at him with confused looks dragged across our faces.
***
Bellamy
This is not real.
I’ve tuned out everything that’s come out of his mouth, not able to understand what’s happened. How did he even get here? How did he get this far…
This is just some fudged up sort of dream. No – nightmare. This is a nightmare. Never would I dream of Zac being on stage with me, that would be something that happened in my deepest, darkest nightmare. Yep. I am totally asleep right now.
No way in h-e-double hockey sticks is this real.
Nope. Nope. Nope.
I blink hard, hoping that if I internally count to three he will magically disappear and be gone, but nope. He’s still here.
Crap.
The music continues to play, as he makes slow steps towards me. No. No way am I singing this song with him. Right before I was discovered and signed, Zac begged me to be a feature on one of his songs, and I mean he begged me. I told him no because I didn’t want people to automatically assume I was band-wagoning off his success. It is exactly what it looked like too. Now I think he knew exactly what he was doing. Zac is the most manipulating and calculating man to walk this planet, and I was the dumb girl who fell for him – I was the girl who thought I could change him, even though a leopard never changes their spots. My naiveite killed me and sent me straight here to the hell that stands before my very eyes.
Nope.
Not happening, asshole.
I glance up at the booth where the sound techs are positioned. They control everything to do with the sound for the show, and sometimes even the lighting. My buddy Kenny has been working with me on a new number, a new cover that I’ve been too chicken shit to try until our last show. Right now? Well. It’s the perfect freaking time to start it.
I put my hand above my eyes, taking away the brightness from some of the lights shining on me and glance up, seeing if I can spot him. I should’ve known that I couldn’t spot him being so far away, but he and I have been practicing communication. I don’t have any sort of walkie talkie that connects up there, so I’m stuck with hand signals.
I spell out the letters “S O L” over and over again until I hear the music is stopped. That’s my proof that the bastard heard me, and boy is Zac in for a ride.
You might be thinking that “SOL” stands for shit outta luck, and for Zac, that definitely fits the bill. It’s also the initials of the song I’m going to sing.
The music pumps through the speakers and the lights begin to change. I hear the roar of the crowd as they recognize the melody, and instantly I’m smiling. This could not be more perfect. Damn, I’m going to enjoy this.
I sing my own rendition of Selena Gomez’s ‘Same Old Love’ changing the lyrics so that they apply more so to my relationship with Zac. I tell the story about how he tore me to pieces, his lies and deceit, and worst of all, the betrayal that I never expected.
Selena and I both have something in common, we don’t put up with bullshit. That’s exactly why this song is perfect, especially right now.
Through the beat I strut down the stage, leaning down and touching the crowd’s hands. What not many people knew is that I’ve been practicing choreography. I needed to if I was going to keep touring, there was no way I could be a boring Betty.
I step back, adding a few of the moves I’ve been taught recently that matched up perfectly with music. Right now, this gave me the confidence to keep learning choreography. It was a dick move for him to show up here and try to throw me off my game. Funny how the tides have turned and now he’s the one being showed up.
As I finish singing the audience screams and roars, clapping away.
This, right here, is what tells me that I’m doing something right. If I wasn’t a good singer or a good performer – no one would ever applaud me. Every single thing that Zac said to me after the single released and hype began to build up surrounding my talent was a lie. Every time he told me I was only getting somewhere because of him, every single time he told me that I didn’t have what it took to make it in this business. I seem to be doing pretty damn fine, don’t I?
The music cuts and the lights turn from pink to the normal white that shines down upon us every night I sing.
“Have you missed me or what?” Zac chuckles, grabbing my arm forcefully. He tugs me towards him and the next thing I know he’s trying to slam his lips down onto mine. I duck, hear the thumping of boots and sneakers, basically hearing my ‘cavalry’ come to
rescue me. Taking a step back, I see Butch, the rage that is evident throughout his face. In line behind him come Slash, Rocky, Jase, and Syd. It’s no shocker to me that Miles couldn’t give a rat’s ass.
Butch grabs onto Zac’s collar, glances to me and back to Zac quickly. “Do you see her? She belongs to me. Mine,” he snarls.
I should be offended that he claimed me like a piece of property, that he flat out said I belonged to him like a lost puppy. But I’m not. I’m melting, figuratively and literally, the caveman just said what he wanted.
He told me everything I’ve wanted to hear for the past couple days.
He wants me.
CHAPTER 19
I want this. I want us. I want you.
Forever.
-Loveable Quotes
Butch
It all passed me by like a blur. One second Bellamy and I were on stage, and the next thing I know I was walking down the stairwell with her in my arms. It’s almost as if my body went into some all-out, autopilot, protection mode. When I realize what I had done, I jolted, pausing for a second, almost anticipating Bellamy to fight me, to argue….to do something, anything; but she didn’t. Her legs were wrapped around my hips, and her head was pressed against my shoulder. She may have acted like everything was fine, but nothing was fine with her right now, and I damn well knew it.
She may have killed it on stage, and basically gave a big fuck you to him, but she’s the one left with the mind fuck – not him, and I hate that. I fucking hate it.
I grab my phone from my pocket and text Slash as I walk through the venue. Bellamy is snuggling into me like a child, searching for a safe haven. “Sugar,” I mumble softly, glancing down at the girl in my arms as I take step after step towards the back exit of the venue.
“Wait. Where are you taking her?” I hear the blonde Australian chick asking me, and I turn slightly where Bell and I are both facing her. What’s her name? Eve?
Bellamy loosens her legs and drops down to the floor, walking a couple of steps towards her manager and close friend. “What the hell happened tonight, Evie? How did Zac even get past security? How did this happen…I was completely caught off guard!” she screams. I can hear her pain through every word she speaks. Tonight, was by no means easy for her. I’ll make sure I do everything that I can to turn this night around.
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