Pushing down on my hips he fucks me like he never has before, taking everything that he possibly can. “Stop taking those fucking pills,” he grunts, I huff at the conversation that’s about to unfold. We’ve gone over it time and time again. I’m not doing it.
“No. We’re not having a baby,” I tell him. He pumps into me, grinding his cock right against my center, making me shake on top of him.
“Yes, we are. You just haven’t let up yet.”
“No! We aren’t!” I hiss, moaning out the last bit as we match each other’s pace. Both starting to unfold in a sea of pleasure.
“You’re going to have my fucking kids, woman.” I couldn’t argue with him there. I’d give him anything he wanted, it was plain as day to see. Butch has done something no other has, he’s made me feel alive, a sense of comfortableness that I thought I could never, ever have again.
We may be so different, but there is no denying that we were made for each other.
“I promise you, you will get what you want, just not right this second,” I mutter, pulling his shirt towards me, slamming my lips against his own.
He bites me hard. “I get whatever the fuck I want, and don’t you forget that.”
Yep. This man is all mine.
***
Thanksgiving was nothing less than interesting. Each one of us has a specific task, I knew how to make quite a bit of desserts so that was my designated duty. However, when you really think about it – I was the lucky one. Only did I get to start prepping two days before Thanksgiving with my handmade pies and cakes. Everyone else had to slave away in the kitchen yesterday and today. If you ask me, I got away scot free.
Pumpkin, Pecan, Cherry, and Lemon were the pies requested. I went up to Elena last week and asked her just how many pies I should make. The way she laughed at my face when I told her I was thinking one of each, well, that was quite the reality check. I ended up making three of each pie, I figured that would feed everyone. Never did I think that Seamus would grab two entire pies for himself. I should’ve seen that one coming. Dmitri and Jenna ended up splitting a cherry to themselves and well, the rest was quite similar. I’m just happy that I had a good idea of mixing up the desserts and not just baking pies. My mom’s famous apple crumble cake and peach cobbler were amongst the yummies that I created. It didn’t matter, though, by the time dinner was over there was no sweet left in sight.
We laughed at every joke a brother made, shared embarrassing stories and moved into the common area of the clubhouse for drinks afterward. This was no average Thanksgiving, but we were family in our own way.
Butch had me on his lap, rubbing my thigh softly as Enzo told us joke after joke. The man was hysterical, especially after a little alcohol got in his system and he let loose a bit.
I glance around the room looking for someone, the one person that I haven’t seen since yesterday. He wasn’t at dinner, and it bothered me. No, maybe upset me is more like it. Slash and I went through something together that no human being should ever have to go through. While I was lucky, he took the brunt of the torture that day. The entire left side of his face is marred beyond recognition, and while the doctors tried to use skin grafts to repair the damage – they could only repair so much.
To be blunt, it looks like Slash got into a fight with a pissed off grizzly bear.
He didn’t just lose his eye that day, he lost so much more than that.
I lean off Butch, immediately he grabs my hand and I turn back to look at him. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“I need to go talk to him. He didn’t come to dinner, and I haven’t seen him all day,” I comment lowly, hoping that no one is being nosy today.
He gives me a knowing look, and before he even speaks I know what he’s going to say. “You can’t coddle him. He’ll either get over what happened, or he won’t. It’s not up to you to bring him back from his darkness. Each one of us here has dealt with our fair share of shit, and we all deal with it in our own way. He needs to be alone right now, so just let him be alone.”
I think long before I respond to my boyfriend. While he is right – everyone deals with things in their own way, he’s wrong in this case, and deep down he knows it. “Slash has been alone for his entire life. The last thing he needs right now is for people to think we don’t care, and that’s what you’re doing by not being there for him.”
I kiss Butch softly on the lips before I make my way through the clubhouse back down the hallway until I reach Slash’s room. I don’t bother to knock, knowing that if I do he either won’t answer or will tell me to leave him alone.
When I open the door, I see him laying down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He doesn’t look at me as he speaks. “Go back out there and enjoy dinner.”
“It’s almost nine. It’s way past dinner.”
“Oh.” It’s the only response I get out of him. I look over him slowly, seeing how he’s changed over the past few weeks. He’s no longer the catty man who’d throwback smart aleck responses like it was nothing. He’s now closed himself off, to practically everyone except me.
“You can’t sit around here and mope forever you know,” I offer, with a small smile as I walk towards his bed and sit down on the edge. “You gotta come out of here sometime.”
“I’ll come out when I feel like it,” he grumbles.
I grab his forearm and pinch him, and he smacks my hand away and glares at me.
“Stop being a dick,” I hiss.
“Stop trying to make me do shit that I don’t want to do. Why can’t you just leave me alone like everyone else does? I want to be alone. What I don’t want is you bugging me all the damn time about moving forward and all the bullshit that comes with it.”
“Fine. You want the tough love? I’ll freaking give it to you,” I snap, rising from the bed I stare at him, my heated blood boiling through every vein in my body. He’s just pissed me off, and I’m not about to sugar coat anything for him anymore. “We were kidnapped and tortured. I know because I was there, in case you fucking forgot. I watched everything that he did to you, that fucked with my head, it hurt my damn heart having to watch. You are one of my closest friends, Slash. Seeing you have to go through that wasn’t easy for me, but I promised myself that day that I wouldn’t allow you to do what you’re doing right now. No way in hell was I gonna let you close yourself off to everyone around you who loves you. I promised myself that I’d help you get through this, and I will. Even if you fight me every step of the way, I am going to be here. Be a dick, or don’t. You’re stuck with me regardless. Everyone wants to see you, c’mon.” I grab his hand and tug lightly, he rips his hand away from my own, leaning up on the bed he glares at me and laughs.
“Everyone wants to see me,” he repeats. “The last thing anyone wants to do is look at me. Look at my fucking face, Bell!”
I look at him like I always have, the only thing I see is a friend who is struggling and full of hurt. My only goal is to take away his pain. I just want my friend back.
When you look at Slash, you’d see the jagged cuts across his face, how his left side doesn’t even slightly resemble a face anymore. To be honest, I’ve seen burn victims in the hospital who look better than he does. “You had something shitty happen to you. I get that. I understand that more than anyone, but never would I stand by and let that one shitty thing take control of my life. You need to make a decision, Slash. Are you going to sit here and hide forever, or are you going to live a life far better than the one you had before? It’s your decision.”
I stare at him for a moment, not waiting for a response as I walk out of his bedroom and firmly shut the door behind me.
I can only hope that he chooses the latter.
I’m praying to God that he does.
The End
Reckoning
A Skulls Renegade Novel
Book #5
DEDICATED TO TANIA
I’m wondering if you’re shocked yet? :P Nope, this is not a joke! This one is ded
icated to you, babe! You have been an avid supporter of me since the very beginning, never holding back what is going on in that mind of yours. You ask me for what you want to know, which tells me what the readers need to know. You are a priceless part of my beta team and an even better friend. thank you so much for being my voice of reason…even when I don’t listen all the time. You truly help me make these books better each and every time.
PLAYLIST
Do You Love Me? | Escape the Fate
Bodak Yellow | Cardi B
Haunting | Halsey
Broken Heart | Escape the Fate
Mindfvck | Ghita
In the Dark | Camila Cabello
GRRRLS | AViVA
Beautiful | Bazzi
Undercover | Kehlani
Let Me Be | Escape the Fate
CHAPTER 1
Once upon a time, there was a little girl… Then she grew up and turned into a monster. -Anonymous
Katya
There are times throughout your life where no matter what you do, you will always be viewed as the monster. This is something that I know very well. I have been a monster since I was nothing but a child. Most people wouldn’t accept such a word, they wouldn’t want to openly admit that this is what they are.
I know what I am and am not afraid of it.
Others, well you see – they will try to find ways for me to cope with what I am. They will search and search and try to blame it on my mother or maybe even my father, that my experiences shaped me into what I am today. Fuck, they may even say that it was my husband and that I suffer from Stockholm’s Syndrome, and that would give them reason enough to accept what I am.
I don’t give a fuck about anybody, so disappointing someone does not upset me.
The only person who molded me into the monster I am today is the one I have to face in mirror every morning, like I am at this very moment.
I look into the crystal clean mirror before my eyes, picking up on every detail that is shown before me. The entire bathroom is on display, from the black tile floor with the bronze grout that my husband insisted we added, to our walk-in shower and separate tub that is lined with excavated rocks from the carnallite mines back in our home country of Russia. The floor to ceiling windows overlooking New York City, giving me a breathtaking view of Central Park and everything around it. Every small detail of this bathroom has been a meticulous, calculating choice made by one person. My husband, Sergei Kolosov.
Sergei is an interesting man, and I use the word interesting lightly. He has a way of maintaining order and making sure that everyone around him knows exactly who he is. Those are some of the smallest reasons on why I love him, scars and all.
Sergei may indeed be a monstrosity, but he is the monster that I belong to.
When life happened, and we ended up with Sergei, I made sure that Ksenia and I would stay safe, doing anything that I had to do. I would have done anything for my little sister and still would to this very day. Above all, my family means everything to me, even if they don’t think that they do.
The story of how I came to be with Sergei is a long, dark tale, but nonetheless, it is my story. It is my life, and maybe one day, it will be my legacy.
Now, I can’t help but think of what he had done, and how the events of that night shaped my very future.
I’ve been here for a few weeks with Ksenia, they don’t speak to us very much, and I suppose this is a good thing. We have been thrown around so much, sold to another and another. It makes me wonder if we are defective, why would we be sold this much? Is it because we are Petrovs? Are we valuable, somehow? Or, will they end up killing us because they know who we are?
Every thought that can surge through my mind has come and gone, and yet I am still left with only one thing – the unknown.
“Sister…,” I listen as Ksenia whispers next to me, finally, I take in a deep breath in and brace myself, turning towards her and seeing the fear that is obvious in her large eyes. She reminds me of Bambi; something so defenseless and weak. There are things that Ksenia does not understand, and if we were in any situation but the one we were – Well then, maybe I wouldn’t mind it if she were so weak, so fragile, so fucking innocent. But here we are; living a fucking nightmare. They make movies about the things we have to go through, and I say we, but what I really mean is I. What I have to go through, so these foul beasts don’t lay a hand on her. I have done horrible things, things that I shouldn’t have done. If we had a normal life, I would be called many names, I would even shame my family… I simply must remind myself that I have no ordinary life, and by doing what I have to I am assuring one thing, the most important thing – our survival.
“Girl!” I startle, jumping up at the sound of one of the guards, one who I have become very familiar with, in both good ways and bad. His name is Egor, and I do things for Egor that assures not only my safety, but Ksenia’s as well. I look into his eyes, trying to see what it is he wants. He either wants to fuck me, or I am in trouble – it could be both. I am bound to find out sooner or later. “Come.” His words lace with venom and hatred, he does normally speak to me in this way, however I know that something isn’t right.
I look down to Ksenia who is practically shaking at the sight of Egor. If she only knew what I did, then she would have reason to rest a bit easier. Fuck. What am I even saying? There is no reason for her nor I to rest easier. We are as safe in this place as we are anywhere else. Meaning, that we aren’t. We will never be safe.
We will never be safe ever again, our mother guaranteed that.
I take a few slow steps towards Egor, until he gives me one distinctive look that makes me stop dead in my tracks. He is giving me the very look that he gives the others when they are about to be branded, like a cow, or even a horse. Being sold has never been something that I thought would happen. I thought that if I would simply just… please the guards that they would keep us safe. I didn’t anticipate this, nor expect it. Fuck. What in the world have I been doing?
“Come. We don’t have all day!” he snarls at me, yanking me towards him as he latches his hand with a firm grip in my hair. He tugs and leads me out of our small cubby of a room and down the hall.
I take in slow, deep breaths, for I know what is coming. I have heard the others scream, and I have seen how the metal burns their flesh. For a moment, I am afraid, and rightfully so. There is nothing that I can do to control what is about to happen to me, and my only concern is for my sister. If I have been sold… where will she go? What will happen to Ksenia? We have been together for far too long for us to be split apart now. Yet… that is the only thing that has happened to our family.
We have been torn apart.
My brother was sold as a young boy, ripped from our lives and somehow… someway, we stayed with our mother for a few years, and then it was our turn to be discarded. That’s what she did. She discarded us as if we were nothing. I still don’t understand why, but one day I will – if I live long enough to see that day.
Egor shoves me against the wall quickly, I feel everything as he pushes his body against my own, gliding his nose and mouth against my shoulder. “You. I don’t know why, but you always smell so good. You are different than the others, so very different. This makes you special to me, you see this, yes?”
“Yes,” I agree with him, my mind running in circles, trying to understand what is going on.
“I know you are a smart girl, Katya. If you weren’t smart you would not be sucking my cock and fucking me at every beck and call. We both know this.” He flips me around harshly, my shoulder blades digging into the concrete behind me. “I will have you know that I do no favors, this is not in my nature. You are something, and you are nothing. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I tell him, lying straight through my teeth. I just want him to cut the bullshit and get to the point.
“You are something because you are different than all the rest who have come here, to this place,” He moves his hand around in a circle, “You, girl, ar
e smart, and because of this I know you will accomplish much, even being a slave – I do not see you as one for long, especially with the man I have talked into purchasing you.”
I do not utter a word. I am simply breathing, processing what he just told me.
“My cousin, Sergei, has been looking for someone like you, for a long, long time. He is older, and he will beat you until you turn black, he will violate and destroy you in every way you could ever imagine. He is a monster, sweet, sweet Katya. I think that you both will get along well, don’t you?” Those were the last words that were uttered to me before everything went black.
The last thing I remember is Egor telling me that my husband was as monstrous as I know him to be. Yet, Egor didn’t tell me everything. No, and even Sergei didn’t. I had to find out things the hard way, and I always did.
Egor was right about one thing, though.
Sergei and I did get along, very well.
Maybe we got along too well.
CHAPTER 2
I feel like I’m waiting for something that isn’t going to happen. -curiano.com
Slasher
“You can’t keep doing this forever you know. One day you’re going to have to get out of this phase and face the world. Nothing has changed, okay? Nothing. The only thing that has changed is how you look physically and how you view the world. We all love you, Junior.” I listen to Bellamy’s voice replay on my voicemail over and over again. It’s been seven months since shit went down, since my face was ripped apart by that motherfucker, Chuckles.
Ever since that day, my life has changed. He marred much more than just my skin that day. He was right, you know. I killed Veronica. I took the life from her very body. That branded me a monster, a traitor, and so much more.
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