I lay my head against the cool glass of the window as I process the news. This is not exactly the ideal time to be pregnant, but in reality, is there ever an ideal time? Even those trying often find that they get pregnant too soon or later than they expected. The universe is fickle that way and no one gets what they want when they want it.
Things are as good as they can be between Anton and I right now, after everything we have been through. I am honestly surprised that we are not still at each other’s throats. When I think of the idea of being pissed at him forever or allowing him into my life, the answer is clearer than it was before. He belongs in my life, especially now. I need to just let it happen and not fight every moment.
I would rather have him as a part of this once I decide I am alright to share it. It is early, after all.
My phone buzzes, and I pull it out of my purse just as we pull back up to the house. I look down at the message I have received and smile because it is the first shred of normalcy I have felt in a while.
So, I just couldn’t keep the surprise from you. Your alpha male is flying me out to see you eek! But don't tell him I told you.
I am practically crying at the idea of my best friend, Bethany, coming to visit me here in Miami. I miss her so much. I miss that life so much, and I hope Anton starts giving me some of it back. It looks like he is trying to.
See you soon then, biatch!
I laugh as I type it, walking into the house and feeling a little hungry. I think it must be time for lunch. I am eating for two now and need to keep on top of those things. I sigh as I go to my room first and place my purse in the closet and hope no one decides to snoop there. Otherwise, my secret will be out before I get the chance to say a word.
CHAPTER 18
Find your tribe. Love them hard. - DanielleLaporte.com
Natasha
I jump up at the sound of the doorbell. To save the surprise a bit, Bethany refused to tell me when she would arrive, even what day she was coming. She kept telling me soon and left it at that. But that has to be her. “I wonder who that could be,” Anton says, going to open the door himself as if it is a normal thing, as if I wouldn't be suspicious if I didn't know Bethany was coming to visit.
“Tasha?” I hear her say my name, and I jump up and run to her. Screw surprise or not, I am running to my best friend. She may not realize what I have been through, but I have felt like a prisoner until right now, until I knew I was allowed to see her and be with her. I catch a smug look on Anton’s face as I pull her into a tight hug, and she squeals happily.
“Oh, em gee, it has been too long!” she says as she pulls away to look at me as if I might be different somehow. That’s right, I am, and sure enough, she finds that spot on my cheek, the one that is healing much too slow for my taste. Her eyes flash. She knows who gave me the first one.
“Yeah, I had a run-in with an old acquaintance,” I say, rolling my eyes. I didn't even want to say his name and give him any more power in my life than he has already had.
“Rusev,” she says for me. “And what did you do about this?” she nods towards Anton who is just an observer right now. I turn to him to see if he is going to tell the story or if I need to. Honestly, I should know better. Bethany refers to him as an alpha male for a reason. He would never miss a chance to flaunt the way he protects me, to the point of shooting Rusev’s fucking kneecaps out. I laugh at the memory and am so glad I can do that rather than cry.
“He is taken care of,” Anton says mysteriously. “I do not want to disturb you with the gory details, but he is aware now that he cannot touch her.” Anton approaches and wraps his arms around me for a moment, and this feels odd with Bethany right here. Will she notice the possessiveness and ask?
“Well, I am only sorry I wasn't there to see you put him in his place,” Bethany says, pulling me away from Anton. “Now, if you don't mind, I would like to borrow my best friend here for a day of fun.”
Anton leans into me and plants a kiss on the back of my head before waving goodbye to us as I am practically dragged out of there and into a car that has been provided to us. “Spill!” Beth says as soon as we are away from everyone but the goon that is driving us around. “You have been gone from Seattle far too long for there to be nothing going on here. Like, have you officially moved in, are you engaged, or what?” she asks me in a hushed tone.
I shake my head and laugh. “I don't know what to tell you, Beth. There is nothing to say right now.” Ha! What a fucking joke that is. There is plenty, I just don't think I need to drag her into it, not yet. When there is a ring on my finger, I will tell her.
“Okay, keep your secrets. I will get them out of you before I leave, trust me,” she tells me, and I laugh, genuinely laugh, forgetting all about my most recent problem.
“So, what are the plans for today?” I ask her.
“Oh, the usual, I have the whole day planned, and we are going to come back and pass out in a bubble bath afterward,” she tells me as we pull up to what I am guessing is out first destination. “And don't worry, I made sure to pack you some necessary wardrobe changes in the trunk,” she adds. “Courtesy of Anton, of course.” She winks at me when she says it, and I roll my eyes playfully.
We are at a restaurant, one of the trendy cafes here, and we walk in like two hot bitches, and I suddenly feel more like myself than I have in ages. I am really going to have to thank the both of them for this later and demand that this happens more often. I need Beth in my life, I really do.
We have a nice long meal, and she tells me about all the things I am missing in Seattle, all the latest gossip and everything that she has been doing since I left.
After we are done eating, Beth leads us out to the car, popping the trunk to grab an item from one of the bags. She pulls out this teeny little bikini, which covers almost nothing. I know if Anton was with us he would throw a fit about it. He wouldn’t want his fiancé flaunting all of her assets to every man on the beach. But he's not here this is just a fun time with my best friend, which I fully plan of taking advantage.
When we make it to the beach, the sun is high above and very hot. It is a perfect day for the beach. We decide to wade into the water letting our toes sink into the sand as little creatures scuttle across them. It feels so natural with Bethany as if we have not been apart for so long. I almost want to tell her everything just let go of all this weight I'm holding on my shoulders about everything that's happened since I left Seattle. The problem is my life. I am a Kolosov and my life is never going to be safe with or without Anton.
Bethany runs into the water, waving her hands high in the air like a crazy person, but she's my crazy person, and I love it. I follow her into the deeper water letting the salty sea cover my body while the sun hits the top of my head. We both laugh as we begin to splash each other like a couple of little girls out for a swim. We end up tackling each other down into the water, the waves crashing over us. It is then that I notice a guy, a pretty hot one, looking over at us. I know he must be looking at Beth because she is like the ultimate beach babe with her blond hair and rockin body.
I tap my friend on the shoulder and point him out to her. "Hey maybe there's your alpha male over there," I tell her, pointing over to him. He has dark hair with a buzz cut, and he is coming over here. I see Beth go red, and despite the way she is with me and Anton, she is a pretty shy woman. This should be interesting.
I make an excuse and walk away so the two can talk. I go and sit on the beach towel that we brought with us and just soak up the sun and people-watch. My problems come back to me tenfold, and I can't help but think about the baby I am carrying. I can't help but wonder how complicated things are going to get from here on out.
After the two finally exchange numbers and we spend more time sunbathing and just joking around I feel completely depleted between the sun and all the activity we have already had today. But I'm not about to go home when I know she has more planned, particularly shopping. I know she mentioned the mall. I am not turning
down a chance to go to the mall with my best friend.
“So, do you think he was the one?” I tease her on our way to the mall. It’s only fair with all the trouble she gave me after I met Anton. Really, though, I want to see her find someone eventually, maybe under better circumstances than myself.
“Well, he is the one for right now anyway. We made a date for tomorrow. I hope you don’t mind,” she tells me. I see the guilt there, but our last trip to Miami I spent with Anton, so why not?
“No, not at all. Maybe if you fall in love, I will get to see you more often,” I tell her with a laugh, and she pinches me in the side as payback. “Hey, you gave me such crap for Anton, the alpha male, I have to have a little fun with this.”
“Of course, but I am not you. My reaction will be different,” she says in faux anger. All I can do is laugh at her.
The mall is not that far from the beach, so the ride is short. When he pulls up to drop us off I let the goon driver know if he doesn't want to wait for us, that he should be back in 2 to 3 hours. Girls like us know how to go on a shopping spree, and we're probably going to visit every shop at least twice.
Turns out that I am right, and we spend at least twenty minutes in every shop, buying at least one thing. Within an hour we have to get a get an attendant to carry our bags around because we have way too many. But the thing about being a Kolosov and now being with Anton, money is no object. Enough to get others to do anything I want. But in a way, that kind of power is also scary.
Suddenly, I stop, finding myself looking right inside of a baby store. It’s one of those fancy baby boutiques. From the window, I can see that they have furniture, toys, everything that I could possibly need for this baby that I am growing in my stomach right now. Something else that I notice inside is all the mothers with their babies; they all look so normal. I bet they are all normal people. People that aren't like me.
As I watch them, these normal people just shopping for their babies or newborns, or for their loved ones, I start to wish that it could be that simple. That I can have it that easy. But the truth is that I know that this will never be simple. In my world nothing will ever be simple. Even more now that I'm with Anton, but after I had another run-in with Rusev, I knew that there is nothing uncomplicated about my life anymore.
Beth has walked a bit ahead and turns around to look at me, seeing that I'm staring into a store full of baby stuff. It doesn’t even quite register at the moment that she's going to realize the reason I am doing this. I am in trance.
"What are you doing Natasha? Hurry up and snap out of your staring fest at the store." Beth ends up taking at my arm, and that's what finally pulls me out of this trance, but it's too late as Beth looks at me back at the store and then back at me again. And I see it dawn in her eyes. "So why are you staring at the baby store?" she asks me suspiciously. "Oh my God, don’t tell me this is your secret, Tasha? I can't believe it!" Beth squeals, getting the attention of everyone around us. Picking up my arm, she tugs me straight into the store. She is practically dragging me down the aisles so that we can look at all this beautiful baby stuff even though I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl yet. Even though I haven't told Anton, the father of the child, that I'm pregnant yet.
Don’t get me wrong, I am so happy that my friend feels excited about this pregnancy I know that she will be here to support me throughout this and she's going to be an awesome Aunt to this child. Just knowing that warns me to the child that is growing in my stomach. I know I'm only a few weeks along, I know that I love this baby already. That is not the problem. I do not plan on getting rid of it or putting it up for adoption. But it doesn’t mean that I don't wish the circumstances were different.
As we go down the aisles and I see all the tiny little clothes, the bedding with cute little animals on them, and all the essentials like bottles and pacifiers, I can't help but worry about the surrounding variables of the situation. Those are what is throwing me off. I don't know how to raise a child in my world. This baby being not only the heir to the Kolosov line but now the heir to the Constantin and Balan Clans is not the ideal situation to be bringing a child into the world.
This baby will be in danger from the moment people know about it, and I don't like the idea of constant danger when I'm trying to build a family.
CHAPTER 19
Love isn’t complicated. People are. - Anonymous
Natasha
It's been two weeks since I found out I was pregnant. It is date night, and I'm supposed to be meeting Anton after he takes care of some business at one of his restaurants that he owns. I am in the car with a goon driving as usual. I am thinking this might be a good night to let Anton in on the fact that I am carrying his child. I am for sure nervous about it, and to outweigh that nervousness I decided to put on something super sexy. After all, I might as well wear what I want when I can get away with it. At 7 weeks pregnant I am feeling all the symptoms, and I know soon my stomach is going to start growing along with those. I won't be able to wear things like this anymore.
The car stops in front of the restaurant, and we have been to this one before. Actually, it is my favorite of all the restaurants I've seen that he owns so far. It keeps dim lighting and it is very romantic. There are small sections kind of set away from everyone else, but you can still see everyone from where you are. So, you don't feel like you're all on your own.
Candelabras sit in the middle of the tables, and the wait staff will burn them if you ask. And the food being exquisite doesn't hurt either. Though, I am partially afraid that I won't be able to keep it all down. My morning sickness has been bad. I had to call my doctor about it because I really didn't know what to think of it. It turns out the sicker you are the healthier they think the baby is going to be… fun.
I sashay into the restaurant; a goon is arm and arm with me leading me inside so that I can find Anton. I think it is more about protection or possessiveness than it is about me finding where Anton is sitting.
I spot him, and his eyes go up and down me immediately just as I suspected. My dress is a pale pink, and it ties up at the back around my neck, there's a long ribbon that extends from the right-hand side. The left side has a gap just below my breast leaving part of my stomach and back showing, and the skirt is very tight with a daring split at the right-hand side right where the ribbon drapes over it. It gives the illusion of being naked but covers all the essentials in a better way than that white dress he gave me ever did.
I smile as Anton takes over for the goon, coming around to pull my chair out for me and then push it in. “I hope you don't mind but I've already ordered for you. We are going to be having a four-course meal. I know you'll enjoy it. I hope you're not mad. I wanted to do something special for you.”
I nod at Anton and smile. I know now that he means well when he does things like this. In fact, it makes me feel more secure about having a child with him under the circumstances. He will never let anything happen to him or her. He will protect the both of us, whatever it takes.
The waiter comes over to bring the food and check on us, and I immediately order water with lemon. I can't exactly drink the wine that's in front of me. That would hurt the baby.
"This is all very romantic. What's the occasion?" I ask him as I eyed the appetizer; shrimp cocktail, something I will not be eating. I just hope Anton doesn’t notice my sudden disdain of fish. Something about it just makes me want to hurl, I guess that is bound to happen though.
Anton smiles, that smile I love of his and also hate at the same time. Is that possible? "Well, we are engaged, aren't we?" I give him a look under my eyelashes.
"Technically there is no ring on my finger, " I say. But that's when he pulls one out of his pocket. It is a small ring box, actually, that lets me know exactly what it's for. I can't help but gasp when he opens it in front of me. The diamond is huge, and it is surrounded by tiny sapphires. They are the same color blue that he loves me to wear. “It's a gorgeous ring,” I let him know as I allow him to slip it o
n my finger. The finger that tells everyone I am engaged. Now I feel obligated to tell him about the baby tonight. I feel like everything is more official now.
I am about to tell him, when I spot someone coming in the door. My eyes narrow at the man who helped bring me into this world.
He left Miami. I didn't expect to see him again for a long time, if at all. Especially after the way he left things. And yet, here he is in a restaurant owned by Anton. This can’t be a coincidence.
I look down my nose at Anton suspiciously. I don’t know if he’s got anything to do with this or if he knew that the man was coming. It's hard to believe that Sergei Kolosov himself is in public for no reason.
Anton follows my gaze to look behind us. That's when he sees him. I realize, observing the look on Anton's face that he did not know Sergei was coming. So, I guess I can't be so angry at him about the fact that my father suddenly showed up when we're supposed to be on the date when the ring is finally on my finger. It reeks of something businesslike, or of something sinister.
He saunters over to us as if it's nothing, and he looks at us with big eyes like he had no idea we would be here. I know better than that, and I cross my arms over my chest. I'm not having his bullshit today. I'm going to make sure he knows it.
The waiter comes over and asks us if we want Sergei to sit with us. He tells the waiter to get him a chair that he's definitely sitting with us tonight that we would be pleased see him. I roll my eyes, and Anton looks weary.
"What are you doing here, Daddy?" I ask with sarcasm dripping off the last word. He's not my daddy, he is not my father, he is not anything but a sperm donor at this point to me.
"Can’t a father just come visit his daughter and her fiancé?" he asks innocently as he is brought some wine and a menu. Our entrees are out now, but I have lost my appetite. I am not buying this act for a second.
Knox Brotherhood Page 118
