“What do you remember from that day?” Hawk asked.
She glanced over her shoulder.
Bull handed her the notebook. She wrote for a few minutes then handed it to him.
“Like I said not very much. I was told I was found sitting next to her body. I was crying trying to wake her up. I must have thought she was laying on the floor sleeping. A neighbor called the police because I was crying so hard. The police busted down the door to get inside. I do remember that much. Then a neighbor snatched me off the floor and took me out of the apartment. I never saw my mother again and Social Services wouldn’t tell me what happened until I turned eighteen. I had to go to the police department to get any information on the murder. It’s still an open case by the way. A cold case but not closed. The police never did find out who killed her.”
“Why did the killer leave you alive?” Tank asked.
Charlie shrugged again and wrote, “I don’t know. Maybe I was hiding or he thought I would be too young to remember him? I just don’t know. When I couldn’t answer the police, I think a doctor told them I blocked out the murder if I saw it at all. My mind accepted it as a trauma and shut down those memories for my own protection.”
“And how do you remember that?” Judge asked snidely.
“I don’t.” Charlie insisted as she turned to look at him and whispered, “That’s what I was told growing up. I spoke to the police a lot when I was a kid. They wanted to know if I remembered the details of the day my mom was murdered but I never did. There was one detective that kept checking on me all these years. His name was Officer Dan McGruder.”
“Is he still around asking questions?” Bull wanted to know.
Charlie shook her head. “He was killed in the line of fire a little over a year ago.”
Bull turned his head and shared a look with his friends. “And you’ve never remembered any more from the night your mom was killed?”
Charlie thought for a moment, hesitating briefly because she had remembered something. She didn’t know what it meant and it was only a flash in the pan but the memory hadn’t stayed with her long enough to mean anything to her. Then she shook her head and wrote her answer out, “Not really. Sometimes I can almost remember something in my nightmare but I never really remember them so that doesn’t count. It’s like it’s almost there but I can’t quite grasp it. It drives me nuts sometimes.”
“Been there, done that,” Bull muttered under his breath.
Charlie chuckled lowly. “Yeah me too.”
Hawk stepped over in front of her and Bull and squatted down in front of her. “Do you know of any reason why Bane would have all this info about you and your mom on his flash drive?”
Charlie frowned and growled, “I told you I didn’t. Between now and then I still have no idea. I didn’t know he even knew my mom. Was there anything else on that damn flash drive or just this stuff?”
Hawk rolled his eyes. “Oh there was plenty more. We found his contact list for the cartel and the Ratz, shipping dates and times, even a local payoff list. And oh yeah, we found his hit list.”
Charlie paled. “He had a hit list? That’s insane.” She turned to Bull. “Are you guys on his list?”
Bull nodded.
Her throat her so she wrote, “But that list is two years old already. How did he know about you guys?”
Bull grasped her shoulders and held her steady. “Five years ago, we killed his brother Salim Malik is the sands of Iraq. We stumbled on his drug pipeline and took it out on our last mission.” He shrugged. “That’s where we lost two of our men and I got all shot up.”
Hawk glared at Bull. “She didn’t need to know that. It’s classified.”
“She already knew, we’ve been talking about it since you guys got here,” Bull pointed out.
“Who am I gonna tell?” Charlie shrugged.
“It’s still classified information.” Judge growled.
Charlie stiffened slightly.
Bull noted her reaction and glared at the other man.
She looked over at Hawk and asked softly, “What about Ritcher? Is he mentioned in any of Bane’s files? Is he another crocked politician?”
Hawk nodded slowly. “Oh yeah, he’s there too, on the hit list I mean. Also Bane has a separate file for payoffs. You were right, he’s got judges, lawyers and cops on his payroll.”
Charlie shrugged. “That doesn’t surprise me. He thinks he runs this town.”
“From what we found he pretty much does run it.” Hawk admitted.
Tank clapped his hands together and commented, “And it’s up to us to take out the trash. God, I love my job.”
Charlie shook her head. “That boy is gonna get himself killed if he’s not careful,” she muttered to herself.
“That boy,” Hawk scoffed. “Is a highly trained Special Forces man. He knows how to fight.”
Charlie sat and wrote out what she wanted to tell him and slid the notebook over as she laid her hand on Hawk’s shoulder. “He may know how to fight G.I. Joe style but he has no fucking clue how to fight the way the Ratz do or Bane will do. They fight dirty and hard. They don’t take aim and shoot, they just start shooting and if a few of their men get in the way, they are dead men and that doesn’t bother them a bit. They won’t hesitate to put a bullet between your eyes or gut you with a knife. You don’t matter to them, not one whit and they don’t stop because you’re a woman. If you get in their way you’ll be just as dead.”
Hawk didn’t say anything but his glare got hard.
Charlie stared back at the man. They live and die by street code and the street code says only the strong survive. They know how to survive.”
“So do we.” So do we,” Hawk assured her.
Charlie shook her head. “No you guys were trained to access your shots first then shoot. You guys have honor and live by a strong code, maybe even stronger than the street but then you guys are real men, those pukes are nothing but animals.”
Hawk hung his head for a moment then raised his eyes to hers again. “Like you pointed out we have a code of honor we live by and that honor says we can’t walk away from this fight. We have to stay and fight the good fight. We can’t let the bad guys win.” He smiled. “That’s just the way we are honey.”
Bull growled low in his throat at the endearment but didn’t say anything. Charlie heard it and laid her hand on his thigh. Bull reached over and tangled her fingers with his. Charlie stared at Hawk for a moment or two then nodded. “I know. I guess I’ve known what kind of men you are from the beginning. I just never knew I’d ever meet one of you in my lifetime.”
“One of us?” Bull murmured.
“A man with honor who can’t be bought. All I’ve ever known is the other kind of guy.”
“Can we shuck the admiration society and get back to work now?” Judge asked harshly. “We have a lot of material to get through before we know anything for sure and time is running out.”
Charlie stiffened at the rude words. Even Bull squared his shoulders and was turning around to blast the other man when Charlie tugged on his arm. When Bull looked down at her, she motioned toward the pages on her mother they had found. “Can I take these downstairs and read them? I’d like to finally know what happened that day.”
Bull lifted his hand to cup her cheek, “Sure thing sweetness. One of us will be down shortly to fix a meal. But he won’t bother you.”
Charlie smiled wanly as she rose to her feet. Grabbing the stack of papers, she went to the top of the steps and down one level.
* * * *
Bull turned to face the other men in his former group. Mustang held up his hand before Bull could speak, “Before you rip into us, you have to know this looks bad. Bad for your girl. What the hell is any information about her, especially what we found doing on Conrad Bane’s computer? Her or her mother? Do they have a connection to Bane? If so what is it? This is something we need to know before we go into a situation we won’t come out of.”
Bull exhal
ed deeply. “I know, believe me I know but if there is a connection she doesn’t know what it is. Of that, I’m very sure. You didn’t see her face when she saw these papers, or when she saw her mother’s info. She was devastated. She was only two when her mom was murdered. How much do you remember when you were two fuckin years old?”
Mustang shook his head. “Hell, I can’t remember back that far.”
“Yeah, well neither can she.” Bull growled. “There’s something from that night her mind doesn’t want her to remember. She can’t tell me what but I think she was there that night. I think she saw the murder go down. Maybe that’s why Bane has her file.” Rubbing his fingers through his hair he went on, “Hell, I don’t know what I’m even talking about. What the hell would Conrad Bane care about some woman being murdered anyway?”
“Unless he did the killing,” Hawk interjected into the conversation.
When Bull snapped his head around to glare at the other man, Hawk raised his finger. “Now wait a minute, think about it before you blow up. The notion makes sense in an odd way.”
Bull frowned. “But in what way? What’s the connection?”
Hawk shrugged. “Hell, if I know.”
Tank looked down at the photos of Joni Martin on his computer for a moment. Then his head snapped up and his eyes dazed at the thoughts running through his head. “You don’t think Charlie is his kid do you? Hell, he’s been living in this country long enough to have a kid her age? Him and Joni could have gotten together at some point.”
Bull shivered and closed his eyes. “God, I hope not. If they did, why would he kill her?”
“Maybe she found out he was a murdering bastard,” Mustang commented. “Her parents died in a home invasion, what if they died at Bane’s own hands and she found out about it? She would have run which is exactly what she did do. She ran away from San Antoine. First, she went to Sabine Pass then she came here. Here is where Charlie was born. Bane must have found her when Charlie was two years old. He killed the mother before she could turn him over to the cops and left the kid alone without anyone to protect her.”
“Why would he leave his daughter alive but on her own? That doesn’t make any sense?” Judge asked.
“Maybe he couldn’t find her after killing her mother.” Tank shrugged. “This way the story makes sense anyway. We may never know what really happened. Charlie was too young to remember and Joni is long gone.” He smirked. “And we can’t exactly ask Bane now can we?”
“Do you still trust her Bull?” Judge had to ask the hard question.
Bull nodded without pause. “Yeah, I do. She has no love lost for Conrad Bane and even less for the River Ratz gang.” He turned to stare at his commander. “I trust her and I still want to protect her. If she is his kid, then she needs something good in her life. She’s never had that before. Not since her mom died anyway.”
Judge watched him for a long moment then nodded. “Ok seems I can’t stop you but I think we should watch what we info we let her know about. She can’t tell anyone if she doesn’t know anything.”
Bull tightened his lips in anger at Judge’s words.
Before he could say anything, Hawk grabbed him from behind and held him back.
Bull turned to glare at the other man then nodded. Jerking his arm away from Hawk, he stomped down the steps to the second floor and didn’t stop until he got to where Charlie was sitting.
She was all curled up in the corner of the room. Sitting on the floor with the papers spread all around her she had her knees drawn up and her arms wrapped around her legs. She was sobbing.
Bull wrapped his arm around her shoulders and hugged her close to him. “Honey you have to stop. Your throat can’t take that much more abuse.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “He had a copy of the autopsy report in that file. Someone strangled her. As if that wasn’t enough, she was tortured first. Someone beat the hell out of her then strangled her to death. No one deserves that.”
Bull pushed her face into his chest and held her while the rage grew inside him “No baby, no one does, especially a woman.” He closed his eyes at her pain. “Hush now. Hush. I don’t want you to hurt yourself anymore.”
Charlie eventually calmed down. His closeness was something she was used to but decided she couldn’t get used to it quick enough. His scent pleased her and in his arms, she felt safe.
Then out of nowhere, Bull’s belly growled.
Charlie chuckled. “I take it that’s your body’s way of protesting the lack of food?”
Bull laughed. “Yeah, you could say that.”
“Well then, how about you and me fix something for supper while the other guys are busy with the paperwork?” Charlie whispered.
“That’s a great idea.” Helping her to her feet, they went to the pantry and began looking for something to cook for seven people.
CHAPTER TEN
An hour later, the smell of good food brought the others down to the table. Charlie had fried chicken and mashed potatoes for supper for the guys. She sat with Bull aside from the rest and drank her shake while everyone else ate regular food.
“Bull I didn’t know you could cook,” Tank joked as he shoveled food into his mouth.
Mustang snorted, “He can’t boil an egg.”
Bull smirked. “Charlie made supper. I followed her directions.”
Hawk snapped his head in her direction and smiled. “Damn woman, you got kitchen skills, I’ll give you that. This is delicious.”
Charlie smiled then paled as Judge pushed his half eaten plate aside and stood up, leaving the room.
No one said a word at his actions but Bull’s fingers curled into fists. He started to push his chair back but stopped when Charlie laid her hand on his arm and shook her head. She lifted her tear filled eyes and told the entire group, “I didn’t poison the food and his actions don’t matter to me. I don’t know what he has against me but I didn’t do anything wrong. Please eat.” With that, she got to her feet and followed Judge up the steps.
She ignored the man, went over to the bed and laid down, curling into a ball. Pulling the covers up over her shoulders, she closed her eyes and let her tears soak into the pillow as she silently cried. A few minutes later, she allowed herself to fall asleep but her sleep was disturbed. At first, it was by feeling of unease that kept getting stronger as time passed. The door to her subconscious began to open and memories long repressed began to filter out. Memories she thought she didn’t have. Memories of her mother and a time in her life when she was loved by at least one person, the same person who nurtured her. The same person who held her and rocked her tiny body to sleep at night, the same person who sang her lullabies.
She felt safe and warm in her mother’s arms as she remembered her childhood however brief it had been.
Hours later, the room was quiet as the guys settled in for sleep. Bull had checked and rechecked the security system and had done a final sweep of the cameras outside. Then without looking at the others went over to the bed Charlie was sleeping on. Lifting one edge of the blanket, he slipped in behind her and wrapped his arms around her slight body.
Slowly he pulled her into his arms. With a sigh, he closed his eyes and allowed his body to rest.
The creeping unease in Charlie’s soul was getting stronger as the moon rose in the night’s sky. Memories long forgotten flooded her mind when the door finally opened. She was remembering her early childhood. She could see her mother’s face again finally.
It had been so long since she’d last seen her she’d forgotten what her mother looked like. But she was remembering her now. They had been living in a small one bedroom apartment. Her mother didn’t have much but what she had Charlie remembered her mother took pride in.
But then suddenly things changed. The light in her mother’s eyes was gone and she began to be afraid. She didn’t smile anymore either nor was there any Charlie and mommy time like there had been before. She checked the windows and made sure the door was always locked. S
he had tried to keep it together but babies are like any animal, they know when something isn’t quite right.
Charlie knew her mother wasn’t acting the same as before. Then her mother began playing a strange game of hide and seek. She’d tell Charlie over and over again to hide in a certain spot and not say a word. Charlie didn’t like this game and she cried whenever her mother asked her to play but her mother insisted. She had to hide and not say a word no matter what she heard her mother doing.
Charlie began to moan in her sleep as more and more memories came back in a rush. Twisting and turning to get away from the memories.
* * * *
Bull started in his sleep. Opening his eyes, he looked down at the woman in his arms and frowned. She seemed caught up in a nightmare of some kind. He tried to comfort her but that only made things worse as she began struggling against him.
When he loosened his hold, she turned to him and began crying. “No Mommy, no I don’t want to play this game anymore,” she cried out.
Bull frowned as he listened to her.
“No Mommy I don’t want to hide anymore.” Her arms and legs flailed in her struggles.
Bull felt as if she were trying to get away from him but she couldn’t go far. It was almost as if she were being held in place by another person.
“Mommy please don’t yell at me anymore. I’ll be a good girl I promise,” Charlie wailed softly as if she were a child. Her whispery voice carried in the stillness of the room. “Okay Mommy I’ll hide again. I promise not to come out no matter what I hear but Mommy please don’t let me in there too long. I don’t like that dark place.” Charlie made the motions of covering her head with her arms and curling up into a tighter ball. She began rocking back and forth.
Bull listened and felt her shivering as she remembered the past. His heart broke a little bit more as the young girl sobbed.
“No Mommy,” she whispered softly. “No don’t hurt my mommy.” She pressed her hand against her mouth as her eyes squeezed shut tighter. “Don’t you hurt my mommy. You’re a bad man to hurt my mommy like that.” Pausing for a few minutes she whispered, “Mommy?” a few minutes later she whispered again, “Mommy? Mommy are you there? Can this game be done now? Mommy, I don’t hear the bad man anymore, can I come out now? Mommy? Are you there?”
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