by Trisha Wolfe
“You know my death will be investigated. I’m not one of your victims; I won’t simply disappear.” I look up into his face then. Stare into the shadowed sockets of his dark eyes.
“There won’t be a body to investigate.” Connelly runs the pad of his thumb over the tip of the blade.
I open my mouth to say more, to let him know who I am, how Detective Quinn and the task force will link my disappearance to him—but the knife makes contact with the collar of my dress, pressing into my skin and stifling my words.
As Connelly kneels in the mud, his weapon gouging into my flesh, I force my eyes not to close. I hold his gaze as he slices a clean cut down the fabric. The sound of tearing material sends me right back into my nightmarish memories.
Sweat trickles into the shallow cut on my chest with a biting sting…then he rips the collar away, revealing my neck and chest. With another swift move, he slips the flat of the blade beneath my bra. The cold steel assaults my skin. I shiver, and that entices a smile from his twisted lips. He turns the knife and yanks, cutting my bra away from my body.
His eyes assess the my scar. And as he says, “Oh, beauty. How divine your torture must’ve been,” I hold the gaze of the killer before me. I will not look away. I will not give him the fear he feasts on.
His fingers test the scar tissue along my collarbone. Lust flickers in his eyes as his hand trails up to capture the necklace around my neck. “I rarely take such an obvious trophy,” he says, wrapping the chain around his hand. “But I can’t resist.”
He jerks the necklace from my neck and then pushes me to the ground.
The chirr of the crickets crescendos as I stare up at the star-painted sky through the canopy of treetops. So heavenly. So transcendent. So far removed from this moment.
1
Present Day: 45 Minutes After Avery’s Abduction
Sadie
Red.
The color of the breaking morning sky through my windshield.
Fire red. Angry red. Love red… It can be perceived so many ways, with so many conflicting emotions.
The sun’s fiery rays kiss the clouds, emblazoning the stretch of cool black with a sweet caress of warmth red.
Or
The rising sun slashes the sky with violent streaks, consuming the peaceful night with blistering fire red.
It’s deceptive, this bold color. Amorous and full of fervor, it paints the still dawn in shades that denote tranquility.
But the fire surging up within me is anything but tranquil.
It rages. Like a bolt of lightning striking on the horizon, my vision is rimmed with a pulsing red as the sky deepens in intensity. Her face is there—etched in pain and horror—against my eyelids every time I blink away the rising sun.
Avery.
The tires rumble against the asphalt as I push down on the pedal, gaining speed over the highway. The sound of flipping pages makes my jaw clench, and I grip the steering wheel tighter. To my right, Colton is searching each member file of The Lair.
It’s unlikely that the UNSUB is in those files. It’s possible that he found access into the top levels of the club another way. Paying off a bouncer. Stealing an identity. Simply sneaking past all detection.
But I have to trust Quinn’s method here: follow each lead until we reach the end. We have to analyze every member—only I’m so terrified we’re already out of time.
Avery.
Applying more pressure to the accelerator, I weave my Honda in and out of traffic, zipping past honking cars as they pull off to the side.
Somehow, I made her a target. Her proximity to me at work couldn’t be the only reason the UNSUB chose to abduct her. There’s more, another purpose. There has to be.
Her last message to me feels as if it’s burning a hole in my jacket pocket. The need to pull the note out and read it again consumes me. I’ve already studied it, trying to discern some meaning, some code…
Colton’s touch draws me out of my frenzied thoughts, and I expel a shaky breath.
“You’ll find her,” he says, his hand giving my thigh a comforting squeeze. “Ease off the gas, Sadie. You can’t help anyone if we wreck.”
Nodding, I lick my lips and slowly lift my foot. “Did you find anything…anyone?”
“Two potentials so far.” Colton releases me and resumes his search. “I’m starting with location first. Anyone who has lived in the downstate area over the past three years, and who’s recently moved here. Although you said the UNSUB would be aware of law enforcement methods. So if he’s in here, I doubt he gave us truthful information.”
Right. Exactly. The profile states a lot of things that are in direct conflict with our current course of action. We have to go against logic here, because the UNSUB is aware of the profile, too. He’s known every move within the department before we’ve made it. And he’s predicting our next.
“By abducting Avery, he’s counting on me making a mistake,” I say. “I’m too close. He knows I’ve made a connection, and he’s trying to rattle me. Trying to force me into making a mistake.”
“Then don’t.” Colton closes a file and turns toward me.
His gaze penetrates my defenses, and just for a moment, I feel the burn of tears behind my eyes. In this car’s intimate confines, I don’t have to pretend. I don’t have to be brave or distant, shutting out an unsure, threatening world.
I’ve kept myself locked in that basement, afraid. Alone. Unwilling to trust. If I ever lowered my walls, I’d only find myself right back there. But it was always a threat against me—my fear. I never once thought someone else would take my place.
I would switch with Avery in a heartbeat if I could.
“Oh, my God.” Flipping the blinker, I pull off the highway and onto the long stretch of road that wraps the ACPD building.
“What is it?” Colton is already collecting the files and the amended profile I hastily compiled back at The Lair.
I park in the closest space to the front doors, ignoring the posted, assigned name. I go through the motions of putting the car in Park and killing the engine, stuffing evidence into my bag, my mind on autopilot.
“Sadie?”
I find and hold Colton’s gaze, frightened of this realization. “He wants me, Colton.”
His expression shutters as his striking features pull into hard lines. “He’s not going to—”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “He wants me. Not Avery. The why or the for what isn’t important. Not anymore. I can’t waste time trying to uncover his delusion. But I can use it. I can make him believe he’ll get what he wants.”
“What the hell are you saying? That you’ll use yourself as bait? Fuck that… No.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time…and I’m trained. I have field experience and I’m the most qualified to deal with the UNSUB on a psychological platform. And—” I reach over and take his hand “—it has to be part of the reason why he chose Avery. He wants me to take her place.”
“That’s exactly why you are not doing it.” His voice is raw, grating against my resolve.
“I don’t have time to look for another answer. This is the only way to get her back alive.”
Our eyes stay locked, time seemingly suspended around us by this defining moment. I’m not asking his permission; my mind is already made up. I’m simply letting him know my choice. Hoping he will support me, regardless of what it will cost us.
“You’re not the only one he wants, goddess.” His hand cups my cheek, his palm rough, yet strong and comforting against my skin.
I shut my eyes. Feel his strength and determination. “I know. But he wants you out of the way. It’s not the same. His revenge for me goes deeper.” As I open my eyes, I’m decided. “I can save Avery.”
“And you will,” he says. “But I refuse to lose you—in any way, shape or form. Whether it’s physically or mentally…I won’t lose one single piece of you to him.”
He dips toward my knees and pushes the lever beneath my seat. As I�
��m propelled backward away from the steering wheel, his sure hands clasp my waist. In one swift, strong move, he has me over the console and on his lap.
“Colton…” I lower my chin, letting my hair conceal my face. “There’s no time—”
He palms my face, forcing my eyes to meet his intense blue gaze. “There’s always time for us. Especially when it comes to making you understand that I will never let you sacrifice yourself.” His lips crash against mine, stealing my breath and replacing my heartache with need.
My arms circle his neck as I pull him close, unable to sate the sudden, unbearable yearning to connect with him. Be a part of him. For him to chase away the fear, the fury, and protect me from the past reaching up from the corners of my mind to haunt me.
But I can’t be lost. No matter how badly I crave oblivion, Colton makes me feel. From the moment he first touched me, first branded me, I couldn’t ignore those overpowering emotions, despite how foreign they were. I am no longer teetering on the edge of two worlds—I am wholly and irrevocably his. I’m home.
I belong.
As he deepens the kiss, he grasps my nape, bringing me closer still. His hard want presses against me, ratcheting my desire. He moves to my neck, and I suck in a breath past the onslaught of sensations as his free hand travels under my dress, up my thigh, possessively caressing the ache between my legs.
He breaks away to whisper against my lips, “I need to hear you say it. Tell me you won’t do anything to put yourself in danger.” His heated gaze sears me. “Promise me, Sadie.”
I bite my lip, desperate to give myself over to him—to assuage the fear I feel drumming beneath my hand as his heart beats wildly. But it’s not a promise I can make. I don’t know where this will lead or end.
He expels a heavy breath, rests his forehead against mine. “This isn’t a request, goddess—it’s a demand. I need to know we’ll make it through this—”
“We will,” I say, gripping his shirt, my hand fisted so tightly around the material my knuckles ache.
His mouth seals over mine, coaxing the promise from me in his own way. I can feel his intent with each lip-crushing kiss. His tongue whispers his vow as he strokes the seam of my mouth, then dives deeper until our breath becomes one desperate plea between us.
“Come for me,” he says. “I need to make you come.”
A jolt of awareness rushes me. I glance around the parking lot. It’s early…vacant, but— Colton arrests my senses before I can object, expertly working my underwear aside.
“Don’t tell me no,” he says as the rough pads of his fingers slip into my sensitive folds. He finds my center and pushes inside, releasing a groan at the feel of my slick arousal for him. “This is what you need—what I need. I’ll never deny you. It’s not selfish, goddess. Not when we’re designed differently.”
I grip his hair, undulating my hips on top of him as he shamelessly brings me to the edge. His thumb swirls over my clit as I grind against him, the feel of his erection, his desire for me, making me bold.
I attempt to check the parking lot, but he seizes my gaze, his grip in my hair forcefully commanding my face toward his. “Look at me. Not them. Don’t be afraid of who you really are, goddess. We play by different rules. Always above them, because we embrace our dark deeds. Never denying ourselves. Not anymore.”
His mouth captures the band of rope around my wrist, his teeth tightening the cord until it bites into my skin. The coarse fibers graze my flesh, heightening every sensation. My eyes close as I slip into ecstasy.
A soft moan escapes my lips as I break and he’s there to catch it, his mouth swallowing my release as he drinks me in.
As I come down, the climax fading into ripples of pleasure skittering over my skin, I open my eyes. “I’m terrified,” I admit.
The knot of his throat bobs on a hard swallow. “You’re not leaving me. I promise you that.”
“And I’m not losing you,” I say, letting the desperation leak from my voice.
His eyes narrow. “Never.”
“Then you have to trust me to do what I have to in order to help Avery.”
Another heavy breath, then, “We’ll talk about this later, when Quinn can back me up on how crazy this is and that it’s not ever happening. I can at least count on him for that.” His firm expression morphs into confusion. “Wait. What did you say before? That it wouldn’t have been the first time… What aren’t you telling me?”
My lips part, my mouth dry—the words right on the tip of my tongue. Colton has bared his soul to me, has trusted me with his darkest secret. A secret that would destroy his life if it were ever revealed. It’s the kind of secret that would shatter any other two people—but not us.
It binds us together. Makes us the same—if only just.
But that’s the distinction. The very narrow disparity that casts him in light, and keeps me shrouded by darkness. The crucial variable that separates us.
What he did in his past was out of love, compassion, and mercy. My choices…my actions…were purely executed out of revenge. Loathing. Despair. Colton deserves to know the truth of me, but God, I’m terrified. So fucking terrified to stand before him with complete transparency.
“Goddess…” His fingers rove over my face, his eyes seeking a crack in my armor.
“Not here,” I finally say. Taking a deep breath, I revel in his touch a moment longer. I know he’ll wait for me—but there is an expiration date. And it’s approaching fast. “I need to be focused on Avery right now. But I promise…”
“I’m patient, Sadie. As long as it takes.” Then his lips are on mine, slowly and tenderly caressing my fears away. I cling to him, to that promise. I cling so hard I can taste the loss in his kiss. What I will lose when the time comes. A deep pang hollows out my chest as the truth of it crushes me.
I can’t lose this. I only just found him.
A swell of blaring sirens breaks us apart, and I whip around to see squad cars rushing past. “We have to go. Quinn’s gathering the task force.”
* * *
The mood inside the department is fragile. Tension suffocates the air, strangling the camaraderie. Where a strike against one of our own should band us together, creating a unified, unstoppable force, there’s a looming current of suspicion that threatens to unravel the department.
The UNSUB could be one of us.
It seethes in the looks I get as I hurry through the bullpen. It festers in the chaos crippling an otherwise structured task force. I understand why I’m being targeted; I’ve been barred from the case, and now I’m pushing my way through with a suspect at my side. Not only did I get Colton released from questioning, but I’m including him—an outsider—in the investigation.
When all this is over, I’ll be reprimanded. Maybe even discharged and investigated myself. There’s a chance—a very likely chance—that I’ll be found guilty of obstruction…or worse. But none of that matters just as long as I can bring Avery back.
As I turn the corner toward my office, I spot Quinn. His eyes widen a second before he’s gunning for me. It feels like this morning has lasted a week already. As if it’s been much longer than the hour it’s taken to get Quinn up to speed on Avery’s situation and for Colton and me to reach the station.
Quinn hands off a document to a uniform and steps in my path. “My office. Now.” His attention is momentarily diverted toward Colton. “You—” He points toward a chair. “Sit and go nowhere.”
“We don’t have time for this shit, Quinn,” I say, trying and failing to get around his sizable form. “We can do this however you want…but later. Avery is all that matters right now.”
I look up into his rugged face, my eyes pleading. I don’t have the strength to be angry, or demanding. I will beg on Avery’s behalf. Quinn’s gaze softens, and I can see the misery and worry he’s suffered since the news of Avery’s abduction hit.
“My office, Bonds.”
I glance back at Colton and nod firmly. “Please continue to—”
<
br /> “I’m on it.” He holds up the files.
I offer him a grateful smile before I’m escorted into Quinn’s office. I turn, my mouth already parted as I prepare to defend my place on the task force, but the sight of Lyle Connelly steals my breath. A blown-up image of his face hangs on Quinn’s whiteboard. A collection of data about his whereabouts is scattered around his photo. Red string connects points on a map, denoting sightings.
“So you did hear me,” I say, walking toward the clear board. “I knew you would look into him. You put this together last night?”
“I started it…but I didn’t dig in until Avery. Jesus, Sadie. Tell me what the fuck is going on.” I turn to see him drive a hand through his hair, his blue tie hanging loose over a rumpled white shirt.
An ache blisters the back of my throat. “I need to tell you—”
“No, you know what?” He storms toward me and anchors his large hands to my arms, holding me securely before him. “Don’t tell me. Don’t say a word.”
“Quinn, I have to—”
“Bonds, the only thing that counts right now, this second, is finding our M.E. You hear me? Do you understand?” His eyes fill with an alarming desperation, and his hands latch on harder, as if any word that passes my lips will tear me from his grasp. “I can’t do anything with that information right now. Nothing. Because I need you on this case.”
With a heavy sigh, he releases me and heads to his desk where he pulls out an evidence bag. He removes my phones and tosses me one and then the other.
Awkwardly, I catch both and grip them by my sides. “I’m back in? That simple?”
He nods once. “When we nail this bastard and Avery’s safe, you know I’ll have to investigate.”
“I know.” And I do. It has nothing to do with us—it’s not personal. Quinn also swore an oath, but unlike me, he doesn’t believe in gray areas. It’s all black and white. He’s always been by the book. I don’t fault him at all.
“Until then…” He walks around the desk, his shoulders squared, his head higher despite his obvious exertion. “You’re my partner on this.”
