And it wouldn't. Just a little hiccup in the cross-dimensional matrix. Yet, the very idea annoyed him. Any Armageddon worth doing was worth doing right. When she wasn't looking, he edged over and gave the errant candle a spectral nudge in the right direction. Tammy blasted him with a spirit bolt. His body collapsed into a puddle of blackened ectoplasm.
She calmly readjusted the candle. "I know what I'm doing. Now go and sit in the corner before I splatter you all over your precious diner."
He conceded, slithering into a booth.
The sun set, and a smothering black rolled up like ebony fog. It was almost as if the whole of Creation had vanished. That if one stepped out the door of Gil's All Night Diner, they'd tumble into oblivion. The only light at all came from the moon. The glowing crescent cast down a hard glare that shone upon the diner like a spotlight. As it rose, it grew brighter and fuller. And larger, as if drawing closer and closer to the earth, pulled downward by the unnatural collapse of space. The light filtered through the windows, bending and arcing in ways that defied physics, shining on hideous faces shimmering in the air through the thinning dimensional veil.
Time dragged. Tammy grew impatient. The old gods grew impatient. They filled her mind with hideous growls and shrieks, but when the time of the casting finally drew near, half past seven-thirty, they quieted down to allow her to concentrate.
She called Chad in, performed some last minute checks, and began.
She handed her follower a large knife. "When the moon is full and the sky is red, you have to plunge this in Duke's heart."
"Me?" He held the knife away from him in two awkward hands. "But I haven't ever, uhmm, well, why can't you do it?"
"Because you have to."
"But—"
"But what?" She put both hands on his neck and squeezed with delicate, impossibly strong fingers. "Did you think you could earn the favor of the old gods without shedding blood?"
"Uh. . well."
"Did you think you could ascend to godhood without first proving yourself?" She chuckled. "You stupid son of a bitch. There's no such thing as a free ride."
"But. . "
She pulled him close. Her breath smelled of rot.
"You'll kill him, Chad. It's a great responsibility. The final sacrifice. I know you won't let me down."
"No, Mistress Lilith," he gasped.
"That's my boy."
She let him go and began the Incantation of Reborn Darkness in a quiet mumble.
The knife trembled in Chad's hands. He glanced from the blade to the moon to Duke's body. Something sinister bubbled up in his brain. It was the chorus of hell, and he surrendered to it. It swallowed his conscience and doubts, leaving him with a numb indifference. The moon ascended. Shadows slipped across its face as it grew bigger.
Tammy chanted in ever-increasing volume.
". . And the sacrifice shall be made by one who knows not what he does, and the blood shall wash away the Fetters of Ages. The Gate shall swing wide, and Frush'ee'aghov the Lesser shall be the first. And he shall open his eye and behold the world. In beholding it, he shall unmake the cursed guardians of light. And the old gods will step onto the Earth, and the blight of man shall be wiped away."
Her voice echoed deep and long. Shapes squirmed beneath the floor like malformed sharks swimming just below the surface. Chad held the knife over his head and watched the moon.
"Ee-Thay age-ay of-ay ight-lay ill-way end-ay oonight-tay. Frush'ee'aghov, eye-ay offer-ay ee-thay is-thay aste-tay of-ay udd-blay at-thay ou-yay ite-may eepare-pray ee-thay orld-way oo-tay eceeve-ray or-yay others-bray."
Chad's muscles tightened to deliver the deathblow.
Duke twitched. His head was practically healed, but Chad didn't dare strike before the sign was given.
Tammy kept chanting. Her masters joined in, filling the diner with a thousand inhuman voices. The very earth grumbled beneath them.
A red haze crept across the moon's twisted face.
Cathy pushed her way through the dark soup of the last night. The closer she got to the diner, the more resistance her ectoplasm met — as if the old gods knew her intent and were trying to keep her away. She pushed on, even when she couldn't see anything at all. As long as it kept getting harder, she figured it had to be the right direction. Just when she thought it would become too thick to continue, she broke through.
The diner pulsed and throbbed. Hundreds of bestial spirits wormed their way from the concrete walls and gathered in a gray cloud made of screaming, twisted grimaces.
She bit back the urge to run shrieking into the night and peeked through the large front window. Knife in hand, Chad stood over Duke's body. Tammy chanted. Gil Wilson watched on. There was no sign of Earl.
"Crap."
With Gil around, she needed protection. Her phantom baseball bat materialized in her hands again. She went around and walked through the back wall. The pool of Duke's blood rumbled and growled. Loretta and Sheriff Kopp stood to one side.
Tammy's chant roared from the front.
"Eyes-ray! Eyes-ray! Eyes-ray! Frush'ee'aghov, Frush'ee 'aghov, Frush'ee'aghov! Eyes-ray! Eye-ay ive-gay ee-thay urld-way oo-tay oo-yay! Eyes-ray!"
The diner slurped down Duke's blood through a pinhole interdimensional drain in the floor. A disfigured limb, part hand, part hoof, forced its way upward.
Something growled from behind Cathy. Then it yipped excitedly.
"Napoleon!" The dog jumped in her arms. Half his head was missing, but she had more pressing problems.
"Where's Earl, boy? Where's Earl?"
Napoleon lapped at her face with half of a wet tongue.
"I'm glad to see you, too, boy, but where's Earl? I have to find Earl."
The ghostly terrier wagged his tail enthusiastically.
"Never mind. I'll find him myself."
She let him down. He circled her legs as she went to the storeroom. Earl lay in an open steamer trunk. She set down her bat and grabbed the stake in his chest. "Come on, Earl. I need you. The world needs you."
An ectoplasmic tentacle wrapped her neck and yanked her away. "I thought I heard something," Gil Wilson remarked. "Cathy, you foolish, foolish girl. I guess I'll have to kill you."
He knocked away her bat as she reached for it. She tried to pry off his choke-hold. He squeezed. The pressure was about to pop her head off her shoulders when Napoleon bit into Gil Wilson's butt. Gil yelped. Cathy slipped free and grabbed her bat.
Gil twisted and growled at the terrier attached to his rear end. Napoleon dug in deeper.
Cathy took advantage of the distraction to awaken Earl. She yanked, and the stake came halfway out.
Napoleon howled as Gil Wilson's arm distorted and sliced off his tail. The dog lost hold and fell away, whining.
"Fucking mutt!"
Cathy raised her bat to fend him off, but his arm snaked in an odd angle and knocked her down. She tumbled back. The stake arced through the air and bounced off a can of tomato soup. He was too intent on killing her to notice.
"Did you really think you could stop this from happening, you bitch? Are you really that stupid? Goddamn if I can understand what was going through that mind of yours. No matter. I'll enjoy killing you." He grinned. "And your little dog, too."
His gleaming dagger literally sliced through the air. Evil spirits slipped through the gash and flew up and away.
"Get the hell away from my girlfriend!"
Earl threw his arms around the specter. He opened his mouth wider than humanly possible and sank long, white fangs into Gil Wilson's neck, or the best possible approximation given the ghost's current blob-like shape.
The ghost screeched as Earl slurped down his soul. It burned his throat and seared his stomach, but he choked it down. It was the only way for a vampire to kill a ghost. Wilson tried to ooze away but escape was impossible once the fangs were in. He could only bluster and flail while his ectoplasmic form dissolved.
"This is my destiny! Nothing can stop me! Nothing! Not even death!"
Earl inhaled the last of Gil Wilson. He grimaced and spat. "Goddamn that guy tasted like shit." He lifted Cathy in a tight embrace and kissed her. "You're alive. Uh. . I mean you're not dead. Uh. . I mean you're here. I thought I'd lost you." He kissed her again, long and hard. "But how?"
"I'll explain later. Right now, we have to stop Duke."
"Stop him from what?"
"From starting the end of the world. He's going to make the final sacrifice."
"He wouldn't do that."
"He doesn't know he's going to. That's why you have to stop him."
Earl belched, and a shred of spirit fell from the corner of his mouth. The wiggling thing hissed in a tiny, tiny voice.
"A god. A god."
Cathy squished the pathetic ectoplasmic speck beneath her sneaker. It expired with a squeal.
Deep red light shone beneath the storeroom door.
"Hurry up. It's almost time!"
"Eyes-ray! Eyes-ray! Eyes-ray!"
Tammy threw her arms wide and gazed into a ceiling alive with writhing tentacles, dripping maws, and shadowy beings of the outer realms straining against the stucco.
"With this offering, I grant thee passage, Frush'ee'aghov! Your time is nigh! Im-sway ee-thay iver-ray of-ay ud-blay at-thay oo-yay ite-may anish-bay ee-thay ite-lay! Eyes-ray! Eyes-ray!"
The scarlet moon cast a crimson glow through the diner windows. The air became the color of blood.
"Now, Chad! Do it now!"
Her disciple didn't hesitate. He drove the kitchen knife deep into Duke's heart. It would have been a fatal blow to the werewolf if the blade had been made of silver. But it wasn't, and all it did was jerk Duke out of his pseudo-death slumber.
One meaty hand grabbed Chad by the throat. The beast tore its way free of Duke's flesh. The towering, hairy wolf howled. His lips drew back in a drooling snarl. He raised a massive clawed hand.
Earl threw open the kitchen door. "Wait, Duke! Don't do it!"
His cries fell on deaf ears. Duke didn't lose his temper often, but when he did, his rage was terrible to behold. After being beaten and stabbed, he reached levels of pissed off even he didn't know he had, and something had to die. Chad was just the most convenient target.
A flash of claws was all it took. Three precise strokes ripped Chad open like a package. His guts spilled to the floor. The stain swallowed the offering with a wailing shriek. Duke tossed aside the corpse as he turned on Tammy. He sprang. An unseen force snatched him from the air and threw him away. He landed beside Earl and Cathy. The jarring blow served to calm him down a touch.
From deep in the earth, the old gods shrieked their rejoicing.
"Goddamn it, Duke," Earl grumbled. "You stupid prick. You just ended the world, you stupid mother—"
Tammy cackled. Her body cracked and warped. Her limbs grew long and spiderlike. Gray streaked her living hair. Her mouth grew to three times its size. Dozens of misshapen teeth poked through bleeding gums.
She spoke with a thousand voices, not one of them human. "The sacrifice shall be made by he who knows not what he does. The Gate shall swing wide, and Frush'ee'aghov the Lesser shall be the first."
Chad's blood collected itself into the black pool. It ate into the floor. A hot wind poured forth. Every glass object in the diner shattered into crystalline powder.
"And he shall open his eye and behold the world and unmake the light. And the old gods shall step upon the world!"
An immense column of slime thrust through the hole. On its tip was a single closed eyelid. Frush'ee'aghov rose higher, smashing his way through the diner's roof.
"Nice going, dipshit," Earl sighed.
And the eye of Frush'ee'aghov slowly began to open.
It is said by those who study such forbidden knowledge that the old gods existed before time itself, and that they would exist long after eternity has crumbled into oblivion. For such timeless beings, a thousand years is but a blink of the eye. Frush'ee'aghov the Lesser, harbinger of the old gods, was eager to extinguish the light, but time passes slowly for an eternal evil, even an impatient one. The tremendous lids parted to reveal a thin, yellow slit. Dimness spilled over the world like a gray haze covering the universe.
Tammy's thousand voices cackled. She stood before Frush 'ee'aghov, hands raised, chanting in a language older than humanity.
Earl, Duke, and Cathy squatted behind the kitchen counter, happy to be ignored for the moment.
"Goddamn it, Duke," Earl whispered. "You picked a helluva time to lose your temper."
The werewolf growled.
"Watch'a gonna do?" Earl said. "Kill me? Too late for that. You've already killed everybody. And pull that knife out already."
Duke yanked the blade from his chest with a snarl.
Earl couldn't honestly say he was surprised by this turn of events. Life seemed out to screw up his happiness as long as he could remember. And now that he'd found Cathy, hell had to bubble up and claim the world. It made perfect sense, really.
He squeezed her hand.
"I love you."
The words just blurted out. He hadn't said them many times in his hundred years, but there was nothing like the end of the world to put things into perspective. He was glad he'd said it. He'd have been even gladder had she been listening.
A thoughtful expression across her face, Cathy stared at Frush'ee'aghov.
Earl cleared his throat. "Uh, I just wanted you to know that before. . "
Cathy spoke without taking her eyes off the slimy column. "We can still stop it, Earl. We can send him back before it's too late."
"How?"
"We have to sever his ties to this plane. We have to disrupt the portal and kill Tammy."
"I'll take care of Tammy," Duke said.
He vaulted over the counter and pounced upon the chanting girl. Vicious swiping claws tore her to pieces. She never stopped chanting. Even after her head was ripped from her shoulders, she kept singing the dirge of the old gods. The floor split, and a monstrous tentacle grew behind him. It swatted aside the eight-hundred-pound werewolf with a casual swipe.
Tammy's bits and pieces rose and reassembled themselves. She stopped chanting and strode toward Duke with a gleeful sneer. Her own voice, barely recognizable, boiled to the top of a thousand others. "It's a little late for that, dumbass."
Duke hunched. His eyes reddened with the bloodlust. The man was gone. Only the beast remained, and once it set its mind to killing someone, that person usually wound up dead. Tammy might prove an exception, but the fact she was still alive only enraged him further.
The mutating energies of the old gods threw Tammy's body into chaos. A pair of twisted limbs sprouted from her back. Her neck stretched three feet. Black claws extended from her fingertips. Her skin dripped away to reveal gray, mottled flesh beneath.
Had he an ounce of reason left in him, Duke would have turned and ran, but the wolf wanted blood.
As did Tammy. She crouched on all six and grinned. "You want a piece, little doggie? Come on, and take it."
They sprang. Fang and claw clashed. Flesh ripped. Fur and hair flew. Snarls and growls overwhelmed the shrieks of the old gods. The two monsters spun round and round in a bloody clash. And though Duke gave better than he got, Tammy's wounds healed in moments. His own powers of regeneration weren't holding up nearly as well. Though Earl hadn't thought it possible before, he knew Duke was going to lose this fight.
The vampire moved to join Duke. If he was going to die anyway, might as well go down fighting.
Cathy stopped him. "No, Earl. It won't do any good. She can't die as long as the portal is open."
"How do you know that?"
"It's not important. You've got to trust me."
Earl didn't need much convincing. He already trusted her, and whether she knew what she was talking about or not, he didn't have any better ideas.
"How do we close it?"
"We have to disrupt the inter dimensional matrix."
"Matrix?"
"The
diner."
"Shit. How are we supposed to destroy this place?"
"We don't have to. We just have to do enough damage to upset the energies holding open the Gate." She pointed to the thick support column. "That right there is the central energy drain. If we destroy it, Frush'ee'aghov will be sent back." She focused on the remnant memories of Gil Wilson. "I think."
"You think, or you know?"
"I know. I think."
The eye of Frush'ee'aghov opened wider. The air turned the consistency of thick coal dust. "Goddamn," Earl sighed, "I hope you're right."
He took her hand and headed for the door. Earl could barely see ten feet through the darkness. He skirted whipping tendrils and smoky crevices. Mere feet from the door, the dark parted to reveal Tammy standing between them and the outside.
"Naughty, naughty. Nobody leaves this party early."
Earl pushed Cathy behind him and switched into full vampire-combat mode. At moments like these he envied werewolves. All he could do was show her his fangs and call upon his scary, undead voice (which wasn't nearly as scary as Tammy's current voices) and try to look intimidating.
"Get out of our fuckin' way!"
"Make me."
Tammy slapped him aside, slashing open his cheek. He stumbled to the wayside.
Cathy swung her bat. The ectoplasmic sphere was one of the half-dozen dimensions brought to the surface of reality by the opened Gate. The spectral bat cracked across Tammy's face. Her long neck swished back and forth like a pendulum. Cathy took a second swing. Tammy caught the blow in one hand. She snatched the ghost up and dangled her over a pit falling through the interdimensional void.
Duke, a streak of black and red fur, crashed into Tammy. The werewolf and the priestess tumbled into the thick fog of unnatural night. Cathy's spirit body fell victim to expectations of gravity. She clung to the pit edge with slipping fingers.
Inhuman shadows hissed and shrieked below. Something slithered around her ankle.
Earl took her arms and yanked her onto solid ground.
She could see the inside of his mouth through the cuts in his face. "Oh my god, are you okay?"
"Just a scratch."
Gil's All Fright Diner Page 18