by Aimee Said
For some reason, the thought of Simon defending me tipped me over the edge, and before I could bite my lip or count to ten or pinch myself or any of the other tricks you learn to stop yourself from crying in public, there were tears in my eyes.
Maz put her arm around my shoulder and stroked my hair. “You’ll get through this,” she whispered in my ear. “I promise.”
“Oi, oi,” bellowed a voice across the room. “Looks like it runs in the family!”
Maz and I sprang apart, but not before Mitch’s yelling had attracted the attention of the entire library.
“Get stuffed, Mitch,” said Maz. “You can see Al’s upset.”
“I would be too if I found out my sister was a raving lezza. Worse luck, Larrie’s little sister.” He laughed all the way to the Year Twelve common room.
“You’ll get through this,” repeated Maz, handing me my books and leading me towards the Science block.
Al Miller needs a rock to hide under.
22
If school was weird, home was positively surreal. Larrie had barely left her room all week except to take her stress out on me, leaving notes on the fridge to remind me I hadn’t sorted the recyclable plastics properly, and banging on her bedroom wall if I made the slightest noise. She may have had Mum and Dad convinced that she was locked away studying all day and night, but if the way her phone was going off at all hours was any indication, there was a lot more going on. By Friday I was a wreck. The thought of seeing Josh at the SkoolDaze rehearsal that night was the only thing that got me through my morning classes.
My nerves were so shaky, I almost ran straight back to the library when Prad sat next to me at lunch. “I’m very, very sorry about yesterday,” he said, glancing warily at Maz.
Apology out of the way, and without waiting for me to accept or reject it, Prad turned to Simon and started raving about a music video that’d gone viral overnight.
“He really does feel bad about what he said, despite appearances to the contrary,” said Maz.
“I’m sure people are saying far worse things. I suppose I’d better get used to it, unless I can prove them wrong.”
“Two weeks to go,” Maz reminded me, “and then it’s bye-bye Larrie and all of her baggage.”
The rarely used school loudspeaker crackled to life before I could inform her that it was exactly one week and six days.
“Allison Miller report to Ms Brand’s office immediately. Allison Miller to the deputy principal.”
“What have you done now?”
I searched my mind for any misdemeanours Brandy might have witnessed lately, but came up blank. “I honestly don’t know.”
Brandy was waiting for me in her interrogation room office. She was obviously not doing anything other than waiting for me, but she still made me hover outside her door for five minutes while she shuffled the papers on her desk from one pile to another.
Finally, both piles sufficiently in order, she gave an annoyed tsk and said, “Come in, Allison,” as if I’d kept her waiting. I sat on the rickety chair on the other side of her desk. We were barely a metre apart.
“I think you know why you’re here,” she said, showering me with stale-ashtray-and-instant-coffee breath.
I blocked my nostrils, wondering whether it was my imagination or if the walls really were closing in on us. “No, Miss, I really don’t.”
“There’s been a lot of … talk these past few days. Malicious, scandal-mongering talk, no doubt fuelled by jealousy and petty vindictiveness.”
Did she know about Larrie and Beth? It certainly seemed to be the main topic of conversation among Whitlam’s students, but I didn’t think it’d reached the staffroom yet.
“I’m sure you are aware that Whitlam takes a dim view of such things. If I was to find out that someone was spreading rumours about another student, I would be forced to take very swift, very stern action.”
I was lost. Was Brandy trying to let me know that if she heard anyone gossiping about me she’d punish them? Or was she accusing me of spreading the rumours about Larrie?
“Your sister is nothing but a credit to this school and I won’t have her years of hard work undone. Do I make myself clear?”
Okay, she was accusing me. I opened my mouth to defend myself, but Brandy was back to her paper shuffling. “Close the door on your way out.”
I shut the door as hard as I could get away with without being told off. I was fuming. Leaving Whitlam for another school by choice was one thing, but being forced into it was out of the question. The only way to fix things was for Larrie to tell Brandy I had nothing to do with the rumours.
“What did Brandy want?” said Maz when we caught up again before Science.
“Can you believe she thinks I’m the one behind all this Larrie stuff?”
“Are you?” Nicko sounded only mildly surprised.
“No! Why would I do that?”
Nicko shrugged. “Because you hate her?”
Did Nicko seriously think I’d do something like this? To my own sister? If that’s the kind of person he thought I was, then I really had an image problem to fix. Before I could set him straight Ms Morales arrived and everyone scattered to sit at their benches.
Ending the day with double Science was bad enough, but when Ms Morales announced that the lesson was about sibling inheritance I almost ran out of the lab.
“Hands up if you have brothers or sisters,” she said.
Half the class raised their hands.
“And who thinks they’re a lot like their siblings?”
About ten people kept their hands up. I lowered mine.
“Allison, you don’t think you and Larissa are alike?”
“No, Miss,” I said, silently cursing her for singling me out. “Aside from a few physical similarities.”
“Really? I’ll be interested to see how you demonstrate that in your assignment.”
I nodded with fake confidence. Ms Morales didn’t look like she bought it, but she continued with the lesson. Now all I had to do was prove I was right in my assignment.
After what Brandy had said, my need to know whether the rumours were true outweighed my discomfort about broaching the topic with Larrie. I seized my chance when I heard her go into our bathroom, tiptoeing to the door and opening it without knocking.
Larrie was staring at herself in the mirror, as if she didn’t recognise the face looking back at her. When she saw my reflection behind hers she scowled. “You can’t come into the bathroom while I’m using it.”
Her arm shot out to close the door, but I wedged it open with my foot. “Larrie, I need to talk to you.”
“I don’t have time to talk. I’ve got revision to do.”
“Well, you’re not revising now, are you?”
Larrie picked up a sponge and gave the basin a half-hearted wipe. “That’s because this bathroom’s so filthy I can’t stand it any more. You haven’t scrubbed the shower in over a month.”
“Larrie, this is important. The whole school’s talking about–”
An expression halfway between terror and rage flashed across Larrie’s face. “Mum! Al won’t let me study.”
“Allison Miller, leave your sister alone right now!” shouted Mum. “If I have to come up there …”
When I turned to yell back at Mum that I was only trying to talk to Larrie about something, and that she wasn’t in fact studying, Larrie took the opportunity to kick my foot out of the way and slam the bathroom door behind her. I heard the lock click from the inside.
I checked my watch. I had an hour to change out of my uniform and into something Josh-worthy and get to school for the battle of the bands rehearsal. Larrie would have to wait.
Al Miller is near the end of her rope.
23
Maz and Simon were waiting for me outside the hall. The atmosphere among the three of us was strained. I’d forbidden Maz from talking about the whole Larrie thing around Simon, and she’d forbidden me from talking about Josh in front of hi
m. Plus, Simon hadn’t been his usual cheerfully oblivious self since my outburst in the library.
“I don’t know why we had to get here so early,” he complained.
“To see what the other groups are planning,” said Maz. “If Vertigo Pony’s going to stand out on the big night, we need stage presence.”
“Isn’t that what the music’s for?” asked Simon.
I swallowed my smile, knowing how stressed Maz was about this rehearsal. Each of the groups in the SkoolDaze final had half an hour on stage to run through their full set and work out their staging details. For Vertigo Pony’s slot, I was on banner duty; Maz was in charge of everything else. She would’ve tried to play the guys’ instruments for them if she was able to sprout six extra arms, just to make sure nothing could go wrong.
The hall was buzzing with a crowd of nervous band members and their supporters. While Maz scoped the competition, I kept my eyes peeled for Josh. When I spotted him, I waved both hands above my head to get his attention.
“Hi there, Larrie’s-much-more-talented-and-gorgeous-sister,” he said when he reached us, giving me a hug so tight it almost lifted me off the ground.
In an instant the knot that had been twisting in my stomach all week disappeared. What was it about Josh that made me feel so good? And how could I get more of it?
I pretended not to see Maz and Simon roll their eyes at each other when Josh offered me a bite of his Power Kick bar. “Dinner on the run,” he explained.
“You know, those so-called energy bars are mainly simple sugars,” said Simon. “Some of them have less nutritional value than lollies.”
Josh took a deliberate bite and eyed Simon up and down as if he was sizing up which of them would win in a fight. Simon didn’t react, possibly because – being a head taller than Josh – he didn’t notice. Whatever his reason, I could see Josh getting more tense by the second, and I didn’t want Maz to blame me when he smeared Simon all over the floor. I thrust my watch in Josh’s face. “Look at the time! We’d better find somewhere to sit before the show starts.”
“You’re right. Come and meet the guys.” Josh nodded towards where a group of Year Elevens was standing.
“Nicko and Prad are saving us seats up the back,” said Maz in a tone that made it clear she expected me to sit with them.
“I’ll see you before you go on.” I shot her a look that I hoped said I’m-sorry-but-I-can’t-miss-this-opportunity-please-don’t-be-angry-with-me. I wasn’t sure it had conveyed its full meaning since Maz responded with a scowl.
I hung behind Josh while he and his mates performed their bonding ritual (back slaps and noogies on the head, calling each other “fag” like it was a compliment). When they finished, Josh introduced me with a, “You all know Al Miller, right?” From their smirks, I was fairly sure they all knew of me, or at least of my (in)famous sister. Only one of them bothered to say “hi”.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any more awkward, Rochelle Sullivan and two other girls I recognised from the soccer game came up to Josh to gush about his winning goal. I was beginning to think maybe I should go and find Maz after all when Josh pulled me towards him.
“It was nice chatting with you, girls, but I don’t want my date to think I’m neglecting her,” he said, squeezing my waist. “Excuse us.”
His date! So what if it was cheesy and Maz would have retched if she’d heard him; Rochelle’s glare told me she’d kill to be Josh’s date. The girls promised to see Josh at the next match and headed towards the stage, but not before Rochelle said in a mock whisper, “You’d think he’d be more picky about who he hangs out with. Doesn’t he know shit sticks?”
“Everything okay?” asked Josh when he saw my shocked expression.
I nodded and forced a smile. “It’s kind of stuffy in here. I think I need some fresh air.”
“I like your thinking,” he said with a wink.
I didn’t correct Josh’s interpretation; better he thought I was angling to get him alone than knew I’d been wounded by the barbs of a Year Nine. The metal bench that ran the length of the outside of the hall was cold against the bare backs of my legs, but my knee felt like it was on fire in the spot where it brushed against Josh’s.
“I’m really glad you came tonight, Al. I know you must have a lot on your mind right now. I mean, I hope it’s okay for me to talk about the stuff with your sister.”
It wasn’t, but I couldn’t think of a way to tell Josh that. He took my hands between both of his. If we’d been standing up, I would’ve had a bad case of jelly knees. Fiery jelly knees.
“It’s okay.” I tried to keep my voice at an even pitch. “It’s not been my best week, but this is good.”
Josh grasped my hands more tightly. “I want you to know that if there’s anything I can do to make you feel better, all you have to do is ask.”
“I feel a bit better already, getting away from all that stuff for a while,” I said, hoping he’d take the hint that I didn’t want to talk about it.
He leaned towards me. “If that helps, how about I try a little harder?”
His lips brushed against mine, once, twice, and before I had a chance to think about it I was kissing him back. He tasted like energy bars – sweet and a bit sticky, but not in a bad way. I was relieved I’d thought to give my teeth an extra-thorough brushing before I left home. Just in case.
“Ahem,” coughed a voice in the darkness. “Maz said to tell you we’re on in five minutes.” Simon stood directly in front of us.
“I’ll be there in a sec,” I said, giving Simon the stink eye and unentwining Josh’s hands from my midsection.
Josh watched Simon skulk back to the hall. “I hope I haven’t got you into trouble with your friend.”
“He’ll be fine,” I assured him. “And I feel much, much better now, thank you.”
“My pleasure. If you ask me, there’s only one Miller sister worth knowing.”
I gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “I’d better go before Maz hunts me down.”
When I got to the hall, Maz was struggling with the banner while the others finished the sound check. I grabbed the other end of the sheet and hooked it onto the rod that ran behind the stage.
“Sorry, Mazzle, I lost track of the time.”
Maz’s disappointed frown rivalled one of Jay’s. “Don’t forget Mum’s picking us up at 9.30,” was all she said before taking her place behind the keyboard.
I positioned myself right in front of the stage, determined to give the best performance ever by a fan club president to make up for my earlier negligence. I started cheering when Prad counted in the first song and kept it up till they wound down to their final number, the love song. I probably would’ve cheered through that one too, if I hadn’t been caught off guard by a pair of strong arms wrapping around my waist. A waft of sweet breath near my ear told me who it was, but I turned as if I didn’t know, for the sake of seeing Josh’s smile. As I turned back to face the stage, he hugged me closer and we swayed together. I’d never been so disappointed to hear a song end.
As soon as the applause (led by me, even though it meant Josh had to let me go) was over, the band began packing up their gear to clear the stage for the next group. Josh pulled me back outside. I thought we were going back to the bench, but he kept walking until we were in the shadows of the building. He leaned against the trunk of a tree and pulled me to him.
“We’re less likely to be interrupted here,” he said with a sexy grin, making my knees do the jelly thing again.
As if on cue my phone buzzed. Maz’s message was short and to the point:
Car. Now.
Maz and Simon were too busy dissecting the other groups’ performances to talk about anything else on the drive home. I took it as a sign that Maz was letting me off without a lecture, but she phoned the moment she got home. I apologised again for messing up with the banner.
“That’s not what I’m calling about. Al … are you sure you know what you’re getting yourse
lf into with Josh? Because from what I’ve heard, he’s not the Prince Charming he makes himself out to be.”
I remembered how sweet Josh had been when we’d talked earlier in the night, and how good it felt when he held me during the love song. “I don’t know who your sources are, but I’d have thought that if this week had taught you anything, it’s that you shouldn’t believe everything you hear.”
“Maybe, but Simon and I don’t think Josh is right for you.”
I couldn’t help laughing. “I think it’s fair to say that as far as Simon’s concerned the only guy in the entire universe who’s right for me is Simon.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to rub his nose in it,” Maz reminded me before hanging up.
Al Miller is in too good a mood to care.
24
Josh was the first thing I thought of when I woke up the next morning. I lay in bed beaming to myself, remembering the feeling of his arms around me. Even the fact that it was only 6.37 and Larrie’s mobile was buzzing incessantly couldn’t spoil my good mood. Her phone had been going off at odd hours all week. I assumed it was her friends from school who’d heard the rumours, texting to say WTF? And possibly also, Beth? Seriously??
If Mum noticed any change in me on the drive to work, she didn’t show it. She reminded me tersely that she expected me to clean my room the minute I got home. I attempted some lighthearted jibes about the local yummy-mummy brigade who were out power walking en masse with their four-wheel drive prams, but by the time we pulled up outside Say Cheese, Mum hadn’t even cracked a smile. I figured she and Larrie must’ve had another fight while I was out last night.
I breezed through the morning, making happy chitchat as I rang up sales, rotating the stock in the fridge without being asked, and upselling Mr Dempster from Bland Land cheddar to a double Gloucester. What’s more, my good mood seemed to be infectious – every customer I served left smiling. I was thinking that this was the most fun I’d ever had at work when my phone buzzed in my pocket. If it was Josh, today was about to make it to my list of Top Ten Best Days Ever.
