Lexi scowls. “Meg.”
“Don’t you see why I’m so upset?” I slam down my spoon with enough force that pain radiates through my arm.
“I do.” Lexi reaches out to touch my arm, and her fingers are cool on my skin. “It sounds to me like you’re putting what happened with Randal and Marcy on Finn.”
I yank my arm away as I frown with disbelief.
“Trust me,” says Lexi. “If I had a bitchy ex, I wouldn’t want to vent about them to a new guy and scare him off either.”
“But he knows how I feel!” I reach over to grab the mixing bowl and thump it down in front of me again.
“Exactly. He knew you’d never give him a chance if you were aware he was divorced.” I open my mouth to fight back, but Lexi holds up her hand to stop me. “I know. It’s not the best way to start things off, but you’ve got to admit he didn’t have anything to lose.”
Lexi walks over to the pot sink, and I scowl as I consider what she said. I slap more balls of dough on the baking sheet in a loud rhythm. Finn planned to win me over, so I guess telling me the one thing that would send me running wasn’t in his best interest. He got to the top of his career because he’s a savvy negotiator, and of course he knew how to approach me. While I hate that he kept this from me, I have to admit I get why.
When Lexi returns with more baking trays, I sigh and say, “Okay. You may be right. But I hate feeling like I was a conquest.”
“A conquest of the heart, Meg. And love for both of you is the prize.” She sets her pans down. “I’m going to get started on the dinner rolls.”
As Lexi walks off toward the storage room, I realize she just gave me a justification for Finn’s actions that I need to consider. He loves me. He may want to win, but I would win too.
Since the first day he arrived, Finn has made it clear he wants me in his life. He’s been charming, but in a sincere way—at least when I compare it to the way Randal was. There was always a hint of something off with my ex I couldn’t pinpoint, but I ignored it. Finn’s actions leave no doubt in my mind his feelings are real. I recall the way he didn’t hold back and told me he loved me.
I call out to Lexi so she’ll hear me in the storage room. “You’re the worst, you know!”
I grab a chunk of cookie dough and toss it into my mouth. The sugar hits my tongue instantly, and I hold the food in my mouth to appreciate the flavor as I think about Finn. My heart feels as if it’s being squeezed in a strong fist. I recall how he said he wants a future for us. A house with a garden. Kids.
Randal and I never had that conversation. Looking back at our relationship, I realize he held back compared to the way Finn shows his emotions to me. Finn isn’t afraid to let me know how he feels or what he’s thinking. I smile to myself as I remember the way he pulled me back onto his lap after sex to cuddle. He’s a man who is willing to ask for what he wants.
Finn put himself out there when he said he loved me, and when I couldn’t say it back, he had the confidence and maturity to let it be okay. It hits me he’s the kind of person I want to be. He knew me as the shy mouse of a girl in college and still wanted me. He was actually attracted to who I was back then, and who I am now. And I’m pushing that away. What the hell is wrong with me?
Judging from the way Finn interacted with Brianne, I don’t think he harbors feelings for her. While she was emotional, he appeared cold and unaffected by her outburst. You don’t get like that if you’re still in love with a person. And since I know Finn wears his heart on his sleeve, I believe he really is over his ex-wife.
I plop the last bit of dough on a baking sheet as the wheels of Lexi’s cart of baking supplies rumble toward me. I smile at her as I say, “All done. Should I put them in the oven for you?”
“Shouldn’t you find Finn and talk to him instead?”
“I wish I could hate you right now.”
“Please. After this summer, you’re going to wonder how you ever lived without me, offer me a cushy job at your fancy restaurant, and we’ll continue the love-hate thing we’ve got going on.”
I tilt my head at her. “Did you just finagle a job for the winter out of me?”
She waggles her eyebrows at me. “I think I did.”
I chuckle with a combination of amusement and relief as I walk over to the sink. Water rushes as I wash my hands. I glance at the kitchen clock to see I have a half hour left of my break. I hope that’s enough time to find Finn and apologize for my reaction earlier.
When I leave the kitchen, I head toward the archery range, where Finn should be. As I get closer, I hear the dull thud of an arrow hitting a hay target, and I approach as quietly as I can so I don’t disturb a shooter. As I enter the clearing, Finn notices me, and his expression is hard as he looks into my eyes.
I tilt my head to indicate I want to speak to him, and he comes over. “Can we talk?”
“Sure.”
I lead him down a path toward the cabins, which should be empty this time of day. As we walk, I notice every snap of a twig and rustle in the brush. They seem to ramp up my nervousness.
We stop at a picnic table, and I turn to him. My stomach is in knots, and I’m overcome with shyness. When I open my mouth, the words refuse to come out. I cover my face with my hand and talk myself into spitting out what I need to say. When I lower my fingers and gaze into Finn’s eyes, I blurt out, “I love you.” Shit. That wasn’t what I wanted to lead with. “I mean—” I let out a huff of annoyance at myself as my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. “I suck at this.”
Finn smiles. “You love me?”
“That’s what you’re focused on?” I sigh. “Yes. I love you, Finn. And I understand why you didn’t tell me you were divorced.”
“You love me.” He steps forward and tugs on a loose strand of my hair. His grin is contagious, and I shake my head as I step closer to him.
“We’ve covered that.”
“I know. I just like hearing it.” His expression turns serious. “I’m sorry, Meg. My marriage is the biggest failure of my life, and I’m still touchy about it. I was afraid to tell you, but I shouldn’t have lied. Can you forgive me?”
I nod. “I realize it’s a stupid rule I created for myself. You are not Randal.” I gaze up into the face of the man who makes me happier than I’ve ever been. He makes me feel beautiful, desired, and loved. The cotton of his shirt wads up in my fingers as I clutch at it. “You are Finn O’Connor, a guy whose grip on his man card is loose enough that he’ll watch Dirty Dancing. And I like it.”
Finn slides his hands up my arms as he smiles. “Truth. And I’m still upset that the guy didn’t get his girl.”
“They weren’t meant to be together.” His eyes narrow a little before I say, “But we are.”
“You really believe that?”
I reach up on my tiptoes and place my hands on his shoulders. “I do.” I kiss him long and hard, and I pour my love into it as if I’ve opened the floodgates of my heart.
Chapter 14
After making up with Finn at the archery range, we agree on plans for the evening. I open my cabin door to find Finn with a mischievous smile on his face. He asks, “Did you put on bug spray?”
“I did. Why?”
“Nighttime. Mosquitos. We’re in the forest, after all.”
“Oh, you’re funny.” My door snicks shut behind me when I step outside. “Want to tell me where we’re going?”
“You’ll see.” He’s wearing a backpack, and his fingers are warm as they wrap around mine.
He leads me away from the main path, and I realize we’re headed to the archery field. “Do you plan to hunt and gather for me?”
“Something like that.” Finn’s eyes twinkle in the moonlight, and I’m reminded of the first night we sat on the dock with our feet in the water. “Tell me about your day,” he says.
I rattle off a funny story about Ethan before we get to the archery range. As I enter, I notice coffee cans set out to indicate a lane toward a target. Two bows with arro
ws are on the ground near where one stands to shoot.
Finn’s pack thuds to the ground, and he moves over to the cans. A flame flickers as he strikes a match, and he crouches down to light a candle in one of the cans. Light seeps out through holes poked in it, and I see the letter N. He moves on to another can on the other side of the alley, and it’s another letter N.
As he progresses, I begin to understand the message, and my heart swells as happiness fills it. “Finn?”
“Almost done.” He lights the last can and then comes to me. He tugs me by my hand. “You can read it best from over here.”
We step to a point halfway down the row of cans and far enough back to see them all at once. The rear row of cans are arranged to appear between the front row, and I read the warm glow of his words.
You have my heart forever, Meg. Love, Finn.
I turn to him. “You are so adorable.”
“They made fun of me in arts and crafts.”
“Really?” I step closer to him and wrap my arms around his waist.
“Just the guys. The women told me I was sweet.”
“You are.” I reach up to kiss him.
When we stop, he says, “I’ve made something else for you too.” He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a friendship bracelet like kids make. “I’m very good at braiding, by the way. If you need help with your hair.”
I chuckle as I hold out a wrist for him to tie it on. “You are too much.” His fingers graze my skin and send tingles of desire through me, but it’s more than sexual. It’s also the joy I feel being with a man who is head over heels in love with me the way I am with him.
“Now for the manly part,” he says. Finn walks over and picks up a bow. “I’m getting pretty good at this.” He lifts it up and nocks an arrow. The string twangs when he lets go, and the soft thud we hear tells me he hit the target.
I clap my hands. “Very good. You’ve been practicing.”
He bows to me and says, “Thank you. Come over here and take your turn.”
I groan. “I’m awful at sports, Finn.”
“That’s because you don’t do them. C’mon. I’ll help.” He teases me. “I’ll put my arms around you.”
I grin at him. “Very enticing.” I walk over as he lifts the smaller bow and gives it to me. He steps behind me and puts his hands over mine. When I look at the target, I can’t see more than a dark object. “How am I supposed to hit the bull’s-eye when I can’t see it?”
“Aim for the middle. But as long as you hit the hay bale, you’re fine.”
My muscles flex as I yank the string back. “New rules? Because I thought the idea was to hit the bull’s-eye.”
“You talk too much to be concentrating. Just take your shot.”
I manage to hit the target, and Finn lets out a whoop. I set the bow down as he picks up one of the cans to use as a flashlight. “Let’s go see how we did.”
I sigh as I follow him. “I don’t need to see to know you did better than me. I’m aw—” I stop in my tracks when the light from the candle reveals what the target is. I gasp and put my hand over my mouth. There is a huge red paper heart with two arrows stuck in it. “Finn.”
I gaze at him blurrily through my tears as he smiles. He sets the can down and takes my hands. “You have my heart, Meg. And I may have helped you get there, but I hope I have yours.”
I sniff. “Of course you do.” I throw myself into his arms, and he lifts me off my feet. When he sets me down again, I say, “I do love you, Finn. More than I wanted to admit at first. But I think I’ve loved you since college.”
“I know I’ve loved you that long.” He leans down and kisses me slowly, and I fall into the connection between us.
Finn leads me back to where he left his pack, and we sit on the large logs that are used for benches. The contents of his pack rattle as he reaches inside and pulls out a bottle. A beer cap pops when he removes it, and he hands the drink to me. “Do you ever wonder if there’s some supreme being or power that helped us find each other again?”
“Like fate?” I sip the beer, and the liquid is cool as it slides down my throat.
“Maybe. I don’t know, but I’ve been thinking. You said we weren’t ready for each other in college, and I think you’re right.” He shifts to straddle the log and face me.
I do the same, and our knees touch. “We weren’t. Well, I wasn’t. I was shy, insecure, and never could have handled someone like you who had all the confidence in the world.”
“Now that’s where you’re wrong.” Finn places a hand on my bare knee, and his warmth permeates my skin. “I pretended I was great, but I was very self-conscious.”
“You were a great actor. You were always laughing and had tons of friends.”
“I definitely had fun in college, but think about it. Why didn’t a guy who seemed to be on top of the world have the nerve to tell you how he really felt? To ask you out?” He takes a sip of his beer.
“That’s a very good question,” I say. “I used to think the answer was because I wasn’t the kind of girl you wanted to date.”
He slides his hand up to the hem of my shorts, and I tremble a little when he strokes the tender skin of my inner thigh. “Baby, you were my fantasy, and as much as I hate to think about it, you were probably the same for so many other guys.”
I slide my leg out so he can reach farther. “You’re sweet to say that, but I’m not buying it.”
Finn’s fingers reach the edge of my panties. “You underestimate the male mind.”
“Yeah?” I ask in a breathy voice as he slides a digit under the nylon and strokes it along my slick folds.
His tone deepens. “There is something incredibly sexy about a beautiful woman with her hair up, hiding under bulky clothes.” He slips a finger inside me, and I let out a mewling sound. I rock my hips to increase the pressure in a way I like. “When you get her to open up, it’s like finding a secret treasure that’s all yours.” I dig my fingers into his shoulder as my orgasm builds, and he stops talking as I enjoy his ministrations.
“Ever had sex on an archery range?” he asks.
“Finn.” I know I should object considering anyone out for a walk could find us, but I’m so close to coming, and I’ve been known to skinny dip and dance around a fire naked, so I pant out, “No. Want to?”
“Let me get the blanket.” He removes his hand quickly to pop up and retrieve it.
“Wait,” I say. Finn gives me a wicked grin, and I chuckle. “I’m glad you found your confidence with me.”
“And I’m glad you found yours. Now, come get naked with me.”
I smile to myself as I decide to show him just how self-assured I am these days. After he spreads out the blanket and sits down, I climb onto my knees and reach for his waistband as I kiss him. The button of his shorts is hard in my fingers as I undo it. I reach in to grip his hard cock as he slides his hands under my shirt to fondle my breasts.
“Lie down,” I say as I push gently at his chest with my free hand. When he does, I grab his shorts and underwear and drag them down his thighs. I let out a sigh of appreciation when I gaze at his thick length standing proud.
Starting at the base, I flutter light kisses on him as I work my way around the girth and up to the tip, where I lick the bead of moisture. Using a combination of my hands and mouth, I pleasure Finn and revel in his body’s reaction as I make him writhe beneath me in his bliss.
When he’s about to come, he stops me to give me similar oral attention. This time, he finishes what he started earlier, and I’m still quivering as he sinks into me. My clit is engorged and sensitive, which makes his movements more intense, and I moan as I hang on to him for another wave of ecstasy. His climax hits quickly too, and as we let go in each other’s arms, we cry out in unison.
The weight of Finn on me is like a thick comforter. I could bask in it for hours, but the tree root digging into my back makes me squirm until he moves. “Sorry,” I say, “but there’s a reason beds work better for thi
s.”
He gets up and holds out his hand to help me. “Shall we go test your theory?”
I stand up and gaze at the naked man before me. I imagine what it would be like to have him in my bed for the rest of our lives, and I smile.
“What are you thinking?” he asks as he pulls on his pants.
“I’m imagining what it’s going to be like when the summer is over.” The straps of my bra snap as I put it on.
“It’s going to be great. I can’t wait to have you over to my apartment.” Finn moves to pick up the cans.
“Wait.” I walk over to them, and they thud lightly as I rearrange the order. They now read: You have my heart forever, Finn. Love, Meg.
As I set the last can down, I glance at Finn, and the look on his face reflects the love I feel. He wipes at the corner of his eye. “Darn allergies.”
I walk over as tears roll down my cheeks too. I wrap my arms around my sensitive man’s waist and say, “Yeah. Darn allergies.”
Chapter 15
Finn and I spend every free moment, and a few stolen ones, together for the next few days. As his camp retreat winds down, I become increasingly nervous—not about what will happen with our relationship, because I’ve never felt more solid in a man’s love for me. No, I’m sick to my stomach over field day.
Often, the groups who come will have a friendly competition similar to the ones children have in school. A variety of physical tasks are organized and teams are formed to compete. Most of the time, Camp Firefly Falls staff doesn’t participate. But every once in a while, people like Finn, who have a smaller group, want to include us in the activity.
My knife taps steadily on the cutting board as I chop peppers. Ethan’s got the day off, and I’m all alone in the kitchen. I glance up when the swinging doors thud open. Heather, my boss, is coming my way. Heather knows how I feel about field day, and she’s been trying to figure out the best way to utilize me.
I raise my knife. “You sure you want to talk to me when I’m holding this?”
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