by J. A. Owenby
“Well, with all the commotion, I left my car parked here at the hospital,” I said, rubbing my forehead. “I should probably take it home, but now I don’t remember where I parked.”
I was so used to passing the hospital as I drove to work that I’d never realized how big it was. I didn’t even remember which entrance I had used. All I remembered was puking on the side of the road and how terrified I was. I thought I’d killed Mama.
“It’s okay, we can just drive around,” Walker said. “We’ll find it.”
“What if your car won’t start?” I giggled. I wasn’t sure why I thought the situation was funny because it wasn’t. Stress manifested in weird ways.
“Then I’ll have someone jump it—not the end of the world,” Walker said, smiling.
I’m not sure how he could always remain so calm, but then I remembered he’d taken care of his mom. He was probably so relieved to leave the hospital that his car not starting wasn’t a big deal.
Walker’s car started on the first try and after an hour of driving through the hospital parking lot and garage levels, we located my car.
“Oh good, I was beginning to think we’d lost her!” I laughed as I hopped out of Walker’s car.
“I told you we’d find your car.”
I leaned through the window and kissed him.
“Okay, I’ll follow you there?” he asked.
“Yup! See you soon,” I said.
I kissed him one more time and then got into my car and pulled out of the parking lot.
I was nervous about Walker coming over. I assumed the house would be a disaster—hopefully someone had at least loaded the dishes so the house didn’t stink. I generally took care of it, but I hadn’t been home. It was more than that, though. I was about to reveal another part of me that I hadn’t shared with Walker yet.
He was about to see where everything happened: the yelling, the praying and casting out of demons, the bloody noses, the place I was knocked unconscious. It was one thing to tell him about it; it was another thing entirely for him to walk in and stand where it had all happened. If I ever told him something happened again, he’d have the full mental picture, and it scared me. He’d already threatened to confront Mama, and now that she was sick that couldn’t happen.
By the time I decided it wasn’t a good idea to have him over, I had pulled into the driveway and parked my car in the empty carport. I motioned for him to park next to me.
“Here we are,” I said.
“Wow, it’s a big house,” he said, looking around the front of the house and deck.
“Big and empty.” I took his hand and led him up the steps and into the house.
“Hello!” I yelled as I closed the door.
No one answered.
“Okay, well, I’m pretty sure no one’s here, but I’ll show you the house and we’ll make sure. As you can tell, this is the kitchen.”
Walker stood silently for a moment and took everything in. He assessed the kitchen and slowly turned toward the living room, identifying Mama’s chair and the stack of books next to it.
“This is where she knocked you unconscious,” he said. Walker’s voice carried an edge I didn’t recognize.
“Yes,” I whispered. It felt like I was cutting myself wide open as I allowed him to step into my world.
I took his hand and led him down the hallway. I wanted to focus on something else.
“This is Mama and Patsy’s bedroom and bath.” I took him into the room and opened the curtains to the sliding glass door. “This is the back deck.” I led him to the guest bedroom and bathroom and then took him downstairs.
“This is Krissy’s room. There’s not much here since she’s away at school most of the time, which works for me.”
We turned the corner into the family room and then I guided him around one more corner to my bedroom.
“This is my room,” I said as I placed my bag on the floor.
“Uh, where’s your furniture?” he asked as he noted the few piles of clothes and the sleeping bag on the floor.
Shit. With everything going on, I’d forgotten that Mama had sold my furniture. He was going to be pissed.
“Yeah, well, that’s a long story,” I said. “I’m just going to grab some clothes and a few things from the bathroom. I’ll be right back,” I said as I darted past him.
My head pounded with every step. This hadn’t been a good idea. I don’t know what the hell I’d been thinking—apparently nothing.
I rustled through my bathroom drawers and grabbed some makeup, shaving cream, and razor. I hurried back to my bedroom and rifled through my clothes and threw them in the bag too. Walker stood in silence and stared at me as though I were on display.
I stood up and smiled.
“Okay, well that’s it. You’ve gotten your tour and I’ve got what I need. It’s still okay that I stay with you, right?”
Walker frowned at my question. “I sure as hell don’t want you to stay here!”
“It’s not as bad as it looks. I mean, it is, but . . . it’s over. What’s done is done and I just want to move on.”
“Where’s your furniture, Lace?” he asked again, his voice firm.
I wasn’t going to get out of this one.
I hugged my bag in front of me. “This was a terrible idea. I shouldn’t have brought you here.” I tried to move past him and get out the door, but he grabbed my arm.
“Lacey, where’s your furniture?”
I sighed as I rubbed my forehead. “If I tell you can we leave? Please?”
“Yes.”
“She sold it when I stayed with you the first time. It was after our fight and I told her I stayed with Joss. When I came home, my furniture was gone. She said if I wanted to stay at my friend’s house all the time then I didn’t need furniture.” My face flushed and tears threatened to spill over and onto my cheeks.
“She broke my fucking heart,” I whispered as the tears broke free. “How? How can someone treat their kid like that? I was gone for a few days after a horrible fight and she sells my stuff! Do you know that we have scorpions and huge spiders down here? Of course you don’t,” I laughed through my tears.
I pulled my arm away and ran to the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and leaned on the counter as the tears rushed out. I didn’t want to ugly-cry in front of him.
Five minutes later, I emerged from the bathroom to find Walker sitting on the stairs. My eyes were red, but at least I’d touched up my makeup.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry she did that to you. Let’s get out of here, okay?”
I nodded and followed him up the stairs and out the front door. I locked it behind me and another piece of my heart with it.
Chapter 33
The drive to Walker’s was beautiful, and I took a deep breath as I watched the late-afternoon sun dance across the autumn leaves. So much had happened in the last several weeks that my head throbbed just thinking about it, but something about the fall colors, the sunshine, and the coolness in the air gave me some much-needed peace. If I could have only two seasons a year, fall would be the one I would want to last the longest. Unfortunately, it was always the shortest season in the South.
Susan and Garrett were at the kitchen table playing cards when we walked in. It was such a stark contrast from my kitchen to theirs. Not because it was smaller, but because of the life that was there. The love, shared smiles, and sometimes the bone-shattering sadness when everyone remembered Susan was dying. But no matter what, it was real: no one was pretending to be who they weren’t and no one was afraid of each other.
“Hey, buddy,” I said and ruffled Garrett’s hair.
“Hey, Lacey. How’s your mom?”
“She’s still in ICU, but she’s going to be okay if she takes care of herself.”
“That’s good.”
“How long are they keeping her?” Susan asked.
“They think about a week, but they couldn’t be specific.”
“Lacey’s stayin
g with us,” Walker said abruptly.
Susan’s eyebrow rose as she waited for an explanation.
“Sorry, Mom, that was rude. But she doesn’t even have any furniture in her room at home, and it would mean a lot to me if she could stay. Please?”
“Of course she can stay. Lacey and I have already talked about it, but you and I will finish this conversation later,” she said as she turned toward me.
Shock registered on my face. I didn’t understand Walker’s sudden change, especially with Susan. I’d never heard him sound bossy or rude, ever.
“It’s okay, Lacey, don’t look panicked. You and I already discussed our arrangement, so don’t worry. Sometimes we argue just like any other family,” she said and smiled gently.
“Okay, I just don’t want to cause any problems.”
“You’re not. Why don’t you go put your things in Walker’s room and I’ll finish talking to him, okay?”
She didn’t need to ask twice.
I tossed my duffel bag on the bed and tucked my clothes into the top drawer of Walker’s dresser. I didn’t want to take up much of his space and irritate him any further. I finished unpacking and then stretched out on his bed. I could hear Susan’s and Walker’s muffled voices, but I couldn’t make out anything they were saying. They weren’t yelling, so that was a good sign.
Garrett peeked in the door and smiled. “They’re not fighting, so don’t stress about it.”
“Thanks, Garrett. I just haven’t heard Walker talk to your mom like that before.”
“He normally doesn’t. He’s just upset.”
“I think it was hard for him to be at the hospital with everything going on with your mom.” I sat up on the bed and scooted to the edge. “How are you doing with everything? I mean, you don’t have to talk to me about stuff, but if you want to you can.”
“Thanks,” he answered and shoved his hands into his pockets. “It sucks.”
“I agree, buddy. I have some good news, though. Your mom said I could stay with you guys some even while Walker’s at boot camp. What do you think?”
“Really? That’s way cool!”
“Yeah?” I couldn’t hide my smile. “I’ll help you with your homework, too. That work for you?”
“I’m good with that. You make it almost fun, but not quite,” he said, laughing.
“Good, then you’re stuck with me.”
“Move, Garrett,” Walker said as he pushed past him and closed the door in his face.
“Walker! What the hell?” I asked and jumped off his bed.
“I have to give him shit as long as I can.” He smiled.
“Every time you give him shit I want you to remember that you could’ve had a sibling like Krissy.”
“No thanks. Like I said, she is all yours.”
“Are you okay?” I asked. “Did you and your mom talk everything out?”
“Yeah, we’re okay. I just can’t stand the thought of you going back there, Lace. It tears me up inside, and the best thing I can do is keep you here for as long as possible. In the back of my mind, I know you’ll go back even if you don’t have to, and it pisses me off. I don’t want you to go back to that house and that empty bedroom. As soon as we opened the door I could imagine all the shit you’ve told me about, and I got pissed. I just wanted to grab you and run.”
“I have to go back. What if Mama’s been sick and it’s caused her to act crazy? What if it changed her? If there’s a chance to have a good relationship with her, I have to try. I love her no matter what’s happened.”
He reached for my hand and laced his fingers through mine.
“That’s the thing I love so much about you, even though it drives me crazy at the same time. You have an incredible heart. She doesn’t deserve you. I love you so much it makes me a little nuts sometimes.”
“I love you too. In fact, I want to take you somewhere,” I said as I stood and opened his bedroom door.
“Yeah?”
“Give me ten,” I said and shut his door behind me.
Chapter 34
I gathered everything I needed with Susan’s help and direction. She thought my plan was a good idea for both of us. I peered out the window as the sun began to lower. My timing was going to be perfect.
I poked my head into his bedroom and smiled.
“Let’s go,” I said.
Walker laughed at the overstuffed picnic basket and pile of blankets I was trying to balance. I peered over the top and tried not to trip.
“Let me help you,” he said as he unloaded my arms.
“Thanks,” I said, grinning from ear to ear. The Cheshire Cat had nothing on me at that moment.
“What are you smiling so big about?” he asked as we went outside and I began walking down the path behind the house.
“Nothing, it’s just nice to be outside and not in a stuffy hospital.”
“You can say that again.”
We walked the path in silence until we reached the pond. I put the pile of blankets on the ground and spread out the first one. We sat down and Walker helped me set the food and soda out. I wasn’t really hungry, but Walker never failed to have an appetite.
The sun lowered in the sky and the orange-and-pink colors backlit the clouds. Rays of golden light bounced off the pond. It was quiet and peaceful—exactly what I’d hoped for.
“I just wanted to bring you here. I remember watching the sunset at the lake with you on our first date. I realize this isn’t a lake, but we’re still surrounded by trees and water.” I smiled as he drew in a deep breath and sighed contentedly.
Everything going on with Mama and I had been hard for him too, but more than that, we didn’t have much time together before he left. Also, no one was sure how much longer Susan had to live. Everything in our life was dictated by a calendar. I just wanted to stop time for a moment.
“I love it here. You’re right, I think we both just need a break from the shitstorm,” Walker said.
The breeze blew across the water and sent a chill through me. I reached for a blanket and wrapped myself in it. We ignored the food; I don’t think either one of us was hungry. We just wanted to be alone.
Walker scooted over and slid under the blanket with me and I leaned my head against his shoulder. We snuggled and watched the sun set.
Walker kissed my forehead and stood up.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“Hang on, I’ll be right back.”
I shivered under the blanket as the warmth of his body escaped me. Walker gathered rocks and wood and piled it a few feet away from us. I smiled as he meticulously made a circle with the stones and laid the wood inside. In a matter of minutes, a fire roared to life and filled the darkness. It was perfect.
He smiled as he got back under the blanket with me.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he said as he wrapped his arms around me. “It’s a perfect night, too. I’m glad you thought of this.”
“Me too,” I said. “Walker?”
“Yeah, Lace?”
“I love you.”
Walker tilted my head up and kissed me, his lips warm and soft. My body didn’t take long to respond to him. I’d brought him here for the sole purpose of making love to him; he just didn’t know it yet.
His fingers lightly stroked my cheek as our kiss deepened.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he whispered. “You’ll never understand how much I love you.”
“Show me,” I responded between kisses. “Show me how much you love me.” I broke our kiss and pulled off my shirt. Then I released the clasp of my bra and slipped it off. The cold night air brushed across my breasts, my nipples hardening instantly. I studied his face as I stood up, unbuttoned my jeans, and slid them off, leaving me with only my red lace panties on.
The firelight danced across his face. He couldn’t have hidden his reaction if he wanted to. His eyes revealed his hunger as I slowly slid my panties down my legs, leaving me co
mpletely naked, but this time, I wasn’t hiding in his sheets or underneath him. I allowed him to see every inch of me as I stood beside the fire. I’d grown more comfortable with him, and tonight boldness radiated through me. I wanted him to think about this moment when he was alone in bed at boot camp. When he needed me, I wanted the memory of tonight to burn through every part of him.
“You’re so beautiful.” His voice cracked with emotion.
I closed the gap between us and stood over him. He ran his hands slowly up the inside of my thighs and spread my legs apart. He cupped my ass and brought me closer to him, his tongue finding my wet core.
I grabbed his hair as his tongue fluttered across my clit. I sucked in a sharp breath as he sucked me gently and slipped his finger inside me. I didn’t ever want him to stop.
I couldn’t stand up any longer, and I lowered myself to the ground with him. Walker moved with me, never allowing his fingers to stop. I spread my legs and welcomed his tongue again.
I watched as his tongue licked and sucked my clit. I was so close, and he knew it.
He glanced up, released my clit, and removed his fingers.
“You like that, baby?” he asked, his voice raspy with need.
I nodded and blushed that I’d lost my mind enough to be so bold. Walker leaned back on his knees and removed his shirt. His muscled chest and stomach were accentuated by the firelight. With a flick of a button, he released himself from his jeans. His blue eyes danced; his muscles were taut. He was ready, and I was ready to take in every inch of him.
He removed his jeans and slid a condom out of his back pocket. He ripped the package open and slipped it on.
“Come here,” he said as he lay down on his back. I straddled him as he guided me slowly and I took him inside me.
I gasped as I sat on top of him.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, it’s just different.”
“Just relax, baby.”
Walker gently began moving, giving me time to adjust to our position. It didn’t take me long to match his rhythm as he grabbed my hips and moved me up and down the length of him. His strokes pushed deeper inside me, sending waves of pleasure through my body.
“That’s it . . . God, you feel so good,” Walker said as he buried himself inside me.
