‘Because I am your wife, in all but name. I am beginning to think that perhaps this was all a terrible mistake and we should separate.’
He looked utterly mortified. ‘Why would you wish such a terrible thing? Do I not love you with all my heart and soul?’ I could see him struggling to damp down his quick temper, but I was too far gone in my own to care that he felt hurt by my accusation.
‘Oh, I dare say you do, just as the Prince of Wales loves Mrs Fitzherbert. But yet you are both free spirits and can love more than one woman without fear or favour, it seems,’ and I burst into tears.
William instantly drew me into his arms. ‘Never could I love any woman more than I love you, Little Pickle. You are my life, my All.’
I looked up into his blue eyes, warm with love, and was filled with shame. How could I have doubted him, even for a moment? ‘Oh, and I love you too, dearest Billy.’
He beamed. ‘Well, there you are then. Are we not the happiest, most devoted couple? Do we not have a domestic bliss that most would envy? Dora, my love, you have nothing to fear from anyone, I swear it on my honour.’ And somehow his sincerity was so genuine, so heartfelt, that I was convinced, and all ill feeling between us was dispelled with a night of passionate lovemaking.
Fortunately for the Prince of Wales, Caroline of Brunswick almost instantly fell pregnant, so he was further spared her bed. But I sensed that William felt sorry that his brother did not share our good fortune on the domestic front. That summer George came to Clarence House to bemoan the misery of his marriage and stayed for two long weeks.
‘I refuse to live with that woman,’ he declared over his fourth glass of claret.
‘But you must,’ William chided him. ‘If this child is a girl you will have to try again for a boy.’
George grimaced in horror. ‘Never!’
I made a great fuss of him, sitting at the head of the table and playing the perfect hostess, even though I was feeling far from well myself, having suffered a miscarriage in July, no doubt caused by pressure of work and one or two falls and sprains onstage. In January of the following year I sadly suffered yet another. By then Caroline was safely delivered of a girl, christened Charlotte after her grandmother. George was delighted and declared himself most satisfied. Three months later the Prince and Princess of Wales separated.
The Duke celebrated his brother’s success, even if the new Princess Charlotte did put him one step further from the throne.
To my complete horror, Daly suddenly presented himself at my dressing room one night at Drury Lane, turning up at my door like the proverbial bad penny. It took all my strength and resolve to see him, but I was curious to know what he wanted from me. I feared it might concern Fanny, and I was right, at least partially.
He stood before me with that squint-eyed look and my stomach curdled with loathing. ‘I have come to see my daughter. It was naughty of you to run away like that without even telling me about her. But I shall forgive you, Dolly, as I always do whenever you make a mistake.’
Anger rose hot and fierce in my breast; even the mere sight of him filled me with loathing. ‘The biggest mistake I ever made was to trust you. Fanny is my daughter and no concern of yours. And my name is Dora.’
He held out his hands in a familiar placatory gesture. ‘You cannot deny the child a father.’
‘She has no need of a father. She has a doting mother and an adoring aunt, not to mention the Duke to protect her.’
‘I can offer you one hundred guineas a week if you would come back to Dublin and perform at the theatre. What do you say to that?’
I laughed out loud. ‘So that is what this is all about! You wish to cash in on my fame. Either you are desperate, or a liar, or maybe both, but were you to offer me ten times that sum I would not come. Get out of my dressing room this minute. I also recommend you leave the country before I have you arrested for what you did to me.’
‘You would never dare,’ he scoffed, and straightening my spine I took a step closer, so that he did not mistake my sincerity.
‘Do not test me too much, Daly. If you come anywhere near Fanny you will live to regret it. The Duke is a powerful man with friends who could make life extremely difficult for you. Go home to Ireland in one piece, while you still can.’
He swore loudly, spun on his heel and strode away. I found that I had to sit down as I was actually shaking. But the bluff, for that is exactly what it was, had worked. At last, I thought, Daly is gone from my life for good, and from dear Fanny’s.
There were times during the long, cold winter that followed when I would think of that offer of one hundred guineas as Sheridan continued to struggle with his finances and paid me only in dribs and drabs. But never would I trust Daly again, so I dismissed him from my mind, proud that I had found the courage to stand up to him at last. But at times I felt worn out by the struggle to fit everything in, to constantly move from house to house, being at Somerset Street when in town, then home to Richmond at the weekends, minding my children and keeping the Duke happy.
Yet we were happy, deliciously so. Busy but content. Sheridan naturally disapproved of my frequent pregnancies, for all I kept on working, often to the very week I went into labour.
This season I was playing Nell in The Devil to Pay, and even Ophelia, would you believe? And my fame continued to blossom. Admirers would come to my dressing room simply to talk to me. I became friendly with a young Cambridge undergraduate by the name of Samuel Taylor Coleridge, who fancied himself as a poet and playwright, and sought my critical appraisal of his work. Seeing that he had merit, I gave him every encouragement, as I am rather fond of poetry myself.
There were others too who came to me for support and advice: a William Hazlitt, and a young clerk by the name of Charles Lamb who liked my rendition of Shakespeare.
In the months that followed exhaustion would often get the better of me, and I sometimes longed for a more settled life and a home in one place, able to devote myself entirely to my family. But then I would remind myself what a very fortunate woman I was to have such a beautiful family and also a wonderful career which brought me so much pleasure, and not a little in the way of financial reward.
On one occasion I was offered twenty guineas for three more nights, which is hard to resist, particularly if the house is a good one. And with a rapidly growing family, money was ever a cause of concern. Yet I was careful not to trespass upon the Duke’s good will too much. I always made a point, if I was to be away longer than intended, of seeking his agreement before I accepted.
Twenty-One
‘Mrs Jordan never has been to me the least cause of expense’
‘Would you believe the King has offered me a post as ranger of Bushy Park?’ William said to me at the end of a particularly tiring week. I smiled at him fondly, thinking this would be a new enthusiasm, which always did his spirits good, particularly since he still had been given no proper role in the war. ‘I am delighted for you, my love. What does that involve, exactly?’
‘Dearest, you do not understand. Seeing how cramped we are here at Clarence House, particularly when the older girls come to stay, and how contented you and I are together, the King has offered us a fine new home.’ He was grinning from ear to ear, and I found a broad smile of delight breaking out on my own face.
‘Oh, how very kind of His Majesty. What kind of home?’
‘It is a beautiful mansion in Teddington, set in more than a thousand acres. It’s part of the Hampton Court estate, on the opposite side of the bank from Richmond. No more than two hours by coach from St James’s, and would not lengthen your own journey to Drury Lane.’
‘Oh, my love, can this be true?’
‘The King seems to think that I have presented myself well, serving as an example of domestic decorum by comparison with the way George has behaved with Mrs Fitzherbert, Lady Jersey and the Princess Caroline. Better one established mistress than two unsuitable wives, eh?’ he said with a laugh.
It didn’t seem appropr
iate for me to comment so I kept on smiling, waiting for more.
‘I wish you all to see the house and tell me if you like it. Then if you do, we shall arrange to move in as quickly as possible.’
Like the proud family man he had become, the very next day he took us all, myself, three-year-old George and two-year-old Sophy, to view the property, as if their opinions too were of value. It was a cold January day, the lime and chestnut trees stark and bare of leaf, the ground hard with frost, an ornamental pond frozen over, but I loved it on sight. How could I not?
‘It is beautiful, my love. Can it really be ours? Can we afford such splendour?’ I was already beginning to estimate the cost of maintaining such a grand mansion.
‘Most certainly we can, the King has decreed it,’ William said, with perhaps more confidence than certainty. He began to expound his plans for developing the estate. ‘I shall become a farmer. There are deer and pheasant in the woods, and I shall increase the flock of sheep, grow vegetables, plant peach trees and perhaps install an orangery.’
‘May we have a pleasure garden?’ I asked, beginning to catch his enthusiasm.
‘But of course. Absolutely essential. And ponies for the children. Dogs and lots of animals for them to grow up with.’
‘I have some savings, were you to be in need of a loan to get you started,’ I offered. This was meant for my older girls as they would each require a dowry, and once I left the stage I would also need a pension for myself, but I did some rapid calculations and decided I could afford to offer some assistance.
‘I would pay you back,’ William assured me.
‘Of course you would, dearest, but there is really no hurry to do so. It will, after all, be my home too.’ And was he not the love of my life?
The Duke trotted us briskly along a seemingly endless array of open colonnades, taking little account of the fact I was again pregnant, seven months in my estimation, and this time progressing well. ‘The perfect place for entertaining, do you not think?’
‘And for children to run,’ I said with a smile, not quite seeing myself playing hostess for the society ladies here, any more than I did at Clarence House.
‘It was once the home of George Montagu, Earl of Halifax. And more recently the late Lord North, Earl of Guildford and erstwhile Prime Minister. His lady wife sadly has also recently died, and so the post of ranger fell vacant. I have offered my condolences to her daughter, and use of the Keeper’s Lodge on the estate. Now do come and see the bedrooms, of which there are more than enough for a growing family, dearest Dora.’
I laughed, for this was exactly what he needed, a new role and purpose in his life. And who was I to question his dream? For my part, I would welcome any change which was good for the children, so long as we truly could cope with the expense of such a fine property. The Duke set about resolving that problem by writing numerous letters to Coutts about his plans, and his need for a loan on the basis that it could easily be repaid when the farms and woodland began to pay their way. ‘There is equipment to buy, and farm stock, cattle and sheep.’ I, of course, insisted on lending him £2,400, which I told him to repay when he thought proper.
‘It is most generous of her,’ he told Coutts, and much to my amusement went on, ‘I freely admit Mrs Jordan never has been to me the least cause of expense.’
I sincerely hoped I never would be.
Coutts agreed to lend him £2,000, but, like the Prince of Wales, he could not resist making considerable changes to the property, although he fully intended them to be both practical and suited to a family, not at all like the pavilion at Brighton. The Duke, believing himself to be far more sensible than his brother, began to make comprehensive plans for refurbishment, holding no fears about financing it.
‘After all, the mansion belongs to the nation,’ he said. ‘So why should not the public purse help fund it?’
‘I doubt Pitt can supply all the money you’ll need, as the country’s finances must already be stretched to the limit by having to pay for this seemingly endless war. And I’m afraid there is also the question of a number of accounts having been sent in by the shopkeepers of Richmond, my love, once they learned of our proposed move.’
‘I have no wish for you to fret about such matters, dearest, not in your condition. All will be attended to,’ William promised, the very slightest edge to his tone.
‘Forgive me for fussing but following my experience with Daly, I determined never to allow myself to fall into debt again. Nor must you, dearest. But I shall certainly do my part to earn what I can to help.’
‘What a fine woman you are,’ William said. ‘Ever practical, loyal and generous-hearted.’
In March, I presented him with a second fine healthy son, named Henry, a joy to behold after our recent disappointments. ‘Perhaps I took more care with this one,’ I ruefully remarked as I lovingly cradled my child to my breast. ‘Finding the right balance between my career and motherhood is not always easy.’
‘You need more assistance, my love, and I shall provide it.’
William took on more nursemaids, including a Miss Sketchley, who would be something between nurse and governess. And also the Reverend Thomas Lloyd, as chaplain and general mentor and assistant for me and the children. He was a tactful, amiable man, willing and able to assist us in any way. This included taking the daily prayers, baptizing the dear children and somehow managing to maintain the requirements of his faith with a pragmatic realism. The Duke was determined that his own offspring would be provided with a loving home, doting parents, and yet be instilled with the necessary manners and education.
‘Can we afford all these wages?’ I asked. Lloyd alone was to be paid £400 per annum, and the costs of the refurbishment seemed to be escalating by the day.
‘We can and we must. I will not have you overtaxed.’
‘Yet we must watch our expenditure carefully.’
‘I do watch it,’ the Duke snapped, and I said no more, knowing when to hold my tongue.
‘These builders will send in their account twice if you don’t watch out,’ the Prince of Wales warned him, no doubt speaking from experience. ‘You must keep a close eye on your debts, Billy boy.’
Irritated that not only I, but his own brother should be nagging him, the Duke’s reply was somewhat tetchy. ‘It is all very well for you to talk, having had your debts settled.’
George smoothed the silk of his new neckcloth, looking momentarily glum. ‘Sadly, they are rising yet again, like the phoenix.’
It was May and William had recently attended the marriage of the Princess Royal to the Prince of Wurttemberg at St James’s. All the family were present, for once including the four princesses, but again I was excluded. Afterwards the Duke told me how he’d boasted of my being an excellent manager, and that he meant to hire an architect to assist with the building project.
‘Would you believe George remarked how fortunate I was to have your capacity to add to the coffers.’ His expression darkened, clearly hating the inference behind this remark. ‘I told him quite bluntly that I do not view you in those terms.’
‘I am glad to hear it,’ I said, not sure whether to be amused or insulted by this charge. ‘And what else did you say?’
‘That I may be permitted to be partial but cannot help thinking you are one of the most perfect women in this world. “Is she not a champion for the independent woman?” I said. “I dare say she is, Billy Boy,” George replied. “And no one can deny the good lady is a worker.” He has apparently seen you most days being driven in and out of London in your new carriage, or in mine on occasion with its royal crest. “And a most excellent mother,” I replied, with some pride. “Our children will grow up cheerful, independent and happy. What more can a father ask?” “A win on the state lottery?” my brother quipped, and even suggested that I might feel unmanned by you.’
‘And are you?’ I asked, holding my breath.
‘Of course not! What utter tosh! Why should I? I told George in no uncertain
terms that I like minding my children, and supervising the work at Bushy, and shall enjoy running my farm. Although it’s true I would still relish serving my country.’
Soon after being made ranger William had heard of Nelson’s arrival in the country, and having once been instrumental in procuring him HMS Agamemnon back in 1793, he at once abandoned supervising the work at Bushy House to hurry to his old friend’s side. Nelson’s arm had been shattered by a cannon ball at the Battle of Santa Cruz de Tenerife, necessitating amputation. William was only too happy to welcome him home and offer sympathy. ‘I envy Nelson’s adventurous life, and long to be more involved in the war. Failing that, the wish dearest to my heart is to be Marine Minister.’
‘You would make a good one,’ I agreed, my heart going out to him, knowing how he ached for a more active role.
‘My sister, the Princess Augusta, however, doubts my capability. She claims that I have many good parts, but am far too indolent to do any role justice.’
‘Did she indeed?’ I asked, hiding a smile.
‘“You are a man so fond of his ease you let everything take its course,” she said. What think you of that?’
He sounded so infuriated that I felt bound to console him, even though I thought the Princess might well have a point. ‘I’m quite sure that given a position of proper merit and importance, you would exert yourself to the utmost.’
‘That is exactly what I said. Augusta’s response was that I try too hard, and the long worthy speeches in the Lords count against me. How can that be?’ he protested. ‘Did I not speak up against the fragile position of women following a divorce, and oppose efforts to bar them from remarriage? I also helped abolish laws against dissenting Christians.’
‘Of course you did, dearest,’ I concurred, and refrained from saying how he did not always see the hypocrisy in such a stand, and even if he did, I should think most of the Lords would be asleep by the time he’d made his point. But I felt sorry for him. Despite his regular attendance at the House of Lords, and keeping himself in touch by corresponding with Nelson and other officer friends, I knew my dear Billy felt deeply frustrated at being so overlooked and denied any opportunity to serve his country. Now it seemed even his own family could not recognize this important need in him.
The Duchess of Drury Lane Page 19
