by Amber Lacie
"What about Anne?"
"Sadly, I had to let her go. You are more qualified, and I need to cut our payroll. So, I let her go. I sent her a letter yesterday morning to try and spare her the grief of coming in, just to be sent back home."
"A letter? Kayla never said anything about a letter. She said Anne received a message through the office work chat, and believed it was me."
"I will gladly clear that up for you, however, please note, there should be no talk of other employees outside of work. I will make an exception this once, since you were unaware of the rule, but it can't happen again."
"Oh." I'm at a loss for words. This is completely insane. In what world am I more qualified than Anne? I have a sinking feeling in my stomach. Nothing good is going to come from this.
"Oh, I would like you to schedule us for a lunch at noon for the two of us. It will be a business meeting of sorts. Don't worry about clocking out today; your position is now salary. We can discuss the terms at lunch." Turning on her heel, she heads back to her office.
There is no way I can accept the position, knowing I'm the reason she let Anne go. I'm nervously chewing on the inside of my cheek, when I notice Kayla take a seat in her cubicle. I debate on whether I should approach her or not. Should I wait for Bridgette to talk to her, or should I talk to her now? Desperate for advice, I send a text to Theron explaining my predicament.
While I wait for Theron to text me back, I turn around to face my computer and begin working on tomorrow's logs. Only being able to use one hand is creating an obstacle for me. I owe Theron a huge thanks for helping me get ahead.
Taking a deep breath, I roll my shoulders. My level of stress and craziness is getting close to the max fill line. My purse starts vibrating under the desk. Theron has finally texted me back.
As enticing as his offer sounds, I can't come home. I need to figure this out, if not, I at least need to clear my name. Pulling up my big girl panties, I start to walk over to Kayla's cubicle.
"She's not at her desk. It seems you're putting the last nail in everyone's coffin."
Looking over my shoulder, I see Ben sitting smug at his desk. I’m not taking any of his crap today, so I walk over to his desk. He turns to face me, and my immediate reaction is to feel sympathy for the buttons on his shirt. I wonder if today will be the day his buttons pop off, exploding around the room, released from the strain of holding his shirt together. A smirk forms on my face as I imagine one of the buttons popping off, hitting him in the eye.
Placing both palms flat on his desk, I lean in close to him. "What are you talking about? You are nothing but a smug asshole. If you have any idea what is going on here, you better tell me every single detail." My voice is laced with hatred for him. I don't care anymore.
"Calm down. All I know is Ms. Clarks was waiting for her when she clocked in. She mentioned your name, something about breaking protocol, and wanted to see her in her office."
"Shit." None of this is good. I plop back down at my desk, jiggling my mouse, lighting up my computer screen. It's eleven thirty, leaving me thirty minutes until my lunch with Bridgette. Worrying my lips with my teeth, I come to a decision. None of this matters, I need to remove myself from the situation.
An alarm starts going off on my phone, reminding me to schedule an appointment with the doctor. I'm on hold for about five minutes before I even speak to anyone, and at least ten minutes waiting for a nurse to get back to me. They schedule me for tomorrow morning at ten. I send Theron a text.
I don't wait for his response. Kayla walks by wiping her nose. Has she been crying?
"Kayla, wait! What is going on?"
"Like you don't know! Thanks for reporting me to the boss. She said there was a miscommunication between Anne and her. I don't know. I saw the chat messages. It was your name. I know what I saw. Then she informed me you told her I violated protocol by talking about employees outside of work. What the hell, Eve? Why the fuck would you throw me under the bus like that?"
"I never said you broke protocol. She said she left Anne a letter. I told her you never mentioned one." My eyes go wide. I did throw her under the bus; I should never have mentioned her name. "Kayla, I'm so sorry. It wasn't intentional. I just. I’m sorry. I wasn't thinking."
"Well, that's kind of obvious, isn't it?" Taking a deep breath, she rubs her face with her hands. "Listen, I love you. We've been friends forever, but you need to get your damn head out of the clouds. You are so wrapped up with your new boyfriend and in your new life, you can't even see what's going on around you."
"What am I missing?"
"Well, for starters you could at least act like you just lost one of your best friends. It hasn't even been two weeks yet, and you've forgotten him."
"Fuck you, Kayla. You have no idea how hard it is for me to function. I can barely breathe. All I can do is push it all away."
"You're doing a fucking great job of it. Theron must be amazing if he can make you forget a friend's death."
"Go to hell, Kayla! I need him. He's the only reason I'm holding my shit together. You have no clue what it's like to feel your heart being ripped out."
"You, dumb bitch! You have always had the perfect little charmed life. Everything has always been so easy and perfect for you. Someone dies and you lose your shit. You’ve changed. You’ve become completely self-involved. I don’t even know who you are anymore. Matt was my friend too, damn it! All three of us were inseparable, or have you forgotten that too? You know what, don't fucking answer that. I’m done with you.” Her shoulder slams into mine as she walks away.
"Where are you going?"
"Lunch. I still get a lunch, right? Is that against protocol? I wouldn't want you to run to the boss and rat me out again." Flipping me off, she slams the front door to the office.
My heart is racing. I'm so fucking furious right now. How could she think I forgot about Matt?
"Well, that was interesting." Bridgette stands behind me. I know she must have seen everything. This just keeps getting worse. I stare at the door. I want to go after Kayla, but we both need to calm down. I need to get out of here first.
"Yeah, interesting. Look, Bridgette, we really need to talk."
"And we will. I figured you might be put off by everything today, so I made a reservation at Talmon's. Grab your things and we'll head out."
"Talmon's? How is that even possible? They are booked months in advance."
"I used to date the head chef, so I pulled some strings. Get your things, I'll drive."
Ignoring the last part, about her driving, I grab my purse and log out of my computer. Taking a quick look around my desk, I grab the picture of Robert and me at the beach, the books I have tucked around my desk, and I take a couple stacks of sticky notes. Who doesn't need sticky notes?
After making sure I had everything I head to the parking lot with my keys in my hand. Bridgette is waiting by a sporty looking silver BMW.
"Is this yours?"
"No, it's…well, let's just call him a friend for now. Are you not coming with?" She nods to the keys in my hand.
"No, I need to stop at the pharmacy, so I'm going to drive separate." She smiles sweetly at me, but I swear I see her left eye twitch.
I pull up to Talmon's and park the car myself. Bridgette pulls up to the valet, but I want to be able to leave quickly, if I need to.
I feel my phone vibrate in my purse as I sling it over my shoulder. It's Theron. I don’t read his message, but I send him a text.
Dropping my phone back into my purse, I walk into the restaurant. I have never actually eaten here before. It is way out of my price range, and from my understanding, the salads are made from dandelions. I have no reason to eat that crap. I prefer burgers and fries.
The hostess seats me at our table, directly across from Bridgette, who's already enjoying a glass of red wine. Isn't it a little early for that?
"Ms. Clarks, I would like to clear the air about some things."
"Eve, just because it's a business l
unch, doesn't mean we have to be all formal. Please, call me Bridgette."
I sigh. She is not making this easy. "Bridgette, I'm sorry, but I can't accept the position. I'm afraid this is my notice. I’ve already collected my things, and I won't be coming back to the office today. This is rather unprofessional, and I realize that, but it's my final decision."
Setting her glass of wine down, Bridgette straightens the silverware placed in front of her. "I'm rather shocked. I never imagined you backing down from a raise or management experience. However, as off putting as this conversation is, I would still like us to be friends. I admire your loyalty to your friends. I wish I had people who would do the same for me." A tear falls down her cheek and she wipes it away.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."
"Oh, it's not you, honey. Will you stay for lunch? I could really use some girl advice, and I don't have anyone else to turn to."
Not wanting to upset her, or leave her feeling like this, I nod my head in agreement.
"Thank you so much. Now if you'll just excuse me for a minute, I need to pull myself together."
While Bridgette's in the bathroom, I decide to check my phone. I have four messages from Theron, each one increasingly getting angrier. The last one is in all caps.
Not wanting to anger him any further, I send him a text.
I roll my eyes. What am I supposed to do while I wait for him?
Bridgette sits down and I can tell she's been crying, her eyes are red and puffy. "Everything okay?"
"As good as it can be. I started seeing this new guy. We were supposed to go out last night, but he never showed. Now I find out my ex-fiancé is dating some rotten, spoiled brat. She's horrid and taking complete advantage of him. His family can't stand her either. I don't know what he's sees in her. She's a complete selfish bitch."
"Wow, um, I'm so sorry. I don’t know what to say. How long were you and your ex together?"
"Two years, but we've known each other longer. Our families are really close."
"I can't imagine how that feels."
"The worst part is that I’m still in love with him. Everything was set to go, and he got in a fight with his parents. He called it off and I never heard from him again. He shut everyone out. He is an amazing guy, and now he's sleeping with some slut." Blowing her nose into her napkin, she looks around.
I'm assuming she's looking to see if anyone is taking notice of her, but then I see an evil dark look take over her features. She sits back with a grin on her face, which I'm sure the devil created. My stomach feels heavy, as if it's full of stones weighing me down, pulling me under water. I feel like I'm drowning.
"Hello, Theron."
Everything is in slow motion. I barely register her saying his name, as I turn around to spot Theron coming up behind me. The look of worry and desperation is plainly written all over his face. How would Bridgette know his name? Then it hits me. I'm the slut. I'm the selfish bitch her ex fiancé is sleeping with.
"What the fuck is this?" I wave my finger back and forth between them. She continues to sneer at me, and Theron drops his head.
"Beautiful.”
Holding up my hand, I cut him off. "Do not call me beautiful. What the fuck is going on? You were engaged?"
Bridgette gasps, but I refuse to look at her. Everything is making sense. She was punishing me for being with Theron by attempting to destroy my relationship with my friends.
She lets out an eerie maniacal laugh, "It's her? This is the one you refused to let go of? This is your beautiful girl you fell in love with? For Christ sakes, Theron. You were what? Twelve? Thirteen? You didn't know what love was. All you had was a friend who didn’t tease you because of your eyes. You are such a freak. Wait until I tell your dad about this. He's going to love this! I hope he destroys the both of you!"
Theron stands beside me, clenching and unclenching his fists. Anger, frustration, and hatred are emanating from him. "Screw off, Bridgette. Nobody gives a shit about your plastic ass. I have no idea how you are involved with all of this, but I will find out. You will regret this."
"The only thing I regret is sleeping with you. Is he rough with you, Eve? Does he tie you up too? Do you want to know why he does that? It's because he's not right in his head. His dad always said he was a freak. Now, I understand why."
Turning my head back and forth, I look between Theron and Bridgette. They were engaged. He was engaged. She still loves him. I've just hit my breaking point. My head is swirling. He knew it was me all along. I was the one who didn't remember, I was the one left in the dark. What other secrets does he have? This is too much, too soon. Shaking my head back and forth, I stand at the table. "I have to go. I can’t do this."
Theron looks straight into my eyes, his fear obvious. "Can't do what, beautiful?"
"Don't. Don't you dare call me that! You were engaged, Theron! That might be something you tell your girlfriend before she moves in. You knew who I was. I've dreamt about a boy with sunglasses so many times, and I just recently had suspicions it was you. I thought you didn’t remember, but you knew this whole time." A sudden realization dawns on me and I run for the front door. Theron runs after me, grabbing my arm as I reach the sidewalk. "Let go!"
"No. Not until you talk to me."
"Tell me why you were there."
"Why I was where?"
"At the laundromat, Theron. Why were you there? I know you have a washer and dryer. Hell, you could even have used your Gram's. Oh my, God. You were stalking me! That's so fucked up. Is that why you were there that night at the restaurant?"
"I just wanted a chance to tell you who I was, but then everything went to shit. I didn't want to mess you up, or hurt you any more than you already were."
"What gives you the right to determine what will, or will not hurt me? You kept secrets from me. You were engaged before, and kept it to yourself. Now, I find out us meeting wasn't even a coincidence?" Yanking my arm from his grasp, I open my car door. "How long, Theron?"
"Maybe six months, I don't know. I saw you at a bookstore. Then, they said your name and I knew I had found you again. I wasn't going to let you go."
"You followed me around for six months? What the hell? You could have just said hello, or introduced yourself, but instead you stalk me for six months. Then, you make me fall in love with you, invite me to move in, and convince me I need you. Did you think I wouldn’t find out? I hate secrets, Theron! Secrets are made to be broken. That's how I feel right now. You broke me." He clings to my door as I slide into my seat.
"Wait, please, I love you. Let's go home, we can talk this out." His hands fall to his side. He must know he's lost this battle.
"Oh, I'm going home, just not to yours. I'm going to my mom's. It's where I should have been all along." Slamming my door, I start my car. Tears stream down my face as I glance back at Theron in my mirrors. He's just standing there, not moving, with his hands behind his head.
My fireworks have just exploded in my face, and I have been burned.
I'm lying in my bed at my parent's house, hiding under the covers. Anger, tears, anger and more tears consume me. It appears my heart and mind are having it out. It's been three days. I haven't left my parents’ house except for my visit to my doctor. It turns out I need to make an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon, just to make sure it's healing right. They gave me a business card with a number on it. I'm supposed to call and make an appointment, but I don't want to talk to anyone, let alone leave the house.
I hear my door open, but I won't come out. I'm hiding from the secrets, which are now exposed, eating away at what's left of my heart. Pressing my palm to my chest, I check to make sure it's still beating. I can feel it thump with my hand, but on the inside, it feels void.
My dreams are hellish. The boy with the sunglasses is constantly taken from me, but he's different every time. I watch him get dragged away, his sunglasses fall off, and then suddenly I'm looking at Matt. The next time it will be Theron. I can honestly say I've love
d them both, it may be in different ways, but I've loved both.
Burying my face into my pillow, I wonder what would have happened if Matt would have said something sooner. Could I have loved him like I love Theron? The idea takes off and courses through my mind with the possibility, but my heart thumps a steady ‘no’.
Someone sighs. They can't make me come out of here. I'm not ready. Theron would have pulled me out of my self-pity by now. He'd probably tell me he loves me, but I stink. Tears fall softly from my eyes as I remember the first time he said he loved me.
“Evelyn, you need to be done with this. Feeling sorry for yourself is never going to help you heal. Robert is coming by for you. I packed a bag."
Coming by for me? Are they kicking me out? What kind of parent does that? Slowly sitting up, I pull the covers down from my face. "Are you making me leave? I have to go?"
My mom wrings her hands in her apron. The fact of her even wearing an apron makes me smile, just a little. I remember being in high school and asking her why she always wears aprons. I will never forget her response, ‘Aprons help me carry in fresh food from the garden, grab hot pans from the oven, dry my hands, and most importantly they wipe your tears when you are hurt.’ I never fully understood it until now. I so badly want to be little again, so my mom could wipe away my tears and pull me into her arms. As an adult, my tears may come less frequently, but they fall even harder now.
"No. I don't want you to go, but what am I to do? You won't eat. You won't tell me anything. You just sit in here and cry. Robert and you have always had an unspoken connection. You can read each other like books. When you were little, you always comforted each other by trying to make the other one laugh. I don't know how it feels to lose two people in such a short time. Robert wants you to come stay with him, even if it's just for a couple days."
