Maggie pushed him away and sat up in bed, crossing her arms around herself. She wouldn’t look him in the eye.
Oh hell. He hoped he didn’t push for too much too fast.
“I have really missed you,” he admitted. He stroked her arm.
Maggie turned, facing him though she wouldn’t meet his eyes. From the way her teeth sank into her lower lip and the firm set of her shoulders, he could tell she was confused by what they’d done. Even though he knew she’d enjoyed herself. She’d been wet and willing and had orgasmed for him.
But at least she didn’t run screaming like Allison.
“I’ve really missed you too,” she said finally. “Sax, I’ve never done anything like that.” She finally looked at him.
He nodded. “I know. When we first met, you’d told me you weren’t very experienced.”
She shook her head. “I spent all my time in high school and college studying my ass off to get ahead. There were only two men before you and both of those relationships were, uh, well—”
“Vanilla?” he supplied dryly.
“Very.”
“And this wasn’t exactly full-on kink.” He winked at her. After they’d slept together the first time, he’d probed her a little for information on her sexual history. She had mentioned no sort of kinks and he hadn’t pressed further, because it seemed to bother her. Frankly, he’d been so in love with her, he hadn’t thought about the long-term sexual issues they might face due to his fetishes. He just knew he’d fallen in love with her.
“Did it frighten you?”
“Frighten?” She shook her head. She gave a nervous little laugh. “No. That’s not the word for it. I enjoyed myself.” He could see a blush creeping up her cheeks. “I think that’s maybe the problem. I didn’t think I’d enjoy that sort of thing.”
“Being taken like that?” he prompted.
She nodded. “But I trust you and you gave me an out if I needed one.”
“That’s called a safe word and I would never do anything you didn’t like, or didn’t want.” He took a deep breath. “I want it to be good for both of us and you seemed to be in the moment with me.”
“I was.”
“Okay then. So don’t overanalyze it. You liked what we did. I more than liked what we did. So, would you ever consider trying other things with me?”
She was quiet for a moment. Then she nodded. “Yes, as long as we play with the safe word and I can stop if I want.”
He felt as if his heart would burst. It was more than he could hope for, considering how badly he’d botched this. “Fair enough, love.”
Her expression turned stern. “And here is a more pressing issue. Why didn’t you trust me enough to tell me about all of this in the first place? I had no clue what was going on. The last month we were together, we just sort of fell apart. We didn’t talk. We didn’t have sex. You seemed so distant whenever I tried to talk it out.”
He pulled back to rest on his elbow. He felt like an ass for driving the wedge between them. “I’m sorry about that, love. The blame for that is all mine. I was trying to find a way to tell you, but I couldn’t. Frankly, I couldn’t bring myself to, couldn’t stand the fallout.”
She matched his pose, leaning on one arm, lying across from him. “Why? Did you think I would freak out or run away?”
“Experience told me you would.” He paused, considering, but then just decided to lay it all out for her. “My first fiancée did.”
Her eyes widened in recognition. “Allison? I remember you telling me you were engaged in college, but you never really said much about it.”
He nodded. “God. That was fifteen years ago. We were young, in our senior year at university, and both from very conservative families. We’d known each other since we were in nappies and we went to school together our entire lives. I was her first and I suppose finding out that the man who loves you wants to tie you to his bed and have his way with you was too much.” Of course, they’d both been all of nineteen, what had he expected from a sheltered girl? He’d been such an idiot to just blurt it out all at once. Allison had never recovered from that. She’d dumped him and hadn’t spoken to him since.
“I can see that.” She touched his face, bringing him out of his thoughts. “But I’m thirty-three years old and I hate to break it to you, big guy, you weren’t my first. I’m older, much more worldly. You could have told me this weeks ago and saved us both a lot of pain.”
“I’m sorry, Mags. I really am. Please forgive me for putting you through all that. It’s just…I thought I would do everything right this time. I would put aside those desires, make a commitment to you and the plan was to get past it.”
“Of course I forgive you.” She sighed. “You didn’t think I could handle it?”
“Well, that’s the proverbial elephant in this situation. Can you handle it? You seemed to enjoy yourself, but right now you are a little standoffish. What do you really think about what we did?”
“Oh, I had a very good time, but what does this sexual dynamic mean for our relationship?”
He understood what she meant. Whenever a power dynamic was introduced into a sexual relationship, there was a question of whether that spilled over into all other aspects of their marriage. “It means that I’m the boss in the bedroom and nowhere else.” While he liked to be on top sexually, he wanted a partner in everyday life.
Her face cleared and that seemed to satisfy her. For the moment. He knew her all too well. Maggie would digest this and pick it apart and analyze it, and he’d get a new barrage of questions. That was just fine by him. “Okay.” She nodded.
He reached out and brushed a curl away from her face. “Mags, what we just did was very mild compared to some scenarios that appeal to me.”
Her eyes rounded. “Wow. That was mild?”
He couldn’t help but laugh. Oh what a sheltered sexual life she had led, no doubt both of the blokes she’d had a relationship with had been bland as hell in the bedroom. Sax knew he could introduce her to some darker delights that just might rock her world.
She bit her lip again and it was all he could not to pounce on her, kiss her. She blew out a breath after a moment and nodded. “Tell you what. We will try some things and see what happens, okay? But if I don’t like something I’ll say so and we’ll stop.”
Sax couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. He should have known his wife was made of stronger stuff than Allison. While she was just as innocent, she was a great deal more open-minded.
“But I want something in return.”
“Name it.”
“Honesty. You need to start opening up to me. That tall, dark and silent crap only works in movies.”
That was a tall order.
He’d always been taught to keep his own counsel. Call it a side effect of being raised in English boarding schools, but he always played everything close to the chest and it usually served him well. He’d only seen his parents on holidays and even then? They seemed more preoccupied by work and their own social lives. Not that he was complaining. He’d lived a privileged, albeit lonely existence. However, Mags seemed to want something more from him, so he would try to offer it up, even if it made him grit his teeth.
“I will open up to you as much as I can.” It was a promise he intended to keep. He couldn’t live without her. He knew that now. The past couple of months had been painful.
“Good.” She grinned at him and reached out to trace his lips with her finger.
His heart kicked in his chest. Christ, it felt good. He’d missed that closeness, that sense of bonding. He fully intended to keep her enthralled with him. Wanted her to look at him this way when he was a very old man, tucked in his sickbed.
“I want you to come over tomorrow,” he offered. “I could make us dinner.”
“You don’t cook.”
“Maybe I do now. You don’t know. I could have taken some cooking classes while we were apart.”
She frowned. “Why don’t you
come to my place instead? I always come to your place. You only went to my apartment twice while we were dating and once was to help me move some boxes over here.”
He liked being in his space, surrounded by his things. And his woman. She should get comfortable being here with him again. He wanted Mags to move back in to his apartment and his life, but he sensed she was still hesitant. He would give her some space. For now. Let her adjust to sexual needs. Get comfortable with him again. “Come on, love. I’ll make it worth your while.”
She sighed, a teasing smile forming on her pouty lips. “Are you trying to seduce me with the promise of good food?”
“Do I have to try? I thought I’d lured you in earlier with the promise of taboo sex.”
She laughed, slapping his arm playfully. “Fine. I’ll be over tomorrow, but the dinner better be fabulous.”
She leaned back against him and they were both quiet for a while. Her skin felt so smooth against his fingertips. He couldn’t stop touching her, almost afraid he’d wake up and find the strained silence still between them.
She shook her head and Sax heard a giggle escape her mouth.
“What is it, minx?”
“Nothing,” she said, but her voice was high-pitched.
He couldn’t suppress a smile. “Out with it.”
“God, you know what? I’m actually a bit relieved, I thought there was some horrible secret, like you were also married to another woman or you were a spy. Something crazy.”
“Saxon. John Saxon,” he said, waggling his eyebrows in his best Scottish brogue. “Really? You thought I was a spy?”
She looked him in the eye. “I didn’t know what to think. I understand that you were afraid this would end our relationship. But is there anything else, Sax? Anything else you haven’t told me?”
So, this was it.
He wanted to tell Maggie he’d been hiring girls to spank, but would she balk at that? That was the sort of thing a man should confess to. He paused, wanting to tell her about the other women, but he couldn’t. He had just gotten her back. Sax couldn’t bear to push her away again. He knew she would see it as a betrayal. And it was. Perhaps the best course was to tuck this away and suffer the guilt?
“No, that’s all of it.” He felt like an ass for lying to her, but rationalized it. He never had sex with any of those women. Never felt anything for them. They were separated when it happened.
Besides, he doubted she would ever find out. Why cause her unnecessary pain?
She settled back in against him, letting out a sigh and relaxing. “Okay then.”
He turned on his side so he could stare down into her face. “We are going to see each other then? Date?”
She nodded slowly. “Yes, we are going to date for a while.” She smiled. “Sax, do you ever think we rushed into this relationship?”
He knew they had, but he had no regrets about marrying her so fast. “Yes, but what was I supposed to do? You walked into my world and turned my life upside down.” He smiled ruefully. “I haven’t been right since. And, love? I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Chapter Three
Sax felt as if he were about to go on a first date rather than have an evening with his wife.
He hadn’t been able to concentrate all day, daydreaming during meetings about seeing her, drifting off in the middle of reading his email to imagine the curve of her lips, the feel of that voluptuous, spankable ass. Later that afternoon, he hadn’t even heard his phone ringing until his colleague had marched over to his office and given him an irritated look.
In short, he’d been a mess.
This sort of distraction wasn’t like him. Sax had participated in a lot of bondage play with all sorts of women, but this was the first time he’d dominated a woman he loved. Maybe that was the difference. He never could have imagined that she would be the perfect partner. In life, as well as in his bed. He couldn’t believe his good fortune.
While he hadn’t cooked, he had stopped at the market and picked up some food for both of them. He’d set the scene too. There was some classical music on in the background, something low and melodious. Something to put her at ease so he could pounce on her. He’d also lit several candles and placed them throughout the room. The scene was romantic yet erotic.
He heard the key turning in the lock and his hands shook just a bit. She walked in, holding the keys to his apartment he’d insisted she keep. She spun them around one finger before placing them in her pocket.
“Hi, honey, I’m home,” she said, her cheeks turning a deep shade of pink. She bit down on her lower lip.
“Hi.” Inane, but he couldn’t seem to find that charm that never failed him in a courtroom. They were both nervous.
She took off her white trench coat and folded it over her arm. He hurriedly took it from her, hung it up in the hall closet.
“I’m glad you came. You look amazing.” He eyed her black cocktail dress. It had a little tie around her neck that he was itching to undo. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek. Christ, she smelled good. She always smelled good. Like roses. Sweet.
She gave him a wavering smile, a little nervous. And a little excited if he chose to believe her nipples, which poked through the black fabric. Good, she was just as turned-on.
She raised a brow. “What kind of exotic meal did you make?”
“I made finger food.”
She laughed.
“You got me. I didn’t cook. I basically cut some things up, but what I lack in culinary expertise, I make up for in presentation.” He indicated that she should sit on the couch with a wave of his arm. “How about a light supper? I have grapes, cheese, turkey, a bit of Virginia ham and wheat crackers.” He’d cut all of the lunchmeat and cheese into precise cubes. Very smart choice, if he did say so himself. No offensive smells and nothing too heavy to weigh them down for fun in a few minutes. He brought the tray of goodies as well as two wineglasses and a bottle of the Pinot noir she favored and set them all on the steel coffee table.
“Are you hungry, Maggie?” He poured them both a glass of wine.
She took a sip from her glass, swirling the red liquid and staring into it. “No, not really.” A lovely flush spread from her cheeks to her neck and between her lush breasts. “Are you hungry?”
His cock pulsed. “Oh, I’m hungry all right.”
She kept fiddling with the tie around her neck. Good. She found it just as distracting as he did. She toed off her black heels and crossed her fishnet-clad legs, rubbing them together. He had the urge to slide his hand beneath her skirt. Wondered if she wore a garter belt beneath to hold up those stockings. Or were they thigh-highs? Was she wearing panties? What kind?
She cleared her throat. “Sax?”
He shook his head. From the moment he’d woken this morning the only thing he’d craved was her. Hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything besides her. This had felt like the longest day of his life. “Why don’t we take in the view?” he suggested.
He flipped the living room light switch off so they could gaze into the cool spring night without getting a reflection back. A fierce wind had sliced through the cherry blossoms, sending petals spinning in little eddies outside the window. Like a ballet. It was the perfect night to stay inside and warm up.
Or get hot.
She tasted the wine again. “It’s really magical out there. I always did like your view.”
“I’m admiring a view of my own.” He wrapped his arms around her, brushed her hair to the side and kissed the back of her neck. She shuddered in his arms. Just like always. It was one of her most sensitive places.
Fuck.
He wanted her so badly his cock felt as if it would punch through his trousers. He’d intended to tease her, to seduce her into obedience, before he mastered her. But as soon as he got his hands on her all thoughts of Don Juaning had been replaced by primal lust, urging him to toss her over the nearest piece of furniture and fuck the hell out of her.
He forced himse
lf to be calm. To seduce. He trailed kisses up the line of her neck, over her soft cheek, and then finally kissed her lips. He turned her head to the side, feeding at her bow of a mouth.
He kissed a trail to her jaw. “I want you, Maggie,” he whispered against her ear.
She shuddered again.
He set his glass down on the ledge and undid the bow at the neck of her dress. The satin ties drifted down along her shoulders. Her skin was so fucking smooth. So soft. Pale and perfect. The dress peeled back to reveal her full breasts. She hadn’t worn a bra and they sprang forth, large and ripe.
She shivered, and he was willing to bet not just from the chill of the windowpane.
“Just say ‘coffee’ if I do anything you don’t like,” he reminded. He kissed the back of her neck and then her bared shoulders. Her skin had goose pimpled at his touch. She wanted this as much as he wanted to give it to her.
“Oh God,” she murmured.
“More like the devil.” He smiled against her skin. The back of her dress was open in a full V with a zipper at the waist that went down to the middle of her full ass.
He undid the zipper slowly, taking his time—like a boy opening the best birthday present ever—then slid the dress down her legs. Christ.
The creamy mounds of her ass were barely covered by the black scrap of her panties. He gave her ass a good swat. She stepped out of the dress and he tossed it in the general direction of the couch. His eyes flicked to the glass to take in the complete view. She was gorgeous, a sight to behold.
Pearly skin, puckered nipples. Dimpled, hairless sex. Long red hair that she’d swept up into a tight bun with two silver clips. He unfastened the clips and pitched them away too, letting her silken hair fall into his hands.
Clad only in that black thong and black fishnet thigh-highs, she was pushed up against the window so her breasts and hot pussy were forced against the frosty surface of the glass. He fisted her hair in his hands, holding her still. Her nipples were stiff, sliding against the glass, her pussy leaving steam on the surface.
TietheKnot Page 3
