by Celia Kyle
“You can touch me however—whenever—you desire, yet…” he wondered why the Knowing had not provided her with this information, but she truly seemed confused by his reaction. He lifted one hand and brought it toward the upper bend of his wing, the knuckle peeking over his shoulder. “Preor find pleasure in the touch of their mates. We are a tactile species.” He drew her fingers even closer, straightening his spine and preparing for the unimaginable pleasure that was to come. “But when a male is touched by his mate, should her torment move to his wings, a warrior can lose every ounce of his hard-won control.”
Zadri forced the very tips of her fingers to brush his wing and a violent shudder racked his body. He trembled, balls drawing up tight and hard against his body. He would not fill his pants with his syha’i—cum—like an adolescent. “This gives me great pleasure, Delaney, and unless that is your wish, it would be best if you do not touch my wings.”
He let go of her and prayed to the skies that her hand would remain in place. It did not and Zadri attempted not to allow his disappointment to show.
“I didn’t want you to get Chashan. Peachy is a human idiom. It means I’m fine.” She twined her fingers together and rested them on the mound of her belly. “That’s all. I’m fine.”
He grunted. He was not sure he believed her but he would not call his mate a liar. That would be dishonorable.
“You are this ‘fine,’ then?” He watched her closely, searching for any hint of an untruth.
“-ish?” She raised her eyebrows. “I’m fine-ish.”
“I do not know the word ish.” He sought the Knowing inside him, hunted the blood knowledge. Since it was human knowledge he sought, it was blunted and slow, a gradually meandering river instead of raging rapids.
And it did not give him the answer. Other mated males indicated the Knowing provided them with all information about humans as well as their genetic history, but he was not receiving that full gift.
Because Delaney was not his mate? No. The Knowing’s presence confirmed his tie to her. Then why…
It did not matter. He would ask Chashan about it. Later. At that moment, Delaney swayed slightly on the platform and he moved even closer, allowing her to use him to remain upright.
“It means I’m not one-hundred-percent, but I’m not going to die.”
Zadri growled low, a rush of unfamiliar anger suffusing him. “You will never die.”
He would not allow it.
Delaney snorted and pulled away from him. He did not wish to be parted, but he could not force a female to do anything she did not wish. He would not insult the skies by dishonoring his mate.
“But I’ve already seen my death.” It was not simply her words that scared him—him, a Preor warrior—but the flat, defeated tone. “Haven’t I?”
Zadri cursed himself and even allowed some of his anger to flow to the skies, as well. Why did his mate have to see his battle with Ballakin? By the skies, why?
Acting on instinct and memories from his own past, he scooped Delaney into his arms and carried her to a nearby seat. He held her close, recalling how comforting it was to be wrapped in another’s arms and soothed. He’d merely been five turnings the last time he’d experienced such a comforting, but he still remembered. Even to this day.
He expected her to fight him, to push and shove at his touch, but her head merely thumped against his shoulder while she released a soft sigh. She was boneless in his arms, a comfortable weight in his embrace.
Was it dead weight? Had he killed her so easily?
A jolt of panic struck him and pushed her away from him enough to meet her surprised stare. Her chest heaved with breath and her eyes were open though they were filled with an odd moisture. He would focus on their open status. Perhaps he had not killed her?
He would act as if he had not just in case she still lived. He would speak the truth about his battle with Ballakin and then allow her to judge him worthy… or unworthy.
“You did not see your death, Delaney.” Shaa kouva. He once more kept the endearment to himself. He would not push any type of mating with her. He would act as her mate, but he would not presume too much. Not until their connection could be explained.
At least, that was his thought now. He could not make promises for the future.
A single tear trailed down her cheek, glistening droplet leaving a barely there trail. He captured it with his thumb, wiping the stain from first one cheek and then the other. “Do not cry, shaa kouva.” Already he had broken his word. The skies would damn him to the earth for eternity. “I never wish to make you cry. Merely explain.”
Delaney sniffled and wiped her face, rubbing her nose on her forearm. “It’s the baby. It’s turned me into an emotional mess and then I saw…”
Another tear. And then another.
“You saw me battle Ballakin,” he finished for her. There was no denying the truth.
“He was my mate…” she licked her lips, bits of flesh glistening and tempting him. “I think. I felt a little bit of this with him,” she shook her head. “But it doesn’t work that way. Does it?”
No, it did not, and the Knowing at least told him that.
“Ballakin was the third fleet’s Primary Defense Warrior.” A position just beneath the Defense Master—his own. “When Esteemed Warrior Evuklar chose to remain on Earth, Ballakin believed himself to be the fleet’s next Defense Master because he had held the position of Primary Defense Warrior for some time.”
“But he wasn’t.”
Zadri shook his head. “No. He would not have been chosen by Offense Master Rendan. In his anger, he attempted to injure—“
“Kill.”
He sighed and nodded. “He attempted to kill Rendan’s mate, Carla. What you… experienced was the fight to rescue Carla. While Rendan caught his mate, I—“
Delaney’s fingers went to her throat, digits skating over her pale skin. “Ripped out his throat.” The words were no more than a harsh rasp, hardly discernable.
“Yes. And I will regret causing you that pain for eternity.” Beyond eternity.
She shook her head. “No, it wasn’t…” She closed her eyes, fingers still rubbing that spot. “He deserved it, didn’t he?”
“Who?” He had learned how to play dumb from Carla—a human—so he did not feel it was dishonorable to do so now.
“Ballakin,” she whispered the name and he heard the edge of disgust in her tone. “I can feel it,” she moved her palm to rest between her breasts. Breasts he did not wish to taste or caress. He refused to acknowledge his lie. “Here. I can feel it here. He was…” she shook her head. “Evil? Hateful? I sensed his feelings and he would have…”
Delaney trembled and gasped before her whole body heaved, a great shake that nearly tore her from his arms. In truth, when she repeated the motion, she did pull free and land on hands and knees on medical’s hard flooring.
“Shaa kouva!” He was still having trouble keeping the simplest of promises.
He dropped to his knees beside her, hands raised, but he didn’t reach for her as he wished. He did not know where to touch her—how to help her. He was useless as she made those gasping, retching sounds.
She heaved once more, back bowing and head hanging low as she spat on the ground. He slowly lowered one hand, running it down her back before gently rubbing circles over her cloth-covered skin. He’d seen a human dam perform a similar ritual when attempting to soothe her young and he wondered if it would help adults as well.
“I’m fine.” She breathed in harsh pants, air heaving in and out of her lungs before she spat again. “I’m fine.”
The second time she spoke, she sounded stronger, as if she didn’t need him any longer. Zadri kept his hand on her regardless. “Just in case” as Carla often said. Until he understood Delaney and her condition better, he would be extra careful. And he would need to do more research on humans. His Delaney seemed… fragile. Much more fragile than the other human-Preor mates.
“I will get Chash
an.”
She shook her head, hair swinging back and forth, the dark curtain hiding her features from view and then a low chuckle reached him. “No. I just…” She shifted her weight and he did what he could to brace her, helping her ease back until she rested on her knees. “I felt his emotions. I saw everything he was going to do—wanted to do.” Tear-filled eyes met his. Her constant tears proved he was a poor mate. “If you hadn’t killed him he would have…”
“Do not think on it, Delaney.” He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her once more. He sat back on his heels and rested some of her weight on his thighs. Her abundant curves aligned with the hardened planes of his body and he damned himself for enjoying the position. He tried to focus on their conversation and not his desperate need. “Do not let his poison stain you.” He breathed deeply, reveling in the feel of her so close while her scent filled his lungs. “I will forever regret that you experienced his evil as well as his death.” She trembled and he would not be put off any longer. He would care for his mate no matter her objections. “I am fetching Chashan now.”
“No.” She dug her fingers into his arms. “I’m okay. As okay as I can be. Don’t open the doors.”
Their tenuous connection allowed him to feel some of her tumultuous emotions. He did not sense a fear of Chashan within her, nor a fear of him any longer, but a fear of… others entering the room. A fear of having others close. As if being on Earth scraped at his mate’s very flesh. He did not understand why, but he did not have to understand. He had to merely make her happy.
“As you wish, I will not open the doors.” He ran his hand up and down her back, hoping to soothe her further with the gentle touch. “We will remain as we are for as long as you wish.”
He did not mention that the contents of her stomach still decorated medical’s floor. Or that it smelled worse than an ikati—similar to an Earth sailfish—rotting on the beaches of the Gor Ari sea.
“Okay.” She nodded and repeated the word in a low whisper. “Okay.”
They stayed in place, his embrace loose while he continued to calm his mate. He was not sure how much time passed, the clocks within Preor Tower medical silent. He’d read of some time-keepers in Earth history that actually ticked. He was not sure if the sound would annoy him. Perhaps it would be pleasing to his mate. He would ask once—
Something nudged his belly, a press that was soft yet firm at the same time. It pushed once, then again, and finally a third time before he released Delaney and eased back. Was there further internal damage Chashan had not revealed that would cause such movement? He ran his gaze down her body and the slow undulating of her stomach snared his gaze. It also sent a new type of panic surging inside him.
“You are well? Our dragonlet? Is it…” It appeared lopsided, as if the young one distorted its dam’s body. “Is it supposed to act in that way?”
Delaney chuckled, roundness shaking while she stroked the curve. “He’s moving around in there. Space is getting limited the further along I get. He’s just letting me know he’s cramped.” Her attention turned to her pregnant belly and he ached with the loss. “Hello, sweetheart. Momma knows you need more space, but I’ve only got so much.”
“It… does not hurt?” Carla had told him so, but he’d only had her word. Now he could hear the truth directly from Delaney’s lips.
She shook her head. “No, not exactly comfortable all the time, but it doesn’t hurt.”
He would read more. He was not sure she spoke the truth either and the Knowing still remained elusive when it came to details of humans.
A high-pitched screech sounded from the hallway, the noise so loud it pierced the metal walls and zipped through the room. Delaney flinched and he pushed to his feet, bringing her with him. He kept his hands on her, worried the shifting dragonlet inside her would send her toppling over. Bearing females did not appear to be very sound on their feet. In truth, Delaney was rather… lopsided.
“Come, we will calm your dam. She will stop her yelling and then you will no longer have high pressure in your blood.”
The plan was a sound one.
“No.”
Until his mate disagreed with him.
“Delaney?” He raised his eyebrows, waiting for her response.
“No,” she pulled away, shaking her head. “I can’t… I can’t…” She swallowed hard and he forced himself to hold his position. It would not be good to chase a female—dishonorable. “I can’t be here.”
“Then I shall take you…” Somewhere. They could not return to his Earth quarters—a small room in the condo he shared with other warriors. He was not sure how quickly an empty condo could be prepared for a new couple, either. And with Delaney bearing and ill… he worried over her comfort. “I do not have an aerie on Earth for us.”
Why had he not demanded one when he first experienced an inkling of their connection?
Because I am unworthy.
Yet the skies must have disagreed because there Delaney stood—his mate, his one.
“Oh.” Her shoulders slumped and she trembled, another screech followed by a bellow reaching out for them.
There was only one option for him—one place he could take his mate where she could rest and be at ease. “I have a suite of rooms on the ship that orbits above Preor Tower. You would be surrounded by males much of the time, but they will not speak with you or touch you.” Or he would kill them. “When the pressure of your blood is stabilized, your dam and sire can—“
“No,” she snapped, any hint of vulnerability now gone. “No. My parents will never come on the ship. I don’t want to see them again.”
Zadri jolted, unable to believe the words coming from his mate. “Ever?”
“Never.” Her voice was firm, unbending, stronger than any determined warrior’s.
“Your dam and sire—“
“Non-negotiable.”
Yes, he could see that now. The way she held herself, the way her eyes turned flat and hard. Zadri tipped his head in acknowledgment, reveling in her agreement to go to the ship yet regretting her choice to reject her parents. To have a dam and sire that wished to be close to their dragonlet… it was every child of Syh’s dream.
Once upon a time, it was his dream.
4
Delaney grew even more comfortable with Zadri the more time they spent together. Even the minutes between being alone in his presence in medical and then surrounded by others, helped. Now it’d been hours of waiting, quietly talking, and simply being near. Each second she remained awake—her mind reaching for Zadri’s—her memories of Ballakin’s death faded.
Ballakin… should she feel bad about his death? She recognized the truth in Zadri’s story, the bone-deep feelings inside him that he’d had no other choice. It’d come down to the life of a female and the bloodthirsty male. Ballakin had wanted to… Her stomach rolled, heaving even though the dead male’s emotions weren’t as strong inside her as they’d once been.
Yes, he’d deserved what he’d gotten. She just wished they hadn’t been tied at the time. She wished her fear of Zadri was gone completely.
Gone so that she wouldn’t shy away when he drew near. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. The orientation in PCST described finding a mate and the Knowing as something much more… pleasant. Not tainted with hate, death, and fear of her mate.
She’d actually looked forward to finding a mate. She couldn’t deny her hesitance when she’d first gone into PCST—she was agreeing to mate an alien—but the longer she sat there, surrounded by males who ached for a mate to cherish, she calmed even more.
The males wanted women like her—willing mates. And she’d been assured that if she found her mate among the Preor, they would welcome and care for her child.
Delaney rubbed her belly, softly caressing the mound. Her child would have two parents—two loving parents. That was the key in her mind. Loving. If not loving, at least there would be some sort of affection and caring. The Knowing wouldn’t manifest unless the
two were meant to be together.
Zadri had already shown his concern for both her and the baby. He’d even…
She stroked her stomach once more, lifting her attention from the gray floor of the short flight shuttle to the area around her. The space was tiny, packed with Preor sent to accompany them to the main ship that orbited in Earth’s atmosphere.
The ride was smooth, vehicle silently rising from the platform the Preor shared with the Ujal—a sea dwelling alien race that also called Earth home. The shuttle didn’t make any other sounds or even tremble as they rose. Only the slightest rustle of wings broke the quiet.
She scanned the interior, searching out her mate. He’d settled her in a seat and disappeared, leaving her surrounded by a Preor quad and the shuttle’s pilot. The pilot who’d disappeared into the cockpit. She tried to recall the names of the males in the quad but “pregnancy brain” made it difficult to remember things.
She sought out the one Preor she did recall, and spied the sunshine colored warrior near the back of the ship. A scar dissected his face, pale and twisted scar tissue marring his flesh. The Knowing informed her it was positioned in such a way that it had been meant as a killing blow. Memories of Ballakin’s death tried to surge and she mentally shuddered.
Delaney licked her lips and raised her voice. “Argan?”
The male stiffened, wings pulled tightly against his back while his attention snapped to her. “Delaney joi Zadri Cole?”
A weird feeling slithered through her, as if his address was right and yet wrong. A bit of both, maybe. Because of her tie to Ballakin, or because she wasn’t truly Zadri’s mate until they, uh, mated.
“Do you know where Zadri is?” Another thought struck her and she shoved back her rising worry. “He’s on the ship, right?”
Because yes, she’d wanted to get away from her parents. No, she hadn’t wanted to be sent off alone. She didn’t know Zadri well, but she did know that she preferred having him close. It wasn’t fear that plagued her, but simple unease. Right.
