* * *
LAUREN GROANED, BUT REFUSED to open her eyes. She didn’t know what time it was and didn’t want to know. The night had been long, first with her telling Jake the full details of Naliani’s death and then falling asleep on him. She woke up on the sofa with a blanket over her for the second time. Then she went to bed.
Even though she was tired, she felt as if something calm had settled inside her. Maybe telling Jake the story had helped her in some way. She encouraged her patients to tell her everything about their ailments and even things about their lives. She was an advocate for healing the whole body.
Until now, it had never been her body.
And speaking of body, it was time to get up. Pushing the covers back, she swung her legs to the floor and lay there, half in and half out of the bed. It wasn’t normal for her to stay in bed so long. As an intern, she’d become accustomed to jumping out of the covers, instantly awake and ready to go. In her practice, she was often in the office before most of the staff arrived. Amy being the exception.
Since giving up her practice and staying in this apartment, she’d established a routine, but it had room for an occasional lapse.
A shower refreshed her. She was light-footed and humming a happy tune when she went down the stairs to the main room.
“Good morning,” Jake said as she stepped off the last rung. “How do you feel?”
“Isn’t that the question I should be asking you?” Lauren didn’t want to tell him how she felt. She was better now, although when she woke, last night was as clear in her mind as when she was lying against him on the sofa in the media room.
“I’m wonderful,” he said. “And since I am not the patient this morning...”
“Patient?” She latched onto the word.
“Bad choice of words,” he said. “Since I am not in pain or in need of assistance, I thought we should do something that’s all about you.”
“Me?”
He nodded. “You’ve previously taken me on drives, picnics and parties, all to show me something, teach me something or have me observe something. Because of your hard work, you deserve a reward. What would you like to do?”
“I get it,” Lauren said. “Because of me crying on your shoulder last night, you are going to show me something, teach me something or have me observe something and I get to choose what it is.”
“Don’t take all the fun out of it. This gesture comes from my heart.”
He made an exaggerated bow, putting his hand over his heart. Lauren smiled.
“All right,” she said. There was so much going on in New York all the time. Where could they go that she hadn’t been and wouldn’t see anyone who knew her? “The Circle Line Tour.”
“A ferry tour, with the tourists?” Jake asked.
Lauren knew she was unlikely to run into anyone she knew there. Even her former patients who lived in New York rarely went to any of the attractions that thousands of tourists flocked to see. And she did want to see some of the sights of the city. While she’d lived in Brooklyn, her schedule rarely left her time for a day to herself. She was either reading medical information, attending seminars, seeing patients or worrying about their symptoms. When Naliani came along, her time was more precious and harder to schedule than before.
“The tourists won’t eat you.” She smiled. “You’ve been on this tour before, right?”
“Not since I was twelve.”
“Good, then you won’t remember anything they told you because at twelve you weren’t listening. You were too busy either being an attention-getting jerk or trying to get noticed by a girl who wasn’t giving you the time of day.”
Jake laughed. “So true, so true. You go put on your sailor coat and I’ll check the dock times.”
Lauren’s heart lifted. She was wearing long pants and a shirt, but on the water she’d need a jacket and possibly a hat. Definitely sunglasses. She ran up the stairs. She didn’t have sailing clothes, but she knew the ferry was a little old and utilitarian. Anyone dressed to the nines would stand out like a polar bear in the Sahara.
The taxi ride was short as they got out on Pier 83. Jake must have gotten the tickets online, since they went right to the lineup to board.
“What time do we get on?” she asked.
“It leaves at ten, so a few minutes before that I suppose. Afterward, we’ll have lunch.”
The ship sailed right on schedule. Lauren was pleased with the upgraded amenities Jake had added. She sat in her plush chair and watched as the city unfolded before them. The guide gave information she’d never heard before. She had known that the superrich of the early nineteenth century had vast homes that were either apartment buildings now or had been completely demolished and something else stood in their place.
Jake watched her more than he looked at the skyline.
“You’re staring at me,” she said when they went under the second bridge.
“You’re fascinating,” he told her.
“How?”
“I never know what you’re going to say next, even right now.” He shrugged. “Your eyes are as big as saucers. You’re looking at everything as if you’ve never seen it before.”
“I haven’t,” she said. “This is a whole new world.”
He smiled, but said nothing.
The cruise lasted two and half hours. When Lauren stepped back on the pier, her knees gave way for a second or two. Being back on land took some getting used to. Jake was there holding her arm. He seemed a lot more comfortable with his arm, accepting it as part of him instead of trying to hide it.
Their lobster lunch had them laughing at some of the sights they’d seen and the anecdotes the guide had used. Lauren was having fun. It had been a long time since anyone put her first. She was the receiver, not the caregiver that afternoon. Lauren liked being with Jake. He was charming and funny when he wanted to be. She also knew he put on a mask to hide his true feelings from the world. It was normal. Everyone had some sort of defense mechanism. Hadn’t he told her she hid behind a glass wall and wouldn’t let anyone in?
He was wrong about that. He’d found the crack in the glass and slipped through it before she had a chance to seal it closed.
“More coffee?” a waiter asked.
Lauren hadn’t noticed him arrive. She shook her head, placing a palm over her coffee cup. “I’m good.”
Jake shook his head too. They each still had half a cup.
“What else would you like to do today?” Jake asked, taking a sip of his coffee.
Lauren thought a moment, biting her bottom lip.
“It’s your day,” he said.
“I want to go for a ride in a hansom carriage.”
“You’re kidding,” he said.
Smiling, she shook her head.
“You’re quite the tourist.”
“Come on,” she laughed. “You know you want to do it too, but the tough guy in you is scared people will find out.” She stared directly at him, lowering her eyes. “Don’t worry, I’m the keeper of secrets.”
* * *
“HANSOM CARRIAGES ARE such a part of New York that most people believe they started here,” the driver said.
Lauren and Jake were seated behind the driver as he began his trek through Central Park.
“In truth,” he continued, “they were developed in England and didn’t come here for a long time.”
Lauren turned to Jake. “See, the stuff you learn when you act like a tourist.”
He smiled and settled back against the seat. “I admit it has been a learning experience. Without you, I never would have done this.”
“You don’t like it?” She leaned forward, looking at him from the side.
“I didn’t mean that. I am enjoying myself. I just never expected to.”
“You mean when you went on those trips as a doctor, you nev
er wandered around the cities and took in the sites?”
“Some,” he said.
But Lauren had the feeling the some he visited were likely none.
“Why haven’t you already visited these places?” he asked.
“I have seen some of them. I’ve been to the Met, Columbus Circle, top of the Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty—”
“All right, you can stop. So you aren’t the typical New Yorker.”
“I’m from Maryland, but the place doesn’t matter. There are people who like to see things they’ve only read about and people who find just knowing about them is okay.”
“People can change,” Jake said.
“Yes,” she agreed.
“I enjoyed the history and the little bits of information that books don’t tell you. I might be interested in visiting more places.”
“What about when you go back to work?” she asked. “Are you going to be so driven that you never have time for anything except medicine from then on?”
He smiled and looked away a moment. “I notice you said when I go back to work.”
“Of course you’re going back. You love medicine and you love working.”
“I agree, medicine is a demanding mistress and I have missed her during these last two years, but I don’t want to go back to the schedule I had.”
“Why is that?”
“Someone opened my eyes to the fact that there are things outside of medicine.”
“But you’re known for doing all kinds of things in your old life. You did stuff that had nothing to do with medicine.”
“I did,” he corrected. “After I started surgery, there was no more time. I had to keep up with new techniques, innovations in the field, new procedures.”
“Every doctor has to do that.”
“I made it my life,” he said.
“I don’t think you can help that. It’s hard to go on a vacation while there is someone suffering.”
“I guess we understand each other,” Jake said.
The carriage took them much deeper into the park than the paths they had walked and far away from the apartment building. They got down from the hansom cat and Jake used his left hand to pull her arm through his right one. They walked that way for several blocks.
“Is there anything else you’d like to do? There’s still plenty of daylight left or we could go home, change and go out again.”
“There’s one other place I’d like to go today,” she told him.
“Your wish, if possible,” he cautioned, “is my command.”
Lauren didn’t join in his playfulness. “It’s in Brooklyn.”
“Then we’ll need a car.”
Lauren drove. Jake was extremely competent behind the wheel, but she knew where they were going. Jake seemed to have tapped into her mood. He rode without asking questions about their destination. He didn’t give her any inquiring looks or frowns. When she drove through the gates of the cemetery, he only glanced in her direction.
“How often have you come here?” Jake asked as they got out of the car. He took her arm as if she needed support.
“Not for several months. I used to come every day. Amy made me understand that wasn’t healthy. If we hadn’t talked last night, I’m not sure I would have come today.”
She squeezed his arm in thanks.
It’s beautiful,” Jake said as they stood in front of Naliani’s gravestone.
It was a child angel, its wings unfurled, its face as innocent as that of a newborn.
“Richard chose it,” she said.
Jake put his arm around her and pulled her into his side. “Do you want to be alone?” he asked gently.
She shook her head. “I’ve always been alone here. Thank you for being with me.”
They didn’t stay long. And tears didn’t fill Lauren’s eyes or slide down her cheeks. She wasn’t here to say goodbye. She loved her daughter and always would. She was here for peace, to see if that calmness that she’d felt when she woke would be different as she stood in front of her child’s grave. She didn’t break. She felt different, some emotion she didn’t understand, but she knew she could go on, that she could continue seeing children as patients and not have the experience break her.
She stepped back, indicating she was done. Jake didn’t relinquish his hold, but walked her back to the car in his careful embrace. This time he drove back to the apartment.
“Hungry?” he asked as they went inside.
They hadn’t eaten since they got off the cruise and that was hours ago now. Jake went to the kitchen.
“I’m not hungry,” Lauren called behind him.
He came back carrying a tray in one hand. On it was a bottle of wine, already open, glasses, a plate of fresh fruit, some cheese and bread.
“I didn’t do this,” he answered her questioning glance. “Except for the wine, everything was already set up.”
“Put the tray down,” she said, glancing at a table in front of the sofa.
Jake did as instructed and turned back to her.
“Thank you,” she said.
“For today?”
She nodded. “For understanding. For thinking of me. For listening to me cry and not judging me.” She paused and took a step toward him. They were only a couple of feet apart. Shifting even closer, she held his right hand. “I realized this morning that I was also missing something. I was virtually unable to use my heart, my emotions because I’d let my entire being be eclipsed by the loss of Naliani.
“I gave up my home, my colleagues, my friends, my job. I thought that moving away and beginning again would solve my problem, make it less painful. But it wouldn’t. I was afraid. I should have gone immediately, but I met Caleb and he gave me an opportunity to stay. Then I met you and you did the same, although you challenged me to the brink. There were times when I wanted to throw my hands up and walk out. But the thought of being out there alone was more frightening than staying here.”
“I’m sorry I treated you so badly.”
She smiled and Jake did too.
“It’s all right. It helped in the long run. Then last night happened. It felt like a sort of breakthrough. I’m not sure what it meant, but I knew when I woke this morning that everything was going to be all right.”
She rested her cheek on his chest.
“So thank you for giving me the use of my arm back.”
Jake didn’t say anything. She felt his heart beat faster. His hand reached under her chin and pulled her face up to his. Tenderly his mouth met hers. Lauren melted against him.
She’d been falling for him and his kiss only told her that the crush she had on Jake years ago had not died, but been reborn.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
EVERYTHING AROUND JAKE seemed to change after the night Lauren told him about her daughter. Their lives changed. They laughed more, danced a lot and spent hours each day outside. Sometimes they joined the throngs of tourists visiting one of New York’s landmarks and other times they spent the day driving and talking with no apparent destination in mind.
They’d see a road sign and decide to find out where it led. Jake liked this new venture into the unknown. When Naliani’s name was mentioned, there was no pain associated with it. The pain Jake had in his arm and shoulder all but disappeared. He let Lauren’s magic hands massage him to make sure it didn’t come back. And he liked her touch.
She chose romances or musicals for them to watch, and he chose action flicks. They enjoyed them all, but mainly he loved talking to her, hearing her laugh and watching her move about the apartment. She hummed a lot and he knew she was happier now than she’d been before.
Who would think so much between them could change for the better? Jake had compared her to his ex-girlfriend in the beginning, but the two were as different as night and day. Lauren was everything
he could want in a woman. They hadn’t shared another kiss since that night, but he couldn’t forget how she felt in his arms. He wanted to make her happy. There were times when he’d drift off into thought about things he could do to make her smile.
Jake was falling in love and there was nothing he could do about it. He’d passed the point of wanting to do anything about it a long while ago.
* * *
THE KITCHEN IN Amy’s brownstone smelled of baking bread and homemade pies.
“What is this?” Lauren asked as she came inside.
“I can’t explain it,” Amy said. “I thought I’d make a little dinner for us and somewhere between the sofa and the stove I lost my head. I kept going and going as if the army was coming by for cake and coffee.”
“I guess I’ll have to do. There’s no way I can eat all this, but that bread smells delicious.”
Soon they were sitting down to dinner and wine.
“I didn’t know you could cook so well,” Lauren said. “When we worked together, occasionally you’d bring in food, but nothing like this.”
“Anyone can cook. It just takes a little getting used to your equipment.” She gestured toward the oven. “And reading the directions.”
“I never had time for that. I was too busy suturing someone’s cut.”
“Maybe it’s something else you and Jake can do together. From what you’ve told me, if he can drive a car, he can use a measuring cup.”
Lauren laughed. She had a mental picture of Jake with flour all over him. Then the picture changed to her cleaning the flour off of him.
“Have you told him yet who you are?”
Lauren shook her head. “I know I should. He’s asked me to stay until his brother gets back. I don’t know when that is, but it has to be later than when the school year would begin. He knows I don’t have a job I’m going to, so I can stay as long as I choose.”
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