The crowd applauded, Griffin stepping away from the mic. Lorraine hesitated, glancing down at Ashe. The boy looked up and edged her forward, his little chin jutting toward the mic. Lorraine took a deep breath, her skin tingling, her palms sweating as she approached the mic stand and looked out over the crowd. Lorraine had looked away from the crowd, and it only occurred to her then that she’d lost track of Carmen, Donal, and Mrs. B., who’d all been slinking suspiciously toward the stage.
“I-I don’t know much about public speaking,” Lorraine said, her voice big and metallic coming out of those massive speakers. “I’m a librarian, so I generally do more shushing than speaking.” The crowd chuckled, and so did Griffin and Ashe. She went on, “But I know how proud you’ve all made me today, how glad I am to be with you here, and to know that the industry I worked for—the great pubic library system—will endure. The fact that I had anything at all to do with it will never fail to amaze me.”
Lorraine’s scanning eyes found Carmen causing a slight commotion in the crowd as she tried to get right up to the front row. Already there, Mrs. B. stood, her hands in the pockets of her big coat, ruby broach sparkling on her lapel. Her eyes were fixed on Lorraine, but that twinkle had been replaced with a murderous glisten.
Lorraine said, “I should thank my parents, who’ve been so loving,” Lorraine said. “I never would have taken any risk without their example. I never would have had the strength to face my own fears. My best friend, Jeremy, too, what a sweet and good man he is. He taught me to believe in myself. He was nudging me to jump out of the nest, to take wing and fly, and I’ll always love him for that.”
Lorraine heard Jeremy’s whooping voice and turned to see him in the back of the crowd, holding a sign reading, We love you, Lo’!
Carmen finally arrived at the foot of the stage. Like Carmen, Mrs. B. stood with her attention fixed on Lorraine. And while Lorraine tried to ignore them, she just couldn’t for any longer than a few seconds at a time.
Stop it, Lorraine, she urged herself, don’t get distracted with all that now, your imagination spinning you around. If anything, it’s that awful Tony Gardner who’s the real danger, but Griffin’s right; he won’t show up here. And what’s an old lady gonna do, reveal dynamite strapped to her belly and blow us all up? Keep your head in the game, Lorraine! This is your moment, don’t blow it!
She forced a smile and looked out over the crowd. “I guess if there’s anything to be learned from my experience, it’s that every accomplishment, great or small, is just part of a chain of events. We all rely on one another; we all help ourselves by helping each other. There is some risk to that, of course, professional risk…” Lorraine glanced at Albert, who looked away and cleared his throat. “Personal risk,” she added, glancing at Ashe. “But the rewards are worth it, no matter how great that chance is. It’s okay to be afraid, but we have to act despite our fear; that’s what real courage is. And I’m surrounded by examples of such courage. Our performers, entertainers, all of you, the library staff; this wasn’t easy. But it means you care, and that…that means everything in the world.”
The crowd clapped, Griffin smiling at Lorraine with increasing love and admiration.
“But I have to add one thing,” Lorraine said, “one thing that’s completely selfish of me, and maybe just a little bit childish, I dunno, but…the library wasn’t the only thing that was saved in all this. I-I’ve found the man of my dreams, the love of my life, and that’s something I’d given up on finding. I’ve found a family, a son…” Lorraine turned to Ashe, who threw himself into her, wrapping his arms around her, burying his face in her arm. “And I just want to express my gratitude, my…my happiness. I didn’t think I’d ever have that, but now I know I’ll never be without it, not for as long as I live.”
Lorraine caught sight of Carmen in the audience and noticed that her line of sight was shifting between Albert and Griffin, both on her left.
Her sinister side.
Griffin seemed to notice it too. Even Ashe was looking at his father, at Lorraine, his eyes off the crowd. But Ashe was the first one to see that handgun flash, pulled out in a single swift motion, raised up and pointing straight at the end of a rigid and determined arm.
Ashe screamed, his voice tearing out of his young throat, clenched and tender from years of silence. It sent a bolt of terror through Lorraine’s body, her senses suddenly on high alert.
But it was too late.
Chapter 17
It happened in a blur, but in the scramble of Lorraine’s mind, every tiny step unfolded with terrible clarity, every sense functioning as if for the first time, and the last.
“She’s mine,” Donal screamed out, gun quivering in his hand as the shots rang out. Bam! Bam!
“No!” Lorraine shouted, pushing Ashe back behind her and running toward Donal, already firing.
Donal screeched, “You son of a bitch bastard! You think you can humiliate me?”
Lorraine flung herself in front of Griffin, a patch of dark glisten already spreading across his shoulder.
“You think you can make me look bad, you pompous ass? I’ll fucking kill you!”
Bam, bam, bam!
The first shot to hit Lorraine found her in the stomach, sending her cramping forward, hot agony bursting through her. The second hit her own shoulder, pushing her snapping back and into Griffin’s arms.
“She should have been mine, you money—!”
Griffin lowered Lorraine to the stage, and she could see the crowd surround Donal, converging, pinning him down, his high-pitched wail cutting through their clamor. “Lemme go, lemme go!”
Around him, the crowd was screaming and running in various directions, a tide of fear pouring one way and then the other, confusion smashing one citizen into another. Children cried out as their parents searched for them, and old people fell under the stampeding selfishness of that hapless mass of humanity.
Carmen ran onto the stage, throwing herself into Albert’s arms. She clung to him, and Albert held her too. They looked down at Lorraine, Griffin, and Ashe, horror and sorrow and guilt on their faces.
Lorraine and the others had room to breathe, even if it was their last. Lorraine’s body trembled, her hands reaching out to find Griffin’s bloodied jacket, a gunshot in his shoulder. “Y-y-y-you’re hurt.”
He offered a calm smile. “I’m fine.”
“Ashe? Ashe!”
“I’m okay,” the boy rasped out, words clumsy and choked out, uncomfortable if not unnatural. “You saved me; you saved us both!”
Lorraine’s body jutted, her blood spreading fast across her dress. A cold shiver passed through her, followed by another quick hot flash. Lorraine knew her body was shutting down, organs systematically failing, letting her go. Lorraine coughed, blood rising up from her stomach and filling her throat. She fought to choke it back for Ashe’s sake, but she knew it wouldn’t be long before she drowned in her own blood. She swallowed hard.
“Relax,” Griffin said, “help is coming. You’re gonna be okay.”
But waves of certainty passed through Lorraine’s body, sweat pouring down the sides of her face. “No,” Lorraine muttered, “no…”
Carmen buried her face in Albert’s beefy shoulder. “Oh, Al…”
“Shshshsh,” Albert said, a comforting hand on the back of her head.
Jeremy ran up onto the stage, peering over Lorraine near her feet but pausing, no room to fall upon her and sob as he was clearly ready to do.
Tears pushed out of Griffin’s face, but he struggled to keep that smile on his face. “Don’t you give up, Lorraine.”
“I-I…can’t…”
“Yes you can, Lorraine, yes you will!” Sirens were soft in the distance but got louder fast. “I won’t let that happen, Lorraine! I won’t be helpless again, and I won’t lose you! We won’t lose you!”
Lorraine turned to see Ashe kneeling on her other side, sobbing. She struggled to say, “I’m sorry, Ashe, I-I’m so sorry…”
&nbs
p; Ashe screamed out again. “No! Please don’t! Please don’t die, Lorraine!”
Lorraine could feel her strength draining, her heart already slowing in her chest, the burning pain slipping away as her hands and feet became numb. She tried to say goodbye to them, but she just couldn’t muster the strength.
“No, no,” Ashe screamed, sensing that Lorraine was slipping away. “Don’t leave us! You can’t leave us now! Please? Please!”
Ashe broke out in a gut-wrenching howl, tears pouring down his cheeks.
I don’t wanna die like this, Lorraine’s inner voice cried out as if to rally her body in one final fruitless push. I don’t wanna die now, not when I’m so close, now that I have something to live for, everything to live for. I won’t do it, I won’t die! I won’t, I-I…
Those sirens got louder even as Ashe and the clamor around them became more dim, faint, of no further to use to Lorraine. Camera crews loomed in, reporters jabbering at hyper-speed in grim tones.
Jeremy shooed them away, whining, “What’s the matter with you, you parasites, you monsters? Get outta here; get away now!”
But the chaos receded in Lorraine’s senses, everything becoming quieter, dimmer.
Dying.
Ashe was sobbing into his father’s shoulder, the two of them huddled by Lorraine, cradling her.
It’s okay, Lorraine wanted to say to Ashe, You’ll be fine. You’ll find happiness, just like I did. And for you, it’ll last, I know it will. But you have to let it in, Ashe; you have to take that risk. It’s worth it, Ashe, so worth it. You don’t have to be sad for me, don’t cry for me, it’s okay, it’s all going…going to…
Lorraine’s fingers slipped away from Ashe’s as her head fell into Griffin’s lap.
No regrets, Griffin, I love you so much…
The sirens finally overtook the boy’s cries, the bustle around Lorraine fading behind a cloak of darkness—no sight and no sound, her heart finally slipping into its few final beats.
Epilogue
TWO YEARS LATER
Lorraine strained to open her eyes, that warm, familiar voice leaking back into her consciousness. But she was slow to recognize her own name, or even his hands wrapped around hers.
“Lorraine? Lorraine.”
Her eyes finally opened, a flutter over blurred vision, mouth dry as she strained to focus on that handsome face hovering just above her and to the side.
“Griffin,” she barely said, her eyesight becoming sharper, his smile finally becoming clearer.
“How’re you doin’?”
“I-I’m not sure.” Lorraine read her body: pain and stiffness everywhere, limbs exhausted, everything functioning at half capacity, if that. “It hurts.”
“That’s natural. It’s only been a few days.”
“I suppose. Still, those gunshot wounds still ache!” Bolts of pain shot into her body from her healed shoulder and especially the belly. “It’s been two years.”
Griffin shrugged. “Doctor said it won’t last.”
Lorraine looked over at Ashe, sitting in a chair in the corner of the hospital room with the infant Kayla in his lap, the baby wrapped in a plush blanket. “How do you like her, Ashe?”
Ashe broke a wide smile, his growing maturity increasingly evident on his face. “She’s great, amazing. I can’t believe I have a little sister!”
Griffin chuckled and looked back at Lorraine. “Neither can I. And I couldn’t be happier.”
Lorraine asked, “What about my folks?”
“Still in the waiting room.”
“Still? Three days straight?”
“I booked the presidential suite at the Ritz; I still can’t get ‘em out of the waiting room. They won’t stop talking about you,” Griffin said.
“My mom too?”
“Your mother especially. She’s positively glowing.”
Lorraine leaned back, unable to resist a feeling she could barely recognize, one she knew she’d been searching for her whole life. She felt whole; she felt complete.
Loved.
“Where’s Jeremy?”
Griffin shrugged. “Somebody had to enjoy all those hotel amenities. I mean, it’s the Ritz.” They shared a chuckle. “Anyway, I think he deserved a few days off.”
“He’s good with Ashe. Thanks for giving him a chance.”
“Thanks for the referral. I know you recall how my…our last nanny worked out.”
Lorraine glanced over at a large bouquet of flowers with a big pink ribbon. “Beautiful, thank you.”
“From Al and Carmen Jenkins, actually. They wish they could have been here, but he’s got that election coming up; he’s campaigning pretty hard.”
“I’m glad they wound up together after all,” Lorraine said.
Griffin turned to Ashe. “Bring your sister over here, Ashe.” The boy responded quickly, obediently, as he always had and always would. Griffin took the infant from him and set her in Lorraine’s arms. She looked down at the little cooing creature—squinting and reaching, flinching and wriggling.
“Hi, Kayla, hi,” Lorraine said, “it’s Mommy, Kayla, it’s Mommy.”
“Are you sure about the name?” Griffin asked hesitantly.
“Sure,” Lorraine said, “of course. She was Ashe’s mother, Griffin; it’s a family name.”
Ashe said, “It’s such a cool name, Kayla.” After a little pause he smiled and added, “But I think Lorraine is a pretty cool name too.”
Lorraine’s tears couldn’t resist racing down her reddened cheeks, past her cramping smile. “It sounds great when you say it, Ashe.”
Griffin smiled even wider, his eyes tearing up. “I really do love you so much.” He leaned over and kissed her, a gentle touch of his lips against hers the beginning of a beautiful chapter in the story of their lives together.
THE END
PART 2
Chapter 1
Bam bam bam! The gun kicked back hard in Lorraine Phoenix’s hand, her arm rigid, one eye squinting. Bam bam!
It was as if that terrible day in Denver had never ended, even three years later. The screaming crowd running for their lives, cops closing in from every angle, Lorraine felt as if she was reliving it all in excruciating detail.
She was braced with nervous anticipation, muscles clenched with terrible expectation of those hot lead bullets digging into her skin, tearing through her organs. A terrible man’s last, best hope for some twisted kind of happiness.
But, so far she’d managed to survive, as she had before, even if it had been touch and go, her grip on life fast slipping away. But, the paramedics had been quick, just a few seconds ahead of their grim adversary.
Lorraine had to wonder, Will I be as lucky this time?
The visions had haunted her during sleep and while awake, inspiring lessons in how to shoot and hours of practice. Lorraine’s senses were swimming, her mind’s eye blurred with fleeing pedestrians, armed assassins, friends and loved ones in the direct line of fire, police sirens leaking in from the distance.
And she wasn’t the only one who came armed and ready. Bam bam bam bam! A man, not three feet to her left, pumped a series of shots in a tight cluster, the shots echoing amid the others.
Even Ashe was compelled to join the fray. Lorraine couldn’t see him, as she couldn’t afford to take her eyes off her hideous target, which was still upright and staring straight at her. But she could feel her stepson there, she could hear his gunshots amid the others, the .22-calibre shots just a bit softer than the .36 in her own hands.
Bam bam bam!
I hope he’s okay, Lorraine silently said to herself, but one glance back gave her every reason to be confident, secure, at least for the moment.
Griffin’s here, she knew, and that meant everything. His steely blue eyes were fixed on the subjects of his family’s shots, observing the sureness of their aim, silently assessing.
Bam bam click click click.
She was out of bullets.
Bam click click click.
Ashe stepped back, raising his own handgun to point harmlessly upward.
Lorraine and Ashe both reached for the electric switch which pulled their paper silhouette targets across the shooting range back to their booths. She didn’t remove her earphones but she did pull up her goggles to get a better look at the target.
Her shots were not well clustered, only a few hit the silhouette, one in the head and two in the chest.
She gave Griffin a look and a shrug, which said to him, Wouldn’t three be enough?
Griffin answered with a sad shake of his head. Ashe stepped around from the other side of the partition with his own target, which he offered to Griffin, who shared it with Lorraine. A tight cluster of shots, all grouped around the heart, was a perfect example of effective fire.
Griffin smiled and wrapped his arm around his son’s shoulder for a squeeze and a tap. Ashe could only shrug at Lorraine with a look that said, Maybe I was just lucky?
Lorraine couldn’t withhold an amused huff as Griffin fit two fresh silhouettes into the metal clips, she and Ashe reloaded for another round.
The chargrilled burger at the Spotted Pig was one of Lorraine’s favorite things, and it had become Ashe’s favorite place to go. The burger’s bun was crossed with grill marks, bleu cheese dripping over the side to add a tangy, exotic flavor to the rich, juicy beef.
Lorraine washed it down with a tangy, delicious lemonade, just sweet enough to be brisk and refreshing.
“Ashe,” she said, “you really can shoot. Are you sure you boys haven’t been doing this all your lives?”
Ashe shook his head, his blond hair and blue eyes and increasingly mature face made him look like a twelve-year-old version of his father. “Luckily, we haven’t had to.”
Griffin’s smile was replaced with an authoritarian air. “Ashe, are you being rude?”
“No, Dad, no,” Ashe said, his voice looping and innocent. “I just mean, we’re only doing it now. That’s the truth.” He turned to Lorraine. “I didn’t mean that, y’know, it was your fault or anything, nothing like that!”
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