“I would have killed her.” How did he not kill her? She got off light if all he did was kidnap her to make sure she wasn’t going to do something so stupid again. “So, is Olivia-”
“My niece,” he says and I nod. That makes sense.
It feels like my turn. “I never cheated on Zac. He was just always sure I was going to.” The words ache in my throat as I correct myself, “Except the kisses with you, I mean.”
Connor’s eyes light with heat and I feel my heart begin to pound in my chest.
I want to kiss him again. Like we’re drawn together by ropes ever tightening around us and slowly pulling us together, we move toward one another.
His eyes are locked on my lips and I can’t think of anything I’d rather have. It feels good to air the uglier things in life with someone and still feel a connection with them. There’s something about him that seems so real, and yes, he’s terrifying. He still kidnapped that woman. He is a monster.
But I find it hard to fault him given all the available information.
The waitress walks up and I pull back, feeling awkward as she places our food before us. It smells amazing, though, and I hear my stomach rumble. I don’t think I’ve eaten anything today. Everything just kind of went crazy and I missed some important life needs.
Once we’re alone again, I realize what’s been nagging in the back of my skull for the better part of the day. “Wait, is your brother Kieran Knight?”
Connor’s whole body goes still, but his eyes lock on me like I’m brandishing a dangerous weapon.
But I push on. “I remember hearing something on Facebook. He took his kid and ran or something like that.”
I realize I know him. “I’m Jane Snow.” I remember the knights. The boys were nobodies form nothing who all of a sudden took the city by storm. Kieran owns half the city. He’s got real estate everywhere. Kyle went smaller and became a vet – the best and I think only one in town. And Connor, the one who managed to become wealthy even though no one seems to know how.
“So what do you do?” I ask, my curiosity getting the better of me.
He doesn’t seem too excited to talk about himself so personally. “You heard right. He took Olivia and ran with her. He wanted to start over because Cami was so strung out.”
“You know,” I say, taking a bite of a fry, “I’m lucky. I never really had family drama. Not really. I mean, dad’s overbearing sometimes, but they love me.”
Connor cuts a bite of steak as he answers me. “I envy you that.” The clipped answer tells me that there’s more to it than he’s giving me.
“Honestly,” I say, hoping he’ll just tell me whatever he’d like but doesn’t feel pressured to share, “Zac is my worst drama to date. He’s just all kinds of crazy. The whole tracking my phone thing, the jealousy, the need to try to control and manipulate me, it drives me nuts.”
Then again, that’s what Connor has been doing. He pretty much kidnapped me, he tried to use fear to make me do what he wanted, and that isn’t negated by the fact that I wanted to come. He was doing what he knew to be despicable and he continued.
But if I was worried someone would kill someone I love, wouldn’t I do the same? And for me, I’m sure he was certain I’d call the cops on him or something that might ruin his whole life. And I need to put his fear to rest.
“As far as I’m concerned, it was a weird sex thing and none of my business,” I say softly and he looks at me while chewing. That’s all I’m going to say about it, though. I’m not going to try to force feed him that I’m not going to call the cops.
“ I’m enjoying myself. Thank you for the date,” I say, wanting to make sure he’s aware, though not wanting to spell it out.
“It’s my pleasure,” he growls, and I close my eyes.
“You know,” I say, hoping he’ll talk again, “Your voice was pretty much the whole reason I was listening at the wall. It’s… so incredible,” I say, unable to actually quantify what it is about his voice that turns me on so.
When I open my eyes again, he’s studying me.
I decide to change the subject. “So, how is she not in jail if she nearly killed Olivia?” I ask, curious.
The pain in Connor’s eyes is clear as he responds. “The court decided to get her into some rehab programs and give her community service instead of jail. They thought she needed help, not jail.”
“That’s some shit,” I say, feeling myself getting unreasonably angry. I know this isn’t my battle, it isn’t my life or my family, but such a miscarriage of justice is hard to swallow, especially when a child’s life was nearly destroyed because of it.
“Is she okay now?” I ask, hoping he doesn’t get upset at my prying.
“She made a full recovery. That’s nothing to the emotional scars, but physically, she’s good.” He dunks a fry in the house made fry sauce and I follow suit. The food is delicious, it tastes like homemade fries, the steak is perfectly seasoned and cooked, and the mushrooms are so firm I’m sure they spent minimal time in the pan.
“Well, that’s a consolation,” I mutter, still seething internally. How could a court let a woman go after almost killing her child? “You know, if the dad had done that he’d be jailed for the rest of his damn life,” I say, hating the double standard. The world treats fathers like they’re second class citizens. But mothers? The whole world seems to treat them like they can do no wrong.
Maybe I’ll get it someday. Maybe if I become a mom, I’ll understand why it’s so important to people to keep mothers and children together while still feeling like they can toss a father away and see no harm.
It still seems like a load of crap.
Connor reaches out and his hand covers mine. The warmth of it helps ease some of the fury pounding in my blood. I stare at his hand, seeing how huge it looks over mine and my heart begins to thunder for another reason. One that has nothing to do with anger at a broken system.
Chapter 20
Connor
It feels right to be comforting her. I see the anger in her eyes and know the feeling well. I’ve raged against the unfairness of it for longer than I care to admit. And while I find comfort that she feels the same way, I feel bad that she’s now facing the frustration I’ve felt. I wouldn’t wish it on an enemy, much less someone who’s pretty fucking amazing.
Because she is.
As she stares at my hand on hers, I see the excitement in her expression taking over and shoving the anger right out the way. When her gaze meets mine, I feel that same crash of desperation and need I felt before from her.
It’s sexy as hell.
I pull back, needing to get ahold of myself.
“They were both wrong,” Jane says, her voice so low and gentle I almost miss the words.
I take a bite of steak, waiting for her to elaborate.
“They should have worked it out,” she says, picking up a fry and studying it like it’s harboring the plague. She seems to be enjoying her food; she’s eaten half the steak and a huge chunk of the fries. I love that she has an appetite. Her eyes tick to me as she continues speaking. “Both adults should have worked it out. He shouldn’t have ran; he should have forced her to get help to get clean and sober.”
I stare at her in shock. It’s like I’m having a conversation with a much more attractive – and female – version of myself.
“That’s what I told them,” I say, “that Olivia was the most important thing, not their stupid addictions or petty issues. That little girl needed both parents. She needed them to work together and be the fucking adults in that situation.”
Her smile lights up her face. “So, how long are you going to be here, Connor?” She asks while taking another bite of her salad. She’s taken to dipping bites of steak in the blue cheese dressing and I can’t help but love it. She gives zero fucks about what everyone else might think; she’s fucking enjoying herself.
“Until I decide to leave,” I say and her whole body stills except her eyes, which study me closely. “I thi
nk I’ll stay the rest of the week,” I say, wanting to make sure she knows I’m not just blowing her off.
“Me, too,” She says, her whole body moving as she shifts in her seat and smiles up at the waitress who pops by to refill our drinks and asks me how the food is. “It was great!” She tells the woman, who continues to ignore her.
“The food was amazing,” I tell her, noticing how her eyes light up. “However, your continued rude attitude to my date leaves me feeling like I need to speak with your boss about how you treat customers.” I lift my glass to my lips, refusing to even look at her.
My chilly dismissal seems to leave her stunned and confused. It dawns on me that perhaps guys enjoy being the only one she sees. Perhaps she knew Jane wasn’t the kind to stand up for herself. Or maybe she just doesn’t give a fuck.
Whatever the reason, it seems to change. She turns to Jane with a soft, “I’m sorry,” and a smile that’s pretty, yet not genuine.
“Me, too,” Jane says, her genuine voice a relief as she speaks. “I didn’t take into account that maybe you’ve had a bad day. I hope that everything is going well for you.”
Jane looks at me and says, “What? Everyone has bad days. We don’t know that she isn’t having a bad day.”
The waitress escapes and I see tears in her eyes. Startled, I glance at Jane, who lifts her shoulders a fraction of an inch. “When Zac cheated on me, I hated all women. I wanted to hit on all guys to feel better. I wanted to know I was still attractive.”
“He cheated on you?” Holy hell; how was she still with him?
She nods like it’s something everyone knows. “It sounds stupid, I know, but I feel that daddy’s going to be disappointed in me; he likes him.”
“I doubt it.” A good father would support his daughter regardless of his own feelings. And I bet that’s what happened here. But Jane shrugs again, clearly not agreeing with me.
“I think he wants you to be happy,” I say, imagining how Kieran feels about Olivia, how I feel about my niece. Even if I hated her boyfriend – thank fucking god she’s too young for that shit – I’d want her to be happy.
“Maybe,” Jane says, still not sounding sold. She nibbles through her salad and I study her. “I don’t normally eat-” she looks up at me the words cutting short. “What?” she asks, sounding out of breath. Her eyes are wide and worried, as if she’s nervous what I’m thinking.
“I’m enjoying myself,” I tell her, feeling a bit of surprise. Generally, people annoy me. There’s a reason I have a policy of love ‘em and leave ‘em. Typically, if someone near me talks for more than two minutes, I want to wring their necks.
People are generally stupid, rude, or shallow. Jane is none of that. Sure, she’s far from perfect, but her ability to talk and stay civil even when things seem ugly is something I admire.
“Me, too,” She says, her smile lighting up her face. Then, as if she remembers the pretense we’re here under, her expression seems to dim a bit. She lowers her head and looks at her plate, shifting a fry that got surrounded and drowned in steak blood.
It’s heartbreaking to see her remember that she’s not here on a date. That I forced this against her will. That we can never come back from where we stared. It’s heartbreaking to experience. Even if I fell in love with this girl, I could never be part of her life. I fucking kidnapped her, forced her to talk about the other girl I’d kidnapped. There’s no coming back from that. There’s no trust that can be built to withstands the fear that I may betray her at some point in the future.
It’s all a god damned shame.
Chapter 21
Jane
“So, how long are you going to be here, Connor?” I ask, popping a bit of blue cheese in my mouth. I love the bite of it, the tang it adds to the flavor of the steak and fries. I wonder why blue cheese fries isn’t a thing. Or is it? I want some, now.
Well, maybe not now. I’m nearly full.
“Until I decide to leave,” Connor says, his tone so sharp, I feel my whole body respond. Wondering why he’s so short tempered all of a sudden, I study him.
His tone is a bit softer when he speaks again. “I think I’ll stay the rest of the week,” he says, and I wonder why he’s choosing to stay if he could leave any time. It’s not like this place it the hot vacation spot. The hotel sucks, obviously, and there’s not much around to do unless you’re looking to go play on the beach with everyone else who came here for the beach.
No, thanks. Too, many bodies for me. I’ll stay in, watch TV or my Netflix, and pretend the world outside doesn’t exist for a while.
“Me, too,” I say as the waitress stops by. I give her my brightest smile as she refills my sprite and Connor’s water.
“How as the food?” she asks Connor in a seductive tone and I try to bite back my frustration.
“It was great!” I tell her, realizing that maybe me being kind to her is what she needs. Maybe something has been going on in her life and she needs affirmation that not all women are backstabbing bitches. She continues to ignore me, but I’m fine with it. I don’t know what the fuck is going on in her life, and I’ve no right to judge.
“The food was amazing,” Connor says, his tone all honey and fire. Everything about him sets my body alight, and I really want to kiss him again. Thoughts of how sexy he’d been back at my place, his lips on mine, his whole body blocking me in the corner behind my door…
How I manage not to moan is a mystery to me. I feel I’ve earned a medal for it.
Connor isn’t done yet. “However, your continued rude attitude to my date leaves me feeling like I need to speak with your boss about how you treat customers.” His gaze moves past her toward some point behind me and he takes a sip of his water. The indication that the conversation is over isn’t subtle. I stare at him, wondering why the hell he’d stand up for me like that. Zac would have been flirting with her and maybe even getting her number on the down low while I was in the restroom or something.
This guy who kidnapped me has more regard to how I should be treated than the guy I’ve been dating for more than year. What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The waitress turns to me with the fakest smile I’ve ever seen. “I’m sorry,” she says, but I’m not going to stoop to the level of cat clawing and hissing that often comes with this kind of bullshit.
“Me, too,” I say, genuinely sorry for whatever is making her act this way. I’m sure she has a reason. Just because I don’t know what it is doesn’t make it lass valid. “I didn’t take into account that maybe you’ve had a bad day. I hope that everything is going well for you.”
Connor stares at me, his eyebrows furrowing a bit, as if he’s trying to figure me out.
“What?” I ask, “Everyone has bad days. We don’t know that she isn’t having a bad day.”
The waitress leaves quickly and I see Connor’s surprise as he looks into her face and back at me again. And I feel the need to explain myself.
“When Zac cheated on me, I hated all women. I wanted to hit on all guys to feel better. I wanted to know I was still attractive.” Even now, the memory hurts. I’d trusted him, I’d gone to bat for him against friends that I don’t have anymore. He’d betrayed me deeper than anyone ever has before. I’d lost friendships over it. I’d lost a hell of a lot of myself, too.
“He cheated on you?” Connor’s looking at me like he hardly believes anyone would want to sleep with Zac, period. Which is kind of amusing.
But he doesn’t understand all of the issues I’m going to be facing. “It sounds stupid, I know, but I feel that daddy’s going to be disappointed in me; he likes him.” Once he finds out I dumped Zac, there will be hell to pay. I’m sure there already is, actually. I just don’t know it yet because my phone is back at the hotel room.
God, I hope dad doesn’t drop everything and come out here because Zac tells him I’m cheating. How humiliating.
“I doubt it.” Connor says, but he doesn’t know my dad. “I think he wants you to be happy,” He says.<
br />
But there’s more to it than that.
“Maybe,” I say, not feeling like it’s possible. I mean, I’m sure he wants me happy, as long as my happiness fits into his narrow view of things that should make me happy. Which generally don’t line up with things that actually make me happy.
I take a bite of salad and comment on it, “I don’t normally eat-” I look up and he’s staring at me like he’d like nothing more than to spread me out on this table and eat me instead of the rest of his dinner. “What?” I ask, feeling lightheaded with all the excitement swirling through my body at the thought of his lips on the most sensitive flesh I have.
“I’m enjoying myself,” He says, his tone serious. The words make me happier than they really should. It’s such a simple compliment, but coming from those lips in that voice, it feels like an honor of the highest sort.
“Me, too,” I say, smiling like an idiot. I bet he’s thinking about what an idiot I am right now. But that’s okay, because I am an idiot. Not just because I’m grinning like a fool, but also because we’re not here on a date. I’m not here because I even want to be. Not really. I’m here because he’s protecting himself and making sure I’m not a threat.
It doesn’t matter how much I’m enjoying myself, this man would never even seriously consider a girl like me. After meeting Zac, he likely thinks I’m too stupid to live, much less date. I stare at my plate, hating myself and the mess my life has become as I mess with a soggy rogue fry.
It’s not fair. I like Connor. I mean, really like him. The deep conversations we’ve had shows a side of the man that not only makes him more attractive, but more frightening. He’s willing to do evil things for the people he loves. More than I think most people would. And while that’s scary, it’s also kind of nice.
Especially since I feel like my dad would do anything for Zac. When he hears about what’s going on, I bet he blows a gasket at me.
As if we’re deciding together, we both rise from our seats.
Capture Me Page 74
