‘Oh, I just guessed.’ Fuzz edged away from him. ‘Got to go now,’ he said quickly. ‘My Pa is waiting.’
And then, he ran.
Pa was sitting at the table—just finishing a big plate of sushi—when Fuzz burst in.
‘Pa! Did you steal that sushi?’
‘Me? Of course not,’ said Pa. ‘How could you think such a thing?’
‘Pa! Did you pinch the sushi?’
‘No!’
‘Pa! Did you steal that poor steward’s sushi?’ Fuzz demanded.
‘Well, sort of,’ said Pa. ‘Just a little bit.’
‘What do you mean “sort of”?’ shouted Fuzz.
‘All right! I stole it,’ muttered Pa. ‘But it’s not really stealing,’ he sniffed. ‘Not when all the food is free on the
ship. I just, er, reallocated it a bit.’
‘So you got the sushi, and the person who ordered it didn’t.’
‘Exactly,’ said Pa. ‘But they can always order more sushi,’ he added. ‘I can’t, or else the steward might see me.’
‘But the steward did see you. The poor man thinks he’s going crazy,’ said Fuzz. ‘He thinks he’s imagining polar bears. Or that I’ve played a trick on him,’ he added. He wasn’t sure which was worse.
‘Er, sorry about that,’ said Pa guiltily. ‘But I was really hungry.’
‘Then go to the dining room or order room service like a normal person!’ cried Fuzz.
‘I can’t,’ said Pa reasonably. ‘I promised you I wouldn’t leave the cabin in my polar bear suit.’
‘But…’ began Fuzz, then stopped. What was the point? Trying to get Pa to see reason was like trying to juggle ice cream.
‘Is that more sushi in the napkin?’ asked Pa hopefully. ‘I just feel like some nice raw fish for dessert!’
‘Pa, why not just try something different? Like a nice cheese sandwich…or spaghetti…or…’ began Fuzz.
Tinkle…tinkle…jingle…
‘Pa, can you hear something?’ he asked suddenly.
Pa shook his head. ‘Only you going on about spaghetti. I like sushi.’
‘Listen!’ interrupted Fuzz.
Pa listened.
Tinkle…tinkle…jingle…
‘Bells,’ whispered Fuzz.
Pa nodded. ‘Must be a band rehearsing.’
‘There isn’t any band on the ship.’
‘Or someone is playing “Jingle Bells” on their CD player.’
‘Maybe,’ said Fuzz doubtfully. ‘But it doesn’t sound like a CD player.’
Tinkle…tinkle…jingle…
The sound grew louder, then louder still. Suddenly the ship lurched. Fuzz grabbed the side of the table as it began to slide down the cabin. What was happening?
The ship was moving. Not gently up and down as it had before. This was really moving!
Someone screamed outside. ‘Help! We’re sinking!’
‘No, we’re not!’ shouted someone else. ‘We’re flying! Help! Help! The ship is flying!’
The sound of bells grew louder still. Perhaps this was some kind of alarm bell, thought Fuzz. But it was the strangest alarm he’d ever heard! The ship lurched even further upwards.
Fuzz stared at Pa. Ships didn’t fly! Did they? It was impossible!
But it was happening!
CHAPTER 5
The Flying Ship
First of all there was the ‘my tummy has dropped down to my socks’ feel that he got when a lift began to rise. Then the furniture began to move as well, sliding down, down, down to the lower edge of the room.
Fuzz held on hard to the table, to stop himself sliding too. But it was no use! The table started to slide as well! ‘Pa! What is it? What’s happening?’
‘I don’t know! There isn’t anything about flying in the cruise ship brochure!’
The table was sliding fast now, down to join the tangle of chairs already crashed at the end of the room. ‘Pa!’ screamed Fuzz, as he felt himself slide faster and faster down the floor.
‘Don’t worry, boy! I’ll save you!’ Pa lifted Fuzz in one furry arm, then jumped up onto the bed. It was already jammed against the downhill wall, so it couldn’t slide any further. Fuzz could hear shrieks coming from the other cabins, and yells from up in the dining rooms.
‘M…maybe it’s a giant wave!’ cried Fuzz. At least the furniture had stopped sliding now. But the ship still felt as if it was zooming upwards.
‘No wave is this big,’ said Pa grimly, still holding him tight.
‘Maybe it’s a tsunami!’ Fuzz gulped. Was the ship about to crash down, with water tumbling all about them? Down, down, down, to the bottom of the sea?
‘Tsunamis don’t go tinkle, jingle,’ Pa reassured him, still holding him in a firm bear hug.
Fuzz strained to listen. Pa was right. He could still hear bells. Strange jingly bells, coming from high up above the ship. They weren’t an alarm, he realised. The bells were part of whatever was happening.
The ship flew upwards. Up…up…up…
Why did these things have to happen to him, thought Fuzz, wildly hoping his breakfast wasn’t going to fly up, up, up, too, and out of his mouth. Why couldn’t he have a normal cruise like everybody else? And a nice normal family! No flying ships! No polar bear grandfathers and monkey brothers and rhinoceros mothers…
He could hear furniture tipping and tumbling and people screaming in the other cabins too.
‘Help!’
‘Save me! Save me!’
‘Oof! I’m under the sofa! Someone pull it off!’
‘Aagh! I’ve landed in the toilet. Someone pull me out!’
‘Mummy, I’m going to be sick!’
‘Help!’
But how could he help anyone, thought Fuzz desperately, with the ship zooming up like this.
Tinkle…tinkle…jingle…
Maybe…maybe the ship had turned into a rocket! They were heading for the stars. Goodbye earth. Goodbye Mum and Dad…
Suddenly he realised that the ship was slowing down. It was still heading up into the clouds. But at least it wasn’t going as fast now.
Maybe they weren’t going to outer space at all…
Tinkle…tinkle…jingle…
Blarrrp! It was the ship’s siren. A voice from the loudspeakers echoed down the corridors. ‘Er, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.’
Fuzz breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness! The captain would know what was happening! He’d tell them what to do!
‘There is, er, nothing to worry about. A slight, er, detour from our course but I am sure it will be all back to normal in…Heelllpp…’
‘That’s a lot of use,’ muttered Pa, still holding onto Fuzz to stop him sliding away.
Tinkle…tinkle…jingle…
Suddenly the ship straightened. For a moment everything seemed all right…if you didn’t mind a ship flying through the sky instead of bouncing through the waves, thought Fuzz, staring out the porthole at the passing clouds.
‘Quack?’ A startled duck stared back at him. Then it was gone as the ship flew quickly past it.
Faster…faster…faster…the world outside turned dark and blurry, as though the ship was zapping along too quickly to even see the sky. How fast were they flying, wondered Fuzz. Faster surely than any plane! His ears were buzzing and his heart going bump, bump, bump. Only Pa’s furry white arms seemed real.
Tinkle…tinkle…jingle…
Suddenly the ship began to dive…
Down…down…down…
The screaming coming from the other passengers became even louder now. Fuzz held on tightly to Pa—he wasn’t quite sure who was reassuring whom here—but Pa’s thick woolly coat felt comforting! With the ship pointing downwards now, the furniture began to slide again, back the other way. And of course the bed began to slide too, with them on it!
‘Hold on, boy!’ yelled Pa, as he gripped the bedhead with his free paw.
Tinkle…tinkle…jingle…
Splosh!!!!
! The ship landed—but not nearly as hard as Fuzz had expected. The furniture bounced up, then back again. Fuzz and Pa bounced too, landing in a heap of kid and polar bear fur. But at least the mattress was soft to land on, and so was Pa’s fur.
The sound of bells had vanished. Water splashed down upon the ship. It bounced wildly back and forth. Most of the shrieks had given way to groans of seasickness now. Fuzz wondered about some of the splashing sounds too…
Then slowly the great ship grew still.
‘D…do you think it’s over?’ Fuzz peered out the porthole. ‘Pa!’
‘What is it? What can you see?’ Pa leant over his shoulder and looked out too.
Ten minutes ago there had been blue sea and sky all around them. Now the world was white.
The sky was white. Even the sea had white icebergs in it. They floated like giant vanilla iceblocks all around the ship.
And just beyond the ship, Fuzz could see the shore, too. And it was white as well. But not white like milk, thought Fuzz wonderingly. This was more a bluish white, an almost glowing white.
‘Ice and snow,’ exclaimed Pa. ‘We must be up in the Arctic already.’
‘But we weren’t supposed to get here for three weeks!’ cried Fuzz.
‘I know,’ said Pa. Suddenly he grinned. ‘You know what this means, boy?’
‘Wh…what?’ asked Fuzz.
‘There’re polar bears out there! Let’s go!’
CHAPTER 6
Look at the Bears!
‘Pa! This is no time to be thinking about polar bears!’ cried Fuzz.
‘I’ve been waiting half my life for this, boy!’ shouted Pa happily.
‘But we can’t go out there. It might be dangerous! We don’t know where we are…or how we got here…’
What if the ship started flying again, he wondered. After what they had just been through, who knew what might happen?
‘Just a quick look!’ Pa assured him. He forced his way through the piled-up furniture and grabbed a bundle from the cupboard. ‘Come on! You’ve no idea how long I’ve been dreaming of this moment! Real polar bears!’
‘But, Pa…You can’t go out in your polar bear suit! What about your promise?’
Pa threw a chair to one side and then a table, excitedly clearing a path to the cabin door. He gave no sign he’d heard at all.
Fuzz gave up. Maybe no one would notice a stray polar bear in all the confusion. ‘Hold on!’ he cried, as Pa burst out the cabin door. ‘I’m coming too!’
The corridor was deserted. Everyone must still be up in the dining rooms, thought Fuzz as he raced after Pa, or cowering in their cabins.
Along the corridor, up the stairs to the next deck…
A steward was picking himself up off the floor in the corridor. It was the same man Fuzz had met earlier. ‘A polar bear!’ he yelled pointing at Pa. ‘I knew I’d seen a polar bear! Help! Help! A flying ship and a polar bear!’
‘It’s okay,’ panted Fuzz as they raced past him. ‘He’s just my Pa!’
‘Help, help!’ yelled the steward. ‘A flying ship and a polar bear and a mad kid! Help!’
Up the next flight of stairs and out the door…
The cold hit him, hard as a cricket ball. It was freezing up here!
‘Pa!’ he called, staring around. ‘Where are you?’
‘Over here,’ called Pa.
Fuzz ran over to the rail. ‘Pa, it’s freezing up here…’
Pa grinned. ‘Yes. Isn’t it great?’
‘But we’ll freeze to death.’
‘No, we won’t. Not dressed like this.’ Pa thrust
the bundle he’d taken from the wardrobe towards him. ‘Put this on.’
‘What is it?’
‘Your polar bear suit, of course. It’ll keep you as warm as a…as a polar bear! Hurry up,’ he said impatiently.
Fuzz hesitated. But his breath was coming out in little pants of steam. His fingers and toes hurt and all the snot in his nose was turning into tiny icicles. Fuzz thrust his feet into the suit’s legs then pulled it up over him and pressed the velcro edges together.
Warmth! Lovely snuggly cuddly warmth. Fuzz sighed in relief. He might look like a dork, but at least he was warm. And anyway, he’d only be wearing it for a few minutes…
Now, if he could just get Pa back downstairs to their cabin…Surely Pa could look for polar bears through the porthole instead of up here on the deck. All he had to do was remind Pa of his promise and get him to either return to his cabin or take his polar bear suit off…
Suddenly there was a yell behind them. ‘Look! It’s a polar bear!’
‘Where?’ cried Pa excitedly.
Fuzz turned as passengers spilled out of the dining room. Someone screamed, ‘Yes! I see it too! A polar bear! A polar bear!’
‘Um, Pa…’ began Fuzz.
‘Shh, boy, I’m busy.’
‘But Pa…’ The screaming was getting closer now.
‘Later, boy! This is it! My first polar bear. Where is it?’ Pa stared out over the rail at the snowy shore.
‘Polar bears! There are two of them,’ shrieked someone else.
‘Two bears!’ yelled Pa, peering even further over the rail. ‘Where are they? If you only knew how I’ve longed for this moment…’
‘Pa!’ cried Fuzz urgently.
‘It’s a polar bear invasion!’ shrieked the first voice. ‘Help!’
‘All officers to the deck at once!’ yelled the captain’s voice. ‘Attack by polar bears! Emergency! Emergency! Polar bear attack! All hands on deck!’
‘Pa, we really have to go down to our cabin…’ Fuzz grabbed Pa’s arm and tried to haul him away from the rail.
‘Not till I see the bears!’ yelled Pa.
‘Pa!’ screamed Fuzz.
But it was too late. A ring of men in uniform surrounded them.
CHAPTER 7
Trapped!
‘Nobody panic!’ announced the captain, shivering in his thin jacket with braid on the sleeves. A group of sailors stood next to him, holding a giant net…
‘Who’s panicking!’ cried Pa happily, still leaning over the rail. ‘Now where are those bears? Why can everyone else see them and not me? It’s really important to me—I’ve been waiting to see this for years…’
‘Stand back, everyone,’ shouted the captain. ‘No one get near these bears! We have this totally under control!’
‘It’s all a mistake…’ yelled Fuzz. ‘We’re really…’
Suddenly the net flew from the men’s hands. It flopped down over him, and over Pa as well.
‘Glub, glub, glub…’ gurgled Fuzz, through a mouthful of net. ‘You don’t understand!’
But it was too late. Even as he spoke the men pulled on a rope that drew the net tightly about them.
‘Hey, what’s going on?’ cried Pa. ‘I just want to see the polar bears!’
‘Just stay where you are, everyone!’ called the captain. ‘We’ll soon have these bears off the deck. Nothing to be afraid of! Just stay clear!’
‘But…but…help…’ yelled Fuzz desperately.
Creak! Creak!
A giant hook descended from a crane above the deck. It lifted up the net—with them both inside. ‘But I’m not a bear!’ screamed Fuzz. ‘It’s all a mistake! I’m a kid! I’m a kid!’
‘Hey, Martha,’ he heard someone say down on the deck below. ‘Did you just hear one of those bears talk?’
‘Don’t be silly, Duane. Polar bears don’t talk. It must have been an echo.’
‘It’s not an echo! It’s me! My Pa’s not a bear either! Pa, say something!’
‘Grpt ftp swtp,’ said Pa. ‘Sorry, my mouth was full of your fur. Hey,’ he yelled, ‘I’m very sorry but we’re not really…arrrrrrrrkkkkk!’
Thud!
The net—with Pa and Fuzz bundled inside—dropped onto the snowy shore.
‘Attention everyone! The situation has been resolved,’ Fuzz heard the captain yell, back on the deck of the ship. ‘The polar bears a
re safely off the ship and the ship is due to depart and return to normal shipping lanes shortly.’
Pooo-oooot! called the ship’s siren.
‘Pa!’ screamed Fuzz. ‘They’re sailing away! Pa? Pa!’
But Pa was staring at the bears.
CHAPTER 8
Off with the Bears
‘Come back!’ screamed Fuzz, dancing and leaping on the snowy shore and waving his arms in the air. ‘We’re not bears! We’re just passengers in polar bear suits! Come back!’
But the cruise ship was already too far away for anyone to hear him. A few passengers waved and pointed, their cameras clicking. But most seemed more intent on getting back down to the warmth of their cabins.
‘Pa! You’ve got to do something! We’ll be stranded here! Quick, if we just take off our polar bear suits maybe they’ll see that we’re not…’
‘Polar bears,’ whispered Pa.
‘Exactly!’ Fuzz began to pull at the velcro on his suit.
‘Real polar bears!’ whispered Pa.
‘Yes! They have to see we’re not real ones! We have to hurry!’
‘Over there!’ Pa’s voice was filled with awe. ‘Real polar bears!’
‘What? Pa, what are you muttering about! Take off your suit! We have to…oh,’ said Fuzz.
There, on an iceberg just off shore, were polar bears. Seven of them.
‘Help,’ said Fuzz in a small voice. Real polar bears—big, fierce, smelly, human-attacking polar bears. Fuzz began to do up his suit again, very, very slowly.
Maybe, just maybe, the polar bears would think that he and Pa were real polar bears, too.
Maybe, just maybe, they wouldn’t attack them and leave them bleeding in the snow.
Maybe, just maybe, they wouldn’t bother them at all. Maybe they were fishing or…or something. Maybe they’d just head the other way and…
Fuzz gulped. The bears were heading straight for them! Even as he looked they leapt from one ice floe to another, seeming to instinctively know which ones would bear their weight.
‘Pa!’ he hissed. ‘We have to get out of here! Fast!’
Wonderfully Wacky Families Page 20
