He tried to kiss her but she dodged him. “You are the only woman in the realm worth marrying,” he said softly, catching her face in his hands. “But whether or not I would have been wise enough to realize it is another matter.”
She softened considerably at his words, trying to remain wounded but not succeeding. When he kissed her sweetly, she relented fully.
“Now,” he said, “I have some business to attend to for a moment.”
He called to Marcus and the man looked over at him from where he was talking to two young ladies. When Christopher beckoned, he excused himself politely and approached.
“I have something to do that shan’t take me but a few minutes.” Christopher stood up and offered Marcus his chair. “Entertain Lady de Lohr while I am away, please.”
Marcus sat down and Christopher winked at his wife before he quit the hall. Dustin watched his massive frame leave through the ornate doorway, focusing reluctantly on Marcus. The man merely smiled at her, pleasantly, before finding interest elsewhere. He never left her side but he didn’t pay much attention to her, either. Such was the situation between him and Dustin these days; she accepted it, but she was sorry. Whatever was troubling him, she hoped he would soon be over it.
She missed the old Marcus.
*
Amanda was waiting in the alcove. Christopher slipped into the small room, pulling the heavy silk portiere closed behind him. Impatiently, he faced his old flame and crossed his arms.
“What is so important, Amanda?” he demanded in a low voice.
Her smile vanished. She had expected more than this surly attitude from a man she had devoted her life to for a year and a half. Rebuffed by the demeanor, the old familiar hurt began to creep into her veins.
“Not only to me, but to you, Chris,” she said softly. “I haven’t seen you since we last parted ways. You were preparing to leave with Richard, I believe, when I last saw you. I am glad to see you returned home whole and safe, and a legend, no less. I was very proud to hear…”
He cut her off irritably. “My wife is waiting for me. What is it that you wanted to say?”
Amanda was not an aggressive, overbearing noblewoman, as so many of them were. She had a genuinely sweet character and Christopher’s brusque manner was upsetting her greatly.
“Why are you acting like this?” she whispered. “I have done nothing to warrant this treatment.”
His stiff stance softened, nay, she had not. But he was terrified to be alone with her, not because she was a weakness for him, but he was afraid someone would see them.
“I am sorry,” he said. “It’s just that I have had a busy day and I am fatigued. Please tell me what was so important that I must meet with you privately.”
She gazed back at him a moment, the man she had loved so dearly. He was even more handsome and powerful than she had ever remembered; her life that could have been. But in the same thought she knew in her heart that he had never truly wanted her.
“Your wife is very lucky, Chris,” she said softly. “And very young. Where did you find her?”
He sighed. “Richard betrothed us and we have been married less than four months.”
“She’s a beautiful girl,” Amanda observed. “Is she kind, too?”
He almost smiled. “When she wants to be. But more often than not, she’s a stubborn, spirited wench who always gets her way.”
Amanda smiled. “Most women do. Pray be good to her; I know how you hate disobedience in a woman.”
He nodded, avoiding her knowing gaze. “May we come to the point, Amanda? Or did you simply wish to get me alone and talk about my wife.”
Amanda shook her head. “Nay, I can find out all I want about her from the gossips. Your wife is a favorite subject right now. And what’s this I hear about Marcus Burton?”
Christopher blinked slowly, rolling his eyes up to her. “Lies, all of it. Marcus is a good and loyal vassal, as you well know.”
She could sense his impatience with her and knew she had better come to the point of their clandestine meeting or there would be hard feelings between them. She was hurt to realize he did not want to be around her in the least, whether it was because of her personally or because he was truthful when he said he wanted to return to his wife, she wasn’t sure. But to avoid a most uncomfortable situation, she decided to come to the point.
“I asked to meet you here for a valid reason, Chris,” she began softly. “There is something you should know. When we last met, before you left for the crusades, I had come to tell you of something. Do you remember? I sent you a missive saying that I was coming specifically to see you?”
He nodded slowly. “I do. You told me you were returning to France.”
“True, but I didn’t tell you everything I had intended to,” she said softly, lowering her gaze for the first time. She suddenly seemed ill at ease and he saw her take a deep breath. “I had gone to London to tell you…to tell you that I was pregnant with your child.”
His eyes widened. “What?”
She nodded shortly and stood up from the chair. “ ’Tis true. I had gone to London to tell you I was pregnant, but when I saw how consumed you were with Richard and the quest, I knew that it would be futile to divulge the information,” she said, looking at him. Her brown eyes were filled with sorrow. “You would have gone, anyway. I know you too well, Christopher. And if you hadn’t and stayed simply to marry me so that our child would not have been a bastard, you would not have achieved your auspicious reputation. So, you see, ’tis a good thing you went after all.”
He looked stunned. His hand went to his head and he sagged against the wall, mulling over the revelation. “So you didn’t tell me? Amanda, I find this difficult to grasp.”
“I know,” she said softly. “But I did what I thought was best. Father was returning to France and I with him. Should anyone ask about my pregnancy, I simply told them that my husband had been killed in the crusades. An excellent lie, if I do say so.”
He stared at her, slowly shaking his head. “Good Christ, Amanda…where is the child?”
“In France,” she replied softly. “His name is Peter Myles de Vries, my husband’s last name.”
He could only look at her, astonished and seized with a tremendous sense of shock. She watched the emotions play on the face of a man she had seldom seen emotion from, and it brought her pain anew, as well, even though it had been nearly four years. God, she had loved this man more than life itself and she had known very well that the feelings were not returned. Aye, she bore his bastard because she knew it was all she would ever have of him. The elderly man she eventually married never questioned her about her son’s paternity, and he had loved them both unconditionally. Although she did not return his love, it was a stable environment for Peter, and her son was her utmost concern.
Yet she didn’t blame Christopher for simply being himself. He was far too independent for a wife, so she thought. Four years had done a lot to ease her bitterness. She went over to him and put her small hands in his massive arms.
“I named him Peter Myles, after my father and yours. He’s the exact image of you, Chris, truly,” she said softly, seeing his shock. “I am sorry, I do not mean to throw this overwhelming news on you, but I felt you should know. ’Tis your right.”
He gazed back at her, his hand enclosing one of hers. “Oh, Amanda, I do not know what to say.”
“Say nothing,” she forced a brave smile. “ ’Tis all past now and you have a bright future with a beautiful young wife to look forward to. She will bear you many strong children, I know it.”
“She is pregnant now,” he whispered as if the thought suddenly occurred to him. “She insists this child is a boy.”
“It probably is,” Amanda agreed. “ ’Tis only right that a de Lohr bear male heirs.”
He was staring off into space, digesting this bit of news that left him shaken to the core. His eyes met Amanda’s brown ones. “I have a son?” he echoed with disbelief.
She nodded, a smile still playing on her lips. “A big, healthy boy with your blond hair. He knows about you, Chris. I felt he had a right to know who his true father was, although my husband has raised him as his own. Peter is a happy, well-mannered boy and you would be verily proud of him.”
He was shocked. He remembered telling Leeton once that if he had a son, he would never let him out of his sight. Now he discovered he had a son, and he found that demanding access to the child to be the farthest thing from his mind. His son was a boy, happy, living with his mother and the only father he had ever known. What right did he have to demand the child be returned to him? He had no right at all and he would never be so very cruel. Furthermore, he would never do that to Amanda. She didn’t have to tell him, but she had out of courtesy and respect. He would not turn on her like a madman and demand to take her child away. But his heart ached for his little boy. His son.
Amanda sensed his confusion and knew it was time for her to leave. She patted his hand and kissed him on the cheek. “Good fortune to you, baron, and your new family. I must go now.”
He looked up at her, the sky-blue eyes dark with misery. “Thank you for telling me, Amanda. I am only sorry… sorry we had to go our separate ways. I am sorry you felt that you could not tell me you were pregnant when last we saw each other.”
“It was for the best,” she insisted bravely. “Had you stayed and married me, you would have been miserable. You didn’t love me; you loved Richard. ’Tis better this way, Chris. I would prefer it as such than being married to a man who didn’t want me.”
She gave him one last smile and blew him a kiss as she yanked the curtains open. He heard her give an audible gasp and he stiffened, turning his attention to the hall before her. Marcus Burton was standing in the middle of the corridor, staring at both of them quite emotionlessly. His eyes glittered in the torchlight and Christopher could feel the disgust emanating from the man.
“Your wife is feeling ill, baron,” he said coldly. “She is returning to your apartments.”
Christopher pushed past Amanda and on into the hall. “Marcus,” he glanced at Amanda’s apprehensive face. “Lady Amanda and I were simply having a private conference, nothing more.”
Marcus spun on his heel. “Why should I care about anything you do, baron?”
Christopher reached out and grabbed Marcus, causing the big man to tense as if preparing for a fistfight. His cobalt-blue eyes were blazing with fury.
“It is not what it looks like, Marcus,” Christopher insisted in a low voice.
Amanda found her feet and slipped past the men without a word. Marcus eyed her with contempt, as if she were the castle prostitute. Then, he stopped trying to bank his anger and faced Christopher.
“You have got a hell of a lot of nerve lecturing me on the fidelity of marriage when you go out and find the nearest bitch to bed,” he seethed.
Christopher kept himself calm. “I wasn’t going to bed her, Marcus. She’s an old friend.”
“I know,” Marcus snapped. “I know exactly who she is. You had a relationship with her. Jesus Christ, it isn’t enough that you married the most beautiful woman in the realm? You do not even have the decency to remain faithful to your wife, while accusing me of lusting after her. You hypocritical son-of-a-bitch.”
“Watch your tongue,” Christopher growled. “You know not of what you speak.”
“Then, pray tell me.” Marcus was agitated, trying to keep himself from physically attacking Christopher. “I came out here looking for you because the wine has made Dustin sick. She vomited all over her surcoat and even now David and Deborah are taking her back to your apartments. And I find you alone with that French whore in a secluded alcove? What in the hell am I supposed to think?”
Christopher’s jaw ticked ominously. “I realize how it looks, Burton, but trust me when I tell you nothing went on. I swear on my oath to Richard that nothing happened between Lady Amanda and I.” His tone lowered to a husky growl. “But since you seem to think the very worst, I will tell you my reasons for being alone with her. Lady Amanda and I did indeed have a relationship before I went on the quest. We parted ways shortly before I left, and she came to tell me that she found herself pregnant around the time I sailed with Richard. My son is four years old now, living with the Earl of Reivne in France,” he said, and found that repeating the news filled him with sadness and longing all over again. “That, baron, is why I was alone with her. This is the first time I have seen her since I left with Richard and she felt I had a right to know, as the boy’s father.”
Marcus looked back at him doubtfully, but sedate nonetheless. “You didn’t know she was pregnant when you left?”
“Of course not,” Christopher said. “If I had, I would now be married to Lady Amanda instead of Dustin. I would not have allowed her to bear my bastard in shame.”
Marcus’ hot stance cooled in mere seconds as the full impact of the explanation weighed down on him. “I do not know what to say,” he lowered his gaze. “I heard your voice and was about to pull the curtain back myself when Lady Amanda opened it. I saw you, and I saw her, and I drew the only natural conclusion I could think of.”
“I realize that,” Christopher said. “God only knows, I know exactly how it must have looked. But I assure you, the lady simply wanted to tell me of my son. That was all Marcus. Surely you know I care for Dustin a great deal. I’d never do anything to jeopardize my relationship with her.”
Marcus shrugged, off-balance, and ran his hand through his hair. “I know.”
Christopher began to walk, taking Marcus with him. “Is Dustin all right?”
“Sick to her stomach,” he replied. “She’s more upset about ruining the surcoat than anything.”
Christopher nodded, quickening his pace as they headed for the stairs.
“Chris, about everything I said,” Marcus offered feebly. “I didn’t mean it. I was angry.”
“I know you were, and you had every reason to be,” Christopher replied.
They took the stairs two at a time, reaching the dimly lit corridor on the second floor.
“I am sorry you never knew about your son,” Marcus said quietly, sounds echoing off the wall. “I can only imagine your surprise.”
Christopher nodded. “Shocked is more apt a term. And sorrow. Sorrow that I will most likely never know him,” he said, looking at Marcus. “This knowledge goes no further, Marcus. Not even David, and especially not Dustin. Agreed?”
“Absolutely,” Marcus nodded.
“Thank you,” Christopher said sincerely as they rounded the corner into the wing where he was housed. He knew that Marcus would take his secret to the grave, but he was still reeling from the news. But it filled him with an even greater love for the child Dustin carried.
He was denied one child, mayhap he could make it up to the next.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
The weeks following Christopher’s announcement of Dustin’s pregnancy brought happy mentions from friends and allies alike. David in particular seemed thrilled with the news. But the one person in Christopher’s inner circle, however, who seemed to be increasingly distant from the mother-to-be was Marcus.
Dustin noticed, of course, every hour of every day. She had hoped he would come around, or at least tell her what was bothering him, but he had made no such attempt. As the days passed, so did her sense of concern. Finally, she’d had enough. His aloofness was beginning to wear on her and she was determined to know what his issue was.
One day when he had come to discuss a few matters with Christopher, she slipped out and followed him from her apartments, cornering him in a deserted hall as he was heading for the narrow servant’s staircase at the end of the corridor.
“I would know what is troubling you, Marcus,” she demanded softly.
He studied her coolly, his cobalt-blue eyes glittering in the torchlight. She was dressed in a heavy woolen surcoat, a bit too long due to her expanding waistline, and her gray eyes stared back at him with conce
rn.
“I do not know what you mean,” he replied.
“Do not insult my intelligence,” she snapped. “You have been sulking around here for weeks now and I want to know why. Have I said something to offend you? Has Chris?”
His hard stance softened a bit. “No, Dustin, no one has offended me. There is nothing the matter, truly.”
She sighed with frustration. “Marcus, I thought you were my friend. You have always been excessively kind and sweet and attentive, but lately it’s as if I do not know you at all. You are not the same man I have come to know and love.”
He blinked at her. “Love?”
She flipped her hand in a careless gesture. “Yes, of course, as my friend. Won’t you please tell me what is bothering you? I do not like seeing you like this.”
He could see she was genuinely concerned and felt his guard go down. For her, and only her, would it go down.
“Truly, Dustin, there’s nothing wrong, at least nothing that can be solved,” he said softly.
“What is it?” she begged softly. “Will you please tell me?”
She moved towards him as he shook his head. God, he had been fighting his feelings for her ever since he met her and when he found out she was with child, it was as if a white-hot blade had been thrust through his heart. It had only gotten worse with time. The happier Dustin and Christopher were, the more distressed he became. He knew his attitude had reflected his feelings, but he simply could not help himself. He loved her and probably always would, and would have given twenty years of his life if the child in her womb could have been his.
He put his big hands on her arms in a reassuring gesture. “There is nothing to tell, Lady de Lohr. But I appreciate your concern.”
Dustin touched his hand, the hand that was slowly coming back to strength. “I am not as naive as you think, Marcus. I know a great deal, or at least I sense it.” She pulled his hand off her arm and held it between them. “This is a good example, I know you injured your own hand, although I do not know why, but I suspect I had something to do with it. You lied to me.”
The de Lohr Dynasty Page 54
