It was on the fifth morning afterward, as I was sitting on the piazza hemming an organdie ruffle for my big little girl — she does shoot up so fast — that I heard on the gravel Charles’s footstep.
For some time after his arrival, as he sat, with his hat thrown off, talking lightly of his New York sojourn, I was so completely glad to see him, and to see him looking so well and in such buoyant spirits, that I could think of nothing else until he mentioned taking tea “At the Sign of the Three-legged Stool” with Lorraine’s sisters, with Lyman Wilde — and with Aunt Elizabeth.
My work dropped out of my hands.
He laughed. “Yes. Dear mother, since you never have seen him, I don’t know that I can hope to convey any right conception of Wilde’s truly remarkable character. He is, to begin with, the best of men. Picture, if you can, a nature with a soul completely beautiful and selfless, and a nervous surface quite as pachydermatous and indiscriminating as that of an ox. Wilde accepts everybody’s estimate of himself. Not only the quality of his mercy, but also of his admiration, is quite unstrained. So that he sees the friend of his youth not at all as I or any humanized perception at the Crafts Settlement would see her, but quite as she sees herself, as a fascinating, gifted, capricious woman of the world, beating the wings of her thwarted love of beauty against cruel circumstance. I noticed his attitude as soon as I mentioned to him that Lorraine had by chance discovered that he and my aunt were old acquaintances. He said that he would be very much interested in seeing her again. As he happened at the moment to be looking over a packet of postals announcing his series of talks on ‘Script,’ he asked me her address, called his stenographer, and had it added to his mailing-list. But before the postal reached her she had called him up to tell him she had lately heard of his work and of him for the first time after all these years, through Lorraine, and to ask him to come to see her. His call, I am sure, they spent in a rich mutual misunderstanding as thoroughly satisfactory to both as any one could wish. For, as I say, on my last visit in the Crafts neighborhood she was taking tea with all of them and Dr. Denbigh.”
“Dr. Denbigh!” I repeated, in surprise. “Oh, Charles, are any of them not well?”
“No, no. I think he’s been in New York” — he gave a groan— “on account of some delicate finesse on Maria’s part, some incomprehensible plan of hers for bringing Goward back here. The worst of it is that, like all her plans, I believe it’s going to be perfectly successful.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, in consternation.
“From every natural portent, I think that horrid infant in arms was, when I left New York, about to cast his handkerchief or rattle toward Peggy again. I’m morally certain that he and all his odious emotional disturbances will be presenting themselves for her consideration in Eastridge before long; and, since they strike me as quite too odious for the nicest girl in the world, I hope, before they reach here, she’ll be far away — absolutely out of reach.”
“I hope so, too.” But as I said it, for the first time there came around me, like a blank, rising mist, the prospect of a journey farther and a longer separation than any I had before imagined between us.
“I knew you’d think so. That was, partly, why I acted as I did, for her, dear mother” — he leaned forward a little toward me and took up one end of the ruffle I was stitching again to cover my excitement— “and for Lorraine and for me, in engaging our passage abroad.”
He seemed not to expect me to speak at once, but after a little quiet pause, while we both sat thinking, went on, with great gentleness: “You know it’s about our only way of really protecting her from any annoyance here, even that of thoughts of her own she doesn’t like. There will be so very wonderfully much for her to see, and I believe she’ll enjoy it. One of Lorraine’s younger sisters is coming to be with us, perhaps, for a while in Switzerland — and the Elliots — animal sculptors. You remember them, don’t you, and Arlington — studying decorative design that winter when you were in New York? They’ll be abroad this summer. I believe we’ll all have a very charming, care-free time walking and sketching and working — a time really so much more charming for a lovely and sensible young woman than sitting in a talking town subject to the incursions of a lover she doesn’t truly like.” He stopped a moment before he added, sincerely: “Then — it isn’t simply for her that this way would be better, mother, but for me, for every one.”
“For you and for every one?” I managed to make myself ask with tranquillity.
“Yes. Why wouldn’t this relieve immensely all the sufferers from my commercial career at the factory? Don’t you think that’s somewhat unjust, not simply to Maria’s and Tom’s requirements for the family standing and fortunes” — he laughed a moment— “but to father’s need there of a right-hand business man?” That was his way of putting it. “For a long time,” he pursued, more earnestly than I’ve ever heard him speak before in his life, “I’ve been planning, mother, to go away to study and to sketch. I’m doing nothing here. Maybe what I would do away from here might not seem to you so wonderful. But it would have one dignity — whatever else it were or were not, it would be my own.”
Perhaps it may seem strange, but in those few words and instants, when my son spoke so simply and sincerely of his own work, I felt, more than in his actual wedding with his wife, the cleaving pang of a marriage for him. At the same time I was stricken beyond all possible speech by my rising consciousness of the injustice of his sense of failure here in his own father’s house, in my house. How weakly I had been lost in the thousand little anxieties and preoccupations of my every-day, to let myself be unwittingly engulfed in his older sister’s strange, blank prejudice, to lose my own true understanding of the rights and the happiness of one of the children — I can think it, all unspoken and in silence — somehow most my own.
It seemed as though my heartstrings tightened. Everything blurred before me. I never in my life have tried so hard before to hold my soul absolutely still to see quite clearly, as though none of this were happening to myself, what would be best for my boy’s future, for Peggy’s, for their whole lives. It was in the midst of these close-pressing thoughts that I heard him saying: “So that perhaps this would truly be the right way for every one.” Only too inevitably I knew his words were true; and now I could force myself at last to say, quietly: “Why — yes — if that would make you happier, Charles.” He rose and came up to my chair then so beautifully, and moved it to a shadier place, as Peggy, catching sight of him from the garden, ran up with a cry of surprise to meet him, to talk about it all.
I scarcely know whether her father’s consciousness of the coming separation for me, or my consciousness of the coming separation for him, made things harder or easier for both of us. Cyrus was obliged to make a business trip to Washington on the next day, and it was decided that as Peggy especially wished to be with him now before her long absence, she should accompany him in the morning.
On the midnight before we were all startled from sleep by the clang of the door-bell. Good little Billy, always hoping for excitement, and besides extremely sweet in doing errands, answered it. The rest of us absurdly assembled in kimonos and bathrobes at the head of the stairs, dreading we scarcely knew what, for the members of the family not in the house. Within a few minutes Billy dashed up-stairs again, considerately holding high, so that we all could see it, a special-delivery letter, the very same illegible, bleared envelope which had before annoyed us so extremely. It was addressed in washed-out characters to Miss — Talbert. The word Peggy, very clear and black, had been lately inserted in the same handwriting; and below, the street and number had been recently refreshed, apparently by the hand of Maria.
As this familiar, wearisome object reappeared before us all, Peggy, with a little quiver of mirth, looking out between her long braids, cried: “Call back the boy!” By the time the messenger had returned she had readdressed the envelope, unopened, to Mr. Goward. Billy took it back down-stairs again; and every one trooped off to b
ed, Alice and mother with positive snorts and flounces of impatience.
Needless to say, Tom and Maria returned in perfect safety on Saturday. Before then, at twelve o’clock on the same morning, when Cyrus and Peggy had gone, I was sitting on the piazza making a little money-bag for her, with mother sitting rocking beside me, and complaining of every one in peace, when Dr. Denbigh drove up to the horse-block, flung his weight out of the buggy, and hurried up the steps. He shook hands with us hastily and abstractedly, and asked if he might speak to me inside the house.
“Mrs. Talbert,” he said, closing the door of the library as soon as we were inside it, “I am sure you will try not to feel alarmed at something I must tell you of at once. The early morning train I came on from New York, the one that ought to get in at Eastridge at eleven, was derailed two hours ago on a misplaced switch between here and Whitman. No one was killed, but many of the passengers were injured. Among the injured I took care of was Mr. Goward. His arm has been broken. He’s been badly shaken up — and he’s now in a state of shock at the Whitman Hospital. The boy has been asking for Peggy, and then for you. I promised him that after my work was done — all the injured were taken there by a special as soon as possible after the wreck — I’d ask you to drive back to see him. Will you come?”
Of course I went, then. And at Harry Goward’s request I have gone twice since. He is very ill, too ill to talk, and though Dr. Denbigh says he will outlive a thousand stronger men, he has been rather worse this morning. When I first saw him he asked for Peggy in one gasping word, and when he learned she had gone to Washington turned even whiter than he had been before. He is nervously quite wrecked and wretched; has no confidence in Dr. Denbigh; and either Maria or I will go to the hospital every day till the boy’s mother comes from California. It is a very trying situation. For his misfortune has, of course, not changed my knowledge of his nature. I dread telling Cyrus and Peggy, when I meet their returning noon train, after I have left mother at home, of everything that has happened here.
As though these difficulties were not enough, this morning, just before we started to Whitman, we were involved in another perplexity through the unwilling agency of Mr. Temple. He called me up to read me a bewildering telegram he had received an hour before from Elizabeth. It said:
“Please end Eastridge scandal by announcing my engagement in Banner. — Lily.”
“Engagement to whom?” Mr. Temple had asked by telephone of Charles, who said none of us could be responsible for any definite information in the matter unless, perhaps, Maria. On consultation, Maria had said to Mr. Temple that in New York Mr. Goward had imparted to her that Elizabeth had told him many weeks ago that she was irrevocably betrothed to Dr. Denbigh. Mr. Temple had finally referred unsuccessfully to me for Elizabeth’s address in order to ask her to send a complete announcement in the full form she wished printed.
(“Whoa, Douglas. Well — mother, you had a nice little nap, didn’t you. No, no; I won’t be late. It’s not more than five minutes to the station. Thanks, Lena. Yes, Billy dear, you can get in. Why, I don’t know why you shouldn’t drive.”)
The train is just pulling in. Charles is there and Maria, each standing on one side of the car-steps. Now I see them. That looks like Peggy’s suit-case the porter’s carrying down. Yes, it is. There — there they are, coming down the steps behind him, Cyrus and my dear girl — how well they look! Oh, how I hope everything will come right for them!
CHAPTER X THE SCHOOL-BOY by Mary Raymond Shipman Andrews
Rabbits.
Automobile. (Painted red, with yellow lines.)
Automatic reel. (The 3-dollar kind.)
New stamp-book. (The puppy chewed my other.)
Golly, I forgot. I suppose I mustn’t use this, but it’s my birthday next month, and I want ‘steen things, and I thought I’d better make a list to pin on the dining-room door, where the family could take their pick what to give me. Lorraine gave me this blank-book, and told me that if I’d write down everything that I knew about Peggy and Harry Goward and all that stuff, she’d have Sally make me three pounds of crumbly cookies with currants on top, in a box, to keep in my room just to eat myself, and she wouldn’t tell Alice, so I won’t be selfish not to offer her any as she won’t know about it and so won’t suffer. I’m going to keep them in the extra bureau drawer where Peg puts her best party dress, so I guess they’ll be et up before anybody goes there.
Peggy’s feeling pretty sick now to dress up for parties, but I know a thing or two that the rest don’t know. Wouldn’t Alice be hopping! She always thinks she’s wise to everything, and to have a thick-headed boy-person know a whacking secret that they’d all be excited about would make her mad enough to burst. She thinks she can read my ingrown soul too — but I rather think I have my own interior thoughts that Miss Alice doesn’t tumble to. For instance, Dr. Denbigh.
Golly, I forgot. Lorraine said she’d cut down the cookies if things weren’t told orderly the way they happened. So I’ve got to begin back. First then, I’ve had the best time since Peggy got engaged that I’ve ever had in my own home. Not quite as unbossed as when they sent me on the Harris farm last summer, and I slept in the stable if I wanted to, and nobody asked if I’d taken a bath. That was a sensible way to live, but yet it’s been unpecked at and pleasant even at home lately. You see, with such a lot of fussing about Peggy and Harry Goward, nobody has noticed what I did, and that, to a person with a taste for animals, is one of the best states of living. I’ve gone to the table without brushing my hair, and the puppy has slept in my bed, and I’ve kept a toad behind the wash-basin for two weeks, and though Lena, the maid, knew about it, she shut up and was decent because she didn’t want to worry mother. A toad is such an unusual creature to live with. I’ve got a string to his hind leg, but yet he gets into places where you don’t expect him, and it’s very interesting. Lena seemed to think it wasn’t nice to have him in the towels in the wash-stand drawer, but I didn’t care. It doesn’t hurt the towels and it’s cosey for the toad.
I had a little snake — a stunner — but Lena squealed when she found him in my collars, so I had to take him away. He looked awfully cunning inside the collars, but Lena wouldn’t stand for him, so I let well enough alone and tried to be contented with the toad and the puppy and some June-bugs I’ve got in boxes in the closet, and my lizard — next to mother, he’s my best friend — I’ve had him six months. I’m not sure I wouldn’t rather lose mother than him, because you can get a step-mother, but it’s awfully difficult to replace a lizard like Diogenes. I wonder if Lorraine will think I’ve written too much about my animals? They’re more fun than Peggy anyway, and as for Harry Goward — golly! The toad or lizard that couldn’t be livelier than he is would be a pretty sad animal.
A year ago I was fishing one day away up the river, squatting under a bush on a bank, when Peggy and Dr. Denbigh came and plumped right over my head. They didn’t see me — but it wasn’t up to me. They were looking the other way, so they didn’t notice my fish-line either. They weren’t noticing much of life as it appeared to me except their personal selves. I thought if they wouldn’t disturb me I wouldn’t disturb them. At first I didn’t pay attention to what they were saying, because there was a chub and a trout together after my bait, and I naturally was excited to see if the trout would take it. But when I’d lost both of them I had time to listen.
I wouldn’t have believed it of Dr. Denbigh, to bother about a girl like Peg, who can’t do anything. And he’s a whale, just a whale. He’s six feet-two, and strong as an ox. He went through West Point before he degraded himself into a doctor, and he held the record there for shot-putting, and was on the foot-ball team, and even now, when he’s very old and of course can’t last long, he plays the best tennis in Eastridge. He went to the Spanish War — quite awhile ago that was, but yet in modern times — and he was at San Juan. You can see he’s a Jim dandy — and him to be wasting time on Peggy — it’s sickening! Even for a girl she’s poor stuff. I don’t mean, of
course, that she’s not all right in a moral direction, and I wouldn’t let anybody else abuse her. Everybody says she’s pretty, and I suppose she is, in a red-headed way, and she’s awfully kind, you know, but athletically — that’s what I’m talking about — she doesn’t amount to a row of pins. She can’t fish or play tennis or ride or anything.
Yet all the same it’s true, I distinctly heard him say he loved her better than anything on earth. I don’t think he could have meant better than Rapscallion; he’s awfully fond of that horse. Probably he forgot Rapscallion for the moment. Anyhow, Peg was sniffling and saying how she was going back to college — it was the Easter vacation — and how she was only a stupid girl and he would forget her. And he said he’d never forget her one minute all his life — which was silly, for I’ve often forgotten really important things. Once I forgot to stop at Lorraine’s for a tin of hot gingerbread she’d had Sally make for me to entirely eat by myself, and Alice got it and devoured it all up, the pig! Anyway, Dr. Denbigh said that, and then Peggy sniffled some more, and I heard him ask her:
“What is it, dear?”
“Dear,” your grandmother. She said, then, why wouldn’t he let her be engaged to him like anybody else, and it was hard on a girl to have to beg a man to be engaged, and then he laughed a little and they didn’t either of them say anything for a while, but there were soft, rustling sounds — a trout was after my bait, so I didn’t listen carefully. When I noticed again, Dr. Denbigh was saying how he was years and years older, and it was his duty to take care of her and not allow her to make a mistake that might ruin her life, and he wouldn’t let her hurry into a thing she couldn’t get out of, and a lot more. Peg said that forty wasn’t old, and he was young enough for her, and she was certain, CERTAIN — I don’t know what she was certain of, but she was horribly obstinate about it.
Delphi Complete Works of William Dean Howells Page 879
