by Holly Rayner
He’ll go back to his routines, and I’ll go back to mine.
All of this will be lost.
I can’t let that happen.
But if I tell him how I feel, he might reject me. He might not feel the same way.
There have been moments of mutual desire between us, but I’m not sure how Garrett feels about that. Is he as confused by his feelings as I am?
I rake my hand through my hair, trying to sort out how I feel.
There’s so much that I want to say to Garrett. I want to tell him that I’m falling for him—hard and fast. I want to tell him that I haven’t felt this strongly toward a man in my entire life. It’s not just that he’s going to be the father of my children—though that’s part of it—it’s everything about him. I like the sound of his laugh, the way he strokes a horse’s nose, the way he ruffles Colt’s hair. If I leave tomorrow, without saying it, I might regret it for the rest of my life.
Now is my chance to tell him what’s on my heart. Right now.
I feel my chest rising and falling quickly as I consider standing and marching over to the main house.
Fear, strong and sharp, prods at me, trying to convince me not to go. It’s like a voice, whispering in my ear: “He doesn’t feel the same way. You’re going to ruin your chances of having a friendly relationship with him in the future; don’t jeopardize the cooperative, mature relationship you’ve built up.”
“Screw it,” I say aloud. The words dispel the whispered doubts in my mind. “I’m going over there,” I announce to the vacant room. “I’m going to tell him how I feel.”
It’s chillier than I remembered, outside, and I hug myself as I jog from the guest house to the ranch. I knock on the door, but no one answers. I poke my head in, as I’ve done so many times this week.
“Hello?” I say. I keep my voice relatively quiet because I don’t want to wake Colt.
There’s no response, but I do hear the sound of Garrett’s voice, floating down the hallway from the direction of his office. I recognize his professional tone, though it’s muted given the distance. He’s on the phone with one of his employees.
I make my way to his office, mentally preparing for what I’m going to say. I’ll just start with, “I need to talk to you,” and then go from there. That should work. I’ll feel better once I get this off my chest.
His office door is open. I approach it, still rehearsing my words in my mind. As I near the door, a fragment of a sentence stops me in my tracks. “Yes, a whole week,” Garrett says. “It’s been a nightmare.”
A nightmare? Is he talking about me?
I’m still in the hallway, about to reach out to open the door, but now I pull my hand back. I stand frozen, with my ears perked for more.
Chapter 20
Garrett
“Yes, a whole week,” I say to Justin, my assistant. “It’s been a nightmare.”
“But I thought that the Trade Express team in Singapore was going to handle things?” Justin says. “Their CEO, Brent, was going to stay on and train the new CEO. I don’t see how this has anything to do with us. They should just transfer the money like they agreed.”
“I know,” I say. “But it’s been one complication after another. Honestly, I can’t wait until the whole thing is over and done with.”
I reach a hand up and rub my temple. Thinking of the sale of my company in Asia gives me an almost instant stress headache. The deal was supposed to be complete days ago, but it’s gone very badly. My absenteeism hasn’t helped things. Problems I would normally handle in minutes have grown from molehills into mountains.
I’m about to ask Justin to arrange a meeting for me on Monday, with Brent and the new CEO, when a noise in the hallway stops me. It’s an audible gasp. My first thought is that it’s Colt, up with a nightmare. Sometimes he has trouble sleeping. I wait for him to barge into the office, in his usual direct manner, but he doesn’t appear. Instead I hear footsteps moving away from my office door, retreating down the hallway.
Curious, I stand. Colt wouldn’t run away like that.
If it wasn’t Colt, it must have been Karla. Maybe she came to see me. But why is she retreating?
I move toward the office doorway. “Justin, I need to go,” I say. “Something just came up.”
I hang up and step out into the hallway.
Sure enough, I see Karla, moving quickly down the hallway. She disappears around the corner before I have a chance to call out to her. What is she running from?
When she gasped, it was as though she was hurt, like I said something to upset her. I think over my conversation with Justin, and quickly put the pieces together. A whole week… it’s been a nightmare… one complication after another.
Karla must have assumed I was talking about her!
I take off down the hallway, but before I reach the entryway, I hear the front door slam closed.
I follow her over to the guest house. It’s dark and chilly out. I wait on the front steps of the guest house after knocking, but she doesn’t answer the door.
Of course she isn’t answering. She thinks she just heard me say that I can’t wait to be rid of her. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I wait for a moment or two, and then decide that my best option is to go inside.
The guest house is dark, and I hear the sound of crying. I follow it and find Karla perched on the edge of the couch in the sitting area, her head in her hands. Her back moves up and down as she cries.
I walk toward her, and she looks up. Her eyes are tearstained, and her expression is hurt.
“What is it?” she says. “You don’t have to be here. I don’t want to be just another complication to you.”
“Karla,” I say, mirroring her hurt expression. “I wasn’t talking about you.”
She looks up into my eyes, waiting for more.
“Oh my God,” I say, looking at her—really taking her in. “How could you think that? Karla, you’re not a complication in my life. Far from it.”
There are no lights on in the room. Moonlight streams in through a bank of windows, casting a pale silvery light over us.
“Then what am I…?” she says, her voice trembling and soft.
My whole body feels alive, as though I’m about to jump from an airplane. Adrenaline courses through me. Am I really about to tell her how I feel? Am I going to release all of the emotion that I’ve been so carefully holding back?
I have to. I can’t keep it in any longer.
“You’re the brightest part of my day,” I say. “You’re the reason I’ve felt happier this last week than I have in years. You’re beautiful, you’re kind, you’re smart.”
I step closer to her, and then kneel down on both knees in front of her so that I can look into her eyes. Her hair falls over her face, and I push it back, behind her ear. “I’m falling in love with you, Karla,” I say, looking deeply into her eyes.
I feel frightened to admit this and exhilarated at the same time. I haven’t felt so vulnerable—or alive—in a long, long time.
She looks back into my eyes, and I have the feeling that she’s peering right into my soul. The glistening streak of a tear still marks her cheek. I place my hand on the side of her face, cupping her cheek, and use my thumb to brush away the stain.
“I never expected to fall in love like this,” I say. “It’s confusing… terrifying… but I can’t keep denying it. I feel it with my whole heart.”
She nods, and her face moves slightly in my hand. Her eyebrows tent upward as she says, “I feel it… I feel it, too.”
It is so good to hear her words. I feel so connected to her, in this moment.
“I can’t imagine my life without you,” I admit. “Being here with you, on the ranch… it feels so natural. So right. I don’t want it to end.”
“Me either,” she says, as another tear wells up and overflows her lower lid.
“Maybe it doesn’t have to,” I say.
She gazes at me, a questioning look in her eye.
�
�Karla,” I say, “I’m not usually the type to do things spontaneously like this. I plan everything out, usually very meticulously. You’re going to think I’m crazy, but…”
I begin twisting off the ring I wear on my pinky finger. It’s a college ring that I received when I graduated. The thick gold band has the year I graduated engraved on it, and it has a bright red ruby. It’s hardly an engagement ring, but it will have to do.
I hold the ring in one hand, down low at my side, as I say, “I want to be with you. I want you to stay at the ranch, and I want to stay here, too, with Colt. I want to help you with your pregnancy. I want to be there for you, when you’re feeling sick, or when you crave ice cream at three o’clock in the morning. I want to drive you to the hospital when you go into labor. Most of all, I want to be a loving father to our twins.”
I reposition myself so that one knee is up and one is down. Then I hold up my college ring and offer it to her. “You deserve better—one day soon, I’ll get you a diamond—but for now, will you accept this ring as a symbol of my promise to care for you and the twins, and my commitment to you?”
Chapter 21
Karla
Garrett is on one knee before me. He’s holding out the ring that he usually wears on his pinky. He wants to take care of me. He wants to take care of our children.
Is he asking me what I think he’s asking me?
“Garrett, what are you saying?” I ask.
“I’m trying to say… Karla Moretti, will you marry me?”
Though I’m sitting still, I feel like I can hardly catch my breath. I sip in some air and feel my chin tremble. I was crying earlier because I was so upset about what I heard Garrett say on the phone. Now, my emotions have done a complete turnaround. I feel joy spring up in my heart. I can hardly believe the words that Garrett has just spoken. Just days ago I was fantasizing about dating him. Now, here he is, kneeling before me and asking me to be his wife.
I can barely contain my excitement. Tears spill over my lower lids. I raise my hand to my mouth and hold it there. It’s shaking like a leaf. I look into Garrett’s eyes. I feel my own eyes crinkle at the corners as a smile forms on my lips, and I begin to nod.
As I react, Garrett’s lips turn upward in a smile, too.
“Yes,” I say in a whisper. Then again, my voice stronger and more sure. “I would be honored, Garrett,” I say.
I hold out my left hand and watch in awe as Garrett slips the golden piece of jewelry onto my ring finger. It’s loose, and I laugh.
“It’s not exactly fitted,” Garrett says.
“It’s perfect,” I say, staring down at it.
When I pictured my engagement as a girl, then a teenager, then a young woman, I never once imagined that one day I would feel overjoyed to get a thick, gold, ruby-studded ring. I always pictured white gold, with a princess-cut diamond. But now, looking down at the ring, I realize it couldn’t be any other way. Garrett breaks the mold. He’s anything but average. Of course he wouldn’t give me an average engagement ring.
Our story hasn’t been average, either. We didn’t date for years, then marry, and then decide to have children. Everything has happened out of order, yet somehow, it fits us just right.
“I love it,” I say. Then, I look away from the ring and back to Garrett. “I love you,” I say.
He inches closer. I close my eyes and feel his breath whisper against my lips. As we kiss, I feel all of my anxiety and fear about the future melt away.
In its place, I feel genuine excitement. My heart feels so happy; I feel like I could burst.
I thought I knew what I wanted, before. I thought I knew what would bring me happiness. But all of my hard work, planning and thinking ahead could never have led me to this moment, right here, right now.
I always used to put happiness off, thinking it would happen at some time in the future. I had a bad case of the “one day when’s.”
I think I’m finally cured.
Epilogue
April
The sky is bright blue, and a brisk spring breeze ruffles my hair. I shift the baby carrier that I’m toting into my left hand and use my right to ring Christy’s bell.
Dogs bark within the house, and I hear Christy yelling to Ian to put them into the backyard. I look at Garrett and grin. “Wait till you meet her dogs,” I say. “They’re almost as big as the horses.”
“Oh, boy,” Garrett says with a chuckle. He’s holding a carrier, too.
Colt, standing next to his father, reaches his hand into the baby carrier at Garrett’s side. “You ready to meet some puppies, little Sebastian?” he asks.
Sebastian emits a little coo.
“I think that’s a yes!” says Garrett.
Just then, the door swings open. “Sorry about that,” Christy says, “I had to corral the beasts. You made it!” She smiles wide, and then wraps her arms around me. “Thanks for coming!” She gives me a big bear hug. “Come in, come in! I can’t wait to see these two again! Grace and Sebastian, the little angels. And of course, Mr. Colt… how are you doing, my friend?” She ruffles Colt’s hair.
“Great,” he says. “Where are the dogs?”
“In the backyard,” Christy explains as she ushers us down the hallway into the living room. She points to the door that leads to the back of the house. “The kids are out there, too. Ian is setting up a bouncy house. I do not think it’s going well.” She rolls her eyes. “Ian has put air into a bike tire once, and for some reason he thought pumping up an entire house would be no different.”
“I’m sure it’s an electric pump,” Garrett says, sounding interested. He sets the bassinet down on the coffee table, and Christy leans over it and starts making faces at Sebastian. Little Sebastian’s whole face crinkles up, and he offers Christy a happy grin.
“There’s that smile I remembered!” Christy says.
I pat Garrett’s back. “Why don’t you go see if Ian needs a hand with the bouncy house?” I say. “I’ll stay in here with Grace and Sebastian. Christy and I have some cooking to do, too.”
“I want to see the dogs!” Colt says happily, as he charges to the back door.
“Hang on!” I say. I put down Grace’s bassinet, next to Sebastian’s. Then I fish around in the massive tote bag that I have looped over my shoulder, until I find the present that Colt picked out for Joshua. “Here, take this to Josh,” I say, handing it over.
“Tell him not to open it yet!” Christy calls out, just before Colt disappears through the door. It bangs closed. Garrett laughs and walks over to the door.
“I’ll relay the message,” Garrett says. “You two have fun catching up.”
He disappears, too. Christy and I each pick up a bassinet and make our way to the kitchen. We place the babies on a table off to the side. Sebastian’s already drifting off to sleep, and Grace looks as though she’s close. Christy started the food prep without me, and there are several mixing bowls and ingredients out on the counter.
I start pulling items from my tote bag and placing them next to the others. As I pull out a box of shell noodles, a red pepper, and some basil that I picked earlier that morning I say, “How is Ian liking his new job?”
“He loves it,” Christy says. “We’re both so happy that the bank let us keep the house while he looked for the right fit. GFC Bank is a lot more compassionate than I gave them credit for. Wait, why am I telling you that? You of all people know a bit about the compassion of that particular bank.” She wiggles her brows.
I can’t help but roll my eyes. “I married one of the founders, Christy. I didn’t marry the bank.”
She laughs. “Oh, you know what I mean,” she says. “It was really nice of Garrett to put in a good word for us. I feel so lucky to still be in this house, and we have Garrett to thank for that. But enough about me. How are things going on the ranch? Is the springtime nice out there in the country?”
“It’s amazing!” I say. “Some of the trees in the yard are starting to blossom with these beautiful little w
hite flowers. I’m putting in a big vegetable garden, and a few flower beds, too.”
“I never thought I’d live to see the day when you—Karla Moretti—were gushing over something other than your business. Girl, motherhood has changed you!”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. “It really has,” I say. “I feel so much more relaxed these days than I used to. I used to stress so much over getting my business to succeed. The funny thing is, now that I’ve stopped stressing so much, things with Karla’s Kitchen are going better than ever. I finally learned how to let go of the reins a little, you know? And now that I’m delegating tasks instead of trying to control every little thing, we’re getting more orders than ever.”
“That’s what I like to hear!” Christy says happily. She reaches for the pepper and walks it over to the sink. “So you’re still happy with the move? Are you and Garrett really thinking of staying out in Willow Creek full time?”
I nod. “We both love it. And Colt is happier at the little local school than he was at his private school. He’s getting good grades, and he has friends that he bikes around with, on the dirt roads.” I grin, thinking about all the ways my stepson is thriving.
“You’re not going to get out of birthday-party prep duty just because you moved to Texas, you know,” Christy says. “I expect that we’re going to keep up our tradition.”
I laugh. “Well, now it’s a two-way street,” I say. “You’re going to have to come out to the ranch for Colt’s birthday this June, and then of course the twins, next winter.”
She laughs, too. “We’re going to have six kids’ birthdays to celebrate every year, instead of three! You and your insta-family doubled the count like that.” She snaps her fingers.
I walk around the counter so that I can get one of the cutting boards that’s drying on the rack next to the sink.
“Oh!” Christy says as I reach for the board. “I can’t believe it… I was so distracted by seeing Grace and Sebastian that I forgot to check out your rings! You weren’t wearing them when I saw you last, at the hospital.”
