by Linda Welch
“But I’m talking about Manhattan.”
“You’re not in Manhattan.” With a glare, I hop up, cross to the sink and pick up the kettle. And remember I don’t have tea.
“Does it bother you, that maybe you were human and are… .” he sweeps a hand down his body, “… .like this?”
I grimace. “I was like you when I first came Downside, looking for answers, obsessing. I had ideas: bribe a vampire to go Upside with me, have them use library computers to research, and make inquiries if necessary. But life got in the way and what I may have been lost its relevance. I go with I am what I am. All my memories are of the person I am now, who is not human.”
He mulls it over and I hope he’ll give me a break, but he hasn’t finished. “You said it’s a ‘neat trick’ when we have to escape trouble. Plenty of call for that, is there?”
I sigh, and silently beg the gods for patience. “Our nature makes us uniquely suited for specific work and it can be dangerous.”
“Like rescuing Verity?”
“Uh huh, but mostly I rid the city of undesirable elements, creatures which should be elsewhere. Sometimes they don’t want to leave, they fight back.”
“You work for the vampires?”
“I work for anyone who pays me, providing the job is legal.”
Blessed silence, but all too brief. He breaks it by asking, “Who’s Castle?”
The kettle clangs on the stovetop. My shoulder muscles are so stiff, they hurt. My tone is flat. “He was my partner. He’s dead.”
I’m grateful he doesn’t ask for more. I can’t talk about Castle’s death yet, not to a stranger, and that Castle has returned in a spectral form doesn’t alter anything. He still died horribly.
“How old were you when you came here?”
I give River a weary look; he doesn’t get it. “I could say three days old, because Castle found and brought me down three days after I woke. But whatever we were before, if we existed before, we’re not human so everything your brain tells you about the human lifespan, forget it. Our bodies don’t age like a human body. I’m exactly the same as the day I arrived Downside.”
His mouth is open and he closes it with a snap. “I’ll always look like this?”
“You’ll look and be like this for most of your life,” I correct. “We get tired, sweat, feel the heat and chill, hunger, thirst, but we don’t get sick.”
He hunches over, arms folded on thighs. “But we do die.”
“Nothing lives forever. Like humans, our natural lifespan is ninety to a hundred years.”
An uncomfortable silence surrounds us. When his gaze suddenly zips to mine, I know he’s made the connection. I told him Castle is dead and wasn’t Downside long enough to die of natural causes.
I speak before he can ask about Castle. Not that our death is something I relish talking about, but he deserves to know. “We’re like this until near the end when everything goes downhill. Our organs start shutting down and compared to a human’s the aging process is accelerated, but not instant; we have some warning.”
To indicate this particular lesson is over, I jump up and point at the bathroom. “I bet you’d like to shower. Go ahead.”
Obviously irritated by the not so subtle diversion, he gives me a look, hisses air through clenched teeth and shakes his head. But he takes the hint and goes in the bathroom. The shower runs.
I search for something to put on my feet. Did I throw out my old boots with the cracked heel? Gods damn whoever took my other boots, along with my clothes and weapons. I don’t lack knives but the leather coat and boots were broken in and comfortable.
River needs clothes and a toothbrush. He needs basic hygiene products. What do men use? I’ll have to break into my stash under the floorboard to replace the leather coat, boots, clothes and weapons I lost last night and get a few necessities for River. Although Castle’s grave wiped out half my savings, I have enough left to go shopping. I snort to myself - had I known he’d come back, I could have buried him under a bush and saved the expense.
“I’m gone two minutes and you already replaced me,” Castle says.
I choke on a gasp and spin. Hands joined behind his back, Castle is near the window. He rocks on his heels. “Hello, chickadee.”
His gaze drifts down my torso. “Still stylish, I see.” His chin juts. “That’s my shirt! You sleep in my old shirt?”
I sink on the side of the bed. “You left it here. Why, do you want it back?”
“Oh ha.”
“Have you been watching all the time? I mean, can you hide from me?”
“Don’t think so. I listened outside the door.” His gaze goes to the bathroom door. “You slept with him?”
My jaw drops. “We shared the same bed but nothing happened, not that it’s any of your business.”
“You can drop the indignation, sugarplum.”
I’m piqued. “He was scared to fall asleep. You did the same with me,” I huff.
“Right. Did, didn’t I.” He fingers his jaw and grins. “So you’re following in the master’s footsteps. Does that mean later you’ll mentor him in other ways?” And there go his eyebrows again, wiggling up and down like hairy caterpillars.
“This conversation is over.” I change the subject. “Can River see you?”
“I don’t know and don’t want to find out. We should keep this to ourselves.”
The shower turns off. “Then you’d better scram.”
I take my clothes into the bathroom as River comes out with his hair damp and messy. After dressing, I bring him my spare comb.
What to do with River? Help him find a job, I suppose. And I can give him money when Alain pays me; he earned it. He can get new clothes and whatever else he needs. He’ll have to stay until he can afford his own place. But the apartment is too small, he’ll get on my nerves. I may end up throwing him out.
Except I can’t, damn it. He has to be established before I cut the ties.
If I cut the ties.
“Listen, I’m going out, find us some breakfast. I’m sure you want to get up close and personal with Downside but it’ll be better if we go over a few things first.”
“I’m going to have to go outside sometime,” he says with an obstinate set to his mouth.
“Sure you are, and you will.” I want him prepared, not learn by trial and error. “Trust me on this, okay?”
“All right.” He doesn’t look happy.
“I won’t be long.”
He watches curiously as I slip a slim steel blade in the pocket in my right boot, fit one in each wrist sheath and put on my old denim jacket.
“You’re just going for breakfast, right?”
“I said so, didn’t I?” I straighten up. “I always go out armed.”
I don’t shop in any of my usual haunts on the off-chance the proprietors or other customers ask about Castle. Do the locals know he’s dead? They will want to know the gruesome details but I can’t deal with it yet. I walk a block north to Clancy and Sons, not a favorite of mine but they will do, and I shouldn’t be absent too long in case River takes it into his head to explore.
“You can’t avoid it forever.” Castle startles me. “And you definitely can’t give up Popkin’s lattes.”
“You’re a dead mind reader?”
“Nope. A good guesser. So, how’s it going with your new guy?”
“My new guy? About what you’d expect. Asking questions, driving me crazy.”
Castle is all sympathy. “You’ll get over it.”
“That, or hurt him.”
“You said he can fight - you should partner with him.”
“He did good with the Greché, doesn’t mean we can work together.”
“True. And perhaps he won’t want to.”
River was good Upside, he hammered those vampires, though he fought them as if they were humans. What would he say to killing monsters?
Asking River to work with me won’t be disloyal to Castle, and after all, he suggested i
t. No one can replace Castle, but a partner will make continuing in this business easier. But I’m getting ahead of myself. I barely know River, definitely not enough to trust him with my life.
I return to the apartment with warm croissants stuffed with golden raisins and honey, oranges, tea, sugar and milk.
I often forgo china and eat over the sink, but company in my home instigates an effort to appear civilized. River eyes the pastries with something like lust as I put them on a plate. I dump the kettle on the burner and turn on the stove.
Looking at the plate, he hangs over the counter.
“They’re better warm.” I break off a sugary morsel. The pastry goes down like warm buttery gold. “You never forget your first meal. Enjoy.”
We sit facing, cross-legged on the floor. River touches the plate with two fingers. “I’m afraid to try.”
I grin through a mouthful. “I told you, you’re a regular person. You need food as much as sleep. And if you don’t dig in, I’ll eat the lot.”
He picks up a pastry and holds it a fraction from his lips. Pleasure frissons in my breast as he takes the first bite and slowly chews, stopping to smile widely through a mouthful of crumbs.
He exaggerates a moan deep in his throat. “If nothing else, this makes coming here worthwhile.”
I admire his restraint as he takes another nibble. Castle had to virtually wrestle me from the table when I first ate, I would have ended up with a killer stomachache.
Using a serrated kitchen knife on the orange sends a burst of citrus mist into the air. We almost bang noses leaning in to inhale, and smile before taking half an orange and chewing out the juicy pulp.
River’s questions can be irritating, because he wants reasons and I don’t always have them. I expected that. I didn’t expect to enjoy his company. I resented having to mentor him and cursed myself for acting the Good Samaritan when I brought him Downside. But now his smile, his awe, his sheer newness, secretly delights me. Every response to something new makes me look at it with different eyes.
We cover a lot of ground by sitting at the window and watching the goings-on in the street. Which entities to avoid, who you can look in the eye and those you should not, how you address different people, if you must. What to watch out for.
“What’s that?”
A naked brown figure lumbers along the sidewalk. “A mud man, a rudimentary form of golem, created to perform simple tasks.”
“He hasn’t got any… .”
“It’s not really a he, and it doesn’t need them. Golems don’t experience pleasure, or any emotion for that matter, and they don’t procreate.”
“Ah.” River pushes hair out of his eyes. “I still feel like I’m watching a fantasy movie.”
“You ever watch a movie?”
He frowns at the street. “Don’t remember it, but my mind… .”
“I know. Don’t tear yourself up about it. You just have - ”
“- to accept,” he finishes for me.
“Don’t imagine they’re fantasy come to life.” I jab my thumb at the street. “Upside tales made them pretty and ennobled some. Fairies control the black market for jewelry and amulets carved from human bones. Elves are pimps, thieves, assassins. Werekin are animals trapped in human skin. And a damsel in distress had better know how to slay the dragon ‘cause no knight in shining armor’s going to do it for her.”
“And vampires?”
I fold my arms on my chest. “Oh, Upside didn’t get that entirely right, either.”
I can’t tell River how to use his body. Necessity triggers a change and after that it happens when needed. He holds the ability inside, he just needs a nudge in the right direction.
“Let’s go for a walk,” I suggest.
I take him five miles to Foley Park. He’s tiring when we arrive. Good.
The gravel path erodes as we near the west quadrant. Soon, we walk up a hill where dirt trails crisscross. The quiet cool area is favored by walkers and joggers but not at this time of day. As far as I can see, we have the place to ourselves.
I stop walking and smile sweetly at River. “Tag, you’re it.”
And I take off.
I run, hurdling thick roots which snake over the path, through stands of tall shrubbery, and duck under low branches. Although I weigh little, my feet propel me along and my heels leave prints in the damp soil. I laugh with the sheer joy of running, not toward trouble, not away from danger, not from necessity. Just running. River’s footfalls thunder behind as I shoot over a wooden bridge which spans a narrow stream.
I slow down, turn and jog backward. “Is that your best? What have you got in your veins - lead?”
His mouth crunches. Sweat slicks his face and his breath comes out in puffs.
I about-face and continue on, but not as fast. Up a hill mainly soil and gravel with a few grass tussocks, down the other side.
River hits me from behind. We go down and roll in a tangle of limbs. River’s arms are around my hips, both of us full flesh and heavy. He hauls himself on top of me and pins me to the ground.
I hump my back to push him off. With arms and legs splayed, we lie near the same stream we crossed earlier. The sound of water burbling over rocks and shushing on the bank is barely audible over our heavy panting.
“You did it.” He must have lost flesh to gain on me.
“Do I get a reward?”
“Sure.” I roll my head to face the stream and grin. “You get to learn how much weight you need to lift one of those big rocks.”
River chuckles to himself as we walk home.
“What’s funny?”
“Every time you talk about dropping flesh, I half-expect to see little meaty gobbets on the ground.”
I honk through my nose. “You’re joking, right?”
“Yeah,” he admits with a sly smile.
Calming, I say, “What we can do is remarkable by Upside reckoning. Here, we’re just another kind of person.” I remember the early sense of incredulity. “You’ll be surprised how quickly you take it for granted.”
“I don’t know if I ever will. I feel pretty amazing right now.”
“Think you’re special, huh?” I picture Castle’s squirming eyebrows. “Consider the humble caterpillar which becomes a butterfly.”
“But a butterfly can’t change back into a caterpillar.”
“Hm, you’re right. What about shapeshifters? They transform their bodies back and forth between beast and human forms.”
“There are shapeshifters here? They’re real?” Awe rocks him on his feet, then he curls his shoulders and smiles sheepishly. “You’re kidding.”
I give him a deliberately blank look. “Does this face look like I’m kidding? Remember what you’ve already seen. You fought vampires. Why do shapeshifters blow your mind?”
“They actually change from people … humans, into animals?”
“Faster than the eye can follow. But strictly speaking they’re not humans who turn into animals, or animals which turn into humans. They’re dual-natured beings who can assume either form.”
River’s face contorts into thoughtful lines. “It must happen on a molecular level. After all, everything’s made of atoms and plasma, right? They alter their molecules or cells or whatever.”
“While we kind of separate ours and push them away, pull them back in,” I reply thoughtfully. “Perhaps our bodies operate on a similar principle. But shifters can control their bodies Upside as well as here, while we can’t.” I squinch a shoulder. “Downside magic makes us what we are, River. It lets us disperse our body’s tissues and bring it back together again.”
“Scientists would go crazy trying to make sense of us.”
“I’d say their absence is a good thing. I don’t want to be a subject of scientific research. Do you?”
River tries to lose flesh entirely. He can’t. “Like I’m draining away. I feel sick.”
I remember the first time. “I know. But you’re trying to force it. Don’t. It’ll
happen when you need it, as you lost and gained when we were in the park when you got mad enough.” And that’s what did it for him; his inability made him angry. “It’s as if once your body learns a new ability, it links to your mind and after that you’re in control, you make it happen.”
But he doesn’t give up. Gritted teeth and a face going puce reflect his struggle. I roll my eyes. “Anyway, you want to be in motion.”
He’ll get it eventually.
The doorbell rings and River studies the door with a frown as though it has sprouted wings.
Clide peers through the peephole. I open the door a crack.
“Rain,” the big vampire says. His gaze flits past me to River. “Howdy. You must be the new boy. The name’s Clide.”
My gaze shifts from Clide to River. “He and Verity work for Alain Sauvageau.”
Clide waves two envelopes, but whips them away when I try to take them. “He wants to see you.”
My jaw sets. “Again? Another job?”
Clide grins lazily. “He didn’t confide in me.” He hands over an envelope. “From the boss.”
“Thanks.” He passes the other. “What’s this?”
“From Miss Verity. To show her appreciation.”
He steps back. “Are you coming or do I have to wrassle you from the street again?”
“I’ll be there.” I lift one hand and flicker the fingers. “Bye-bye.”
I shut the door gently, because I want to slam it and won’t give Clide the satisfaction of knowing I’m peeved.
“You’re angry with him.”
I stalk past River. “Not Clide. Sauvageau. He sends for me as if I’m his servant.”
“So.” He shrugs. “Don’t go.”
I sigh and hurl myself into the yellow chair. “You don’t say no to Alain Sauvageau.” The chair rotates so I lose sight of River for a moment. “Going is easier in the long run, else he’ll have someone escort me.”
“What does a vampire want from you?”
“Alain’s not a vampire.” I slap one foot on the floor to anchor the chair. “He prefers vampire henchmen.”
“Henchmen?” He paces a circle around me. “He’s a hoodlum?”
