by Lisa Jade
He digs in his rucksack for a moment before passing me a small, metal object. I stare at it for a moment. Sleek metal, thick rubber, and a number of straps form a familiar object – and immediately, I feel warmth flickering in my chest.
“A new gauntlet.”
“Yep. I found Nate’s old designs. I’m not as good with my hands as he is, but…”
I lock the little device over my arm. It’s strangely comforting to have it on, like a little sliver of home. Like I’m carrying Nate with me. We’ve still not found the bodies of those killed in the initial chaos, but we’ve held funerals anyway. I’d never been to one before. It was actually somewhat comforting to say goodbye – especially as I didn’t get to say it in time.
Jensen smiles broadly.
“You seem happy with it. I don’t know how durable it’ll be, though.”
“I’ll tell you myself when I come back in a few weeks.”
“Alright,” he teases, “as long as I still get to take you out for that drink.”
Discomfort squirms in me. He’s been asking about that for a while now, and each time something seems to come up. I still don’t have much interest in romance – I haven’t changed all that much - but as I meet those dark eyes in that handsome, intelligent face, I can’t bring myself to say no. A smile plays on my lips.
“That sounds nice.”
With that I turn away from Thorne, straddling my bike. Jay sits beside me, already on his – but as I roll up beside him, he shoots me a curious look.
“What was that about?”
I roll my eyes.
“Don’t even start with me, Jay. It’s not like I’m marrying the guy.”
“Hmm. Have you thought about what’s going to happen once we get there?”
I consider this. All he’s doing is overseeing the receipt of Mill workers from the docks. We don’t really have to get involved; we just have to be patient and understanding, and answer questions where we can. We’re finally bringing the Mill workers back. Several thousand citizens are working to set up places to live and clearing farmland around the city; within a few months, everyone will finally be reunited.
But I’m not stupid. Just as I didn’t easily adapt to my new life, neither will they. I’m expecting a lot of anger from those who’ve been ripped from their homes, plenty of sadness at the lives they’ve been forced to leave behind, and a great deal of doubt when we tell them what happened. If it had happened during my time at the Mill, I wouldn’t have believed it either. I’d have felt betrayed and furious at being pulled away from all I’ve ever known.
That’s why I’m going with him. Maybe if they hear the truth from someone like me, it’ll be easier. Perhaps I’ll be seen as a little more approachable. The notion is almost laughable. Approachable isn’t exactly how I’d describe myself; if anything, this whole debacle has left me saltier and more sarcastic than ever. Still, I have to try.
“It won’t be easy,” I mutter, “but we can do this, right?”
“I’m not worried about that.”
“Then what?”
“Are you sure you want to be introduced as Noah?”
I click my tongue at that, irritation flaring. Jay’s been hinting for a little while now that I should use Ada, rather than my chosen name. I can see why – things are changing and he wants to feel some semblance of normality. But I can’t do it. Using that little girl’s name would be like finally connecting the two of us together, and though he claims otherwise, I feel like that would cancel out everything we’ve been through. Like nothing ever happened.
“What’s wrong with Noah?” I ask, venom in my voice.
He shoots me a sheepish smile.
“Nothing at all… but you do realise Noah’s a boy’s name, right?”
I poke out my tongue – he reaches out for it, but I pull it back at the last second.
“You do realise that Jay’s just a letter, right? Hypocrite.”
He laughs at that. The sound is wonderful.
“Fine, fine. Come on then. Let’s head out.”
We reach the Dock rather quickly. I’m more than happy to hop off the bike, which is now scorching hot under my touch. Perhaps the journey’s a little too long for such a small vehicle. I tug off my helmet and toss it aside. It isn’t really necessary on a long, straight road, and yet Jay insists we use them. Personally, I find his newfound protective streak to be hilarious.
The Docks are busy; much busier than I’ve ever seen them before. The Guards were removed from their posts several days ago and taken into the city to await trial. Now the boats are being used to ferry people, animals, and supplies across to the mainland. I cast a nervous glance at the crowd of people heading towards Thorne. They’re waiting for more trucks, to be loaded in and taken back to their homes and families – not that they know it yet. Their faces are grey and sunken, but there’s an unmistakable tinge of fear as they gaze into the distance. They pull together, moving as one, an unending, hundreds-deep crowd trudging hesitantly towards their new home. Several drag carts or animals behind them, and still others carry rakes, hoes and shovels, as if they had no chance to prepare before coming here.
Atlas soars overhead, scanning the crowd curiously.
Jay steps up beside me, his face a picture of dismay. I don’t think that even he imagined the sheer numbers that would be heading back from the Mill. He draws his lips into a glum smile; but I fire back with a genuine one.
“It’s alright,” I tell him, “it’ll be okay.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“Trust me. This is just the first group, remember? There are more to come, so we’d better get used to it.”
He nods curtly, turning his attention back to the crowd. They shoot us the occasional nervous look, but seem too afraid to approach. I don’t blame them. I’d have kept my head down, too. Jay sighs.
“I don’t even know where to start. What about you? Recognise anyone?”
I move to shake my head – but something catches my eye. A single, bold colour in the midst of the crowd. Someone’s patchily-shaved head bobs in the chaos, a glowing shade of orange. My chest swells with excitement.
It can’t be.
Suddenly I’m darting through the masses, worming my way through the crush of bodies around me. It probably isn’t her. The chances are slim to none, but still…
Jay calls after me, but I ignore him. He’ll understand once I tell him what I’ve seen. What that little dot of orange means. I break into a momentary clearing, and there she is. Patches of carrot-coloured hair, a long nose. Dark, pretty eyes meet my gaze.
Nel stares at me, her face blank. For a second, I worry she might have forgotten me. Heaven knows I haven’t forgotten her. Even with everything that’s happened, I’ve been so worried.
But then there’s a glimmer of recognition, and her lips part in shock.
“…Noah? W-where have you been?!”
I stand breathless, delight filling me. She’s here. Nel – my Nel – right here in front of me. The weight of the past few months is suddenly lifted in her presence, but curiosity is still apparent in her eyes.
Finally, I can tell her everything. About Kane and Darus and Pan and Jay. I can tell her all the places I’ve been and all the horrible, wonderful, chaotic things I’ve done since last we met. And with Nel by my side, any trace of fear left in my chest fades. I’m not afraid anymore.
I take a deep breath and smile.
