by Katie Ginger
Nell giggled but kept her eyes closed. ‘You do this with your mums? Don’t their husbands mind?’
‘I told you I want to try something and you’re normally the one away with the fairies so keep those eyes closed.’ She did as she was told and Cat’s low, relaxing voice continued. ‘You’re standing on the beach and he comes towards you. He’s walking slowly, smiling.’ Nell felt the corners of her mouth mirroring the imaginary smile. ‘He gets closer and closer until he’s right in front of you. Don’t look at his face yet. Then he wraps his arms around you and kisses you.’
With burning cheeks, Nell’s breath hitched in her throat. The kiss was intense, full of love everlasting but there was excitement and passion there too. ‘Now, without opening your eyes describe him to me.’
‘He’s got lovely hair the colour of sand. It’s longish, but not girly. And he’s got gorgeous eyes with a few crow’s feet at the side that make him look distinguished and when he smiles little frown lines appear on his forehead.’ As realisation dawned, Nell gasped. ‘It’s Tom! Oh my gosh, Cat! He looks like Tom.’
Cat sat back, full of satisfaction. ‘Looks like Tom or is Tom?’
‘It is Tom.’ Nell’s mouth fell open as it suddenly dawned on her how much she loved her friend and how she loved him.
All those times she’d felt weird when he had a girlfriend. It wasn’t concern that they weren’t right for him, it was jealousy. The little moments they had together, like when they nearly fell after he’d called Tracey to organise the wreath-making. She’d known her life was at a crossroads but had thought it was all down to the business, but it hadn’t been. It had been her feelings for Tom changing too. Maybe as she’d started facing the reality of her business failing, she’d been forced to live in the real world and leave the daydreams behind. It had been the catalyst for her to see things as they really were. Letting go of the ridiculous expectations she had of how things should feel and how things should be, had allowed her to open her heart for Tom. He’d always been there at the centre of her heart. Always. Only the timing had never been right for her to notice. Was that why he didn’t propose to the last one? They’d all been so sure he would.
‘What’s going on here then?’ asked Harry, striding into the dining room where the girls were sitting. He pulled up a chair, grabbed some scissors, and began cutting out a snowflake.
Nell didn’t know how much he’d seen or heard, but strangely she didn’t care. She didn’t care what he knew or thought because as handsome as he was, he wasn’t the one for her. She knew that now. All her made-up scenarios were just that – made up. They weren’t real and her feelings for him had been entirely imagined. It was as if a winter wind had blown through Holly Lodge, taking her flights of fancy with it. Nell realised that her previous relationships hadn’t lasted not because the romance had died away but because they just weren’t meant to be. They weren’t anything compared to what she felt for Tom. It was time to gain control of her imagination.
Nell turned to him and said, ‘We’re setting up for the mayor’s party and needed to finish off some more snowflakes. They’re going to hang from the ceiling at different heights, so we create a winter wonderland.’
‘Sounds amazing.’ His eyes flickered but Nell’s heart failed to flutter.
‘Oh, and anyone from the hotel is welcome to come. So, if you’re at a loose end tonight, feel free to come down and join us.’
‘I might just do that,’ he said with a glance that before would have caused a wobble in her kneecaps. This time she admired the rugged set of his features, but it was nothing more than an aesthetic evaluation. ‘So, listen, Nell, it turns out I’m flying back on Monday.’
‘Oh, okay,’ Nell replied and again, found that her heart didn’t stir even once. No feeling of longing had gripped her, no sense of loss inspired by an imagined teary goodbye. Her heart didn’t belong to Harry or anyone else. The only concern she had was that the hotel would then be empty. It would be full next weekend with Cat’s wedding, but she really needed some midweek bookings to get enough money to pay the month’s wages. ‘I hope you’ve enjoyed your stay. I’ll get your bill all prepared. It’s been lovely having you here.’
‘And you are the best hostess in the world,’ he replied, standing up and giving her a kiss on the cheek. ‘Have fun tonight.’ Harry left, leaving his star half-cut.
Once he’d gone, Nell resumed her cutting and Cat said, ‘That settles it, you know.’
‘What does?’
‘Harry might as well have been a tiny old fat man for all the dreamy eyes you gave him. It shows that you are well and truly in love with Tom. And that soppy grin tells me so too.’
Her heart fluttered uncontrollably at the thought of him. ‘But what do I do now?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Do I tell him or not?’ Nell peered over the top of her scissors and Cat stared back, distinctly unimpressed.
‘Of course you tell him. Why wouldn’t you? Especially as you already know he feels the same way. You’re not going to get rejected. It’s a hundred per cent guaranteed love.’
‘I don’t know.’ While she had the assurance that he had feelings for her, she didn’t know if she was brave enough to make the first move and tell him so. Could she? It was the twenty-first century, she reminded herself. All she had to say was one or two short sentences, she could manage that. They’d be out and over within a few seconds.
‘You could do it tonight,’ Cat suggested. ‘At the party.’
Tom had arranged for the party to be here, and something felt right about doing it tonight in the middle of the winter wonderland they were creating together. Their very own winter wonderland here at Holly Lodge. Nell glanced at Cat. ‘I will. I’m going to. I’m going to say it. I’m going to say, “Tom, Kieran told me you have feelings for me, and I love you too.”’
With a squeal Cat jumped up from her seat, Nell jumped up from hers and they hugged each other until she could barely breathe. Then Cat’s expression became deadly serious. ‘But do me a favour?’
‘What?’ Nell asked, slightly worried by her gaze.
‘Change out of that horrendous shapeless jumper?’
Nell rolled her eyes. ‘I was going to wear something slightly more glitzy to the party.’
‘Good. Because seriously, that jumper makes you look like a bright red sack of potatoes.’
‘Remind me again why you’re my best friend?’
Tapping her chin with her index finger, Cat pretended to think of a reason. ‘Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because I helped you realise you’re in love with Tom?’
‘Okay I’ll give you that one.’ A huge smile filled Nell’s face and her heart throbbed in her chest.
As the fire roared in the grate and the smell of Christmas surrounded her, Nell thought of all the great romcom endings she loved. For all the ones where the guy finally confesses his love, she always loved the ones where the woman said it first. There was no way the night couldn’t be magical because tonight, she was going to leave the daydreams behind and embrace a real life with the wonderful man who loved her.
Chapter 20
The rest of the day passed incredibly quickly. Cat and Nell had left only a few chairs in the lounge and a few tables at the side of the dining room to be used for snacks and bowls of Christmas punch. She’d folded bright white tablecloths over them, sprinkled on silver glitter and wound lights around the edge, and all she needed were Tom’s garlands to continue the Narnia-like feel. A bar had been set up in the conservatory and she’d hired a barman who’d be arriving later.
Hearing Tom’s voice resonate through the hall, Nell jumped and turned to Cat in panic. For some reason, she brushed down her jumper and retied her hair in a ponytail. Pointless really, because Tom had seen her in far worse states than this. ‘Hi,’ she said with a strange little wave, her voice unusually high and squeaky. Seeing his face with fresh eyes and a heart that finally knew itself, she realised just how attractive he was. It was almost
as if, because they’d begun as friends, she’d taken his face and personality for granted. Seeing him now sent a shock through her that tingled her fingers.
‘Hey,’ Kieran replied, giving Tom the side eye. The weight of the world seemed to be pressing on Tom’s shoulders and his eyes were tired and dark.
‘Hey, Tom,’ Nell said again. Even saying his name felt different on her tongue. In his arms he carried the beautiful arches he’d created with fir branches, baubles, tinsel and strategically placed bits of holly because they didn’t want to stab anyone.
Finally, Tom realised she’d been speaking to him. ‘Hey, you. You okay? Nervous?’
‘Yeah, really nervous.’ She brushed her hair behind her ear.
She felt like an awkward teenager. Her world had shifted like a tectonic plate causing an earthquake. His face seemed different tonight. She saw his kind eyes that now held her spellbound; hair the colour of wet sand that she’d never thought about running her fingers through and now couldn’t think of anything else; a smile that she’d seen a million times but now started a fire in her belly. How had she not seen him for so long?
‘It’s going to be fine,’ he said, nudging her and together they began to decorate Holly Lodge.
But as the day moved on, even with Christmas bells ringing out through the music, and the taste of sugar and spice to keep them going, something was clearly off. Nell had tried to be normal around Tom and he’d been his usual self, but he’d been overly cheerful and somewhat preoccupied. Once everything was done, the boys used one of the hotel rooms to change in and Nell and Cat used her flat.
‘There,’ Cat said, pinning Nell’s hair up and fiddling with a little bit so it curled down. She stood back and placed her hands on Nell’s shoulders before kissing the top of her head. ‘You look gorgeous.’
Nell had given herself a swipe of red lipstick to go with her silvery, long-sleeved maxi dress and high heels. Standing up, she took a moment to enjoy the feel of the dress as it swished around her ankles. Cat looked super chic in black, wide-legged trousers and a cute, black wrap-top. When she stood back with her hands in her pockets, she looked like a model with her long pastel-pink hair hanging loose about her face. ‘I can’t believe your mum wanted you to wear that awful shapewear stuff. You look amazing just as you are.’
‘Wants, not wanted. She’s still going on about it and the dress she’s hoofed me into isn’t exactly forgiving. But let’s not talk about it tonight, okay? Tom and Kieran are waiting upstairs, and tonight is a special one for you.’
The sudden thump of loud music pounded on the ceiling and the deep base note of a classic Christmas bop-along summoned them upstairs. Nell’s stomach fizzed with excitement. Tonight was definitely the night to tell Tom how she felt. Everything about it felt right and that enchanting Christmas magic was in the air. Mr Scrooge was asleep on her bed having had an extra-large meal of cat food and Nell could hear him purring in his sleep. With a quick tickle behind his ear, she said, ‘Let’s go then. I don’t know about you, but I’m super excited.’
They exited the flat and walked through the kitchen. Niall was there, putting the finishing touches to an array of buffet food and classic Christmas treats. The steel surfaces were covered in all manner of delights: platters of salmon blinis, tiny puff pastry cheese bites, cocktail sausages in different sauces. There were Christmas-tree-shaped cookies, mince pies with pastry snowflakes on top, platters of truffles and piles of profiteroles. He looked up from adding fiddly bits of gold leaf onto some truffles.
‘Ladies, you look gorgeous. I hope you’ll save me a dance later.’ He winked at them, but having worked with him for a while now, Nell knew he was just friendly and not flirting.
‘If you’re lucky,’ Cat replied and stole a truffle from one of the plates giving Niall a wink as she did so. All Nell’s feelings of ease and assurance began to fade. Niall laughed and went back to placing on the gold leaf, while Nell shuffled Cat out of the kitchen. Hopefully, she was just being friendly back.
As they climbed the stairs, Nell saw Tom at the top. He had a suit on, which wasn’t like him at all, but it fitted his tall frame well. He was standing with his hands in his pockets, chatting to Kieran. When his eyes fell on Nell, her heart fluttered like a butterfly fighting a strong breeze as he gave her a comedy double-take. She climbed the last few steps but at the very top the long skirt caught, and she crashed forwards headfirst into Tom’s chest.
‘Ooomph!’ Tom exclaimed as she collided into him. ‘Steady there.’
‘It’s these bloody shoes.’ She righted herself and looked down at the sweet silver T-bar heels she’d chosen. They were striking, but having got used to running around in trainers all the time, she’d forgotten how hard heels were to walk in. Tom laughed and she felt herself blush. ‘Not very elegant, am I? And I bet I’ve ruined my hair.’ She patted the pretty up-do Cat had done for her and it seemed to be mostly in place. Instantly, as Tom stared down at her, she realised that his hand was around her waist. Before, she wouldn’t have given it a second thought, but now it was like all her nerves were on fire. Where it lay felt suddenly very sensual and she was sure once more that she didn’t want anyone else’s hand to ever take its place. She looked back at Tom, hoping for a sign that she could press on and tell him she felt the same way, then his hand dropped.
‘I’m just going to check the archways are still intact.’ And he walked away back into the dining room.
Cat turned to Nell in confusion and Kieran quickly headed into the dining room after him. A cold shiver ran over Nell unsure what to make of his sudden departure but, glancing at her watch, she realised she didn’t have time to linger, there were final preparations to make.
Linda, the mayor, and her husband, Arnold, along with a large group of councillors all arrived. Nell welcomed them and enjoyed their gasps of surprise as they walked into the transformed ground floor of Holly Lodge.
As they went into the dining room it was like entering a different world. White and silver paper snowflakes hung from the ceilings on silver ribbons, stars were pinned to the walls and everywhere was like a true winter wonderland. In the lounge, framed by a beautiful snowy woodland archway, was the Christmas tree, and throughout the ground floor into the conservatory were smaller potted fir trees. They’d been left plain, and the vibrant green leaves and heady scent of pine added to the wonderland theme. Along the bottoms of the walls were strings of fairy lights and the room glittered and sparkled. ‘Oh, Nell,’ Linda, the mayor exclaimed, hand on heart. ‘This is just lovely.’
Arnold, her husband, helped himself to some of Niall’s special Christmas punch that sat in giant glass bowls on the table between pots of traditional candy canes. Arnold took two and hooked them into his mouth like giant fangs then tapped Kieran, who was facing the other way, on the shoulder. Kieran turned and though not impressed, gave an indulgent laugh.
‘Excuse me a moment,’ Linda said and walked to her husband. Nell stifled a giggle as Arnold then did the same to one of the councillors and Linda hit him with her clutch bag.
The music filled Nell’s soul and she began to sway with the rhythm. ‘Is it what you wanted?’ Nell asked once Linda had come back. ‘I mean, I know it’s not as grand as the Langdon Mansion but—’
‘Nell,’ Linda said, taking her arm. ‘It’s wonderful. It’s even better than the Langdon Mansion because this is what Swallowtail Bay is all about. You’ve hosted so many local events this Christmas that have made a difference to our community. St Herbert’s would have had to cancel if it wasn’t for you, and those old folks at the care home so enjoyed their day.’
With her kind words, Nell finally started to relax as another councillor came over to congratulate Linda on her choice of venue and then both slipped away to grab a drink. The night began in a clatter of music, dancing, laughter and enjoyment. Nell hadn’t felt so happy, so light and so free in a long time. If she could host events like this on such short notice, and if the weddings took off, there was every chance th
e hotel would be fine. In the corner, she found Tom and Kieran sharing a joke, but Kieran was laughing more than Tom who still seemed distracted and tense. ‘Hey, guys. Having fun?’
Tom’s eyes flashed over her, and it sent a thrill through her body, but then his face clouded again. It was almost undetectable, just a change in the brightness of his eyes, but she spotted it. ‘Yeah. The place looks good.’
‘Do you want to get something to eat?’ she asked Tom, hoping to get him on his own.
‘No thanks.’
‘Oh, right.’
‘I’m just umm … going to get another drink.’ Tom walked away, leaving Nell hurt and confused. She glanced at Kieran who nervously shuffled after him. That was without doubt the shortest conversation they’d ever had. Had she said something wrong? Done something wrong? Offended him in some way? Maybe he had another headache. Cat was suddenly at her side, happy and jiggling about.
‘Come and dance, Nell.’ She dragged her onto the dance floor.
They wiggled away to another classic Christmas song, though she noticed the way Cat glanced at Niall when he came to top up the food and punch. Nell didn’t know how much Cat had drunk but she was already sailing firmly towards tiddly. After a bit of a boogie, Nell’s feet were killing her when Niall brought up another plate of nibbles and Cat left her on the dance floor alone to go and get some.
‘She’s really enjoying herself, isn’t she?’ said Kieran, suddenly appearing at Nell’s shoulder, but underneath the happiness there was an unease, and she worried where this conversation was heading.
‘She is. It’s nice to see. I think it’s being away from Brenda.’ But not far enough away from Niall, she thought as Cat sidled over and chatted to him while he filled up the snacks. Nell hoped she was just being pleasant, maybe trying to set the relationship right after the flirtatious start. If Cat was drawing some boundaries, that could only be a good thing, but the way she touched his arm was like a warning flare going off in her mind.
