“Do you want him to quit the force?”
“No.”
“Then marry him.”
“But…”
“I didn’t raise a doormat, Beulah Virginia.” Vicki winced at her Mama’s raised voice and held the phone away from her ear. “If you want this man, you tell him to marry you or get the hell out. I love you. Come home as soon as you can.”
“I love you too, Mama.”
Jesse came to the doorway. The paleness of his face rocked her off her feet, the world crumbling beneath her into an abyss. “Something’s up—I’ve got to go.”
“Call me, honey.”
“I will. Bye.” She went to Jesse and he took both her hands in his even though she still held the phone. “What’s wrong?”
“Did you ever reach Elias?”
She shook her head. Her heart pounded, her head so light it was going to float away like a balloon. Her knees trembled. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
“I just heard the news. A cop…” Jesse hesitated and he gripped her hands so hard the plastic casing on the phone popped. “They were clearing out a known drug house and a cop was shot. He…died.”
“Oh dear Jesus.” She jerked her hands free and dialed Elias’s number again. Her fingers were so cold and numb that she got it wrong and had to cancel the call, cursing the whole time. “Damn it, Elias, you’d better answer the phone. Answer it, damn it!”
Tears blurred her vision. His voicemail. Again. She squeezed the phone, fighting back the hysterics. Sobbing and wailing wouldn’t help anyone, least of all Elias. He’s not dead. He’s fine. He’s just pissed off at me.
But he’d never let her calls roll to voicemail like this.
Biting her lip so hard she tasted blood, she raced over to the fridge and found his partner’s number. The phone rang twice, three times, and she was crying, her shoulders shaking. She nearly sank to the floor, but Jesse was there, holding her, keeping her on her feet. Dear God, Elias. He couldn’t be gone.
“Hello.” Colby finally answered. By the wariness in his voice, he knew exactly who’d called.
“Is Elias dead?”
“What? No. Of course not.”
“We heard the news. A cop died on a drug bust, and he won’t answer the phone. Colby, don’t lie to me. I need to know if he’s okay.”
“Vicki, no, I wouldn’t lie to you. Hold on.”
She heard low voices and the static of the radio. Was that Elias’s voice? She couldn’t be sure. It was too muffled. That son of a bitch. If he was sitting there, too afraid to get on the phone and deal with her himself…
She yelled into the phone. “Is Elias dead? Damn it, he’d better be dead if he won’t answer his phone. He’d better be lying dead in the street with a crater blown in his skull to scare me like this. I’ve been calling him all day and then hear that a cop is dead and he won’t answer his fucking phone?”
“Vicki, it’s me. I’m fine.”
Elias. She dropped her head against the fridge and sank farther into Jesse’s embrace, letting him take all her weight. “I thought you were dead. I thought they killed you.”
“I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t know the news had broken already or I would have answered. I just didn’t think.”
“You didn’t want to talk to me,” she replied in a flat, dead voice. “Fine. I get it. You don’t have the balls to talk to me. You don’t love me enough to work things out. That’s okay. I was wrong, I guess. I was wrong about everything.”
He started to say something but she disconnected the call and let the phone drop to the floor. It hit so hard the back popped off and the battery skidded across the floor, but she left it. She didn’t care.
Jesse tucked his face close to hers. “What can I do? How can I help?”
She straightened, squared her shoulders, lifted her chin, and grabbed a tissue to blow her nose. Then she smiled at him, although it was a weary one tinged in sadness. “Put those brownies in the oven for me?”
“You got it.”
“Then we’re going to watch every zombie movie known to man.”
“Sign me up for that too.” Jesse scraped the batter into the greased pan and slid the brownies into the oven. “I’m always up for a good zombie flick.”
“Good is debatable, but I love them anyway.”
He came to her, his hair loose about his face, his gorgeous eyes somber. Her heart hurt just looking at him, but it was a good pain. He was wearing his ratty old jeans again. If she checked his pockets, she’d probably find small bills crumbled up in each one, and the rest spread out in his bag, which she’d noticed at the door this morning. In case he had to make a run for it. She knew without checking that she’d find all the clothes she’d bought for him downstairs in the closet.
He’d gained back his normal weight, but his jeans still rode low on his hips, especially with his hands shoved down in the pockets. He didn’t say anything, but she read his doubt in the way his shoulders hunched and he kept his eyes downcast. He still couldn’t believe she hadn’t kicked him out to bring Elias home.
She reached around him, sliding her hand around his waist and down into his jeans to grip his buttock, digging her fingers into his flesh like he…she…enjoyed the most. “You’re mine, Jesse. Nobody is taking you away from me. Not even Elias.”
At three a.m. Elias sat outside Vicki’s apartment in his truck, took another swig of Jack straight from the bottle, and called himself a pussy. He’d been sitting out here drinking for half an hour, and still hadn’t found the nerve to go up and see if she’d let him in. Oh, sure, he could use his key, but that would feel too much like sneaking.
Maybe she’d changed the locks. She’d been pissed enough to do something like that, and for good reason.
He’d never been so petty to hurt a woman he cared about like that before. Thinking about how scared she must have been to hear about a dead cop and then get his voicemail made him feel like dog crap. He’s sworn to his first wife that he’d always answer the phone. Even if he was in the middle of handcuffing some dirtbag, he’d plant a knee in the perp’s back and take her call. She’d still divorced his ass.
What the hell will Vicki do to me?
Rightfully so too. He deserved the biggest ass-chewing she’d ever thought about giving him. He’d left her. Again. He’d hurt her. Again. Then he’d scared ten years off her life. Now he sat out here too scared to go up and face the music.
No, that wasn’t true. He’d always been able to deal with her temper. In fact, nothing turned him on more than watching her rip into him, teeth, fists, words, it didn’t matter. He loved it.
No, what scared the shit out of him was the thought of finding her in bed with Jesse. Maybe this time they wouldn’t be asleep. He’d catch them in the act and he’d…he’d…
What, blow the kid’s brains out? She loved Jesse. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t even her fault. Elias saw the way she looked at the kid, because he looked at her the same way. He’d do anything to be with her, wouldn’t he?
Even join them?
Yeah, that’s what made his stomach churn uneasily. Whiskey burned a hole in his stomach. He just didn’t know if he could do it. What it would entail. How would it feel to see her with another man, the passion on her face, and know it wasn’t for him? That’s what it came down to, wasn’t it? His pride. His fear that maybe she secretly wanted Jesse more. Maybe he pleased her more. Hell, he hadn’t even known that she might like the kinkier shit.
Maybe someday she’d decide she didn’t really need Elias after all.
Much safer to walk now than to want and need her so bad and know he wasn’t enough.
He reached for the keys to turn the engine on, but let his hand fall back into his lap. He’d sat here too long with the bottle to even think about driving. That’s the last thing he needed. He could see the headlines now: Drunk cop runs down helpless old lady in the street.
He wasn’t drunk, not by a long shot. Because if he were drunk, maybe he wouldn’t car
e if she screamed the same way for Jesse that she did when he was inside her.
A flicker of movement drew his gaze up to the window. Her face, her hands pressed against the glass. Instinctively he scrunched back in his seat, but she couldn’t see his truck, let alone him. He’d always been careful to park in the shadows, untouched by the streetlights when he came to stand watch outside her door.
She looked up and down the street and turned away. Warmth spread in his gut that absolutely nothing to do with whiskey. She’d been looking for him. Hoping that maybe he’d come, even though they’d such a horrible argument. Even though she’d hung up on him and refused to answer his calls the rest of the day. She had a good-looking, young cabana boy in her bed more than willing to do absolutely anything she asked.
Yet she was looking for me.
He got out of the truck and shut the door as quietly as possible. He still felt like a slinking hyena as he crept up the stairs and silently unlocked her door, but he held that vision of her at the window in his mind. All the lights were off but she’d left the television on. Blankets were tumbled about on the couch. She must have spent the day watching movies. Hopefully she hadn’t been daydreaming about slicing him up like those killer zombies.
He kicked off his shoes and tiptoed toward her bedroom. The door was open. She wasn’t trying to hide anything. She hadn’t placed homemade tripwires or secretly moved any furniture into his path, hoping the crash would alert her of his approach. Still, he hesitated at the door, just to the side of the blackness within, gathering his courage. He didn’t hear anything. No low moans, no sweet whispers, no thudding of flesh on flesh. No matter what he saw in her bed, he silently resolved not to leave. Not this time.
I’ll take my punishment like a man.
Boldly, he stepped into her bedroom and stood in the dim moonlight leaking through the blinds on the window. Jesse was flat on his stomach, asleep, his face buried in Vicki’s pillow. Elias’s pillow was twisted sideways, a dented, misshapen lump that looked like she’d been using it to beat somebody. But his side of the bed was empty.
He whipped his head around just in time to catch a glimpse of her flying out of the bathroom. She crashed into him and wrapped her arms so tightly he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t need to breathe. Not with her in his arms.
“Elias,” she whispered in between fervent kisses over his face and throat. “Elias. I thought I’d lost you.”
“I’m here, babe, and I’m not going anywhere this time.”
She jerked open his pants. “Prove it.”
Ah, his Vik, always the brash and bold one. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her to his side of the bed. He laid them both down as gently as possible, because the last thing he wanted right now was to deal with her other man.
Now that he had her beneath him, he could only stare down into her face, her large eyes, luminescent in the moonlight. “I’m sorry, babe. So sorry. I thought I could deal with it, no problem, but I was wrong.”
“You need time. I understand.” She unbuttoned his shirt and pushed her hands beneath to stroke his back, pulling him closer into the cradle of her thighs. “I’m asking a lot of you. Maybe too much.”
“No. Not too much. Because…” He looked into her eyes, letting her see the depth of his need, how stark raving mad it had made him to think of losing her. “I love you, Vicki Connagher.”
She smiled tremulously, but there was nothing hesitant about her hand slipping inside his pants as she worked his cock free. “Then make love to me, Detective Reyes.”
He stole a sideways glance at the other man beside them. “I’ve never seen a street person sleep like he does. It’s a miracle he lived long enough to find you, babe.”
Jesse lifted his head and met his gaze warily, like a doe stepping into rush-hour traffic on the freeway. “You never sleep on the street, not really. But here…”
The kid’s gaze said it all: She makes me feel safe.
Elias nodded. “Yeah, she does that to me too.”
“She—” Vicki dug her nails into his back and squirmed against him, trying to get him to slide home. “Has no idea what you’re talking about, but I’m pretty sure she needs you very badly.”
In a low, small voice, Jesse asked, “Do you want me to leave?”
Elias glanced back at him and then down into Vicki’s face. She didn’t answer. She waited for his response. Yeah, he’d like to kick the kid out of her bed, house and life. But that wasn’t happening, because she’d have a hole in her heart the same size as the hole she’d leave in Elias’s heart if he lost her.
“No,” he finally said in a rough voice. The tips of his ears burned so hot he was sure his entire body had burst into flame. “But I’m not into men, okay?”
“Okay.” Jesse managed to make himself even smaller in the bed, withdrawing to the very edge. “I’m not either, when I have the choice.”
Vicki wrapped her legs around Elias’s waist and pressed her lips to his ear. “Thank you.”
He thrust deep and closed his eyes, simply feeling the heat and warmth of her wrapped around him. This was home. Not the force, not his partner, not his dump of an apartment he’d called home for the last ten years.
Vicki made everything else in his life bearable. She brought light into the filth and horror he saw on the streets every single day. He could imagine all too well the foulness that Jesse had lived through to come home.
Home to her. To us.
Chapter Nineteen
Afraid to move and draw the cop’s attention back to him, Jesse lay flat on his stomach and tried to ignore the uncomfortable throb of his erection smashed against the mattress. He did keep his head turned so he could watch. The cop hadn’t forbidden watching.
For awhile, Elias simply lay on top of Vicki, giving her his full weight, pressing her deep enough into the mattress that it would have been really easy for Jesse to accidentally on purpose tumble against them. He gripped the fitted sheet harder, both to resist temptation and to give his hands something to do besides reach down and stroke himself. She hadn’t told him what to do, whether he could enjoy her pleasure or not. Could he listen to her cries and not come? He didn’t think so, but he was terrified of what the cop might do to him.
It was one thing to make love to her while Jesse watched. Elias surely wouldn’t care to see him come all over her sheets.
Damn, the cop had big hands. He stroked those big palms up and down Vicki’s arms, her sides, up her hip to shift her wider for him. She loved those hands too, arching and purring at his touch. Elias wasn’t a big man, no bigger than Jesse in fact, but he carried himself like a giant. When he thrust deep, she arched her back and groaned, and Jesse had to bite down on his lip to keep from groaning with her. Elias shifted up on his knees slightly, giving himself better leverage, and he began to hammer inside her like he was determined to break her open and look for candy.
She raked her nails down his back hard enough Jesse could see the lines in the man’s flesh. His own skin prickled, aching for her to do that to him. Maybe once the cop was more comfortable with him around, he could ask her to scratch him like that while the cop made love to her.
Elias let out a low chuckle and grabbed her wrists, tugging her arms over her head so she couldn’t scratch him. Oh, damn, she must hate that and love it at the same time, because she snarled at him, fighting to get her hands free. It was all Jesse could do not to open his mouth and beg for her to hold him down like that.
Gripping her hands above her head with his left hand, Elias slipped his other hand down to squeeze her breast. Jesse could almost feel the hardness of her nipple, the tempting softness of her flesh. He wanted to suck and lick, first one and then the other, endlessly. He could worship her for hours that way. Better yet…
Elias’s hand moved down between her thighs and Jesse had to bite his lip harder yet, but he couldn’t entirely stifle his moan.
Both of their heads turned toward him, one set of eyes smoldering with passion, the other’
s dark with rising fury. Jesse could see the shimmering tension in her body. Even though he’d accidentally interrupted them, she was still close to coming. Looking at him wasn’t helping, and she’d never forgive him if he ruined this make-up moment with Elias.
“No,” she said, her voice ringing with command.
Jesse squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. Damn, damn, he had to hold it. Fire burned and licked in his groin, need rumbling closer to eruption, but he had to contain it.
“What the hell was that all about?” Elias asked.
“I told him not to come.”
The cop’s eyes flared wide and he let out a low rumbling chuckle that made Jesse burn to plant his razor between Elias’s ribs. “Oh, yeah, I remember you telling me about that little arrangement. This is going to be fun, then.” He sat back on his heels, kneeling between her thighs. “Roll over, babe.”
For once, Vicki actually looked a little scared. “No, Elias, not that, really…”
“Come on, babe. Let’s give him a damn good show.” Suddenly magnanimous, he even managed to wink at Jesse. “You know he’ll love it.”
She shuddered and let out a delicious moan that made a drop of fluid leak from Jesse’s aching cock. Without a word, she rolled over, rose up on her knees, and buried her face in the crook of her arm.
Elias slid back inside, calm and easy. Confused, Jesse watched, braced for fireworks but nothing happened. What did she have against basic doggie-style?
Tugging her hips back farther, Elias subtly changed his thrust, pushing up higher, lifting her despite the resistance of his grip on her thighs. She tossed her head, moaning into her arm, and Jesse leaned closer, straining to see in the darkness.
Lowering his chest against her back, Elias gave her more weight, beginning to hold her down. Penning her. “Come on, Vik. I know you want to buck. Don’t make me dig my spurs into you.”
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