*
Sense of smell gone; sense of taste gone; eyesight impaired; hearing faltering; far from sans everything yet near enough to recognize the threat: Diana can face it all. What she cannot face is the terror of senility, the crumbling of the mind that is so much more dreadful than the body’s slow disintegration. In 1979 she flew to Strasbourg to help Paul Louis Weiller entertain the Queen Mother. She arrived at her hotel in mid morning, felt tired and rather ill and lay down to have a short rest. After, as it seemed, a few moments, she woke, dressed in her best Marks and Spencer frock and large straw hat and set off for luncheon. She found the other guests absurdly overdressed: did they imagine that they must wear long dresses in the middle of the day just because the Queen Mother was a fellow-guest? Looking out of the window she remarked how curiously dark it was. ‘Not really, for 8 p.m.,’ replied her neighbour. She had arrived, not late for luncheon, but in good time for dinner. ‘If I can do that, I can do anything,’ she concluded. She made a joke of it, elaborated it into one of her sagas, dined out on it for months; but there was real fear too. If she can do that, she can do anything.
Death she positively looks forward to; dying is another matter. To cease upon the midnight with no pain is an enticing prospect, but to cough your lungs out at five o’clock in the morning seems altogether less desirable. The arthritic C. B. Cochran had been scalded to death in his bath. Next door his wife heard his cries and thought affectionately what a boy Cocky was, singing in his bath at the age of seventy-nine. The image haunts Diana; it plagues her every time she has a bath. She is ready to die, but she wants to pick her own way.
To pick her own time too. If offered the most easeful death at midnight, her answer would be: ‘Thank you very much but would you please make it next Tuesday.’ She is still too concerned with life to welcome quick extinction. There is always a book she wants to finish; a friend to talk to; a party to attend, a play or opera to visit; John Julius is coming round for a drink; Artemis is expected back from America the day after tomorrow. Once, ill and dejected, she retreated to bed. Her grand-daughter went up to see how she was. ‘Artemis,’ she croaked weakly, ‘I think I’m going to die.’ ‘Oh, really,’ answered Artemis brightly. ‘When?’ Deciding it was hardly worth dying if that was the only reaction she aroused, Diana got out of bed and came down to dinner. Besides, there was a programme on television she did not want to miss. Tomorrow would be soon enough to contemplate the end.
Some would have pleaded for extra time to make their peace with God. Diana has no conviction of an after-life, no certainty that she will be on her way to see Duff again. Death will mean a cessation of pain; if it is also a beginning that will be a delightful bonus, but the prospect is not to be counted on. Thoughts of eternity preoccupy her not at all. She is wistfully envious of those with stronger faith, but no more believes that she can emulate them than that she can dance like Nureyev or sing like Chaliapin. She prays every night, but it is a childhood habit, never dropped for long but of little greater significance than brushing her teeth or turning on the light. Its principal value, indeed, is that of a soporific; sleep usually supervenes before she has completed her incantations. The framework of her prayers was taught her by Evelyn Waugh. ACTS is the magic word: A for Adoration; C for Contrition; T for Thanksgiving; S for Supplication:
A for Adoration. I can’t manage that at all. You need a lot of faith and I just haven’t been born with it. I have tried, but I’ve failed. I’m sorry, God, if you wanted me to adore you, you should have made me differently.
C for Contrition. That’s a wash-out too. Hilaire Belloc said the obstacle in my race to heaven was lack of remorse. I pray to God in my under-five way to give me remorse, but he never has. It’s not that I haven’t committed sins. I‘ve committed thousands, scarlet as anything – not that I think adultery really counts. But I don’t feel in the least sorry about any of them. I’m sorry, God, but it’s your fault again. I’m sorry I can’t feel sorry.
T for Thankfulness. This is where I really begin to score. It’s too easy. I can open the gates of thanksgiving for a start for the three people who most affected my life. Thank you, God, for my mother, for Duff and for John Julius. Thank you for all those I have loved and who have loved me. Raymond, Conrad, I don’t mention them by name, of course; it would be too hurtful if someone got left out. I know how lucky I have been in life and how much I have been given which other people haven’t had. Thank you, God, for giving me so much. He might have made a job of it while he was about it and let me off my depressions, but mustn’t grumble. Thank you for my friends. I’ve been so lucky in my friends.
S for Supplication. Of course for all and every one, the sincerest of all. First of all for John Julius; it goes on and on like an insurance policy. Protect, O protect him from crashes and hi-jacking and bombs and kidnapping and violence of all kinds. There’s a bit about the grandchildren and the rest of the family but it really concentrates on John Julius. Every time he goes on the motorway it’s two days of dread, two days to recover and come out in nervous spots. It’s dreadful to be so cowardly. Then there’s a prayer for the dead, singularly ill-formed, and a short prayer for Duff himself. I pray a little for myself. Take all my other senses if you must, O God; cripple me and deafen me; but please spare me what’s left of my sight. And please don’t let me have a stroke and become a vegetable.
You see how pathetically simple it is. In church I can’t pray at all. I think that’s really all there is to it. O no, there’s one more thing, if I’m still awake by then. Please, God, dear God, grant me an easy death and let it be quite soon.
NOTES ON SOURCES
The most valuable manuscript source has been Lady Diana Cooper’s own letters. The recipients have tended to preserve these and it has therefore been relatively easy to secure correspondence covering almost all her life. The three most substantial collections are those to her husband, her son and Conrad Russell. Her letters to members of her immediate family, her father and mother, her two sisters, Lady Violet Benson (formerly Lady Elcho) and the Marchioness of Anglesey, and her brother, the ninth Duke of Rutland, are also of particular interest. Other useful groups of letters are those written to Susan Mary Alsop, Raymond and Katharine Asquith, Maurice Baring, Sir Cecil Beaton, Lord Beaverbrook, Hilaire Belloc, Thomas Bouch, June Churchill, Lady Juliet Duff, Sir Rupert Hart-Davis, Edward Horner, Dr Rudolph Kommer, Patrick Leigh Fermor, Charles Lister, Lady McEwen, Venetia Montagu, Alan and Viola Parsons, Patrick Shaw-Stewart, Lord Vernon and Evelyn Waugh. Lady Diana kept almost every letter she received, and the other half of most of these correspondences is therefore also available.
Duff Cooper kept a diary for most of his life and this has yielded much valuable information. So also has his correspondence with many of those listed above. Letters exchanged between other members of the family, now preserved at Plas Newydd, are a useful source of material.
To list all those to whom I have spoken about Diana Cooper would be a pointless task. All those who have made significant contributions should be found in the Acknowledgements at the beginning of this book.
It would be equally inappropriate to list all the printed sources I have consulted. A few works can, however, be picked out for their especial importance. Pre-eminent are Lady Diana’s own three volumes of autobiography: The Rainbow Comes and Goes (1958), The Light of Common Day (1959) and Trumpets from the Steep (1960); and Duff Cooper’s autobiography Old Men Forget (1953). Others that should be mentioned are: Susan Mary Alsop, To Mariette from Paris (1975); Lady Cynthia Asquith, Diaries 1915–1918 (1968); Cecil Beaton, The Wandering Years, The Years Between, The Happy Years, The Strenuous Years, The Restless Years (1961–76); Chips: The Diaries of Sir Henry Channon, ed. Robert Rhodes James (1967); Daphne Fielding, Mercury Presides (1954); Rupert Hart-Davis, The Arms of Time (1979); Raimund von Hofmannsthal: A Rosenkavalier (1975), privately printed in Hamburg; John Jolliffe, Raymond Asquith: Life and Letters (1980); Nicholas Mosley, Julian Grenfell (1976); Viola Tree, Castles in the A
ir (1926); Evelyn Waugh, Diaries, ed, Michael Davie (1976) and Letters, ed. Mark Amory (1980).
INDEX
Abbott, George, 1
Abetz, Otto, 1
Admiralty House, 1, 2, 3
Aga Khan, Aga Sultan Sir Mahomed Shah, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Aldwick (near Bognor), 1, 2
Alexander, A. V. (1st Viscount), 1
Alexandra, Queen, 1
Alfonso XIII, King of Spain, 1
Algiers, 1, 2‚ 3
Alsop, Joseph, 1, 2, 3, 4
Alsop, Susan Mary (formerly Patten): relations with Duff, 1; in Paris, 1;
organizes charity ball, 1;
on Bevin, 1;
comforts Diana, 1, 2;
and Churchill, 1;
and Diana’s party, 1;
on Diana in Venice, 1;
and Duff’s death, 1;
and Diana in London, 1;
remarriage, 1;
and Diana in Washington, 1
Altrincham, Edward W. M. Grigg, 1st Baron, and Lady, 1
Altrincham, John E. P. Grigg, 2nd Baron (later John Grigg), 1
Amory, Derick Heathcoat (1st Viscount), 1
Ancaster, Gilbert Willoughby, 2nd Earl of, and Eloise, Countess, 1
Anderson, Ava, Lady (later Viscountess Waverley), 1, 2
Anderson, Sir John (later Viscount Waverley), 1, 2
Anglesey, Charles H. A. Paget, 6th Marquess of, 1, 2
Anglesey, Marjorie, Marchioness of (née Manners; Diana’s sister): on grandfather, 1; born, 1;
character, 1;
relations with sisters, 1;
childhood, 1;
depression, 1;
sketching, 1;
marriage, 1, 2, 3, 4;
on Diana in New York, 1;
and Diana in New Zealand, 1;
and John Julius, 1;
and Diana in Algiers, 1;
death, 1
Annunzio, Gabriele d’, 1
Anson, Sir Denis, 1, 2, 3; death, 1
Arens, Dr, 1
Arlington Street (London), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Arliss, George, 1
Armstrong, Hamilton Fisher, 1
Ashby (house), 1
Ashfield, Albert, 1st Baron, 1
Asquith family, 1
Asquith, Arthur, 1
Asquith, Lady Cynthia, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
Asquith, Cyril, 1
Asquith, Elizabeth, 1
Asquith, Emma Alice Margaret (Margot), Countess of Oxford and Asquith, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Asquith, Herbert (‘Beb’), 1
Asquith, Herbert Henry, 1st Earl of Oxford and Asquith, 1, 2, 3‚ 4, 5‚ 6‚ 7, 8‚ 9
Asquith, Katharine (née Horner): friendship with Diana, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7; in First War, 1;
and morphia, 1, 2;
on Edwin Montagu, 1;
and Montagus, 1;
and H. H. Asquith, 1;
and Diana’s relations with Raymond Asquith, 1, 2;
and brother’s wound, 1;
and Raymond’s death, 1;
and Diana’s love of stage, 1;
and Duff’s departure for front, 1;
plans nursing home, 1;
on Diana and Duff, 1;
and Diana in The Miracle, 1;
and Cruger, 1;
and Belloc on Diana as Madonna, 1;
and General Strike, 1;
and Diana’s baby, 1;
and Conrad Russell, 1, 2;
and Duff’s resignation, 1;
visits Bognor, 1;
and Diana’s request for black-market petrol, 1;
and John Julius’ marriage, 1;
and John Julius in Belgrade, 1;
and Artemis, 1;
nurses Ronald Knox, 1;
and Diana’s move from Chantilly, 1;
and Diana’s burglary, 1;
death, 1;
and Diana’s frailty, 1
Asquith, Raymond: friendship with Diana, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9; marriage, 1;
character, 1;
on Diana’s suitors, 1;
killed in First War, 1, 2;
and death of Anson, 1;
war service, 1;
and wife’s drug-taking, 1;
Diana’s attachment to, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 100;
Diana confides in, 1;
on Diana’s inhumanity, 1;
and Hallam’s death, 1;
and Diana’s love of stage, 1
Astier de la Vigerie, François P. R., Baron d’, 1
Astor, Michael, 1
Attlee, Clement, 1st Earl, 1, 2
Auric, Georges, 1
Australia, 1
Avon Tyrrell (house), 1, 2
Bach Choir, 1
Bagnold, Enid (Lady Jones), 1, 2‚ 3‚ 4‚ 5‚ 6
Baker, George, Sr., 1
Baldwin, A. Windham (‘Bloggs’), 1
Baldwin, Lucy, Viscountess, 1
Baldwin, Stanley, 1st Earl, 1, 2, 3
Balfour, Arthur James, 1st Earl, 1‚ 2‚ 3, 4
Bankhead, Tallulah, 1
Baring, Maurice, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7; Puppet Show of Memory, 1
Barnes, Ernest William, Bishop of Birmingham, 1
Barrymore, John, 1, 2, 3, 4
Battenberg, Beatrice, Princess of, 1
Beaton, Sir Cecil: friendship with Diana, 1, 2; describes Diana, 1;
on Dorchester Hotel in war, 1;
on Diana’s cow, 1;
and Paris Embassy, 1, 2, 3;
and Diana’s appearance, 1;
at Chantilly, 1;
on Waugh, 1;
on Diana and
friends, 1;
dresses Diana for Venice ball, 1;
and Duff’s death, 1;
visits Warwick Avenue, 1;
travels with Diana, 1;
death, 1
Beaudesert (house), 1, 2
Beaverbrook, William Maxwell Aitken, 1st Baron: on Diana’s father, 1; and Diana’s melancholy, 1;
generosity, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6;
and Venetia Montagu, 1, 2;
at Diana’s wedding, 1;
friendship with Diana, 1, 2;
conflicts with Duff, 1, 2, 3;
and Diana in The Miracle, 1;
in General Strike, 1;
as John Julius’ godfather, 1;
politics, 1;
as Diana’s admirer, 1;
travels with Diana, 1;
in 1945 General Election, 1
Beecham, Sir Joseph, 1
Beecham, Sir Thomas, 1, 2
Beerbohm, Sir Max, 1
Beit, Sir Alfred and Clementine, Lady, 1
Bell, Clive, 1, 2
Bellenger, Marion Theresa, 1
Belloc, Hilaire, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Belvoir Castle, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
Benckendorff, Alexander K., Count, 1
Benckendorff, Constantine, 1
Bendern, John de, 1
Bennett, Arnold, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Bérard, Christian, 1
Berenson, Bernard, 1, 2, 3
Beresford, Lord Charles, 1
Berkeley, Lennox, 1
Berlin, Sir Isaiah, 1
Berners, Gerald H. Tyrwhitt-Wilson, 9th Baron, 1, 2
Berry, Lady Pamela, 1, 2, 3, 4
Bertie, Monty, 1
Bestigui, Charles de, 1, 2, 3, 4
Betjeman, Sir John, 1
Bevin, Ernest, 1
Bibesco, Elizabeth, Princess, 1
Birkenhead, 1st Earl of, (F. E. Smith), 1, 2, 3
Birrell, Augustine, 1, 2, 3, 4
Birrell, Francis, 1
Blackton, J. Stuart, 1, 2
Blackton, Paula, 1
Blackwell, Carlyle, 1
Blandford, John, Marquess of, 1
Blenheim Palace, 1, 2, 3
Blunt, Wilfred Scawen, 1
Bognor, 1, 2
Boleslawsky, Richard, 1
Borghese, Pauline, Princess, 1
Boston, Mass., 1
Bouch, Thomas: relations with Diana, 1, 2
; in First War, 1;
on Bennett’s portrait of Diana, 1;
on Diana’s character, 1, 2;
on Duff, 1;
on Diana and Prince of Wales, 1;
present sold, 1
Bourdet, Edouard, 1
Bowra, Sir Maurice, 1
Boyd, Lilian, 1
Boyd, Phyllis, 1, 2, 3, 4
Bracken, Brendan, 1st Viscount, 1
Brancaster (Norfolk), 1, 2
Brazil, 1
Bresson, Robert, 1
Brett, Dorothy, 1
Brissac, Pierre de Cossé, Duc de, 1
Broglie, Jean, Prince de, 1
Broglie, Maurice, Due de, 1
Brooke, Rupert, 1, 2
Brooke-Popham, Air Chief Marshal Sir Robert, 1
Brown, George (Lord George-Brown), 1
Brownlow, Adelbert W. B. Cust, 3rd Earl, 1, 2
Bruce Lockhart, Robert, 1, 2
Buchan, John (1st Baron Tweedsmuir), 1
Budberg, Moura, Baroness, 1, 2
Bulletin, 1
Bullitt, William C., 1
Burckhardt, Carl, 1, 2, 3
Butler, R. A. (Lord Butler of Saffron Walden), 1, 2
Cadogan, Sir Alexander, 1, 2
Campbell, Mrs Patrick, 1, 2
Canada, 1
Capel, Diana, 1, 2
Carmi, Maria, 1, 2, 3
Carrington, Mrs (elocution teacher), 1
Carter, Amos, 1
Caruso, Enrico, 1
Casati, Marchesa, 1
Cassell, Sir Ernest, 1
Cassell’s Saturday Journal, 1
Castlerosse, Valentine, Viscount, 1
Catroux, General Georges, 1
Cavendish, Andrew C. (later 11th Duke of Devonshire), 1; see also Devonshire, Deborah, Duchess of
Cavendish Hotel (London), 1, 2
Diana Cooper Page 45
