by Dez Burke
Looking up at her raptly attentive face, he said simply, “I love you, Makayla. I don’t have any other fancy way to say it. Or to do this.”
He pulled his hand from hers to retrieve a small box from his inner suit pocket. He heard her gasp out loud when he opened the box to reveal a dazzling engagement ring. He placed the open box in front of her and nodded.
“Try it on; see if it fits. It was my mother’s,” he said, grinning. “Okay, just a warning though that trying it on is almost the same as accepting because then I’m going to be really bossy and never let you take it off once you wear it.”
“Oh my God, Blade,” Makayla breathed, staring down at the ring, her fists clenching on either side of her dinner plate. “It’s so beautiful. It’s…perfect.”
“That’s why I’m offering it to the right person,” Blade said quietly, all humor gone as he gazed into her now pale face.
Her expression was pained as she looked up at him and suddenly Blade’s heart stopped because he knew exactly what was coming next.
Chapter Twenty-Three
No, I’m not the right person, Makayla wanted to say; Jessica is. And Jamie.
But her voice felt choked in her throat.
Hearing Blade say he loved her had given her a jab of pleasure-pain that had her feeling ripped in two. She wished she could tell him she loved him too since that was the truth. And yet she’d held back, only to get one more shock when he’d unearthed the gorgeously set diamond ring.
It physically hurt her to look up into his face and prepare to tell him that she couldn’t marry him. And she couldn’t tell him the real reason. She didn’t want him to feel any more guilt than he’d already suffered.
“I’m sorry,” she hushed, trembling inside at the effort it was taking to do this without caving in. “I can’t accept the ring. I can’t marry you, Blade.”
Before he could ask why, she started speaking quickly, ignoring the pain and shock etched on his handsome face.
“I’m…it’s very hard for me to make the decision but don’t think I haven’t taken time to even consider it. I don’t need more time. I’m leaving, Blade. I’ve been offered a higher position in London and it’s a great opportunity for me. I’m going to take it.”
“Tell me this is a joke,” Blade said, his voice toneless.
Makayla had to keep herself from choking on a sob, willing back the hot tears threatening to spill. “I’m not joking. I’ve always only dreamed of getting this chance. I can’t afford to blow it after I’ve worked so hard to get here. The pay’s fabulous and my chances of reaching the top in record time have doubled. I was hoping you’d be happy for me.”
“Oh, I am,” Blade said thinly. “I’m happy you’re set to achieve your dreams. Too bad I thought those dreams would somehow happen to fit me in somewhere. Guess I was wrong.”
“Blade…”
“But maybe I wasn’t so wrong,” he cut in with a musing tone. “I mean, from the start I told myself that I’m not really your type. I was sure this was all just an exciting diversion for you considering I’m no hotshot Wall Street tycoon with four degrees. I’m just a soldier with some pretty fucked-up issues and who the hell was I to expect you to want to deal with that?”
“Blade, I know you’re mad, but please…”
“I could never be mad at you,” Blade said with far more composure than Makayla had expected and yet she felt chilled by the icy rim within his blue eyes. “I should have known; I had to see this coming but I was blind even though it’s not the first time. I’m used to certain women wanting me to keep them warm in bed but when it comes to making me a part of their lives, they decide they want to go for something better; more conformed to their fancy level.”
“I never thought I was fancy…”
“You don’t have to,” Blade said with a twist to his lips. “It’s just enough that you are. You’re accomplished, ambitious and beautiful. You don’t deserve a man like me; you need one of those country club types with the kind of background to ensure you don’t get embarrassed trying to introduce him to your co-workers and friends.”
“If you believe I could ever be embarrassed by you then you don’t know anything about me,” Makayla said, eyes flashing as he hit a nerve. “You’re a well decorated former Special Ops who served his country faithfully and I’d be proud to think I ever had you in my life.”
“But it still wasn’t good enough to keep me there, was it?” Blade murmured calmly, retrieving the ring and placing it safely back in his pocket.
“I’ve told you my reason, Blade,” she said on a ragged sigh.
“Well I don’t believe you,” he replied in that same calm tone. “But it doesn’t even matter. Not anymore. Are you ready to leave?”
Makayla could only nod dumbly. Her legs felt shaky as she realized what she’d done and that she couldn’t take it back. And yet many times during the silent, tense drive back she opened her mouth to do just that – tell Blade she’d made a mistake. That she was crazy and would never leave him because of some stupid promotion overseas.
But deep inside she told herself she’d done the right thing and couldn’t back out now. She needed to save her strength for the long night of painful tears which would be the first of many in the lonely weeks to come.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Makayla heard the doorbell ring and was reluctant to go answer it. She figured it was any of her friends or even her sister Evelyn, as always eager to drag her out to some club or party in the hope of lightening her dreary outlook over the past several weeks.
Staying at the apartment was getting gloomier especially now that Gina was away more often planning her Bahamas wedding. Makayla was glad when Gina finally picked her younger sister Veronica as a bridesmaid because Makayla knew she was in too much of a sorry state to be anyone’s maid of honor for the wedding taking place in two weeks time.
The bell kept ringing incessantly and Makayla finally had no choice but to drag herself off of the sofa where she’d been watching re-runs of her favorite series just to keep herself from tearing out her own hair.
She tugged open the front door with a scowl which disappeared into a surprised look at the strange woman standing there. It was a beautiful brunette who looked just a few years older than Makayla. She was dressed casually in jeans and a brightly colored blouse. Makayla was sure they’d never met before.
“You must be Makayla,” the woman said with a tentative smile, and something about her voice reminded Makayla of someone. “I’m Jessica.”
The name clicked with the voice and Makayla’s eyes widened. Jessica, here? Oh Jesus! Now what?
“Is there a problem? Because Blade isn’t here. We broke up,” Makayla said mechanically.
The woman’s smile turned wry. “I know. Can I please come in?”
Makayla reluctantly stepped back to allow the woman into the apartment. She was half-curious, half-dreading whatever Jessica thought they needed to talk about.
Jessica gracefully declined Makayla’s offer of refreshment or even a seat as she stood in the middle of the living room. Jessica clasped her hands in front of her as she faced the puzzled Makayla.
“I won’t take up much of your time. Jamie’s due for pick-up at the day care center but I just thought I had to see you and set some things straight.”
“Okay,” Makayla said blankly, her mind still in a whirl.
Jessica let out a deep breath. “Look, I think I know why you left Blade. He told me about your new promotion and everything but I’m thinking there’s more to your reason for turning down Blade’s proposal.”
Makayla felt like the ground should just open up and swallow her. She’d never have believed Blade would tell Jessica anything about what went on between them.
“Nice to know I’m a riveting topic of conversation,” Makayla said with thinning lips.
“It’s not what you think. I managed to get it all out of him when he told me you two were not together now. Blade is very much a man of duty a
nd I’m ashamed to say I’ve tried to take advantage of that. Most times, I’ve failed.”
Jessica looked rueful. “Look, I won’t lie and say I didn’t want Blade. I tried to keep him on a leash but that didn’t work. I was gutted when he fell for you because then I knew he’d never ask me again to be his wife so that he could legally become Jamie’s father.”
“Wait…Blade asked you to marry him?” Makayla looked shocked.
“It was long ago, when I told him Jamie was his. And even when he found out Jamie wasn’t his, he stood by his offer. I was the one who said ‘no’ just to punish him. You could say I’ve acted really bitter.”
Makayla tried to keep her expression neutral though she was inwardly agreeing to that statement.
Jessica continued, “Anyway, to get to my point; soon after refusing him, I realized my mistake. As you can imagine I’ve been trying my best to get him to see that I’ve changed my mind. I wanted us to get married and be a family. But then…he fell in love with you.”
“Well, I’m not in the way anymore, am I? You have Blade all to yourself now because he has nothing stopping him from getting married to you,” Makayla muttered, unable to hide her bitterness.
Jessica regarded her shrewdly. “I knew it. You left him so that he could be with me and Jamie, right?”
Makayla couldn’t help but shrug, unable to deny it now. “What does it matter? You’ve got what you wanted. Blade’s all yours. I couldn’t stand him being torn apart by his duty to you and his love for me. But don’t take me out to be some saint, because I’m not. I just wanted what’s best for Jamie.”
“Thank you,” Jessica said calmly. “Looks like everyone has been doing stuff in Jamie’s interest. Except me.”
Makayla looked at her quizzically, and Jessica continued, “I realized I’ve been as manipulative as Blade once accused me of. I got pregnant and tried to pin it on him. And when the real father died, I kept Blade on a guilt trip just so I could have him around. But not anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“Jamie will always have Blade,” Jessica said with a deep sigh and a smile. “Even I know that. Whatever happens, Blade will never turn away from Thomas’s son. I’m happy just knowing that. What I couldn’t stand was Jamie growing up and some day realizing the kind of woman I was, conniving and deceptive. Each time Blade did something selfless for Jamie or me, it made me hate myself more. When I found out he lost you, probably because of me, I suddenly realized how low I’d sunk.” She let out another sigh, and this time her eyes had a glint of moisture. “I don’t want to be that woman anymore. And I don’t want to stand in the way of Blade’s happiness anymore either.”
Makayla didn’t know want to say, shocked by Jessica’s change of heart. “Now, don’t take me for a saint either,” Jessica said with a shaky smile. “But for once, I’m thinking of someone besides myself. Jamie’s getting healthier every day. I’m also choosier now about the kind of men I date so Blade doesn’t have to worry I’ll be with some loser who’ll put Jamie or me in danger. Blade will always be a part of Jamie’s life. I’m happy knowing that Jamie has a mother he can one day be proud of.”
Makayla nodded, her heart swelling at the tremulous look on Jessica’s face. “I’m sure he will be.”
“Yeah, thanks. So how do you plan on getting Blade back?”
Makayla’s eyes widened, even as a stone the weight of a ton settled on her chest. “I can’t.” Makayla’s tone was factual. “I blew it. I know that. He’s never going to want me back.”
Jessica shook her head. “He will, if you explain that it was to keep him from being caught in the middle,” Jessica said sensibly. “I knew in a flash that you were using that new promotion of yours as a ruse. If you’d told him you’d left him for me he’d never have let you go.”
Makayla sighed raggedly. “Be that as it may. I wasn’t joking about the job. I did get the promotion and I fully intended to leave for London after Gina’s wedding. Gina’s his stepsister and my roommate.”
“I know,” Jessica said with a nod. “And Blade’s going to be at the wedding. I’m thinking that’s a perfect situation for some serious making up. Nothing like a joyous wedding to put everyone in a good mood.”
“You’re so wrong,” Makayla said with a firm shake of her head. “Blade’s mood is going to be far from good when he sees me. He’ll never want to hear what I have to say.”
“Do you want him back or not?”
Makayla blinked back hot tears of the regret and pain she’d borne these past weeks without him.
“Of course I do! More than anything! I never stopped wanting him back. Every day,” Makayla muttered, brushing her knuckles over her eyes.
“Then you’ve got to at least try,” Jessica told her firmly. “That’s one cause that’s worth fighting for if you ask me.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Blade had to admit that the pristine beach provided the most stunning backdrop for a wedding. The beach and the unbelievably gorgeous sunset which glowed warmly as Gina and Ray exchanged their loving vows in front of the fifty-odd guests.
The sound of applause and laughter filled the air just as the newly wedding couple kissed. Blade thought his stepsister looked fantastic and he’d never seen her so happy.
The wedding continued with the reception beneath the decorated gazebos and Blade found himself drawn into the endless photo-taking, dancing and cake cutting. There was no denying that this was a beautifully planned occasion and he was happy he could be there to celebrate with Gina. No matter how messed up his love life was, Blade could still find it in himself to be glad for others who’d been fortunate to find happiness with someone else.
He managed to snag a dance with the new bride and she was gazing up at him with a warm smile as he swept her around the platform while the live Caribbean type music played.
“I hope we get to dance like this at your wedding, Blade,” Gina teased.
“Not the marrying kind, sis,” he said drily. “Not anymore.”
Gina’s look was gentle. “Makayla’s here, you know. She’s been waiting to see you.”
“I’m not in quarantine; she could have come up to me and said hello at any time,” Blade said gruffly. He couldn’t bear the mention of her name without flinching. He’d seen her of course, on different occasions during the ceremony. Always just a glimpse but always enough to make it feel like his gut was getting wrenched.
He’d known she’d be here so he’d been more than prepared. He had no cause to avoid her and if anything it looked like she was avoiding him. He wasn’t a grudge-filled teen so he’d be civil with her if necessary but so far, she’d kept out of his way and damned if he’d go seeking her out.
“I think it’s possible she’s interested in making up with you,” Gina ventured hesitantly. “I mean, she didn’t tell me much but from the way she’s been talking, she seems sorry to have broken up with you.”
Blade let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know what game Makayla put you up to, but count me out of it, okay? And why would she even be talking about me? I’d have thought she’d been ready to move to London to start her once-in-lifetime job opportunity.”
Gina’s hand rested gently on Blade’s chest. “She’s not going to London anymore. She declined the move.”
Blade huffed. “That was stupid, if what she told me was anything to go by. This was supposed to be the game changer. The career boost of her dreams.”
Gina sighed deeply. “I’m not going to try to convince you of anything but –“
“Then don’t,” Blade said shortly, before cupping her face. “Focus on your wedding. That’s why we’re all here, okay? We’re here for you.”
Gina smiled a happy, shaky smile and moments later, her groom appeared and Blade gallantly handed his stepsister to the beaming Ray.
It was only as Blade walked over to the buffet table and picked up a glass of champagne that he realized his hand had a slight shake to it. Damn it all to hell! He couldn’t get Gin
a’s words out of his head about Makayla wanting him back. How was that even possible? After her heartless rejection and their devastating breakup, he’d never dreamed he’d even be giving her a second thought. And yet here he was, heart pounding at the prospect that he could possibly be with her again.
But he wasn’t going to be played about like that. Makayla had broken him down like nothing he’d ever been through. Nothing in the service had prepared him for the desolation he’d experienced when she’d told him it was over.
Was it believable that she was having second thoughts?
Well, fuck that; thought Blade as he almost slammed down the fluted glass. The sun had long set and now the breath-taking beach was awash with a royal blue night sky, the surrounding well-lit for the wedding party that was in full swing. Despite himself, Blade glanced around for just one more glimpse of Makayla but she was nowhere to be seen anywhere in the happy crowd of guests.
So much for that.
He snatched up another glass of champagne and let it spill down his throat. Blade thought about downing glass after glass until he started numbing up. It looked like he was going to need it tonight because he was beginning to see that he was far from over her. He wasn’t even sure what he’d do if she walked up to him at that moment. Probably flatten her in his arms and kiss her senseless before making her swear she’d never leave him again.
Blade told himself not to be a fool as soon as those thoughts registered. The fact was Makayla had never really cared and had used him for a bit of diverting amusement until something better came along.
Swearing furiously under his breath, he decided he’d had enough. He was sure no one would miss him if he left now and besides, he was starting to have a dreadful headache after all that champagne on an empty stomach.
