“I left because I’m not a good bet. I love my job more than anything. I believe in justice.”
Yeah, ironically, he’d begun to feel that way too.
She pushed on.
“My father is a lifetime criminal. He sold drugs, stole shit, and is in the clink. My mother thought prostitution was a good way to get drug money. I spent most of my childhood in the system. My job is all I have.”
He let her talk.
Rogue knew all of this, but he was staggered by the strength it must have taken for her to say it to him. He couldn’t bring up his baggage, and that said it all. She was stronger than him.
Cordelia continued, hoping he’d understand.
“You scare me.”
He was confused.
“Why?”
It was almost funny how she was looking at him. He would have laughed if this wasn’t the most serious conversation they’d ever had.
“All of this. This scares me. I can’t compete with this. I’m only as good as my job. I’m only a cop, Rogue.”
Was that it?
He respected her because of her job. As of late, as they had been doing ‘the right thing’, and he saw how hard it was. Her life was not as much fun as his had been.
Plus, with the person who attacked Dakota, it looked like ‘the right thing’ was going to be the norm—well, that or die, and no one wanted that.
“I stare at you, and I can’t understand why this morning happened.”
“Well, I was born with a penis, and you have a vagina. When we get together…”
She didn’t laugh.
“Okay, so much for humor. That was the wrong route. When I’m nervous, I say stupid shit.”
Clearly.
“I need you to be serious.”
“It happened because the universe likes to fuck with me. Give me money but make me a half-breed that no one will ever take seriously. I don’t fit in either world. I can’t be Native, because I’m not pure, and I can’t be white because I’m carrying some wonky DNA.”
She listened.
“The universe is cruel. It shows me love but then makes it not fit because she’s using me. Finally, as its pièce de résistance, it gives me a gorgeous woman, but it has her hate money, but be okay with Nativeness. I can’t win.”
She opened her mouth.
He stopped her.
“It’s my turn. You wanted to have a serious conversation, Cordy, so here it is. I steal things for a living. I’m a criminal. You thought I killed Charlotte, but I didn’t. I was more likely to steal her jewelry.”
She stared at him.
“Pardon?”
“My life is not so cut and dry.”
Yeah, she could see that.
“We are trying to find a sex ring, but I only did it because Elizabeth Blackhawk is blackmailing me. I want to find my father. He’s an asshole, but my mother is sick with cancer. She may not make it. He was the love of her life. I’m trying to find him for her. That’s the one thing money can’t buy. Then I find out that he might be involved in the trafficking of women—which fits his douche nature. Now I have to kill him.”
Cordelia listened to him vent. She had, and now it was his turn. Besides, she was trying to wrap her head around the ‘jewel thief’ thing.
“I’m a worse bet, Cordelia. I steal jewels. People hire me to break into museums, and I crack security for a fee. I am a criminal. That’s why you scare me. I didn’t want you to see that and loathe me based on principle alone. We are cops and robbers. Literally.”
He waited for her to say something.
“Well?”
“Uh, this is awkward.”
He laughed.
“Dakota told me about the case part. He opted to trust me. Does this mean you trust me too since you just admitted to a whole bunch of crimes?”
Oh, did he?
He went for it, sharing everything.
“I loved Charlotte for the better part of a year. I tried to make her fit into my world. I tried to get her and my mother to like each other.”
“It was bad, huh?”
“Oh, you can say that. It was like oil and vinegar. My mother had me when she didn’t have to, Cordelia. She was single, white, and loaded. She could have had an abortion, ended it, but she didn’t. She wanted me. I can’t have connections to people unless they know how valuable she is to me. I owe her everything I have, as shitty as the universe may be.”
She didn’t understand that.
She didn’t have a mother who gave a shit about her. Hers was shooting up when she was sitting on the floor crying. Her mother was out hooking, leaving her in an empty apartment with an oven door open for heat.
That was the only mother she ever knew.
“Charlotte was using me. I can’t handle that anymore. I want to be able to trust the person I’m with.”
She was shocked at his honesty.
“I have everything to lose,” he stated, “and I don’t mean money. My heart hurts. I watch Dakota and Zayn with the loves of their lives, and I feel empty. I just want someone who sees me—to actually see me, Rogue—not a Ravenscroft.”
Tears filled her eyes.
Her heart hurt for him. In that moment, she wanted to share something with him.
So, she hugged him.
It must have caught him off guard.
“I don’t know how to navigate this,” he admitted. “I’m lost. I am trying.”
She got that.
So, she gave him more.
“I saw you,” she stated. “In that moment, I saw you, Rogue, and it is something that I’ll never forget.”
He touched her cheek and she looked up at him.
“We are on opposite sides, Cordelia.”
“I know.”
“For that, I’m sorry.”
“You say that a lot.”
Oh, did he ever. Before her, he never gave a shit, and now…he’d give it all up to feel like he had with her.
“I’m going to work this case, Rogue. I can’t help if I step on your toes. I’m a cop. Don’t take it personally. I have to keep doing my job, and my boss has asked me to make sure I keep him in the loop—off the record. I answer to him and the law-abiding people of this town.”
He’d never ask her to compromise her job. He understood that it made her. Like his life made him.
“I won’t. You do what you have to do, Cordy. I’ll hope we can meet in the middle at some point. Paths crisscross for a reason.”
She agreed.
“Your friend told me to give you a chance, and to think about it all, and he was right.”
“Dakota?” he asked.
“Yeah, the ex-marshal.”
Rogue was staggered by that kind of family bond. The man, hurting, had gone behind his back—not to wound him—but to help him through this.
That was brothers.
“I’m glad you listened. Thank you for understanding me,” he offered.
Gently, Cordelia gave him a kiss.
“Thank you for your honesty,” she stated. “I needed it. I appreciate you telling me about your personal life and your job.”
He wanted to invite her in.
What Rogue wanted was to carry her up to his bed, make love to her for hours, and never let her leave.
OH, SHIT!
That was kidnapping.
He was just like Zayn.
Oh, hell, this whole set of emotions were bad, and they were going to get him in trouble.
His feelings were...
Real bad.
And dangerous.
So, he didn’t invite her in.
“Be careful out there, Detective,” he said, all choked up with emotion, wants, and needs.
She started walking back to her car. A part of her was glad he didn’t invite her in. They weren’t ready. There was still a little trepidation.
Besides, he’d said he needed his mother’s approval. Well, she was going to try and give him that.
Maybe if she could…
Yeah, she was an idiot.
Still, she dug the hole deeper.
“Rogue?”
“Yes?”
“You’re not the only one with light fingers. I’ll see you soon,” she said, giving him a clue.
Cordelia hopped into her fuel-efficient car and headed home. As soon as she cleared the gate, Rogue stuck his hand in his jacket pocket.
And she was right.
Cordelia did have light fingers. He’d never even felt her slid anything in there.
Pulling it out, he found her business card and her cell number.
‘If you need to be rescued, call a cop. Even if you’re in trouble. I’ll be there.’
His heart skipped in his chest because he knew the truth. That was what he was waiting for in life.
He wanted to be rescued.
From himself.
* * * H U N T E R * * *
Purgatory
Tuesday Night
It felt weird for Zayn to be heading into a bar that Sarah now owned. It had been Charlotte’s, and then before her, it belonged to some man by the name of Virgil Livingston. He’d basically gone missing, and the word on the street was he got too nosey and ended up in the wrong criminal’s business.
What happened to him was anybody’s guess. Gator bait was the likeliest choice.
Now someone he cared about was behind the helm, and it worried him.
Would she be safe?
Could they protect her if someone was gunning for them too?
It was all plaguing Zayn.
Once inside, the same old sounds assaulted him. There was the music playing, the sound of laughter, and then Sarah’s voice over it all.
He saw her behind the bar. She was laughing, slinging drinks, and seemed to fit in there. He wasn’t surprised.
She was a natural.
It was likely why Charlotte had trusted her to work the bar that one day.
Heading her way, he ignored the big burly man that was beside her. They were looking a little too comfy as they laughed about something.
This dude had better not be moving into their territory.
Literally.
Sarah was theirs.
He sat and tapped the bar with his hand to get her attention from the man.
“Barkeep, hook a guy up if you don’t mind. It’s been a long day.”
At his voice, she turned and smiled.
“Zayn! Hey.”
Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. She had her dyed red hair pulled back, and normally she looked bubbly. Tonight, she looked…like Dakota.
They were both suffering.
Yeah, it was definitely time to fix their shit, and fast. These two were a mess if he ever saw one. They were in first place with Rogue and the detective in a close second.
Thank God he was married, and this was not his fate. When he got home, he was going to kiss his wife and thank her for marrying him.
“We missed you tonight,” he said, as she poured him a beer.
She knew what he was talking about. Sarah felt horrible about not being there. Only, she couldn’t look at Dakota. If she did, she’d beg and cry.
Sarah had to be strong—for both of them.
“Yeah, well…”
She shrugged.
“I would have been a distraction to him.”
Oh, he had news for her.
“Funny that you should mention that,” he began. “He was stabbed tonight. He’s home bleeding all over the French furniture. So, you should have probably come anyway. You know…he’s a nonstop party.”
She stopped pouring the drink.
There was no way she’d heard him right.
“WHAT?” she asked, staring at him.
“I think you heard me, but if you need to hear it again, while he was watching the house, he was ambushed, and stabbed in the side. He’s a mess.”
Okay, that made him sound worse than he was, but he needed to find a way to get them back together. This was NOT his thing, so he hoped it worked.
He was a commando, not Cupid.
Tears filled her eyes at his words, and she nearly dropped the glass she’d been holding.
“Is he okay? He’s not seriously hurt, is he? What can I do for him?”
Oh, now she was concerned?
It was time to have a come to Jesus talk with her, and he knew she wasn’t going to like it. Up to that point, it had been a pile-on to Dakota, laying the blame on him.
Well, it took two to tango, and Sarah had to own her half of this mess.
“Well, for starters, you could have grown a set and been there for him. He was distracted, Sarah. He was so worked up about you and him, we nearly blew the job.”
That was the last thing she wanted to hear.
Sarah stopped with the beer and poured them both a whiskey. After handing it to him, she threw hers back.
It helped calm her.
God knew she needed it.
“Zayn, is he okay?”
It was his turn to shrug.
“Come home.”
“I can’t,” she stated. “I can’t face him right now. We’re both angry. He hates this place.”
Yeah, these two were thicker than a Southern woman’s thighs on a Sunday.
“He was jealous, Sarah. He doesn’t care about the bar.”
That caught her off guard.
“What is he jealous of?”
Really?
Did women really not know that the ONLY thing men became jealous of was other men.
“Maybe Rogue. It wasn’t about this place. He’s old school. His girl was going to another man for help. It upset him. No man wants to swallow that. He’s given you so much space to spread your wings in this new life, but that’s more than any man should swallow. It makes us wonder what else you could be doing when we’re away from the nest.”
She was shocked.
“I’d never cheat on Dakota. I waited for him for six months, and I came here. I couldn’t cheat on him. He’s the love of my life!”
“Well, he obviously is afraid of it happening. You didn’t tell him about what you wanted. You told Rogue. That’s a big shot to a man’s ego. You were wrong, Sarah.”
She listened to him in shock. She’d never heard Zayn stand up for anyone before—but Stella.
“This place is bad, but then again, so are we. We fit. You have always fit with us, and with him. Come home. We’re down a man, and we have interviews.”
She hesitated.
The big bartender headed their way, tossing the bar rag over his shoulder as he studied the man.
“Who the fuck are you?” he asked. “Are you hitting on my girl?”
Zayn lifted a brow.
Did he hear him right?
His girl?
If she moved on…
Oh, Jesus.
That was bad. Dakota was in a funk over a breakup. IMAGINE the shit mire it would be if she found a new man in under a day.
“WELL?”
“It’s okay, Daddy. This is Zayn Thundercloud. He’s one of my friends. He’s a good guy and married to another of my friends, Stella. I mentioned them.”
He relaxed.
Zayn, on the other hand, couldn’t. He was amused.
Daddy?
“THIS tank is your gay father who ran a dive bar in San Francisco?” he asked, already plotting the hours of fun he could have with this.
Oh, Dak…he was toast.
This man could whip all of their asses, and he was a good decade or two older than Dakota.
Sarah stopped him.
“Zayn, knock it off.”
Oh, she knew him. He was planning.
“I can’t help myself. Anyway, Mr. Valley, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Zayn stated, holding out his hand.
Sarah did the introduction.
“This is Preston Valley and he came to help me out. He knows a lot more about bars.”
Zayn was amused as hell.
“Oh, he is going to kill Dakota when he sees h
im. We all know Dak can’t keep his ego in check. My money is on your father on this one. I know Rogue wants in on this.”
“Zayn!”
Preston spoke up, cracking his knuckles.
“That’s my plan when I find him. He made my baby cry. As soon as I’m done working at MY bar, I’m going to head over, kick his ass, and teach him manners.”
Oh, he wanted to be home for that fun.
Well, that would have to be tomorrows show. For tonight, Zayn figured he’d give Dakota an iota of peace.
“It’s good to meet you, Mr. Valley, but we need your daughter.” He focused on her. “Come home, Sarah. He needs you, and deep down, you owe him that.”
“I do?”
“How did you feel when he left you?” he asked, tossing back his glass of whiskey.
Jesus.
Of course he was going there, and of course, she hated that he was absolutely right.
It had hurt.
“I’ll think about it, Zayn.”
Only, this had to be a private thing between her and Dakota, so she would think about when it would be best to have the discussion.
“Okay, Sarah, but we miss Bunny.”
“Why do people keep calling you that?” Preston asked, waiting for his daughter to explain.
“Later, Daddy.”
Zayn pulled out his wallet and went to pay.
Sarah stopped him.
“Your money is no good in here.”
Déjà vu.
He remembered that being his final conversation with Charlotte, and he only hoped that Sarah didn’t end up the same way. Owning this place was a slippery slope that ended on a bunch of death-filled jagged rocks.
“Mr. Valley, good luck with the bar. We’ll be in for some drinks as soon as we close this mess up. My wife likes dancing on your bar top.”
“Oh, Sarah, that’s not sanitary,” Preston stated. “You can’t let people do that!”
She laughed as Zayn headed out. She found it funny that her father picked that to bitch about out of the whole sentence.
Some things never changed.
“You should go see your guy,” Preston stated. “Then bring him here. I was serious. I want to kill him.”
She laughed and gave him a hug.
“No killing Dakota, Dad.”
He mumbled something she didn’t quite hear.
Then, like a good owner of a totally criminal-filled bar, that housed people doing really terrible deeds, she got back to work.
Absolution: The Hunter Mercenary Series (Book Two) Page 34
