by S Doyle
Oh and the number thing—because while Jake came prepared, he only came prepared with one condom—was also super freaking hot.
Eleven
Jake
June
“Jake. A minute.”
I was heading out to the barn when I heard Rich call out to me. I stopped and waited for him to catch up.
“What’s up, Rich?”
“I’m not exactly sure how to say this. And as you know, I’m not one for poking into another man’s business. Unless it affects me, which I think this does.”
“I’m not following.”
“Saw Ellie’s car here this morning. Saw it here last night too.”
Immediately, I felt defensive about it. “Rich, if you’ve got a point you best get to it.”
“I’m wondering why the owner of this ranch doesn’t live in her house but you do.”
It was a good question, because from the outside looking in, it didn’t make any sense. I didn’t think I needed to explain any of that to an employee. “It’s complicated. Let’s leave it at that.”
“I’m guessing, what with her car here some nights and gone in the morning, that she’s your girlfriend now.”
Technically she was my ex-wife, former lover, and the girl I was presently dating. Although in the last few weeks it felt more solid than simply dating. “Yes, she’s my girlfriend. You got a problem with that?”
“No, I’m only asking because… I’m guessing at some point she’s going to come back to the ranch. That’s what the young people do now, isn’t it? Live together? Imagine you won’t need an extra set of hands unless she’s more of a hands-off operator.”
“She’s not. She can do everything that needs to be done. She struggles cutting fence line, but that’s about it.”
“Right. Again, I’m only asking because if I can get heads up on when that’s about to happen, so I know when I need to start looking for work. At my age I’m looking for something permanent.”
“Understood. If things do change I’ll make sure you know about it. And you’ll have all the time you need to find something.”
“’Preciate it.”
He walked off and I thought about it. Between me driving in to town to see Ellie and her driving out here to see me, we were putting a lot of miles on trucks so that she could feel… what did she call it the other day? Balance. Said something about how balance was important and wasn’t our relationship perfect.
We never talked about the next step, which as Rich said would be her moving home. Us living together. With Janet that had never been option, because she lived with her parents and I lived in the bunk house. But if she had had a place, would we have lived together?
It might have ended things sooner if we had. Living together certainly speeds up the learning curve on a relationship. Like how Ellie leaves her shoes by the door for you to trip over them every day.
I hadn’t tripped once since she left.
I would have to think about it. Right now things were good between us. No point in moving too quickly.
Ellie
“So you’re telling me you’re dating your ex-husband?”
When Chrissy said it like that, it sounded strange but I didn’t care.
“Yes. Jake Talley is one hundred percent officially, my former ex-husband and current boyfriend.”
“You guys are so weird.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Chrissy was home from school, and we decided to hang out on Friday night. We were at Pete’s, she was having a beer but I had decided I didn’t want to drink. I told myself it was because I had to be up early for my shift tomorrow, but the reality was my last time drinking at Pete’s didn’t end so well. Like nearly getting raped by Bobby MacPherson. So I wanted to keep a completely clear head.
“We are Weird Jake and Ellie.”
“But you are so freaking lucky! Jake Talley is the hottest guy in town. I’m bummed I didn’t even have a chance with him.”
“Sorry. All mine.”
“But what if you guys get married? I mean married again. Then you will have had Jake and only Jake forever. Doesn’t that worry you?”
“Uh, that’s a big no. Besides, you say it like it’s so unusual. Maybe it’s not the norm now, but plenty of couples around here married their high school sweethearts. Look at the Pettys. I think Mrs. Petty said she started dating Mr. Petty when she was like fourteen. They are probably each other’s only.”
“Ewww, can we please not discuss the Pettys and their sex life?”
“Fine. Then let’s talk about yours. Anyone interesting at school?”
Chrissy huffed. “First there was Greg, and he turned out to be a jerk. Then there was David, and he just wanted in my pants, which can I just say was not all that great when I finally caved. Then he just dumped me. Now there is Eric, but I’m not sure if we’re going to make it over the summer.”
I didn’t say anything. Just sipped my soda and thought how not-awful it was that Jake might be my one and only. The sex was mind blowing, he was definitely not an ass, instead he was the opposite.
Everything was perfect. My scale was set to ten daily. I wasn’t even bothered by the fact that he hadn’t said he loved me or anything. It was too soon for that anyway. Just because I was there didn’t mean we both had to be at the same place, at the same time. Eventually he would get there.
I was certain of it.
“Oh, and did I tell you about Bobby MacPherson?”
“There is nothing I want to know about him,” I told her.
“No, seriously. He’s in jail.”
“Oh my god, tell me he didn’t drug another girl.”
“No. It was drugs. Cocaine. Not just possession either, but intent to sell. How is that for justice?”
I didn’t want to feel good about someone being in jail, but yeah, I kind of liked that he had to pay for something he’d done. Jake, I knew, would be thrilled. I almost texted him, but I didn’t want to be one of those girls. The ones where as soon as they had a boyfriend, he became the world and everyone else got shoved to the side. Chrissy was home and this was our night and I was going to stay focused on her.
“Hey Chrissy, I didn’t know you were home. Buy you a beer?”
I looked up and saw that it was Alex, who Chrissy had dated junior year, standing by our table.
“Hey Alex, I didn’t know you were home either.”
“A couple weeks. You?”
“Just last week.”
“Hey Ellie.”
“Hi Alex.”
“Let me go get you a beer and we can catch up. You too, Ellie… Jake’s not around anywhere, is he?”
Yet another example of the Jake intimidation factor at work. It was a good thing we actually ended up being a thing, or I really might have gone to my grave as a permavirg.
“No. But I don’t need anything, thanks.”
“I’ll take an Ultra bottle,” Chrissy said.
As soon as he was out of earshot, Chrissy leaned over the table. “You don’t mind if he joins us, do you? I haven’t seen him in a while and he’s even hotter than I remember.”
So much for just a me and Chrissy night. No, I didn’t mind. Because unlike me, she was still searching for her guy and I would never want to get in the way of a good love story. “Nope. Flirt away.”
“You’re the best.”
I didn’t know about that, but I since I was feeling pretty smug in the relationship department I was willing to be magnanimous.
In the end I went home alone. Alex claimed it made way more sense for him to drop off Chrissy than me, since she was on his way home. All I knew was, I was pretty sure Chrissy was right about her and the other guy from school not lasting over the summer. That girl was smitten.
I was happy for her too. I had this delicious feeling inside, as if love was contagious. I wanted everyone to be as happy and as lucky as I was. Which is why when I pulled up in front of the Hair Spot I was grinning like a loony bird.
Because that was Jake�
��s truck parked in front.
He came to see me!
I got out of my truck and practically ran up the steps. I had given him a key for this very reason. In case he wanted to stop by and wait for me until my work shift was done. The TV was on and he was already in bed.
I slipped my shoes off, dropped my purse, and then walked over and hopped on the bed next to him.
“This is a surprise,” I said.
He turned the TV off with the remote and looked at me. God, he was hot. Big shoulders, awesome chest. Sometimes I forgot and it took my breath away.
“I’m not going to be able to see you for a few days, so I thought I would come into town tonight.”
“When are you leaving?” This was a planned trip down to Colorado to see his friend Don Simmons. So they could talk about bull semen in person. Yuck! The plan was to go camping and fishing too.
“I fly out tomorrow afternoon. But you know, out where we go fishing there’s spotty to virtually no cell coverage, so don’t worry if I don’t call.”
“I won’t.” I would probably, but I wasn’t about to be a clingy girlfriend. “And you’re sure you don’t want me to stay at the ranch to watch over things?”
“It’s up to you, but Rich is fine for a few days on his own.”
“Thanks for driving into town to see me.”
“I didn’t want to deprive you of my company for that long,” he said with a small smile around his lips.
“Oh I see. Very generous of you not to leave me pining for you. Of course it had nothing to do with maybe you missing me a little?”
“Nooooo. Absolutely not. Men don’t miss people. It’s a thing about us.”
“You’re full of shit, Jake Talley.”
Then he rolled over me and settled his body between my legs.
“I’m full of something, Ellie Samson,” he said even as he pushed his erection against me and dipped his head to kiss my neck. Was this ever going to get old? I couldn’t see how.
“I think you better let me have it then.”
“That was the plan. Now let’s get you naked so I can fuck you goodbye.”
“Oh Jake,” I sighed. “You’re such a romantic.”
Jake
I woke up to the sound of the shower running. I reached for my phone on the table next to the bed and saw it was almost six. Ellie must be working the morning shift today, so she had to be at the diner by six thirty.
I got up and stretched. Then found my boxer briefs and put them on. I needed to drive back to the ranch, finish packing, then head to the airport. My flight wasn’t until later, which made the trip into town doable last night.
Still, all this back and forth between town and the ranch was starting to get old. When I got back we were going to have to sit down and talk about living together. It only made sense. I had been worried about changing things, and it was true it would be a big change, but this was about practicality. Ellie had a ranch to run. Frank needed to find a replacement for her, which was going to take time.
We would have to see if Ellie thought I had done enough wooing of her, and if we had balance, whatever the hell that meant.
Which also meant a conversation with Rich and his future at Long Valley. I supposed I could keep him on full time, but then Javier and Gomez would be out of work. Although with those two it was never certain if they would come back year in and year out.
I pulled on my jeans and threw on my t-shirt. Then I sat on the bed to pull on my boots. The shower stopped and I gave her another few minutes to dry herself. Then I knocked on the door.
“Ellie, hurry. I want to get in there and take a piss before I have to get on the road.”
The door opened and she came out with a towel around her head and a towel around her body. Except she had this weird look on her face. Like something had shocked her.
“You okay?”
“Huh?”
“Ellie, you look like you saw a ghost.”
“Oh no. Nothing. No, I’m just… You need to hurry. I still need to finish my hair and I don’t want to be late.”
I did my business and when I came out she was already dressed (not going to lie, a little disappointed I wasn’t going to get to watch the show).
I walked over to her and cupped her chin in my hand. “Seriously, did something upset you?”
She smiled. “No, I’m fine. Really. Have fun on your trip.”
I bent down to kiss her, a quick taste because neither one of us had time for anything else.
“I’ll be back on Wednesday.”
“Yep.”
“This is the part where you tell me how much you’ll miss me.”
“But you’ve already said you won’t miss me, so I can’t tell you that I’ll miss you. Because that would be unbalanced.”
“Right. I keep forgetting,” I said even as I rolled my eyes. I pecked her lips again, because I could, and then left her to her hair.
“Balance,” I muttered to myself even as I made my way down the steps that ran along the side of the building. I seriously didn’t even know what that meant.
Still, I was pretty sure she was going to miss me.
Twelve
Ellie
That same morning
Don’t panic. It was the first thing I told myself.
Dontpanicdontpanicdontpanic.
Except when you do it like that, really fast in your head… it was basically doing the opposite.
I was panicking. It was so stupid. I got out of the shower and dried off, and then I opened the cabinet doors under the sink because I wanted to get a nail clipper and trim my toenails.
I don’t even know why I paid attention to them. I mean they were always there. In any bathroom I’ve ever used.
Always pads and Tampax tampons.
But suddenly it occurred to me it was June. And I hadn’t needed them since coming home.
Then Jake knocked on the door, which pushed me past the panicking part, although I obviously didn’t do a good job of hiding it because he could clearly see I was freaked.
Fortunately I assured him I was fine, and he left quickly. Then I started doing the math. I was not a fan of math in general without a calculator, but this was girl math and the numbers added up pretty quickly in my head.
My last period was in April. Which meant I’d completely skipped May. How did I not realize that I SKIPPED MAY?
Because I wasn’t thinking about anything other than Jake. Jake and sex and dating and balance and more sex. Now it was June. Which meant I should have had my period a second time already and I didn’t.
Maybe it was a hormonal thing? All the sex and orgasms were throwing me off my normal cycle.
Okay, totally reaching.
First things first. I called Frank and told him I was sick and couldn’t come in today. I didn’t feel at all guilty, because I basically worked almost around the clock for him since taking the job.
He told me to feel better and that was that.
I knew I couldn’t go to Nash’s to get a pregnancy test. Good Lord, the whole town would know in minutes that I was knocked up.
No. Not knocked up. I wasn’t anything until a test proved otherwise.
Jefferson. It was my only option.
I got ready, ran down to my truck, and drove the hour to Jefferson. Then of course not realizing what time it was had to wait almost forty minutes outside the pharmacy until it opened. I was the first customer of the day and fortunately alone.
I made my way down the aisle almost clandestinely. Dumdeedum. Nothing to see here. I picked up three different brands of pregnancy tests, then some mouthwash and a can of hairspray to hide them.
See, just a pile of normal stuff. Nothing strange going on here. Not a thing. I stood at the counter while a seemingly nice old man rang me up.
Hairspray, check, mouthwash, check. Three pregnancy tests… check.
To his credit he didn’t say a thing. He handed me the bag, my receipt, and I was out.
The drive back to
Riverbend was killer. I was practically coming out of my skin as a dozen different what-ifs ran through my mind.
Every time, I had to cut myself off. Nothing was real yet, until it was real.
I got back to my room and started chugging water from the kitchenette sink. Ten minutes later I felt confident I had enough to pee.
I did the deed, set the stick on top of the toilet tank, and left the bathroom to wait. The test said three minutes. I took my cell phone out and set the timer.
When it buzzed, I literally jumped off the bed.
Then, like a dead man walking, I made my way back to the bathroom. From the door I could see that stick was pink as shit.
Of course, it wasn’t the final result. No. I had two more tests to take. Nothing was official until all three brands were in agreement.
Eighteen hours later, because I think I read somewhere that first-thing morning pee was the best to use, I took the third test.
It was real.
I was pregnant.
Wednesday
I sat at the kitchen table and waited. I knew Jake’s flight landed in the morning, but he still had a three-hour drive from the airport. I had no idea what I was going to say to him. Because I knew exactly how this was going to go down.
For four days I had cried and despaired. Then in the really dark moments, I thought about making it go away before he came home and never telling him about it. After all, wasn’t it my decision?
But I couldn’t. Because it wasn’t. This was something we had done together. If he ever knew I had done that without letting him know, it would end us. Any semblance of what we were. And even if he never found out, I would still know I had done that to him. I couldn’t live with myself knowing that.
It would hurt him to know I had even had the thought.
But he wasn’t going to see this like I saw it. He wasn’t going to see how I had trapped him again. How a relationship where both people didn’t chose each other was ultimately doomed to failure.
