“Would you believe she was raised by coyotes?”
“Now why would you say that?” Annie asked, her free hand going to her hip. “What did coyotes ever do to you?”
CJ chuckled as he held her chair. “You’re right. That’s defamation of coyote character.”
The arrival of the waitress stalled any further discussion for the moment. When their orders were taken, and they were left alone again, he wasn’t sure what to say. It was the first time all day that he’d found himself at a loss for words.
“So,” Annie said softly, the word dragging out. “How long is a long time ago?”
“We were on and off, but broke it off for good a year and a half ago when I decided to go into the guide business full-time.”
“I take it she didn’t approve?”
“There were a lot of things Teresa didn’t approve of. Quitting a steady job to start my own business was just one of them. Then you had the dangers of guide work and the hours it took me away, the money I put back into the business, and my steadfast decision to live on the property my parents gave me.”
“It doesn’t sound like you agreed on much of anything.”
CJ took a drink of his coffee hoping to chase the bitter taste away.
“We didn’t.”
Annie picked at the paper band holding her napkin and silverware together. She wet her lips and the coffee in his belly turned to acid.
“Are there a lot of dangers?”
That hadn’t been what he’d expected. He considered the question for a moment.
“I don’t think the dangers are any greater than a lot of jobs, just different. Construction, mining, drilling, they all have their hazards. I know the terrain, respect the wildlife and Mother Nature, and don’t take unnecessary risks with my clients or myself. Really, my greatest fear is not being able to pay the mortgage.”
“Funny.”
She didn’t laugh.
“I don’t mean to make light. What I mean is, that I can hunt to fill the freezers. I can chop wood to heat the house, but I have to work to pay the bank. If it makes you feel any better the mortgage and utilities are paid three months ahead to give me a cushion.”
“You think I’m worried about money?” Annie asked.
The tilt of her head and narrowing of her eyes warned he was on thin ice. How in the hell had they got on the subject of money? He smothered a sigh at his stupidity. Maybe they could talk about religion or politics next.
“No. Of course not. I was just pointing out that I do consider the practical things, no matter what Teresa thinks.”
“I never doubted that,” she said, her voice softening. “Having had to weigh the pros, cons, and terrors of basically going into business for myself, I know the amount of thinking and worry that goes into it. Not to mention the hours of trying to explain your decisions to friends and family.”
The tension in CJ’s shoulders eased. That was right. Annie got it. He frowned. So, why was she destroying the paper ring from her silverware?
“What else is bothering you, or is hunter green just not your favorite color?”
Annie followed his nod to the napkin ring. She gave a barely perceptible shrug and pushed the bits into a tighter pile with the side of her hand.
“It’s a bad habit I guess. I fidget with things.”
That smelled like bullshit. The way she met his eyes and listened when he talked was something he really liked about Annie. There’d been no fiddling with things. Hell, they’d spent a good eight hours trapped in a car today and she hadn’t done more than mess with the radio a couple of times. Evie refilled his coffee and he gave her a nod of thanks. The pile of shredded paper grew.
“Talk to me. I can’t even try to fix it if you don’t tell me what’s bothering you.”
“I’m just wondering why you didn’t tell me,” she said, not looking up from her project.
Her jaw worked side to side like she was holding something in. CJ ran his thumb over his chin, tugging on the short hair there. What had he done?
“We both mentioned past relationships, but we didn’t get into details. I had no idea that we’d run into Teresa today.”
Annie’s head was shaking before he finished talking.
“I’m not talking about the yoga queen.”
CJ shook his head. If not Teresa, then what? Why couldn’t women come out and say what they meant? And how did Annie know that Teresa had an aerobics and yoga studio?
“I’m not sure what you want to know. We’ve done a lot of talking over the past week, but we can’t hope to have covered everything.”
She looked up, her lips twisted in a sad smile.
“You’re right, but we’ve talked about friends and family. I guess I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t mention someone as important as Austin.”
“I haven’t seen him in a couple of months, and talking about Austin would’ve brought up Teresa. For the most part, I consider talking about exes to be a bad idea.”
“Exes I agree, but children are kind of a big deal. How could you go months without seeing your son?” Annie asked, hurt and disgust plain in her tone.
His mouth opened and closed as his brain tried to formulate an actual answer to that. A gasp ripped his attention away from Annie. He got his hands up just in time to catch the sliding platter. Fries sprinkled his lap as the waitress struggled to right her tray. He sighed. Evie was a renowned gossip. Some version of tonight would be all over town by tomorrow morning.
“Oh, God. I’m sorry. I didn’t burn you did I?”
He put what remained of his dinner down and deflected Evie’s hand as she made a motion toward his lap with a towel.
“I’m fine, Evie.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m fine,” he repeated, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice.
From the pointed look she gave him, he wasn’t completely successful. She turned and retrieved Annie’s plate from where she’d hastily put the tray down on an empty table.
“There you go, honey. I’m telling you, you won’t want to go back to beef after a bison burger.”
“Thank you. I’m looking forward to trying it.”
Annie’s smile didn’t reach her eyes. Her enthusiasm to try a buffalo burger seemed to have waned with the tension as well.
Evie looked back and forth between them. When the silence reached the completely uncomfortable stage, she patted his shoulder and stepped back.
“I’ll get you some more fries.”
He blew out a breath as the older woman finally headed for the kitchen. Looking at Annie, his irritation eased. At least the distraction had given him a moment to gather his thoughts, and look at things from her perspective. He thought he had it this time.
“Austin isn’t mine.”
They were three little words, but he hoped they would make a world of difference in the way she was looking at him.
Annie inhaled sharply, drawing the bite she’d just taken straight into her lungs. Grabbing her napkin, she coughed desperately, chest heaving. A ball of pain lodged behind her breastbone. Her eyes teared up in agony. She struggled to draw air between hacking coughs. The censorious gaze of thirty or forty other people wasn’t cooling the humiliation burning in her cheeks. She closed her eyes and focused on swallowing and breathing. A warm hand on her back made her eyes fly open again. CJ squatted beside her chair.
“Take it easy. Just breathe.”
A member of the waitstaff stepped into her line of vision. Her eyes flickered nervously in his direction. CJ’s hands cupped her cheeks, turning her face back to him.
“Look at me, Annie. You’re okay.”
Staring at him through the tears she took one shuddering breath after another.
“That’s it,” he coaxed.
“I’m so sorry,” she choked out.
“Get so you can breathe and then we’ll talk.”
A few more coughs and the pressure started to ease. She ran her thumbs under her eyes, shakily wiping away the t
ears and took a deep breath.
“I’m okay,” she whispered hoarsely, risking a sip of water.
CJ stood, dropping a kiss on her forehead before taking his seat across from her.
Annie finger-combed her hair, stealing a peek at the other diners. She couldn’t see Teresa without turning around, but could feel the derision stabbing into her back. “I don’t know what it is, but you seem to bring out my graceless side. I’m so sorry.”
“It happens to everybody.”
“Then why does it feel like it’s just me?”
“Paranoia?” CJ suggested.
Annie laughed, still looking around to see who was watching her. She laughed harder when she realized what she was doing.
“That’s a very real possibility.”
“I’d say so.”
She’d read about sparkling eyes, definitely wrote about them a time or two, but didn’t think anything could compare with the blue eyes across the table from her. How could he be smiling at her like that after she’d made an ass of herself?
“I really am sorry,” she said softly. “And I seem to be making a habit of saying that to you.”
“He would’ve been a big thing to hide.”
“Austin has dark hair, mommy has blond. God, why are they always blond?” Annie said grimacing. “He looked so right in your lap. When she told you to call to set up a visit I just thought…”
“I get how you jumped to that conclusion. Even a lot of people around here did, but no. Austin was almost a year old when Teresa and I started dating. There’s no chance.”
“I’m sorry I thought the worse.”
“I get it.”
“But you deserve better.”
She jumped when CJ covered her hand.
“Hey. Stop kicking yourself,” he said softly. “You read into it what she wanted you to. That’s Teresa’s game. She uses Austin.”
“Against you?” Annie asked. The expression on his face said it all. She didn’t know what to say. “That sucks.”
“It does. I love the kid, but Teresa and I just don’t work.”
The waitress brought CJ a new plate of fries and loitered, filling drinks and inquiring on dinner. The buffalo burger was as good as promised. It didn’t have that different of a taste, just more flavor. CJ said elk burgers were even better. Annie missed the heat of his hand on hers. She was relieved when the waitress finally moved on.
“Call me a horrible human being, but I’m glad.”
CJ cocked his head in question at the sudden declaration.
“That you two don’t work,” she supplied. “It gives me a shot.”
A goofy grin lit his face and then he shook his head at her.
“What?” she demanded.
“You honestly have no idea how amazing you are.”
She had nothing for that. He was looking at her like…well, like every heroine fantasized about being looked at. Like she was the only woman in the room. The anticipation and hope it inspired was intoxicating, and utterly terrifying. Did he know what he was doing to her? Annie bit her lip and went for it.
“If we’re back to arguing who’s more amazing, maybe we should head home and see if that new beard oil works as well as it smells.”
Her fingernail scored the Styrofoam cup, idly outlining the convenience store logo. The French Vanilla cappuccino threatened to sour in her stomach. She stole a look at CJ out of the corner of her eye. His hands flexed on the steering wheel. The silence wasn’t new, but the sickening tension was. There hadn’t been many words between them this morning. Last night had been incredible, their love making carrying a sweet desperation. This morning that desperation had been tinged with fear, making them intense and serious. Even a near mishap in the shower hadn’t produced the laughter that was becoming their thing.
Closing her eyes, Annie leaned the side of her head against the passenger window. Tears pricked behind her lids. Neither of them wanted her to leave. They’d stayed in their cocoon until the last minute, not even leaving time for breakfast. Her stomach rolled. Maybe that had been a good thing.
“You look tired. Are you going to have time for a nap before the party?”
“I’ll sleep on the plane,” she said and immediately regretted her brush off as the Jeep fell quiet again.
Putting the cappuccino down in the center console, she rubbed the back of her neck. She was getting a headache. CJ glanced at the cup.
“I’m sorry I didn’t have time to make you a cup of real cocoa before we left the house.”
“I might be guilty of instigating things in the shower,” she said with a slight smile. “Either way, I’m not complaining. That was the best morning of my life, until…” She let the words drift away.
He just nodded, focus staying on the road. Digging her fingers into the hollow at the base of her skull Annie, worked taut muscles and searched for something to get them talking.
“Did your mom and dad really fall in love in an afternoon?”
CJ shot her a sidelong glance and nodded.
“Dad met Mom at a rodeo in Casper. He went to watch a buddy ride broncs. My mom was selling slices of homemade pie with her mom and sisters. One piece of blueberry pie and the rest is history. The only remaining mystery is, which did Dad actually fall for first, Mom or the pie?”
“Thirty-three years down the road I guess we can say whichever it was, he fell hard,” she said with an admiring shake of her head.
“We Barrett men know the right woman when we see her.”
Annie smiled, warmth flooding her at his words.
“Tell me the rest of the story.”
“There isn’t much else to tell. It’s about a five-hour round trip to Casper. Dad didn’t make it too many times before asking her to marry him. It was thirty days from dessert to I do.”
“That must have been some good pie.”
CJ nodded, but his gaze was still serious. Annie bit her lip.
“This isn’t goodbye, you know. Once I get through the publicity push, I can fly back for another visit.”
He nodded again. “I know. We’re going into February and March. This is my slow time. I could come to Michigan, or meet up with you somewhere.”
“This can work. We just both have to want it,” she said, not sure who she was trying to convince.
“I can’t think of anything I want more.”
The sincerity in his deep voice made the tears make a comeback. Rolling her eyes upward and swallowing hard, she tried to keep her emotions in check. She didn’t want to leave. She sniffed. If one tear fell, she’d lose it. Parting her lips, she drew in a deep breath and slowly blew it back out, trying not to be obvious. The last thing she wanted to do was make this harder on CJ when it was her fault she was leaving.
“It sounds like we’re on the same page,” she said, pleased her voice held steady.
CJ’s hand slipped off the gear shift to land on her thigh.
“You don’t have to hide from me.”
“I’m not hiding from you,” she scoffed. “I’m right here.”
“Right here, looking out the window so I won’t know you’re trying not to cry.”
“You know I don’t want to go, right?”
“This is your career you’re talking about.”
“That’s supposed to be my argument.”
“Writing is your passion. Your publisher obviously has a lot of faith in Mackinac Monday to be throwing this party.”
“How do you know the name of my book?” she asked, turning in the seat to face him.
“You mentioned it after your phone call with Finn.”
Annie scrunched up her face in thought, trying to recall the conversation. She pointed a finger at him when it dawned.
“Right after I complimented you on your awesome memory.”
“And you told Finn you were being held captive by a sexy survivalist.”
“I stand by the sexy part, even if you want to challenge the legitimacy of the survivalist title.”
&n
bsp; “Keep drinking the cocoa,” he murmured, turning into the airport.
Her stomach flip-flopped and she reached for the door. Hand resting on the handle, she prayed.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded, keeping her mouth closed. How was she going to handle the small plane to Denver with her stomach already pitching a fit?
“Nerves?”
Lips pressed tight, she nodded again.
“Is there anything I can do?”
“I’ll be okay,” she reassured him and herself.
CJ carried her bags in, exchanging greetings with a couple of guys in the small airport. She figured he was probably here often, picking up or dropping off clients. A smile curved her tense lips hearing him call her precious cargo. Arms went around her from behind and CJ kissed her neck.
“It’s going to be okay, beautiful. I told the pilot to make it a real smooth flight.”
“Did you happen to mention why?” she snorted softly.
“I might’ve. I figured it’s an excellent incentive.”
“I don’t have much time between flights in Denver. I’ll try to drop you a text. Otherwise, I will let you know when I get home.”
“Just worry about you, and text me when you can,” CJ said firmly.
Annie pressed back against his chest and his arms tightened.
“I don’t want to go,” she whispered.
“I know.”
“Please don’t let me screw us up.”
CJ turned her, cupping her face.
“We’re not going to screw this up. This is not goodbye. I promise,” he said, his voice hoarse. “You just have a little business to take care of. Go back to Grand Rapids, and show the VIPs the bright, beautiful, funny woman I’m in love with. You’ll knock their socks off.”
Annie swallowed a sob, hand flying up to cover her mouth as they called her flight. CJ pulled her hand away and kissed her gently.
“Go,” he said, nudging her toward the waiting gate.
Her mouth opened and nothing came out.
“This is not goodbye,” he reminded her. “Go, before you miss your connection.”
She had no idea how she made it onto the small jet. Swallowing desperately against her heaving stomach, she sank into her seat. Jet seemed a grandiose name for the small aircraft that barely held thirty people. Her hands were shaking so badly that the lady next to her leaned over and buckled her seatbelt.
Why not Wyoming? (Wyoming Wilds Series Book 1) Page 11
