“J-Jerry?”
“Yes, sweetheart. It’s me. How are you feeling?”
Despite the mess that was her face, Carol managed a weak laugh. “My face felt like it was on fire earlier, but now I can’t feel anything at all. It’s…nice.”
Jeremy placed himself down on the bed. The sheets were damp and bloody. He noticed that a patch of skin, the size of a hockey puck, had begun to rot away on her side. The smell was sweet, intoxicating.
“I’m going to be here for you now, my love. I’m not going back to work.”
“I…I thought you’d been ordered to?”
“Screw their orders. Besides, I don’t think they’ll be any orders left this time tomorrow.”
Carol’s eyelids fluttered and it seemed like she was going back to sleep. Jeremy was prepared to let her, but was surprised when her eyes opened wide again and seemed even more awake.
“My…sister was here.”
“Kara? She’s downstairs. Did you want to speak with her?”
She shook her head gently. “No. No. Just tell her…I forgive the both of you. I don’t want to die angry.”
Jeremy throat clammed up and for a second he thought he might choke. She knew all along, about him and her sister – and perhaps all the others too. Would she know that he had been planning to tell her everything? Had the absolution of confession been taken away from him? Would it have even counted anyway? To tell somebody something on their death bed was not brave. In fact, it was downright cowardly.
“I’m sorry. How did you know?”
“She’s not exactly subtle – always here, sniffing around you. Doesn’t matter now, though. You can be together.”
“That’s not what I want. I don’t care about her, or anyone else. The only woman I love is you.”
She patted him on the hand. Her skin was soft, mushy. “I know. I know none of those women were anything other than sex to you. You disgusted me for years, but eventually I accepted that it was just your nature to be so…weak. I…I had my own fun in the end.”
Jeremy stood up from the bed. “What?”
Carol smiled. “I’ve probably fucked around…more than you, the last few years.”
“You goddamn whore?”
“I’m not ashamed of it, Jerry. It was fun. You should know.”
Jeremy backed away, towards the door. He could barely believe the grinning skull on the bed was the woman he’d been married to for twenty years. “W-why are you telling me all this?”
“Because I don’t want to die with secrets, and…and despite everything I’ve always loved you. None of it really matters anymore, other than the fact we loved each other in our own way.”
Jeremy lowered his shoulders and took a few breaths while he digested what he’d just heard. His stomach ached and he felt sick – but Carol was right. None of it mattered. He loved this woman and he wanted to be with her. He sat back down on the bed.
“Can I do anything to help?”
Carol took a long, laboured breath, and a sliver of skin fell from her neck, sliding away onto the bed sheets. “I don’t want to die…”
“I know that, sweetheart. I know.”
“…later. I want to die…now.”
Jeremy looked at his wife, deep into her eyes – the only part of her that was still the same as when he’d married her. “What?”
“I don’t want to lie here, rotting. I don’t want to feel the pain when my body begins to bleed. I’ve said all I needed to say. I’m ready.”
“Honey, now. You can’t ask me to-”
“You owe me.” She said the words forcefully, suddenly full of vitality – but it only lasted a minute before she seemed to deflate again.
She was right, Jeremy told himself. He owed her many things. Their whole marriage had been marred by him abusing her integrity and violating her trust. What she was asking for now was dignity – a simple thing. The dignity of refusing to let the virus defile her body in the same ways that he had defiled their marriage for so many years. But he couldn’t kill her. No way.
“I’m sorry. I won’t.”
Carol stared at him. Jeremy couldn’t tell if she was angry, or not. The facial muscles that would usually form expressions were all gone from her face. “I understand,” she whispered. “Leave me alone.”
“What do you mean?”
“If I have to go through this, I want to do it alone. I don’t want anyone watching while I die. If you won’t help me, then give me some privacy.”
The last thing Jeremy wanted was to leave her alone. To die with no one around was be a lonely, helpless demise. But it was Carol’s choice, not his. He stood up from the bed.
“I’ll check on you later.”
“No, don’t. There’s nothing you can do for me.”
Jeremy’s heart felt like a weight in his chest and it was difficult to drag his body away from his wife’s bedside. They may never talk again. This was probably goodbye. He left the room without another word. Anything he’d said wouldn’t have been enough.
Downstairs, Kara was still sitting on the living room sofa. She had switched on the television and was watching it intently. She showed no interest in his presence and did not ask about the state of her sister.
“Carol is in a bad way, in case you were wondering.”
Kara turned her head away from the television and looked at him. “Should I go see her?”
Jeremy sat down on the sofa beside her, making sure to stay as far away on the cushions as possible. “She wants to be left alone.”
“Okay.” Kara went back to watching the television.
“Do you even care?”
“Of course I do. She’s my sister. But there’s nothing I can do. I don’t want to watch while she rots away.”
“Then why are you even here?”
She stared at him again and this time seemed very sad. “To be with you. I thought you cared about me.”
Jeremy sighed. “I…I do. You know I do. But Carol is dying and it’s not right anymore. I’m sick of hating myself.”
“Exactly. She’s dying. We can be together.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t want that. The world is a mess. The last thing I can concentrate on right now is a relationship.”
Kara stood up from the sofa and shook her head. She’d suddenly become very emotional. “You really want to be alone while the world dies around you? We need to look after each other. You need to look after me.”
“What do you mean? You can look after yourself?”
Kara wouldn’t look at him then. She averted her eyes and stared at the wall.
“Kara? What is it?”
“What do you care? You’ve made your feelings clear enough.”
Jeremy sighed and lifted himself off the coach. He went over and put his palm against her back. “Tell me what’s really wrong. You’re not this upset because of me.”
She broke down in tears and buried her head against his chest. It was then that he smelt the same sweet odour that had come from Carol’s rotting flesh. He eased her away so that he could look at her. “You have it, don’t you?”
It looked as though Kara wanted to speak but was unable. Instead she nodded solemnly and reached a hand up to her long, brown hair. She scooped it away from her neck and exposed the skin. Beneath her right ear was a blistering patch of skin.
Jeremy bit at his bottom lip and almost drew blood. “How long?”
“I noticed this morning. I came straight here to wait for you. I was hoping you’d know how to help me, that you would have gotten answers at the news station.”
“How did you even get here? The military have the roads blocked up.”
“I walked. I kept away from the main roads.”
“You walked four miles through that hell out there.”
“It was better than being alone. I thought if I came here, you’d look after me.”
“I will,” Jeremy said. “Of course I will.”
“You’ve changed your tune.”
Jeremy h
uffed. It suddenly felt like he hadn’t slept in weeks. “I care about you, Kara. You’re Carol’s sister.”
“Carol’s sister. Is that all I am to you now? A fucking obligation?”
Jeremy sat back down on the sofa and rubbed at his face. “Kara, if you want me to look after you, I will, but that’s all. I’m not going to argue with you, not now.”
“You mean now that I’m dying?”
Jeremy wasn’t going to lie. He nodded.
“There’s really not going to be a cure?” she asked.
“No. No, I don’t think so. The Government haven’t even worked out how it spreads, let alone how to beat it.”
Kara slumped down on the sofa beside him and seemed defeated, all the energy gone from her voice. “How did I get it? When you came over to warn me that people were getting sick, I stayed away, kept indoors. I never went near anyone infected, but I still got it. How does that make sense?”
“I don’t know. It doesn’t. Truth is nobody really knows anything about the peeling – where it came from or how it works.”
“But it’s bad isn’t it? I mean, really really bad.”
Jeremy nodded. “At the rate it’s going, half the world is going to die. Half the people get it while the other half don’t.”
“Guess you’re one of the lucky ones.”
Jeremy laughed, but didn’t find anything funny. “Doesn’t feel that way.”
Kara pulled her legs onto the sofa and laid herself across his lap. He let her. Together they watched the television in silence, trying to clear their minds of horror. Ironically, Never Stop News was on. Sarah and Tom were continuing to give the news with as much pluck as they could muster, but Jeremy could tell the toll was becoming too much for them. Sarah’s face was pasty and wiry strands of hair clumped against her damp forehead.
“They look as lost as everyone else is,” Kara said.
Jeremy stroked her hair and was shocked by the heat coming off her head. “That’s because they are. They’re as frightened, and as lost, as we are. They’re just trying to help by making us think that things are still normal. The news and weather make people feel like there’s still someone in charge.”
“And is there?”
“I guess so. The military are everywhere, ever since that General took over after Lloyd Collins died.
“Jerry?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m scared.”
“I know you are.”
***
Six hours later and the peeling had taken all of the skin from Kara’s neck; so much that her windpipe was now exposed. Jeremy wasn’t repulsed, though. The sight of rotting flesh had become commonplace now.
On the television, Sarah and Tom were still reporting about the peeling. They would both have usually left the station by now, and Jeremy was confused to see them still on air. By the weary looks on their faces, Jeremy had a grim feeling that, behind the cameras, the military had become the directors. Their promises of staying out of the station had obviously been overridden as things continued to deteriorate.
“While we are yet to receive confirmation, rumours have begun to circulate that researchers at the National Institute for Medical Research in London have made a breakthrough concerning the transmission method of the virus. We are persistent in our attempts to get more information on this matter, so please bear with us.”
“What difference doessss it make?” Kara’s voice had taken on a serpentine hiss as her throat rotted away. “Unless it’s a cure, it’s no good to anyone.”
Jeremy sucked in a breath and listened to it whistle between his teeth. His stomach felt empty, nauseous. While Kara was correct in her pessimism, it was still welcome news to hear that someone had possibly discovered something about the nature of the peeling. Knowledge made the virus seem more natural, and less like the flesh-consuming monster that it currently was. If people knew how it was passed on then the fight to contain it could finally begin. Not that Jeremy would have anything left in his life to fight for if mankind succeeded in destroying the beast.
“How do you feel?” he asked Kara.
She tried to laugh, but her tattered vocal chords seemed to lack the ability now. “I feel like my head’s going to fall off into my lap any minute. My neck feels numb, like it’s not even there anymore.”
Jeremy was about to tell her he was sorry, but then decided it would be a pointless gesture. Apologies would provide her no solace. Besides, she seemed to be getting more angry than brooding.
“This is probably what I deserve, you know?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’ve been fucking my sister’s husband – among my many other sins – and this is probably my punishment.”
Jeremy shook his head. “She forgives us.”
“What? She knows?”
“Yes. She told me earlier. She loves us both and forgives us.”
Kara hitched forward and tears were instant in their arrival. As they fell down her face, they gathered flakes of skin and a film of blood from her cheeks; so fragile was her flesh. “I’ll go to hell for what I’ve done. Carol can forgive – she’s a better person than us – but I doubt God will be so compassionate.”
“Don’t talk nonsense, Kara. We all do things we regret. Carol isn’t holding it against you, so you shouldn’t hold it against yourself, either.”
“Fuck you!” The outburst was sudden and vicious. “You’re the one that should be melting away, not my sister. You’re the one that’s spent your whole marriage fucking around. What did you ever do for her? Nothing! Yet she’s the one dying while you’re perfectly fine.”
Jeremy sighed and tried to keep his focus on the television. He had a feeling that she would strike at him if he made eye contact. “If I could take her place, I would.”
“You’re a liar. They have a cure at that news station. Look at them. They’re fine, just like you.”
Jeremy looked at Sarah’s tired face on the screen and shook his head. “Actually, one of the reporters has the virus. She showed me earlier.”
“Bullshit!” Kara sprung up from the couch. You have a cure, but you won’t share it. With me and Carol out of the way, you can carry on screwing around. Probably already got a new fancy-woman.”
Jeremy stood up and backed away. He could sense violence coming off of Kara and he wasn’t interested in stoking that particular fire. Nonetheless, she came at him, withered fingers outstretched like talons.
He stepped aside and shoved out, sending her sprawling back onto the couch. As she fell, her legs shot forward and upended the coffee table. Immediately her ankle began to bleed. She clutched at it and sobbed.
“I’m fucking melting! What did I do to deserve this? I’m not a bad woman, not really. I don’t deserve this. I don’t. I don’t.”
Jeremy left while she was distracted. A madness seemed to have overtaken her and his presence seemed to make it worse. He felt endangered; an enemy inside his own home. He wanted to see Carol. He wanted to be with his wife.
At the top of the stairs, the noise of the television faded away and Jeremy was again met with the eerie silence of the landing. There was every chance that Carol was already dead; part of him wanted that peace for her. If she had passed on then he would just sit with her awhile and hope that, somewhere, someplace, she was still with him. But when he opened the door, he saw that the mercy of death had not yet visited his wife.
Carol lay on the bed, looking more like a puddle than a human being. Her skin clung to her now only in patches and in many places her bones were showing clearly. But her eyes…her eyes were still flawless. Beautiful.
He sat down on the bed and went to touch her, but then realised there was nowhere he could do so without causing her pain. “I love you, Carol. I wanted to tell you that one more time.”
It was an obvious effort for Carol to form words, but she seemed eager to do so all the same. “I…love…you…too.”
“I wish I had more time with you. I wish there was tim
e to make it all okay. I’m going to miss you every minute till the time I join you. I just hope that when I get there, you’ll be waiting for me. If not, though…I’d understand.”
Carol’s eyes flickered as if fighting away sleep – or death. Jeremy wasn’t sure if she’d heard the words he’d just spoken, but he hoped so. Eventually she came back to him and managed to speak again. “Please, Jerry…please.”
“What, sweetheart? What do you want?” But she didn’t need to answer. He knew what she was asking for. He nodded, felt tears well up behind his eyes. “Okay.”
Jeremy leant forward and kissed his wife’s forehead. His lips came away moist and sticky, but he did not care. Trying to be as gentle as possible, he pulled loose one of the pillows beneath his wife’s head. Her eyes stared at him intently, and he knew that if she could, she would have been smiling. By doing what he was about to do, Jeremy could show his wife the kindness in death that he could not give her in life.
Jeremy put the pillow to his wife’s face and pressed down. It took only a minute for her to die.
***
Jeremy sat with Carol for almost a full hour before he left her. He knew that once he exited the bedroom, she would truly be gone forever. Part of him had also been curious to see whether her body would continue to rot away after death. It had not. If he’d obeyed her requests earlier then her body would have been more intact as it was lying there now. It was just one more regret to add to his list.
Downstairs, Kara was missing. The television was still switched on, and if he wasn’t mistaken the volume had been increased. Sarah and Tom were still reporting and there was an urgency about them now that he’d never seen before. He looked around the living room, but found only shadows.
“It has now been categorically proven,” Sarah said on the television, “that the virus is passed on through carriers. While only fifty-percent of those exposed to the infection become symptomatic, it has been discovered that the other fifty-percent are not immune as originally thought. The seemingly unaffected are in fact passing on the virus by becoming highly-infectious carriers. While half of the population is dying, it is the other half that is infecting them. It is for this reason that a nationwide quarantine is now in effect. Healthy or infected – all will be restrained if found outside their homes at any times. Lethal force will be used if necessary. Through isolation, it is hoped that the infection will reach a saturation point and that none-symptomatic sufferers will remain healthy. There is still hope for a great deal of us, Great Britain, but we must stay calm, and we must stay indoors. Never Stop News is now the official channel for the British Government, along with the BBC, so please leave your television on at all times for further updates. We will be interspersing our regular newsfeed with episodes of Friends and The Simpsons, so sit back and enjoy that as it’s coming up next.”
The Peeling Trilogy Page 4
