“You ever think about going to find them?” I ask him.
“No,” he shakes his head. “They’re all the way in Texas. There’s no way I’d be able to get to them.”
“You could get a boat on the other side of the state,” I shrug to him.
“And do what? I don’t know how to drive a boat,” Marko laughs. “Besides, if we get to Dayton alive, I might think about going to look for them, but I don’t know.” He drifts off and I look at him, lost in thought and wonder what he’s not telling me. I want him to say whatever he’s thinking, but I feel like if I just remain silent long enough, he’ll continue. So I sit there next to him, looking out at blue skies and a dead parking lot. My patience pays off. “Your papa came all the way from Michigan, right?” I nod to him. “Look what happened to him. Look at all the stuff he went through. I mean, we have no clue what he experienced, but the evidence is proof enough of what’s out there. He’d seen some stuff, you know? I can’t help but think that if I go to Texas, I’m going to get into the same kind of situation. I’m going to find some terrible things there too. And truthfully, your papa got lucky. He actually found what he was looking for. I’m not so sure I’d be that lucky.”
I look at him and think the exact same thing. My father got extremely lucky and I don’t know how many other people would be lucky enough to find the same outcome. How many people didn’t make it out there? How many cities are completely burned, shot, or blown off the map now? There seems to be a myriad of dark possibilities out there. I look at Marko and I can’t help but feel bad for him. He has such a large family. I hope that when we get to Dayton, he might have the chance to go looking for them. Texas is a long way off and he’d have to cross the initial Quarantine Zone to get there, but I think that it would be worth it. I think some closure would be worth everything. After all, my father dying did just that for me.
“Hey, I think we should go check out the last building,” Lexi says, startling me and Marko. “There might be weapons in there and the boys think that it’s worth having a look.”
“I doubt there’s anything,” I say to her.
“That’s what I told them,” Lexi said. “But they’re all antsy and stir crazy right now, so I say, why the hell not? If it gets them to shut up and play commando a little more, I think it’s a win.”
“Fine,” I say to her.
“I’m game,” Marko says, pushing himself off the tailgate of the truck. “I could use the walk.”
I don’t think it’s a good idea, but before I can say anything, Lexi swoops in. “Fine, but I’m going with you,” she says, shooting a glance at me. She knows that I’m worried about his blood loss and fatigue, but Lexi is willing to take over babysitting. “Greg, help your girlfriend carry the radiator and hoses out to the car,” Lexi shouts over her shoulder. “Noah, Marko, and I are going to go check out the last building.”
“Are you sure?” Greg says with a cheerful tone that’s trying to mask his disappointed reality. He wants to go play soldier and adventure with all the others, instead, he’s stuck with the group mom. I look at him and shake my head. “I mean, I’ll go with Val, so long as you guys think it’s safe to split up,” he adds.
“They’ll be fine, Captain America,” I say to him as I scoop up the hoses and Marko’s toolbox.
“We’ll be fine, man,” Noah says, a little pissed-off sounding. Clearly Marko’s taking away from the alone time that he wants with Lexi. I look at Greg as the others walk away, his shoulders slumped forward and his eyes following them longingly. He couldn’t look more like a disappointed little boy right now.
I start walking toward the fence, ignoring him as he calls after me. I don’t want to argue. He hasn’t paid a drop of attention to me all day today, which I’m normally fine with, but this isn’t a normal day. We’ve been out in the open world and there are things out here that can kill us. We are completely alone out here and all he can think about doing is pretending to be a macho, gun-toting commando. It’s the end of the world. I get it. He’s used guns and as a guy is inclined to pretend to be a professional at it. We’ve all used guns. We’ve all stood guard at the beach house. But I doubt anyone here, aside from Lexi and me, have ever used a gun under pressure. The way he is acting is childish and it’s annoying. He and Noah deserve each other right now.
“Babe, where are you going?” he calls after me as he races to catch up with me.
“Back to the car,” I answer, as if it isn’t obvious enough.
“Yeah, but why don’t you want to walk with me?” he breathes heavily.
“Because you don’t want to walk with me,” I answer.
“What?” He acts like he has no idea what I’m talking about.
“Greg, why don’t you just go play adventure with everyone else,” I tell him, too exhausted emotionally to argue with him right now. I love Greg, but he can be so oblivious sometimes. He runs in front of me and stops, blocking my path to the fence. “Get out of my way, Greg,” I say to him in a very certain tone.
“No, not until you tell me what’s bothering you,” he says defiantly. That’s a can of worms that he doesn’t want to open, but there’s no telling him that right now. I look at him without saying a word, staring at him and wondering where my sweet, caring boyfriend is behind those vacant, confused eyes.
“Don’t worry about it,” I say to him, slipping past him and making my way toward the fence.
“How exactly am I not supposed to worry about it?” Greg asks, following after me. “You’re acting strange, Val.”
“Am I?” I duck under the fence and turn around, looking at him through the mangled chain link. “Am I acting strange, Greg? My father was murdered yesterday, I’m dealing with two grown men acting like children playing war, and my boyfriend doesn’t really understand what the word appropriate means when dealing with this kind of a situation. I mean, grow up, Greg. It was funny when we first arrived, but start using your head. You and Noah are like a couple of kids playing a videogame. Look around you. Everyone is gone. Everyone left a long time ago and if there was anyone here, they would have come out to deal with us a whole lot sooner than now.”
“You don’t think I’m taking everything we’ve seen today seriously?” Greg’s voice is rising, no doubt matching his temper. Boys’ egos get hurt so easily. “You think I’m just all jokes and giggles about this?” He gestures at the devastation all around us. “Is that what you think?”
“It is,” I answer angrily, turning back toward the Sidekick on the far side of the smashed pick-up truck.
“I’m taking all of this deathly serious,” Greg shouts as he ducks under the opening in the fence. “I’m just not hiding it and bottling it up. I’m ready to do what’s necessary to protect us.”
“Then why is the safety on?” I point at the shotgun held in his hand. “The first rule of gun safety, Greg. Keep your weapon on safe until you’re ready to fire. If you’re ready, then why is the safety on?”
With that his face goes slack and he looks down without a reply. The same thing was going on with Noah. I noticed it immediately. Their safeties were still on and their fingers were on the triggers. Those are two of the most basic amateur mistakes in the book. If I’d seen any sign of danger here, I would have told them immediately, but chances are, they would have shot one of us had I told them to take their weapons off of safe. I look at Greg, whose cheeks are slowly beginning to flush red with embarrassment and frustration with me. I don’t want him upset, but he can be as angry and frustrated with me as he wants, the fact still remains. He’s in over his head out here.
Greg snatches the keys off the tire and unlocks his door, setting the radiator down in the floorboards where his feet are going to be while I put the hoses in the back seat, in my spot. Walking around the car to my silent, brooding man, I put a hand on his shoulder and push him back against the car, getting his attention.
“Greg, I love you,” I tell him honestly and truthfully. “There’s no one I care more about than you an
d Lexi, but I don’t know what’s out there. I don’t know what’s waiting for us between here and Dayton. It’s going to be dangerous and it’s going to be terrifying, but I need to know that you’re going to have your head where it needs to be. You’re a good shot in practice, but this isn’t an adventure game, it’s not a videogame, and it’s not going to be fun in the sun. I can’t keep looking over my shoulder expecting you to be in danger if you’re going to come along with us, because that’s going to get us all killed. I can’t lose you, Greg. I want you there with me, but I don’t want to bury you along the way somewhere. So drop the soldier boy game and start getting your head on straight. Alright?”
He looks at me silently, glaring at me. “You know,” he says with a terse expression on his face. “Sometimes, you can be a real—”
A gunshot echoes from between the buildings, rattling between the cars and we both immediately look toward the source of the sound. My anger vanishes in an instant, only to be replaced by fear. I can see Noah frustrated and trying to figure out why his gun isn’t working while Marko and Lexi run around the corner, towards us, heading to the fence. They all have their weapons drawn and Marko stops and spins to cover Noah, who isn’t running like he should be. I instinctively feel my hand dropping to my side, wrapping my fingers around the handle of my Sig, waiting to see what Noah is trying to shoot at. He manages to figure out the safety and lifts his shotgun and fires in a flash of light and smoke. Round after round he pulls the trigger until his ammunition is spent, hurled at whatever’s coming toward him. He squeezes the trigger when he’s out and fear consumes his features as he turns and runs past Marko.
Behind me, Greg has his shotgun raised, pointing directly at Marko and Lexi. I put a hand behind me, feeling his stomach. “That’s not going to do anything at this range,” I tell him. “You’re going to hit Lexi and Marko.”
“I know,” Greg snarls at me.
“Is the safety off?” I ask him.
I hear him clicking it off.
As Noah runs past Marko, we see exactly what he was firing at. They’re fast—faster than I would expect the walking dead to move. They come around the corner, their skin a pale gray, but their eyes are wide with a strange sort of frenzy. I’ve never seen people look like this. Their shoulders are slumped forward, their clothes in tattered shreds, hanging from their skeletal frames. Their appendages are all odd angles and stiff movements, yet they’re still faster than any one of us would have guessed. Most of them have long hair hanging in greasy wisps in front of their gaunt faces. They all of have their mouths open, gaping like black pits with fetid teeth lining them. As they walk, they don’t hold out their arms like they do in the movies. Instead, they rush with alarming speed. Marko stands alone between the creatures and the rest of us as Lexi and Noah near the fence. He’s alone. Abandoned. I draw my Sig and wave Lexi and Noah to the side to avoid the line of fire.
I squeeze the trigger just as Marko begins to fire from both of his pistols. He’s firing blind and trying to retreat as he fights. My first shot clips one of the Zombies in the shoulder, causing the creature to whirl around before collapsing to the ground. To my extreme horror, that’s enough to cause those around it to spin and turn on their injured comrade, biting and tearing at his flesh. In just moments he’s reduced to torn limbs and a twitching torso covered in bite marks and gore. Chunks of his flesh are torn away by the teeth of those like him before my view is finally obscured by the mob of undead that feed upon him. This gives Marko just enough time to turn and start running. I watch as Lexi crawls carefully under the fence as if she’s old and decrepit, wondering if she’s injured herself somehow. Noah slides under like a baseball pro, and I turn to watch Marko’s retreat, gasping in horror as his toe catches and he stumbles. Regaining his feet, Marko continues to run, but he’s limping, his face a mask of both pain and fear. He’s twisted his ankle, and is moving too slow.
I keep my eyes on the horde that’s surging past and over those that feed on their own fallen. As more and more start rounding the corner of the building ahead, I feel a sinking sensation deep in my stomach. Marko isn’t moving fast enough. I squeeze the trigger and hit one of the creatures square in the chest. Buckling its shoulders forward, the thing drops to its knees, skidding a little before collapsing and drawing the attention of some others who drop down and start sinking their teeth into their dead companion. It slows the mob, but only barely so. To my utmost horror, even less have taken note of this fallen creature than did the last. They’ve lost their interest in eating their own and continue chasing after their fleeing victim.
“Run your ass off, Marko!” Greg shouts with an angry tone tainted with terror.
“Come on, Marko!” Lexi screams.
I refuse to squeeze the trigger without a clear shot. There are dozens of the monsters chasing after Marko and every bullet has to count. I get a single gap and fire, taking another one of the bastards in the throat as I move to the side hoping for a better vantage. The creature’s head whips back and it topples over, taking a few down to the dust with it, but it’s too late. One of them grabs Marko’s shoulder and stops him, pulling him back toward the snapping jaws and the wide, delirious eyes. The creature bites down onto the fleshy muscle above his collarbone and immediately I see blood spilling down his chest. Marko screams in agony, his eyes going wide as the creature hurls him away as other monsters slam into them. Marko hits the fence, grasping at the wire with panic on his face. Blood pours from the dark, gaping wound near his neck. The undead are nearly upon him again, but we finally have a clear line of fire. Dozens of bullets are unleashed in mere seconds as fire and smoke bellow from the ends of our barrels, but I know it’s not enough.
Zombie after Zombie, the creatures are laid waste, holes punching through them as thick, dark blood sprays into the air before pooling upon the pavement. But the bloodbath only increases their fury and rage as they trample their fallen kin to get at us. I wonder if it isn’t the scent of fresh blood that drives them to such madness as I look down my barrel, watching it kick up an inch as a head explodes just feet away.
My trigger clicks uselessly. All of my ammo is in the car. Greg’s shotgun roars its last round and he draws his pistol, firing until it’s empty, to little effect. Noah is the same, unloading everything he has at the things, but it’s useless. Marko fights with all he has, kicking and punching, lashing out with the butt of one of his pistols, but they’ve got him. It’s only seconds before he realizes it. He screams for help and inside me something dies. I watch as he turns amongst the grasping fingers and ripping teeth, pressing his face to the fence as he looks at us with terror in his eyes.
I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder and I know that it’s Greg. He wraps his arm around my waist and starts dragging me back toward the Sidekick as I shout Marko’s name. His screams echo across the barren waste, hitting me as I look at his bloody face slammed against the fence again and again. His eyes meet mine, and I know that I’m to blame for this. He knows it too.
Chapter Thirteen
I don’t remember them pulling me into the Sidekick. All I remember is the world whipping past as the thoughts of what just happened race around like a whirlwind in my mind. I feel sick. All I can see is Marko’s face. Only his face twisted in suffering and horror as those things were eating him. They were ravenous horrors, things that I’ve never seen or imagined before. Just that they exist torments me. Why would such a thing be allowed to happen?
Those were the Zombies that they were talking about on the radio. Those were the cannibalistic horrors that were roaming the world, feeding on the survivors. They weren’t the walking dead. They weren’t things that I saw on movie screens before all of this happened. No, they were definitely alive. When I shot them and their fellow Zombies started ripping them apart, there was blood. There were copious amounts of blood. I shudder at the thought of it. Those things were living, breathing humans. Something was very wrong with them, but they were definitely human. I stare out the window at the
vast expanse. The world is so much worse than we thought.
“It’s all my fault,” I say, looking out the passenger window as my feet brush up against the radiator that Marko had given his life for. The world beyond the window doesn’t care that he’s dead, the only people who care are us. I look at the world beyond the window and can’t help but feel sick.
“It’s not your fault, babe,” Greg says, reaching over from behind the wheel. I look at him and know that he’s saying that just so I won’t feel bad. But I’ve passed that bridge and I’ve burned it. There’s no going back. I feel awful. Marko is dead because of me. “That could have been anyone.”
“No,” I shake my head. “Lexi and I could have taken the Sidekick to Dayton. We could have gone by ourselves. Marko would still be alive and he’d be at home with Katrina right now.”
“Val, Marko knew the risks,” Lexi tells me, but I know that it’s not a valid response. We all knew the risks in a vague, ambiguous sense of the meaning. The reality of what’s out there, the true risk, that’s something far more tangible and horrifying. If I had told Marko that flesh-crazed monsters were out there, waiting to devour him, then that would have been different. He wouldn’t have taken the risk. No one but Lexi and I would have taken the risk. Everything that has happened and everything that will happen is on my hands now.
“He should have ran faster,” Noah says bitterly. I can’t help but picture him, running past Marko, caring only about getting himself and Lexi under the fence. I don’t want him with us after we leave. I don’t want someone who is going to put his own life and the life of Lexi on a higher plane than the rest of us. It’s too dangerous.
LEFT ALIVE (Zombie series Box Set): Books 1-6 of the Post-apocalyptic zombie action and adventure series Page 59
