by Gina Azzi
28
Charlie
One Month Later
“Are you ready for this weekend?” Trent shimmies into my room, holding a massive wine glass, which he passes to me.
“I’m ready!” I toss my mascara back into my makeup bag and turn, accepting the wine glass and taking a large sip. “I can’t believe Baker Designs already offered you a full-time job.” I grin at my BFF, so happy to celebrate his full-time employment with him.
“Right? I totally lucked out with Mary Beth deciding not to come back after she gave birth. But it’s a win for everyone. She’s so happy to be at home with the twins.” He wrinkles his nose. “And I’m gainfully employed.”
“That’s all that matters,” I agree, checking him with my hip as I slip past him and enter my kitchen. “Is Kevin coming?”
“He’s meeting us at the restaurant. His meeting ran late.” Trent rolls his eyes and picks up my coat. “You all set, babe? You look fierce as fuck.”
“You, my friend, are a giver,” I say by way of thanks, slipping into my coat. “Let’s do this. Tonight, I’m buying all your drinks.”
“Careful there, Char. You don’t earn enough yet to be throwing declarations like that around.” Trent slings his arm around my shoulder as I lock the door, and we head toward the elevator.
I laugh, snuggling closer to my best friend.
New York City has been a godsend. True, my first few weeks here were rough. I was mopey and heartbroken. Each day felt like a struggle. But gradually, I found my footing. I adore my job and still pinch myself that I get to spend each day learning and experimenting. Two senior female associates have taken me under their wings and having that connection, that badass girl power, has been a salve to my soul and a window to my future.
Truth is, I can create the life I want. Yes, I miss Evan and Ollie. Sure, it’s been hard being so far from Mom. But the life I’m making for myself here is the one I’ve dreamed of, and I’ve started waking up grateful for that, for what is, instead of pining for what was and will never be again.
The elevator doors ding open, and Trent and I walk through the building of my lobby and out into the street. I pull my scarf tighter around my neck and tuck my hands into the cuffs of my coat sleeves. Even though it’s now March, spring seems far away as the icy tendrils of winter are hanging on with everything they’ve got. Still, it’s milder than Chicago this time of year, and I find myself looking at things through a new lens—a rosier one.
It feels good to gain some independence again. To be happy right where I am.
“Where are we going again?”
“Millie’s on Twelfth Street,” Trent answers, steering me to turn left.
“Oh, I hear they have great drinks.”
“They do. Their mixologist,” Trent groans, “Aussie accent.”
I laugh, loving how Trent can find something wildly attractive about pretty much everyone.
We’re still discussing the sex appeal of an Australian versus a Scottish versus a Southern accent when we enter Millie’s. Trent spots Kevin immediately. He’s already seated at a window table, his face open as he chats with another guy. The man’s back is to us, but he looks vaguely familiar. “Is that Kevin’s client?” I ask Trent, but he doesn’t hear me, just keeps leading me toward the table.
As I step closer, the man turns and I freeze, shock locking down my limbs, as Shamrock green eyes pierce mine.
“Evan,” I murmur, my hand coming up to cover my mouth as I try to process what he’s doing here, with Kevin of all people.
“Charlie,” he breathes out my name, his expression tender. He stands from his chair as Kevin steps forward and directs me to his empty seat.
“You guys have a great dinner,” Trent says cheerily. “We’ll see you later for drinks. ‘Bye!” He links his arm with Kevin, and the two of them walk toward the door, leaving Evan and me and a table with two colorful cocktails.
“Please, have a seat.” Evan gestures, and I plop down on Kevin’s vacated chair. “I’m sure you’re surprised.”
“That’s the understatement of the century.” I laugh, shocked but also happy, deliriously happy that he’s here. In my city. Looking like…him. Sans Dad bod. “You’re really here.”
“God, I missed you,” he says, drinking me in like he hasn’t seen me in eons instead of a handful of months. “You look beautiful. Happy.”
“I am,” I say, nodding at his assessment. “It took a minute, but I’ve found my footing here.”
“I’m glad, Charlie.” Evan grins. “And work?”
“It’s the best.”
His smile widens. “Want to order and then tell me all about it?”
“Sure,” I agree, scanning the menu. “But first, you have to tell me what you’re doing here.”
When the server pops by, Evan and I order a few appetizers and entrees and a bottle of wine. It’s strange, how easily we fall back into a natural rhythm. If someone told me I’d be having dinner with Evan Holt, I would guess it would be awkward. Or stifled. Or sad.
Instead, it’s easy and effortless. I feel excited and a little bit giddy.
“I’ll tell you everything, why I’m here, all of it. But first, I need to know you’re really happy here. Tell me about your job, about your work,” Evan says as I open my mouth to pepper him with questions, my curiosity burning for answers.
I sigh, giving him a look.
He waves a hand, beckoning for me to fill him in on all the things related to my new position. I quickly give him the abridged version.
“Wow. That’s amazing that you have two mentors already,” he says, dishing some salad onto my plate.
“I know. Alicia and Deja are incredible. I feel so fortunate to have connected with them. They are both super talented and creative. Deja has been teaching me a lot about sustainable design, and I love learning about how to create spaces that are both aesthetically pleasing but environmentally conscious.”
“I’m proud of you, Charlie.”
“Thanks, Ev. Now tell me, for real, what are you doing here?” I place my fork down and take a sip of my drink, knowing we are getting to the important part of the conversation. Shivers break out on my arms, and I feel a strange sensation, almost like champagne bubbles, popping in my stomach. Why is he here?
I know better than to think he’s here for me. But seeing him here, with Kevin…is he here for me? Hope floats just out of reach, so close my fingertips can almost brush it, but too elusive to hang onto. I need to hear his words; I need him to make sense of all the thoughts tumbling over each other in my mind.
“I’m here for a couple of reasons,” Evan says, folding his napkin and setting it next to his plate. He leans forward, his eyes latching onto mine. “I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t missed you. I’ve missed you so much I hurt.”
I gasp, not expecting something so revealing to fall from his lips.
“I know you sacrificed us, your happiness, for Sophie.”
“Ev—”
He holds up his hand, shaking his head. “Please. Let me say this. I know you did it because of Ollie.”
“I love him,” I say truthfully.
“I love you,” Evan replies.
My mouth drops open, and my heart practically weeps. “You do?” I whisper, afraid I heard him wrong.
“I do,” Evan says, his eyes soft. “I’ve been falling for you for a long time, Charlie. I haven’t always done the right things. I definitely have said the wrong ones.”
I grin, tears collecting in the corners of my eyes. To any of the patrons in Millie’s who glance our way, I must look half deranged. But I don’t care. I hang onto Evan’s words like they are the holy grail. In a way, they are.
“But you’ve always been consistent, Charlie. You’ve always given me and my son the very best of you, even when it was at odds with your own happiness. I don’t know how I can make it up to you, or prove to you that I want this, us, to work without being where you are. I know you’re worried about Franki
e’s reach in Chicago. I know your life is here. Baby, I’m moving to New York. I once told you to do you, and I’d make the rest work. Please, give me another shot to prove it to you.”
“You’re…moving here?”
He nods, reaching across the table and taking my hand in his. “It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got time.” I gesture for him to continue.
He chuckles. “It was Sophie’s idea.”
“Sophie?” I ask, trying to figure out where she fits into all of this. “How is she?”
“She’s doing really great. She has another month of rehab, and then she wants to move here. Her sister lives here, and she wants to be close to her family, her nephews. She said she wouldn’t move unless it was a family decision and…well, we’re moving.”
“Ollie?” I ask, wondering how he feels about all of this.
“Quickly pointed out that this is where you live.”
I sigh in relief, my shoulders slumping as my emotions get the best of me.
“Baby, why are you crying?” Evan asks gently, leaning even closer to brush away my tears.
“I thought he hated me,” I admit. After that awful day at the park, Ollie and I barely had a real conversation. Part of me knows that I was so gutted over losing Evan because I also lost Ollie. I hate that he somehow saw me as competition to his mom’s place in his life.
“Never,” Evan swears, shaking his head. “He misses you.”
“So you and Sophie are…”
“Figuring out how to co-parent,” he says, passing me a napkin to blot my cheeks. “She knows there is no future for us, and to be honest, I think she’s relieved. She’s learning how to rebuild her life, to figure out who she is. She wants to be Ollie’s mom and that’s enough, more than enough, for both of us. I also think she’s really grateful to you. For everything.”
I bite my bottom lip to try and get some control over my runaway feelings. “God, I’ve missed you so much,” I admit.
Evan strokes the back of my hand, a streak of emotion blazing across his face. “You have no idea, Charlie. No idea.”
“Where will you live?” I ask, the logistics of his move suddenly at the forefront of my mind.
“I’ll rent a place for Ollie and me. Sophie’s sister has agreed to have her stay with them for the next few months while she transitions.”
“Wow.”
“I know.”
“Oh my God, what about work? Can you even practice law in New York?” I ask, suddenly alarmed. Evan’s entire identity is wrapped up in his career…what will he do if he can’t be a criminal defense lawyer?
“I can. But I’m not sure I want to.”
“What?” My brow furrows in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, this is a fresh start. All the way around. I want to be with you, Charlie. I want to build the life that we both want, that will make you happy. I want to be early to Ollie’s soccer games and have more time to take him ice skating. I want to play hockey, maybe even coach. I want a job that makes me feel excited and fills me up with satisfaction instead of draining me of everything.”
“Oh my God,” I whisper. “Who are you?”
He laughs. “I hope I’m becoming a better man. One worthy of you.”
“You’ve always been worthy of me.”
He shakes his head, his fingers lacing with mine. “Not even close, babe.”
“You’re moving to New York.”
“I’m moving to you,” he says, shifting his weight and leaning forward until he can press a quick kiss against my lips. “I love you, Charlie.”
My palms find his cheeks and hold his face. Peering into his deep green eyes, I finally let go of all my doubts, all my reservations. I let go of everything except the immense joy that Evan’s presence fills me with. “I love you too, Evan Holt. I have for a long time.”
Epilogue
Evan - The following christmas
“Merry Christmas Eve!” Ollie announces as he pulls open the door to our apartment.
“Merry Christmas!” Maddie rushes him, wrapping her arms around his waist as she snuggles her face into his sweater. “I’m here for five whole days, Ollie.”
“I know, Maddie,” he replies, hugging her back. “I missed you.”
Zoe’s eyes shimmer with unshed tears as she gives me an endearing look behind her daughter. She hustles Maddie into the apartment and steps inside, holding the door for Eli and baby James.
“Come here little guy.” Charlie holds out her arms, and Eli plops James into them.
With one hand holding James, Charlie wraps her other arm around Zoe and pulls her into a hug. “Missed you and your sweet babies.”
“Miss you every day, Charlie,” Zoe says, hugging her best friend hard.
Ollie leads Maddie to the playroom. Charlie and Zoe disappear into the kitchen with talk of wine. I grin at my brother as he wheels two suitcases into the foyer and drops an overflowing diaper bag on the floor. “Merry Christmas, Eli.”
My brother snorts. “Zoe went overboard on the gifts this year.”
“It’s James’s first Christmas,” I point out as Eli and I exchange a very manly hug.
He slaps my back. “Christ, it’s good to see you.”
“We’re so happy you guys came for the holidays.”
Eli pulls back and nods. “Us too. We miss you guys, but I gotta say,” he says, glancing around our apartment, “New York suits you. I’m really happy for you, man.”
“Thanks.” I steer him toward the living room. “Want a drink?”
“Like you even have to ask. I just took a flight with a baby and a four-year-old.”
I laugh, pouring two tumblers of Scotch on the side bar.
“Fancy,” Eli whistles. But when he lifts his glass in my direction, his face is solemn. “To dreams come true.”
“To dreams come true,” I echo, dropping into the chair beside him.
“Man, what a year.” He sighs, stretching out his legs. “How’s work?”
“It’s good. It’s really good,” I reply, taking a sip of Scotch. Changing careers after years as a criminal defense attorney wasn’t easy. Some might say it was crazy. For sure, I took a huge pay cut. But between my savings and the sale of our Chicago home and other assets, we were able to buy a cozy three-bedroom apartment on the Upper East Side. These days, I spend my time working at a media and public relations company. Connor’s girl, Harlow, helped me score the interview. Given my past representing members of organized crime syndicates, I understood the importance of re-branding. But the work is all new, even if my core clientele is not. “I love being on a different side of the coin. It’s a lot more fun to sign guys up for charity work and be part of good causes then it is to defend them in a courtroom.”
Eli chuckles.
“Plus, the hours are a million times better. My weekends are mostly mine. I’m going to coach Ollie’s hockey team this season.”
Eli’s eyebrow quirks. “Ollie’s playing hockey now? What happened to soccer?”
I shrug. “He wants to try something new.”
“Wow, look at the Holts. Mixing everything up and trying new things.”
I chuckle. “It’s crazy, right?”
Eli shakes his head. “Nah, man. It’s right. You’re doing it all right.”
“Thank you,” I say sincerely, taking another sip of my drink. “What about you guys?”
“We’re…tired.”
I snort. “James not sleeping through the night?”
“Not even once,” my brother responds, but he shoots me a grin and I know that despite his lack of sleep, he wouldn’t change a thing. “When are you going to put a ring on it?” He flips his chin toward the kitchen where Charlie and Zoe are talking a million miles a minute.
“Would New Year’s Eve be too soon?”
Eli sits up straight and turns to stare at me. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. I don’t want to start another year without the promise of making Charlie mine.”
“Holy shit,” Eli says. “Jesus. Evan, congratulations.”
“She hasn’t said yes yet.”
“Fuck off, bro.” Eli laughs. “You know she’s been dying for a proposal.”
I grin, knowing firsthand that Zoe and Charlie have discussed engagement rings in such painstaking detail that I’ve designed Charlie’s dream ring. “I can’t wait to marry her.”
“I’m happy for you, Evan.”
“Thanks, man.” I grin at my brother.
“So what’s the plan for this week?”
“Well, Ollie wants to decorate the tree with Maddie tonight.”
Eli nods.
“Christmas Eve is here. Christmas Day Ollie is going to be with Sophie and his aunt and uncle and cousins, but Charlie and I are down for whatever you guys want to do. Or not do if you just want to celebrate the four of you.”
“Nah, we want to be with you guys. We’re checking into our hotel tonight but have no other plans.”
“Sleep here tomorrow night? I know Ollie and Maddie want to do Christmas morning together.”
My brother juts his chin toward the suitcases in the foyer. “Hence, the gifts.”
I snicker. “Zoe really did go overboard.”
“Man, you have no idea. In all fairness, Mom and Derrek’s gifts are in there, too. They’re not as sad as I thought they’d be at missing Christmas with their grandkids.”
“Hard to be sad in the Caribbean.”
“True. They are doing retirement well.”
We both laugh.
“Dad.” Ollie enters the living room, Maddie close on his heels. “Can we start decorating now?”
“Absolutely, big man.” I stand from my chair, placing my Scotch on a side table. I pull some bins of ornaments out of the closet I stored them in earlier this week.
Sitting back down, Eli and I watch as Maddie and Ollie rummage through the boxes.
“Oh, I love this one!” Maddie squeals, running her hand over a snowflake ornament with glitter.
“Hot chocolate,” Charlie announces, entering the room with a tray piled with steaming mugs and a bowl of marshmallows.
