by Tinnean
Or he didn’t want to understand. “Mr. Matheson, I’ve been disowned by my father.”
“Excuse me?”
“When my father learned I was gay, he told me he no longer had a son and threw me out of the house.” I shrugged, hoping to conceal the fact the pain was still as fresh as it had been that day more than twelve years before.
“Jesus.” He turned to his son. “And that’s why you asked if I still loved you? You thought I might….”
“It happens, Dad.”
“Not in this family, it doesn’t!” He hugged Wills fiercely. His gaze met mine over Wills’s shoulder. I could see he was still concerned, but he was also staunchly behind his son. “I don’t expect you to call me dad, Theo. But call me Jack. Welcome to the family, son.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Wills whispered, his eyes bright with unshed tears.
Jill came bustling in. “Jack, your brother is here, and so is his brood. Start the grill, please? The kids all claim they’re starving. Alice and I will bring out the potato salad and coleslaw. Get the hot dogs and hamburgers, Wills. Theo, you’re in charge of the paper plates and the plastic forks and knives.”
“Yes, ma’am.” The tableau broke up, and we all hurried to obey her.
AS IT turned out, Wills and I didn’t make love in the house in Cambridge. He was upfront about it.
“I’m sorry, Theo. I didn’t expect to feel so uncomfortable… I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, babe.” I kissed him chastely. “There are other things we can do. Or I can even sleep on the floor if you prefer.”
“No. I prefer you in my bed with me.”
“Cool.”
After the youngest kids had been put to bed, exhausted from the afternoon in the pool and the evening playing tag and hide-and-seek, after JR and Marti and the older kids settled in the family room watching videos and eating popcorn, and the adults chatted and drank a last cup of coffee in the dining room, he brought me out to his tree house.
We climbed to the topmost part of it—“The lookout or the crow’s nest, depending on if we were playing Beau Geste or Captain Blood,” he told me, and I was secretly charmed at the image of my lover as a legionnaire or a pirate—where we sat, our arms around each other, and watched the stars winking through the leafy branches of the old oak.
“Wills, you said you and your friend Michael used to spend the night here in the tree house.”
“Yes.”
“Did you ever…,” I started to ask, but did I want to know if he and Michael had fooled around? I decided I didn’t, but before I could tell Wills “never mind,” he began speaking.
“You’ve noticed I don’t drink too much?” I nodded. “When we were in college, especially in our sophomore and junior years, we went to all the fraternities’ keg parties and beer bashes. And since we lived on campus and driving wasn’t involved, it didn’t matter how wasted we got.”
I ran my fingertips through the hairs on his arm. He tipped his head back and stared up at the night sky. An almost full moon dimmed the light of the stars.
“Michael was the first guy I blew. But I never kissed him, and we never screwed around. Well, you knew that.”
Yeah, but I had the feeling that if Michael had pushed for penetrative sex, Wills would have agreed to it.
“There was one thing….”
I had to bite my lip to keep from spitting out, “Just one?”
Wills sighed. “He was always afraid. What if someone discovered us?”
“Didn’t it worry you?”
“No. I cared enough about him to….”
Be willing to take on the world for him? Jesus, this Michael was an idiot. He could have had someone like Wills, and he’d let him slip through his fingers.
Meanwhile, Wills was saying, “The first time we actually got physical, we’d gone to a beer bash at the Tri Gams’ house.” He gave a little smile. “The guys at Gamma Gamma Gamma knew how to throw a party. There was beer, girls, beer, chips, beer…. That night Michael handed me one beer after another.”
Had Michael planned to get him drunk? Wills had defended his friend so staunchly earlier, I decided against asking.
“Their mascot was this five-foot-tall red stuffed monkey, and I was so shit-faced, I spent most of the evening—when I wasn’t downing another beer—dancing with it. Anyway, Michael finally decided it was time to go home. We had a two-room suite on the top floor, so he put me to bed. I woke up once during the night to find him spooned up behind me, and I assumed he’d passed out before he could get to his own bed. The second time I woke up, he was blowing me.”
“So at least he returned the favor.”
“Yeah.” Wills met my gaze. “And he knew what he was doing. He didn’t bite, he didn’t gag, and he wasn’t tentative. But….”
“But?”
“He really tensed up if I got too loud. He was always afraid I’d wake up the whole house. Maybe that was why I usually went down on him.”
I ground my teeth together so hard a nerve twinged.
“Later he said, ‘God, I was pretty fucking drunk last night! And if my girlfriend had been here instead of you, I would have boinked her brains out.’”
Straight boys—or boys who weren’t certain if they were straight or not—could be such assholes. “What did you say to that?”
“I said, ‘Boinked, Michael? We’re college men. We don’t boink. We fuck.’ But you know, he didn’t see Crystal as much after that. We were friends with benefits for the rest of that semester, but just after finals week concluded, he got back together with his girlfriend. Here I’d been picturing…. Well, it didn’t matter. He went home to Virginia—”
“I thought he lived in Cambridge.”
“His dad’s job transferred him to Virginia. Michael was so pissed. You’d have thought Mr. Shaw did it just to make life miserable for him.”
I remembered Jack saying Michael could never—Michael Shaw? “The man who beat Paul gave his name as Michael Shaw.”
“What?” He shook his head. “It couldn’t be my Michael.”
His Michael? I wanted to spit.
“His funeral was on March 9.”
And Paul was beaten a couple of weeks later. Okay, so it wasn’t his Michael. “Where did you go?”
“What?”
“He went to Virginia. Where did you go?” To Virginia with that son of a bitch, Michael?
“Oh. No. Uncle Jake had another construction job going on, so Dad and I spent the summer on Long Island working with him.” Abruptly, he changed the subject. “You had me pegged right, Theo. I am a cocksucker. I enjoy it.”
“Well, you’re my cocksucker.”
He leaned his head against my shoulder. “Want to know how many guys I’ve sucked off?”
Did he want to rip my heart out? “It doesn’t matter. It isn’t important.”
“I think it is.” He kissed the hinge of my jaw. “Two, Theo.”
Before we went back down to his bedroom, where we would cuddle and grope and make out until we fell asleep, he took out a penknife and carved into the railing, Wills loves Theo. There was nothing on the railing regarding Michael.
I had trouble saying the words, but… I took the penknife from him and carved just beneath it, And Theo loves Wills.
Chapter 21
I’D MET my lover’s family, and it had turned out better than I’d had any right to hope. None of them seemed to have a problem with the fact that Wills was in a same-sex relationship—if they did, they hid it well enough that neither of us could tell—and they all seemed to like me.
We returned to DC to find Paul and Spike ready to make the move out to California. Once Paul felt well enough, he’d flown out there, interviewed, and gotten a job at a perinatal center in a prestigious hospital in LA—he didn’t want to sit around the house watching Jerry Springer and eating bonbons either—and then found an apartment.
“Everything all set?”
“Yeah.” Paul gazed around the apartment that had been ho
me for the past ten years. “I’m… I’m….”
“Yeah, Paul.” I could feel my throat start to ache.
He cleared his throat. “Thanks for the offer to drive us to the airport,” he said to Wills, his words a little stiff. There was still some tension between the two of them.
“Not a problem.” Wills had arranged to take a personal day off from work.
“Spike, help Wills carry the bags down to the car, okay? Sweets… Theo… I just want to go through the place to make sure I have everything.”
“Sure.”
Wills’s eyebrow was raised, but he grabbed the handles of the two suitcases with the totes fastened to them and wheeled them out. Spike followed him with a couple of carry-ons dangling from his shoulders.
“Do you want to check your room first, or the living room, or— And promise to let me know if you want me to ship the rest of your furniture—”
“Theo, I have everything. I wanted to talk to you alone.”
“Oh. Okay, Paul.”
“I…. You know I love you like a brother.”
I nodded. “I feel the same way about you. I always have.”
“You could come with us,” he suggested.
“I don’t think Spike would appreciate that. He’ll finally get to play house with you. What’s he going to do while you’re working, by the way? Has he decided?”
“He said something about working in a local drugstore in hopes of being discovered.”
“Oh, God, don’t tell me he’s starstruck!”
“No, I think he was just teasing me. Sweets… Theo…. Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
“Yes.”
He blew out a breath and ran a hand over his hair. It was finally growing out, and that pleased him. He’d gotten a buzz cut after he’d left the hospital so the area that had been shaved wouldn’t be too noticeable. “Okay. I hope you are. Just remember, if you ever need me, I’m only a phone call away. And Tim is even closer.”
“Thanks, Paul. I appreciate knowing that. I’ll be fine, though. I’ve asked Wills to move in with me.”
“Yeah. Okay. Just… don’t expect happily ever after, okay?”
I recoiled. That was exactly what I’d been expecting. “What are you— What do you— You don’t think… Paul!”
“Shit. I’m sorry, Sweets.” He pulled me into a tight hug. “It’ll work out fine. I’m sure it will.”
But I could tell he wasn’t sure at all.
“Come on. I don’t want to miss our flight.”
“Sure, babe.”
WE ALL cried at the airport. Well, except for Wills, who stood back and let us say our good-byes. I was surprised when Paul hugged him, until I realized he was whispering something into Wills’s ear.
Wills got that cold look in his eyes. “Yeah? So what? He’s with me now.”
“Paul?”
Paul looked satisfied. “It’s okay.” He kissed my cheek and waited while Spike did the same. They shook Wills’s hand and then went to stand in line for the metal detectors.
“Do you mind if we wait until they go through?”
“I don’t mind.”
I wished I could slide an arm around his waist and lean into him, but I didn’t want to embarrass him in a public place. “Thanks.”
“Don’t be an ass.” He slid an arm around my waist and pulled me against him.
“Babe, what was Paul whispering about?”
He stared across the space to where my friends—the last link to my old life—were standing. For a second I thought he was going to ignore my question.
“Nothing important.”
“Wills.”
He hunched a shoulder. “He told me that he knows some guy named Tim. He said this Tim was a real badass, and that if I broke your heart, he was going to sic him on me.” He looked into my eyes. “I won’t break your heart, Theo. I swear it.”
I sniffed hard. “Damn. I hate saying good-byes in airports. They always make me cry.”
“They’ve gone through. Wave good-bye and let’s go home.”
WILLS LEANED against me as I gazed around the apartment. “I… uh….” I cleared my throat. “I guess now is as good a time as any for you to move in. Since you have the day off, and all.”
“I guess it is.” He looked thoughtful, but before I could start worrying, he said, “I’ll need to get my address changed at work and on my driver’s license. My library card.” He cut a glance my way.
Oh, my fucking God. He was really going to move in with me! He’d said he was, but somewhere in the back of my mind I was positive it would never happen.
I licked my lips. “Will you have a problem breaking your lease?”
He grinned, the corner of his mouth tilting in a way that made me want to strip off his clothes and rub myself all over his body. “No.”
We got boxes from the basement—it was dark even with the lights on, and cavernous, and it always gave me the creeps; I never went down there unless someone accompanied me—and went to Wills’s apartment to get him packed up. He didn’t have much, barely more than Vince when he’d first moved into the attic apartment. His laptop computer, a suitcase and duffel bag, some books and CDs, those photos, his clothes, a cedar chest that held a tool belt, steel-toed work boots, a hardhat with “Twink” stenciled across the front, and that pair of 501 jeans.
“Twink, babe?”
“I had a thing for Hostess Twinkies when I was younger.”
“Uh-huh.”
By the end of the day he was moved in. He was living with me.
We celebrated that night by eating a leg of lamb I’d bought earlier and roasted while he unpacked and then going to bed and boffing like bunnies all night.
The next morning I made him waffles for breakfast, dressed in just an apron. After he ate, I unzipped his fly, rolled a condom onto his cock, and sat down on him, having taken the time to prepare myself earlier.
“Jesus, Theo! Jesus!”
I didn’t want to mess up his nothing-special suit, so the apron was between us. He fisted my cock under it. After we’d both come, fast, furious, and hard, and we took a couple of minutes to catch our breath, I stripped off the condom and disposed of it.
“What do you feel like for dinner, babe?”
“You?”
I kissed him. “That’s a given.”
“Then whatever you’re in the mood to make.”
“Suppose I’m in the mood to make you?”
“I have no objections.” He glanced over at the clock on the wall. “Damn. I’ve got to go or I’ll be late. Surprise me, babe. You know I’ll love whatever you make. Or we could go out for something if you’d rather.” He kissed me and tucked his cock away.
“Wills.”
“Yeah, babe?”
“You’re going to need this.”
“What…. Oh!”
I handed him a key chain.
“Ah, babe!” He took it, kissed me again, ran a palm over my bare ass, then groaned. “I’ve got to go!”
“Go, baby. I’ll be here when you get home.”
I DECIDED to set up the other spare bedroom as an office for Wills. It shared a bathroom with my own office and had originally belonged to one of the boys who’d long since moved on.
While he was at work, I backed the old Corvair out of the driveway and drove to the furniture outlets in Rockville, Maryland.
I bought Wills a computer desk with a hutch and return. Right now his computer was on the floor in a corner, unused. There was no brand name on it, like Compaq or Toshiba or Dell. He’d probably built it himself—a man who troubleshot computers would know how to do that.
I ordered an entertainment stand and a TV/VCR combo and a DVD player to go on it, a sofa that was long enough for him to snooze on if he wanted to catch forty winks and wide enough for two if I joined him, end tables, lamps, paintings for the walls. I had to play it by ear for those, choosing a series of landscapes that represented each of the four seasons since the walls of his room i
n the house in Cambridge bore movie posters from the original Star Wars trilogy, The Terminator, and Aliens, as well as AC/DC, Slayer, and Megadeth, and his apartment in DC had had nothing on the walls.
If Paul had seen how much I’d spent, he’d have laughed his ass off.
EACH NIGHT after dinner, Wills would set up his computer on the dining room table—he was going to be so pleased with his office, once it was ready for him.
On this night, he was checking e-mail while I loaded the dishwasher, when suddenly I heard him swear.
“What is it, babe?”
“Deety.”
“Your brother’s dog?” She’d broken her leg just before the Memorial Day weekend, and we were waiting to hear how she was doing.
“Yeah. Jar just sent me an e-mail. Deety’s got osteosarcoma.”
“Huh?”
“Bone cancer. Dr. Morse had to take that leg off.”
“Oh God. I’m so sorry, Wills. What’s the prognosis?”
“She’s got maybe a year. Jar says she’s doing well, though, and gets around as if she still had four legs.” He sighed. “I hate like hell that this happened.”
“Wills?”
“Hmm?”
“Maybe… afterward, when JR has finished mourning her… maybe we can get him another Lab?”
He stared at me as if he’d never seen me before. Was he pissed that I was butting into his family concerns?
“Or… or a different breed if that would work better,” I finished weakly.
“You’d be willing to do that?”
“Why wouldn’t I? Unless you think it’s a horrible idea?”
The next thing I knew, I was in his arms, having the breath squeezed out of me. “I think it’s a fantastic idea, Theo. Thank you.”
IT TOOK a few weeks for everything to be delivered. In the meantime, I repainted the walls and had new carpeting laid down. It wasn’t a problem keeping it a secret. Wills was busy at work, and when he got home, I kept him too busy to ask why the apartment smelled of fresh paint.
Finally, I had the room set up, and as soon as he walked through the door that evening, I pounced on him. “I’ve got a surprise for you, Wills.”
