by Jill Mansell
Sam sighed. ‘OK, I guess you’re right. I’ve been out of circulation so long, I’d forgotten the basic rules. So I need to hang on until her birthday, make sure it’s a good one, buy her some fantastic presents, then break up with her a few days after that.’
‘Pretty much.’
‘OK. OK, I can do that.’ Distractedly, he tilted his water glass from side to side. ‘Although finishing with a girlfriend is something else I’m out of practice with. It’s not going to be fun.’
‘I think I can pretty much guarantee that,’ said Clemency. If there was one thing they both knew about Belle, it was that she didn’t take any form of rejection well.
Then her pulse quickened, because Sam’s eyes were upon her once more and it felt as if he was looking right into her soul, willing her to understand what he needed to say.
‘I didn’t ask her to move in here with me. You do know that, don’t you? We were still in London when Annabelle just announced one day that she’d sublet her London apartment and couldn’t wait to be back in St Carys again. She was telling everyone how great it was going to be. And she’d given up her job, too.’ He shrugged. ‘How could I not let her move in after that? It was already too late to say no.’
‘But you liked her. It might have worked out,’ Clemency reminded him.
Sam nodded. ‘That’s what I told myself. I thought maybe it could happen, and I tried my best to make it work.’ He spread his hands. ‘But it didn’t.’
‘Right.’ So many emotions.
‘And in case you’re wondering, this isn’t because of you. Not entirely, at least. It would have happened anyway.’
‘OK.’ Clemency nodded.
‘So you don’t have to feel guilty.’
‘I wasn’t planning on it.’ She looked at him, her mouth dry. ‘Why didn’t it work out?’
But Sam was already shaking his head; he wasn’t prepared to talk about Belle behind her back. ‘Just … a few things. You know when it’s not quite right.’ He pushed his fingers through his hair, raking it back from his tanned forehead. ‘So anyway, that’s the plan. I’ll wait until after her birthday. Any idea what she’d like, by the way?’ His faint smile signalled the irony of the question he was asking her. ‘Well, may as well ask, while you’re here.’
What did Belle want from Sam for her birthday? A declaration of undying love, undoubtedly. A huge diamond ring at a guess. And a romantic proposal of marriage.
Aloud, Clemency said, ‘Why do men always ask other people what they should buy for their wives and girlfriends? It’s your job to choose. Just get her something nice.’
Sam looked rueful. ‘How did I guess you’d say that? Listen, when I do tell her it’s over, do you think she’ll move back to London? Or stay here?’
‘This is Belle we’re talking about. Who knows what she’ll do?’
‘OK.’ He thought for a moment, then said in a low voice, ‘But in theory, if she did leave St Carys for good, and if at some stage in the future you and Ronan broke up … and then, say, a few more months were to pass …’
Clemency’s stomach muscles tightened and she felt light-headed beneath the intensity of his gaze. Oh God, it was what she wanted more than anything, and the fact that it couldn’t happen was unbearable. Sometimes she really wished she didn’t have a conscience.
But she did.
‘Nothing would change. It really wouldn’t.’ Her throat ached and her mouth was dry, but she had to make Sam understand. ‘It can’t.’
Chapter 33
Marina’s hand was shaking as she stood in front of the mirror and applied her make-up. Not too much, just a dusting of powder over her freckles, a bit of purply-brown eyeshadow and some mascara. Waterproof, to be on the safe side.
She finished with a matte peach lipstick that suited her complexion, and a few squishes of Shay & Blue scent, then checked that her hennaed hair wasn’t sticking up at the back.
OK, this was it. In recent weeks her life had changed out of all recognition, and now it was about to take another turn. Three days ago she had written to Ellis Ramsay at his home address. Yesterday morning she had received his reply, which had made her cry. He’d included his phone number and asked her to call him, which she’d done.
And now it was Monday afternoon, and she was about to come face to face with Ellis for the first time in thirty-two years. To top it all, when she’d finally managed to fall asleep last night, she’d dreamt about today’s meeting and woken up remembering every last detail.
Which was embarrassing, because in the dream she’d found herself overwhelmingly attracted to Ellis and unable to hide the way she felt. Like an overexcited teenager meeting Harry Styles, she had got completely carried away, squealing with excitement as she hugged him, while he in turn had looked appalled and said with disdain, ‘Actually, would you mind not doing that? We hardly know each other. And that dreadful noise you keep making is hurting my ears.’
Talk about mortifying. He’d been so cruel and dismissive, rejecting her at every turn and denouncing her paintings as absolute garbage, yet still she hadn’t been able to control her emotions and had kept begging him to give her a kiss …
Frankly, it had been a massive relief to wake up.
With a bit of luck, she wouldn’t make such a shameful show of herself when the real Ellis turned up.
Oh, but to think that he’d known about the baby, that it hadn’t come as a surprise …
Four o’clock was the time they’d agreed upon. Marina forced herself not to peer out of the window like a dog waiting for him to appear.
At three minutes to four, the doorbell rang and she jumped a mile.
OK, stay calm on the outside, don’t throw yourself at him, and definitely don’t squeal.
Then she opened the door and there he was. It was the most extraordinary sensation. Yesterday she’d heard his voice on the phone, and before that she’d known what he looked like from his photograph on the health centre’s website, but this was something else altogether. Now he was real.
And smiling, not in the professional having-your-photo-taken way, but properly.
‘Mary. Look at you. It’s so good to see you again.’
‘Ellis.’ His eyes, his eyes. ‘You too.’
He held out his arms, they exchanged a warm embrace and – thank God – she didn’t squeal like a teenager. Within the space of five seconds, she knew absolutely that the attraction that had once been so overwhelming was no longer there. It had evaporated, disappeared; not a molecule of it remained.
Which was kind of a shame, seeing as they were both single, but it wasn’t something you could make happen; that kind of emotion simply couldn’t be conjured up out of nowhere.
What was more, it was entirely mutual. They were gazing at each other now, and she could tell Ellis felt the same way. This time they were destined – she hoped – to be friends.
‘You’re looking wonderful,’ he said warmly.
‘Not so shabby yourself.’ Marina smiled, because for a man in his mid fifties, he was doing impressively well. His hair was just beginning to grey at the temples, and there were lines at the corners of his eyes, but he was still handsome. You could see instantly where Ronan had inherited his looks from.
‘Here.’ As she put the kettle on in the kitchen, Ellis produced his phone and showed her the text he’d received earlier from his daughter Tia, currently working in a hospital in Chicago.
Dad, I’m so happy for you. This is brilliant. Call me later so I can hear all about it. And say hi to my new big brother from me! xxxxx
‘Well I already like the sound of her,’ said Marina.
‘She’s a wonderful girl.’ Suffused with pride, he shook his head. ‘What can I say? You know how it feels to love your child.’
‘I do.’
His expression changed. ‘Oh Mary, I’m so sorry you had to go through it on your own.’
‘Doesn’t matter, you’re here now. It wasn’t your fault.’ She gave him a playful nudge as a r
eminder. ‘And I’m not Mary any more, it’s Marina.’
As she’d always half suspected, Ellis’s grandmother had never forwarded her letter on to him. Having opened it and read the fateful news, she had made her decision and thrown the letter into the fire. The first Ellis had known about it was eight months ago, when he’d driven up north to visit his grandmother. Now aged ninety-three, increasingly frail and living in a nursing home in Sheffield, she had evidently felt the need to clear her conscience and confess all, before dying a fortnight later.
Poor Ellis, it must have come as a terrible shock at the time.
‘Marina. Yes, sorry. I’ll get used to it.’ He nodded. ‘Like I said on the phone, I did try to look you up on the internet after she told me, but the only name I had was Mary Lewis. And I didn’t know if you’d gone ahead and had the baby … there were so many possible options. If you’d given the child up for adoption and not had any contact since, Tia was worried that my tracking you down would only stir things up and cause you more pain. In the end, we decided to leave it. I told myself you might have had a miscarriage. After so many years, I didn’t imagine for a moment that I’d ever hear from you again … about a child I wasn’t even sure existed …’ Another shrug and a smile. ‘But I have, and he does. It’s pretty incredible.’
‘Wait till you meet him.’ It was Marina’s turn to be the proud parent. ‘He’s pretty incredible too.’
What an evening. Seriously, what an evening. Ronan gazed around the room, taking in just how completely his life had changed in the last couple of weeks. The past had come roaring into the present, and all the questions he’d never been able to ask before had now been answered. Meeting Ellis Ramsay had felt like meeting his own future self. He’d even chatted via Skype with Tia, his newly discovered half-sister, and together they had marvelled at the similarity of their high cheekbones and broad smiles. Any concerns he might secretly have harboured about meeting unexpected new family members for the first time had dissolved in an instant; their relationship was effortless and comfortable from the word go. It just felt so right.
Best of all, Josephine was fine about it too.
Warmed by this knowledge, Ronan continued to watch as everyone chatted around him. By prior arrangement, Ellis had arrived here at Marina’s cottage at four o’clock, to give the two of them a while in which to get reacquainted. He had joined them at five, meeting his biological father for the first time. Then at six o’clock Clemency and his mum had turned up together, and it seemed as if none of them had stopped talking since. The plan had been for everyone to drive over to Josephine’s restaurant at seven so she could serve Ellis some of her signature jerk chicken, but it was now 7.45 and they still hadn’t left.
Then again, the great advantage of your mum owning the restaurant in question was that it meant they could turn up whenever they liked.
He couldn’t be the only one getting really hungry, though.
The doorbell rang and Marina said, ‘We’re not expecting anyone else, are we? I hope it’s not Suzanne from across the road.’ Her eyes sparkled as she rose to her feet. ‘Because if she wants me to babysit, it’s not going to happen this evening.’
She squeezed between Clemency and Ellis and went out into the narrow hallway to see who was there. Out of politeness, the living room fell silent. They heard the front door being opened, followed by Marina’s exclamation of surprise.
‘Oh my goodness, what are you doing here?’
Ronan caught Clemency’s eye; surely there weren’t any more unexpected relatives about to introduce themselves?
Although if there were, Marina hadn’t been expecting it to happen either.
‘I told you I was coming to see you.’ It was a male voice.
‘You definitely didn’t,’ said Marina.
‘I did. I sent you an email this morning. And a text this afternoon.’
Ronan glanced across the living room; he’d already spotted the mobile lying dusty and discarded on the windowsill, long out of battery and waiting forlornly for its owner to get around to charging it up. Other people might be inseparable from their phones, but Marina had more of a laissez-faire attitude towards hers. And today in particular, she’d had more important things to think about.
They heard her say, ‘I’ve been busy, there’s been a lot going on … I haven’t checked my messages since—’
‘Look, it’s fine. I’m here now and that’s all that matters. Marina, listen to me, this is important. I have something to tell you, and this time I’m not taking no for an answer.’
‘But—’
‘Let me put these down.’ From the sudden crackle of cellophane, it was evidently some form of flower-based gift; well, either that or a dead body wrapped in really noisy plastic. ‘They cost a fortune, but that’s OK because I know they’re your favourite. And I bought you Godiva chocolates too. Godiva! Because you love them … but not nearly as much as I love you!’
‘What? Oh, but—’
‘Marina, let me speak. No one else can even begin to compare. We’ve been through so much together …’
They all knew who it was by now, and everyone’s face was a picture. Clemency had clapped a hand over her mouth in an effort to smother an explosion of laughter. Josephine was indignantly mouthing: That man has a nerve. Ellis, who’d heard the story of how George had walked out on Marina whilst she was at her lowest ebb, shook his head in disbelief. And out in the hallway, the man himself was still talking, telling Marina that she couldn’t do better than him.
‘… all those years we were a team. A good team; the best. I miss you, Marina, and I know how much you must miss me. That’s why you’re still single, living alone … but there’s no need to be lonely!’
Ronan only had so much self-control. Having reached his limit, he couldn’t resist popping his head around the open living-room door and saying with a look of puzzlement, ‘Who says she lives alone?’
Ha, that shut him up. Marina’s ex-husband looked like a bullfrog about to be shot.
Chapter 34
‘What? What’s going on?’ George’s face turned a deeper shade of purple as he pointed at Ronan. ‘I recognise you. You turned up at the hotel when we were there the other week.’ He swung back to Marina. ‘What the hell’s he doing here?’
‘Hi, my name’s Ronan.’ Beaming, Ronan moved forward and extended his hand. ‘We’re just having a bit of a get-together. Why don’t you come on in and join us?’
‘You don’t live here, though.’ George was bristling with suspicion. ‘You can’t be living here.’
Ronan said pleasantly, ‘Can’t I? Come along through to the living room, then we can introduce you to everyone.’
The look of horror on George’s face was a joy to witness. As he coaxed the older man down the hallway, Ronan said, ‘It’s OK, I don’t really live here with Marina. And I’m not her toyboy either, in case that’s what you were wondering.’ Because it might have been fun to tease him, but it was a bit of a ewww idea.
‘I don’t know what’s happening.’ George was breathing hard, clearly not enjoying the fact that his plans for a romantic reunion had been well and truly scuppered.
‘It’s not complicated, George,’ Marina said easily. ‘Ronan’s my son.’
Silence. Looking more bullfroggish than ever, George stopped dead in his tracks and stared at her.
Ronan said, ‘Surprise!’
George’s gaze swung back to him. ‘You can’t be.’
‘I can. I am.’
‘You’re the one she gave up for adoption? But … but how …?’
‘We found each other,’ Ronan said simply. ‘Isn’t it great? Here, come and meet my mum. Mum, this is George, who used to be married to Marina. George, this is Josephine, my mum.’
‘Hello.’ Josephine’s eyes were bright as she shook George’s sausagey hand.
‘And this is Ellis,’ Ronan continued smoothly. ‘My father.’ He waited until the next handshake was done and dusted before adding, ‘Not my
adoptive father; this is the biological one.’
George was breathing even more heavily now as he duly processed this information. His jaw fell open as he pointed first at Marina, then at Ellis. ‘You mean you … and him …’
‘Yes.’ Marina nodded encouragingly. ‘Yes, we did, and together we made Ronan.’ She beamed. ‘Aren’t we lucky?’
George’s purple face turned purpler. Beads of sweat dotted his forehead. ‘You didn’t tell me any of this.’
‘You never wanted to hear anything about it,’ said Marina. ‘When I tried to tell you, you said it was nothing to do with you. You weren’t interested.’
‘And now you’re living here?’ George directed the question at Ellis. ‘You’ve moved in with my wife?’
‘Ex-wife,’ Marina reminded him.
‘I don’t believe this. You’ve lied to me. And now you have the nerve to do all this behind my back …’ The rise and fall of his shoulders grew more pronounced as he sucked in lungfuls of air then noisily exhaled. As he stared wildly around the room, he pressed a trembling hand to his chest. ‘Oh God, something’s happening to me … Look at my hands, I can’t even feel them … I’m so dizzy … My lungs … I’m going to pass out … My head feels as if it’s about to burst.’
Fear engulfed Marina as George began to stagger and sway. Clem had grabbed his arm and was pulling him towards an empty armchair, but it was too late; his knees gave way and he first stumbled, then slumped to the floor.
‘Oh God, please no! What’s wrong with him? George!’ Falling to her knees, Marina clutched his hand; he was still breathing as if he’d run a marathon. She stared wildly up at Ellis. ‘Is he having a heart attack? Is it a stroke? We need to call an ambulance!’
‘Let me take a look at him.’ Crouching on the other side of George’s prone body, Ellis began rapidly and expertly to carry out a series of checks.
‘We should call nine nine nine.’ Marina was shaking. Oh God. If he dies, it’ll be all my fault.
‘Hang on for just one minute,’ Ellis said calmly. ‘Now, George, I want you to listen to me. Everything’s fine, but we need to slow down your breathing. While I count to twelve, you exhale slowly. Then I’ll count to six and you can slowly inhale. Through your nose, not your mouth. Pay attention and concentrate on me, OK? Here we go …’
