‘S-so, um, we’d better be heading back,’ I say. ‘We have the soul-binding tomorrow, and I—’
‘I detest you.’
I blink and look up to him. Like a snap, his expression has changed into lividness, the kind of livid that would scare you if you were a girl standing out in the middle of nowhere with nothing but a brainless dog for protection.
‘I detest you,’ he says louder, glaring, fire burning in his eyes. ‘Everything you are, everything you stand for, even this place and this fate that I’ve no choice but to share with you, I despise it all. You think a few words will bind me to you? You think you can tie my soul to yours so easily? Never. I can’t break the chains binding me to you, but I’ll wait; I’ll wait for the moment you take your last breath, and I promise you I’ll rejoice when that happens. Then I’ll forget it all. I will not remember you or think of you. The memory of you will burn and die as if your meaningless existence never was.’
With that, he turns, leaving me standing in the starlight.
KORREN
COLOUR IN WORDS
I detest her. That’s what I told myself a few hours ago, and though there is something there, a feeling of connection, I don’t think it’s as strong as this hatred.
And yet…
‘I pictured an ally, a friend…’ Those words—they hit me like a sledgehammer. Not once have I ever heard a Chosen say such a thing. Della said she would be ignorant, and she was right. Doesn’t this stupid girl know anything? She of all Chosen could not view kytaen as friends. And why would she persist in thinking that way about someone that plainly hates her? She really is stupid. Friend? The thought of it is laughable. Absurd.
Kind.
I’m intrigued by her—I’ll admit that. But I’m also frustrated. Why can’t I define this copper-haired girl? Usually, I can read a Chosen’s character within a matter of minutes. I can’t comprehend her, though. Her nature is as unfathomable to me as an endless maze.
I recall what she said about O’Sah, and I think about her being like every other keeper I have had: cold, hateful, cruel. Somehow, the image can’t form in my mind. As frustrating as she can be, hate and cruelty are not part of her nature—I realise that now. However, when she said she understood my perspective—I don’t know why, and I scold myself for it—there was a solid pang in my chest, a sudden flicker of life. It’s not that I want her to be kind to me, but it’s a small, very small comfort, that at least one Chosen living in this world doesn’t want to treat kytaen with such disregard. Yes, when we talk it might be true that we clash, yet, that’s still a form of respect in its own way, because she’s treating me, as O’Sah told her, as an equal, as if I’m worthy of her attention. The very thought that she might be easily swayed by him was… disappointing.
But it also made me happy.
If she begins to think that way, the same way as O’Sah and every other Chosen, then she’ll no longer speak to me so openly, so kindly. I won’t have to try to disarm her words that bury deep into me. I should never have even let them. I know from my last keeper that, though they can be powerful, that is all they are—words: meaningless sticky webs of lies.
I roll onto my side, the bench creaking under my weight. It begins to thunder outside, the rain pelting the small window of the arux.
I completely forgot myself when I shouted at her. It’s not that I’m afraid of the repercussions, rather that I showed a side of myself that is close to my heart, a side I don’t want anyone to see: my vulnerability is my own. In my confusion and anger over her constant, gripping words, I lost my thoughts, my rationality, and I let slip my self-discipline, my caution, and bared to her my soul.
But forgetting for a moment how my comments affected me, how are they affecting her? Maybe… maybe it was wrong of me to say what I did.
No, it wasn’t wrong. Of course it wasn’t wrong. So what if I made her upset? So what if I hurt her feelings? What I said was true, wasn’t it? I do detest her, don’t I?
But then aren’t I just seeing her as I want her to be? Am I not just seeing every keeper, every Pulsar, in her? She’s never been unkind to me. Not really. She even wants us to be friends.
No. No! Because this is what happens: they trick you with their smiles, they feed you such sweet lies, and the moment you believe them, the moment you believe they are everything you have been looking for, they turn your back on you—or they die. Anyway, she’s not what I’ve been looking for; she’s not anything to me.
What wrong did I do exactly? It’s not as if my words really matter to her. Then again, it’s unusual for her to look so shaken, so speechless. Did I really do some damage? If I did, shouldn’t I be happy about that? Since I came here, I’ve been trying to make her reconsider the soul-binding. Was this what was needed all along, a few hate-filled words? I thought she was made of stone, but maybe I caused a crack.
Or maybe I didn’t.
I hit my head against the bench. Never have I felt so much frustration. Why am I even contemplating whether to feel guilty? She’s the one keeping me bound, which makes her my enemy. My plan was failing; is it now on course again? Have I finally made that stubborn girl hate me enough to return me to Aris, as improbable as that may be?
I try to sleep. It doesn’t come. It’s not the bench that’s keeping me awake tonight—it’s her. I can’t stop thinking about the words she spoke as she looked down at the flower. I don’t know what they were supposed to mean, or what I’m supposed to believe in. I’m not sure what she was trying to tell me, and I spend most of the night tormenting myself as to what she meant.
‘…just like this persistent little thing, the winds won’t matter anymore, and the snow won’t be able to touch you, and you’ll find the courage to grow.’
Oh.
Oh.
I understand now.
She wasn’t telling me to be comfortable living as a keeper’s pet. She wasn’t telling me to once again become accustomed to this way of life. She was telling me to be strong, because if I don’t believe in the way my kind is being treated, then I should stand up against the wrongdoers, no matter how relentless or how cold their wind is. She was telling me to fight for what I believe in even if it is against her kind. She believes I should never conform. Though I am alone in this rebellion, if I hold out a little longer, if I refuse to let the winter winds blow me away or the cold to freeze me over, if I somehow create my own warmth, someday I won’t be alone. Someday more will grow beside me, and I will be able to protect them with the warmth that I have made.
Is that why she refuses to treat me as O’Sah tells her? Is that why she allows me to say what I want and doesn’t punish me when I do? Because she sees me as an independent entity, a life and not a thing? She doesn’t understand this world of myth and magic, and perhaps not even the implication of her message, but under the layers of her colourful words there is one thing she was trying to say most of all: never let them crush what you believe in.
This girl… who is she? What am I supposed to do with these words that can be easily swept away? They can’t do anything. They can’t change anything. But in me, like a bud growing and blossoming, I realise her words have done something: they have shifted something in me, given me a gift as small as a seed, but still it is there in my barely beating heart. Burgeoning.
Leonie Woodville… who are you?
LEONIE
SECRETS IN THE GARDEN
‘Afternoon,’ says Jacob, as I enter the Breakfast Room.
‘Mmm, ’fteroo,’ I say.
He closes the book he was reading and raises an eyebrow. ‘Um, did you just speak a different language?’
‘Yeah. It’s called “Sleepless Night”,’ I say. ‘It’s a universal language.’
He laughs.
‘Where is everyone?’ I ask.
‘I think they’re skipping lunch. Something about souls.’
‘Ah. The soul-binding.’ It’s not as if I’d forgotten it, it being the reason I didn’t get any sleep. No, not the reason
. Stupid Korren. ‘How come you weren’t at breakfast today, Jacob? You always eat that green crap they put on our plates, so I was hoping you could eat all mine before anyone noticed.’
He holds up the book he was reading, a smile on his face. ‘I was reading this. It’s really cool. You should give it a try.’
I look at the cover. ‘What does it even say?’
‘You can’t read it?’
‘Why so shocked?’
He tries to keep a level expression. ‘It’s just, with all the lessons with O’Sah, I thought you’d know the basics by now.’
‘He hasn’t got to that part of our lessons yet.’ I fold my arms. ‘So, you know how to read already, huh?’
‘Yeah! A bit. It’s really easy. Oh, uh, I’m sure you’ll pick it up easily, too.’
I hold my head a bit higher. ‘Of course.’ Don’t be jealous, idiot, I tell myself. Sure, he’s younger than you, but you know how it is: the young adapt better than the old.
Wait, aren’t I only seventeen?
‘A-anyway,’ I say quickly, ‘how’s your other lessons with…?’
‘Pandra.’ He rubs his neck. ‘I don’t think he likes me very much. He thinks I can be slow sometimes.’
‘Slow? You can already read mythical language.’
‘It’s actually called Elskcri.’
‘See? You’re smart. He does realise you’ve been brought up in the human realm, right?’
‘I don’t think that matters much to him.’
‘Do you want me to have a word with him?’
‘No no no no no! He’d kill me for sure.’ He puts the book he’s holding onto his lap. ‘Besides, he’s not that bad. He’s actually kinda nice when he’s in a good mood. After our history lesson yesterday, he let me have more dinner than usual.’
‘…Uh, right.’
‘So what are you doing today?’ he asks. ‘We can go around the temples like we said if you want.’
I guess he doesn’t know about the soul-binding, not that he’d have to know much unless he was a Throne or, well, me. ‘We’ll have to do that some other time. O’Sah’s got me doing a lot for the next few days. Oh, have you seen my dad, by the way?’
‘Oh, um, he left earlier. I don’t know where to.’
‘OK. I guess it’s not important. Hey, want to get some air with me for a few minutes?’
‘You’re skipping lunch?’ he asks. ‘They made this really cool meat thing that looks like a beetle.’
‘Yeaaah, I’m not that hungry.’
‘All right.’ He stands up and puts his book down. ‘Let’s go.’
We leave the Breakfast Room and go down a hallway and into an antechamber, sliding open a door. Light spills into the garden that stands in the centre of the temple, and I shield my eyes from the sunlight with my hand. The garden is covered in snow, with a pond in the middle of it. I wish I could have seen it in summer. If I can, I’d like to visit this place again.
Jacob and I sit on the deck, watching Magen pass as they go about their business.
‘Want to grab a coat?’ I ask.
‘I’m fine.’
‘Don’t blame me if you catch a cold, kid.’
‘You’re a kid, too, you know.’
‘I’m seventeen.’
‘That’s still a kid.’
‘Yeah, but I’m older than you, so I get to call you kid, kid.’
‘But your magic hasn’t matured yet, and mine has.’
‘Oh. Damn. Guess you have me there. So, what can you do?’ I ask.
‘What do you mean?’ he replies.
‘Like, what’s your power?’
‘Oh. It’s nothing, really.’
‘Are you being shy?’
‘No.’
‘You are so being shy.’
He turns away.
‘It can’t be that bad!’ I insist. ‘Can you show me?’
‘Fine.’ He stares at my body.
‘Um, what are you doing?’
‘My power.’
‘What, d’you have X-ray vision or something?’ I laugh.
He continues to stare, his eyes focusing.
My laugh dies and my eyes widen. ‘Hah! Yeah, right. You don’t have X-ray vision. You don’t have… you have X-ray vision? You have X-ray vision!’ I cover myself.
‘That’s not going to do anything.’
‘Ew! Kid, stop it! Stop it!’
He laughs. ‘I’m joking. That’s not what I can do.’
I playfully hit his shoulder. ‘You imp! What’s your real power?’
He sighs. ‘All right. If I have to. You are the Pulsar.’
‘Yeah, and I’m meant to be obeyed.’ I grin, and he does, too. Then, he holds his hand out and a small orb of light forms over his palm.
‘Wow!’ I exclaim. ‘Look at that.’
‘Yeah.’
‘That’s so handy!’
‘Yeah! I can make it zoom around, too.’
‘Show me.’
He moves his hand and the orb floats higher into the air. He manages to hover it over the lake before it evaporates into tiny sparks.
‘I’m not good at it yet,’ he says. ‘It’s kind of lame.’
‘No it’s not, Jacob. It’s the total opposite.’
He smiles. ‘Thanks.’
‘What are you, anyway?’ I ask.
‘Um, like, what power?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Phobien.’
‘Cool.’ As far as I remember, Phobien is weaker than a Throne, and besides Zeroes, they are the only Chosen not to have kytaen. At least he won’t have the responsibility of a Pulsar or a Throne.
‘So what’s your story, Jacob?’ I ask.
‘My story?’
‘Yeah, I don’t know much about you. Like, how did you get to be here?’
‘I was going to school, playing games with friends. Then, I just, I don’t know, started to glow a little bit, though no one else really noticed it.’
‘A little bit? Try imploding! There’s nothing that can put a crimp in a girl’s day like spontaneous combustion.’
‘What?’
‘Uh, nothing. Continue.’
‘OK? Um, so, about an hour later those things, Replica, came to my house and were speaking to my mum about what I was. My mum thought it was some kind of joke, but I knew it was true, because people don’t just glow. They told me I had to go with them, and my mum phoned the police, but then a guy came over, one of the Thrones that brought me here, and, I don’t know, did something to her. After that, she kind of just, um, I don’t know, accepted it, I guess.’
‘He manipulated her?’ I ask, eyes narrowed.
‘I think so.’
‘Jacob, they shouldn’t have done that.’
He shrugs. ‘They didn’t hurt her or anything.’
I’m still not convinced.
‘There was something else, though…’ he begins.
‘What?’
‘I don’t think I’m supposed to tell anyone. Pandra said…’
‘I know how to keep a secret.’
‘Well, OK. Don’t make me regret trusting you.’
‘God, you can be mouthy.’
He continues. ‘Before the Replica came, this person, a lady, she came to see me at my school about half an hour after I started to glow. She said that the Imperium were bad people and I should come with her. I thought she was a weirdo, so I didn’t go, and everyone’s always saying not to go off with strangers that try to pick you up. Then the Replica came and said the same stuff, except that she made the Imperium out to be really cool. So I was thinking maybe that lady was one of the rebels that attacked you; maybe she was trying to recruit me or something.’
‘Maybe,’ I say.
‘Did anyone like that come for you?’
I shake my head. ‘At least, they didn’t come for me peacefully,’ I say. ‘Thanks for telling me, Jacob. I promise I won’t tell anyone.’
He smiles and looks at the pond. ‘You excited about going to the
Imperium?’
‘Want to know my secret?’
‘Sure.’
‘I’m terrified.’
‘Really?’
‘Yeah! Aren’t you?’
‘I was.’
‘What changed your mind?’
‘I won’t be alone; you’ll be there, and you’re not all that bad.’
‘Thanks?’
‘It’ll be fun, having someone else from the human realm with me.’
‘Oh, Jacob, y’know, I would love that, but you and me will probably be going to different—’
The temple door opens and Korren comes into the garden, panting for breath.
‘Korren?’ I say.
‘You have to come with me,’ he says.
‘What? What’s wrong with you? Why are you—?’
‘It’s your father. You have to come with me. Now.’
KORREN
MIRAGE
The morning sunlight filters through the window. I remain on my bench, staring up at the ceiling as I recall last night’s events. I detest you. I detest you. I detest you. I don’t want to get up, to face reality, to face her. Today, though, today is too important to avoid it.
I force myself to stand when a Magen comes into the arux, and we head towards the temple. The mongrel beast called Pegasus jumps up at me as I enter, and I grimace at him. We walk to the Ceremony Room, where a few Thrones sit. I glance at the girl, who is sitting at the table. I see a flicker of uneasiness in her eyes when she notices me, though she schools her expression and returns her attention to her father.
‘And you have everything you need for the soul-binding, O’Sah?’ says a Throne.
‘I do.’
So O’Sah will be preforming the soul-binding. It’s unusual for someone his age to be doing it, or for him to be doing it at all. Although Thrones’ education is more privileged than most, it’s usually Magen who oversee the ritual. I can only assume the Council trust no one but their inner circle.
‘When will it happen?’ the girl mutters.
‘As the sun sets,’ O’Sah replies. ‘Soul-bindings are usually preformed at this time; an old belief that dictates the variety of dark and light colours spreading across the sky provides a link to the stargods.’
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