‘Are you frightened?’ he asks me.
I shake my head. I am not afraid of him. Bewil-dered, sure, but not afraid. ‘H-how are you doing that?’ I say. ‘Ta-talking without moving your big-arse jaw.’
He lowers his head so that it’s on level with mine. ‘When in our kytaen form, we speak by transmitting our thoughts.’
‘Th-then how can I hear you?’ Jacob asks, looking just as bewildered as me.
‘It isn’t limited to our keepers,’ he replies. ‘We can convey our thoughts to as many people as we like. Though, as with oral speaking, we can’t transmit thoughts from a certain distance away, only close by.’
I nod as if I understand.
‘Are you hurt?’ he asks Jacob.
‘N-no. What was wrong with him?’
‘The maiden got to him.’
‘So… that’s what it does to people.’
‘His torment had just begun. I put him out of his misery.’
Jacob stares at the body, shaking. He picks up the shard of glass the soldier was holding, making sure not to cut himself.
I walk over to him and slap his head. ‘You have to be more careful! I thought you were as good as dead!’
He rubs his head. ‘So you hit me?’
‘Because you’re such an idiot!’
‘It’s not like I wanted to be grabbed like that.’
‘Such a goddamn idiot.’
‘Are you crying?’
‘Like hell!’
‘You look teary.’
‘I’m not.’
‘You were worried, huh?’
‘No!’
‘You so were.’
‘Shut up!’ I turn on my feet and look back to my compan-ions. ‘Let’s go. Come on!’
‘She was definitely worried,’ I hear Jacob say, and I look back to see Korren nodding his head. I purse my lips and continue forward. Jacob and I barely know each other; in fact, we’ve only spoken a few times. But the thought of something happening to him is an utterly unwelcome one. He trusts Korren and me to get him through this, and so it’s my responsibility to make sure he’s safe.
The mist is impenetrable, so we rely on Korren’s memory and enhanced senses to direct us towards the entrance to the temple that will lead to my dad.
You’ll never find him.
I hate the doubt creeping into my head.
He’s probably dead anyway.
I shake my head. I shouldn’t think that way.
Just like you will be.
No… that isn’t… that isn’t my voice.
You should just die now and save yourself the suffering.
I gasp. ‘K-Korren!’
He’s at my side in a moment. ‘You can hear it?’
‘Is it… is it… the maiden? Can you hear it?’
‘No, but I felt your fear.’
He’s going to die, you know. Both of them. Such horrid, excruciating deaths. All because of you.
‘Wh-what do I do? What do I do?’ I say.
‘You can’t do anything,’ Korren tells me, and my eyes widen. ‘You have to try to ignore it. The more you do, the quieter the voice will be—or so I’ve been told.’
The feeling of something foreign speaking inside your own head is like a parasite travelling through your skin, and although I’ve never had the latter experience, I’m guessing this is close to how it feels.
As we walk through the mist, the voice keeps telling me I’m not going to survive. I want to ignore it, but it’s screaming at me, taunting me. I know Korren doesn’t feel any of this, so I look to Jacob beside me, and find he’s staring up at me. In that one instant, I feel more connected to Jacob than I ever have. We both hear the same voice, we are both feeling the unyielding weight of it, but because of that, we’re not alone, we’re facing it together, and that gives us strength.
I knock into something and gasp. I’m facing a woman, a soldier, and I prepare for her to attack me, but she stares at me—no, through me—her eyes vacant, hazed.
‘What’s wrong with her?’ Jacob says, waving a hand in front of her.
I move back, only to collide with someone else. I swivel round to face a man, his eyes just as hazed as the woman’s. I glance around us, and through the mist I see the ghostly outlines of other figures standing eerily still as if they were statues.
‘The maiden’s fed from them,’ says Korren, ‘from their despair. Their hearts beat, their lungs breathe in air, but their souls have been sucked from them, their very being stolen.’
I have seen many tragic things in the last few hours, images I know will burn into my memory, never to be forgotten. But it’s all gone so quickly, and everything was a rush. Now, though, it is silent, and I can comprehend the reality of this situation, that there is no way we can survive, that we’re just prolonging the moment until we die. As I stare at this man, that voice screaming at me becomes more prominent. He’s a soldier. If he can’t survive, how can I? How can I even hope to survive this haze?
You can’t.
My heart hammers in my chest.
There’s no hope for you. You won’t survive.
Tears well in my eyes and I—
I’m gently pushed, and Korren is at my side, making sure to hold my gaze.
‘You have to be strong,’ he says, ‘you have to be brave, and, though I know how impossible it may seem, you have to discard the possibility of death. That voice in your head telling you that you won’t survive? Ignore it. Just ignore it. You will not die today.’
I search his eyes for any untruth, for any misgivings, and when I find only resolve, my sanity returns to me, slowly, and not all together, but enough to retain my determination, determination to live. I clench my fists, and we move through the maze of soulless people.
‘Are you all right, Jacob?’ I ask after a while.
‘…Yeah.’
‘That must’ve been scary, getting attacked like that.’
‘…Yeah.’
‘It won’t happen again, OK? We won’t let it.’
He takes my hand again. ‘We won’t become like them, Leonie. Like those people.’
‘I know.’
‘We can’t. We’re just kids. Kids can’t die like this.’
I don’t say anything to that.
‘This way,’ says Korren.
‘Know where we are?’ I ask.
‘I think so. Just a little further now.’
‘We can do this,’ says Jacob.
I smile. ‘Yeah, we—’
I feel something reaching out to me, like a cold breeze against my back. I start to turn, and then—
Burning.
None like I’ve ever known. Not even when my magic awoke.
Burning burning burning.
My blood. It’s hot. It’s too hot. It’s going to burn through my veins and flesh, my soul.
‘Kor—’
My body crumples to the floor.
‘Leonie!’ I hear Jacob shout, but I can’t respond. I feel as if my entire body is on fire… no, more than that, like my being is being torn apart over and over, the magic in me burning away. I can’t speak or yell or cry. I can only lie on the ground, eyes wide as my body tries to find some way to cope with the agony.
And then the fire is gone, replaced by hands that wrap around my throat, and my head is slammed against the ground, over and over. My vision blurs, I don’t know what to do, I can’t see my attacker, and I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe. I claw at their face, at their hands, but it doesn’t relinquish their grip.
Another pain grips me, though it’s not my own. It’s Korren’s. I can’t see him, but I hear Jacob, the panic in his voice, the helplessness as he watches us die.
Die. Dying. Is that what I’m doing? Is this really where it all ends? At the thought of Game Over, a quiet desperation begins to arise in me, quiet at first, but as my vision grows cloudier, as my throat burns burns burns, it becomes a shout, a yell, a scream. Strength I didn’t even know I had courses through my
body, pulsates through my bone and blood and muscle, and I push out, using my entire body to force the attacker to loosen their grip. I kick them away, without having time to gasp for breath, because they come for me again, wild and fervent like an animal. I grab their arms before they can wrap their hands around my neck, and we wrestle until their strength beats mine and sends us crashing to the ground.
My eyes meet theirs, and then—they’re gone.
I sit up, trying to regain control of my breath, and when I look up Korren is in front of me in a defensive stance, and facing him is…
‘O’Sah,’ I say.
He has a crazed look in his eyes, just like the soldier that attacked Jacob. O’Sah, who is more adept that me. O’Sah, who knows how to survive, who has fought many battles, who is on the Council. And yet, even he is standing before us, a victim of the maiden. It is too late for him.
Korren was right. I have to ignore the voice in my head telling me I won’t survive, but it is my own voice now that is telling me: ‘Look. Look at him. If he can’t live through this, how can you? You think wit and strength can get you through this? What a joke. You are nothing to this maiden. Nothing. The only thing keeping you alive is Korren, and even he will have to give up on you soon.’
O’Sah comes forward, and Korren readies to lunge, but before he does, O’Sah puts his hands on his head and clenches his jaw. He looks like he is struggling with something, and then he glances around, white as a sheet.
His gaze falls on me.
‘My Lady?’
‘…O’Sah?’ I say.
‘Leonie,’ he says, and falls to his knees. ‘No! Don’t come near me. Stay back.’ His cheeks are wet, and he sobs. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’ He puts his hands on his head again and rocks back and forth. ‘It won’t stop. It won’t go away. I can’t make it go away. I’m dead. I’m dead. I can’t make it go away! I don’t want to die! Please, I don’t want to die!’
I step forward, and though Korren shoots me a glare, as if telling me to stay back, I ignore it.
‘I-I really did want to protect you,’ O’Sah says, looking up at me and clutching my jacket. ‘I-I wanted to keep you safe. Didn’t mean to hurt you. Didn’t mean to. Didn’t mean to. I didn’t! Shut up, shut up, shut up! I didn’t. I didn’t!’
‘All right, I understand,’ I say in a soft voice, like I’m talking to a child.
‘I-I know you think me a monster, and maybe I am, b-but please never doubt how much I believed in you. Everything I did was for you. Yes, I did it all for you! I would live and die for you. Over and over if I had to. I was never your enemy.’
I go onto my knees. ‘It’s OK, O’Sah, it’s OK.’
He cries. ‘I wanted to be part of your legend. Now I’ll be a small part of it. I’ll be known as the one who tried to kill you. Oh gods, I tried to kill you! All my life, all I’ve done, and that is all I’ll be remembered for!’
I shake my head. ‘I won’t remember it that way.’
‘I’m so sorry.’
‘It’s OK.’
‘I’m so… sorry.’
‘It’s OK.’
‘So Sorry …’
‘It’s—’
‘Kill me… please.’
‘O’Sah—’
‘Please. I don’t want to die like this.’
‘I-I can’t.’
‘Please.’
I shake my head. ‘I can’t kill you.’
‘Then, your kytaen… my own is dead… so please…’
I crane my head to look at Korren. He nods his head, and I turn back to O’Sah, my eyes welling with tears.
‘No, y-you… it… O’Sah, you can’t want this,’ I say. ‘You can’t want this.’
He smiles, sweat dripping down his forehead. ‘Oh, but I do.’
I shake my head again, about to say something, when Korren comes beside me, and says, ‘It’s all right. It’s better this way.’
‘Korren—’
‘It’s too late for him, little lion. Killing him is a kindness.’
‘But—!’
‘Go stand with Jacob.’
I glance from him to O’Sah, and O’Sah stares at me pleadingly. I stand up, legs shaking, not comprehending this sudden reality of kill yourself or be killed. Jacob looks at me just as uncertainly, and we turn away from Korren and O’Sah.
After a moment I hear a strange noise, like flesh being penetrated, followed by a gasp.
Then. ‘Thank you…’
I turn and find O’Sah on the floor, eyes closed.
‘He’s…’ I begin.
‘Dead,’ confirms Korren.
My hands cover my mouth. ‘No. No. O’Sah.’
‘You hate him, and yet you’re pitying him?’
‘I-I may have hated him, but I never wanted him to die for it.’ I kneel down next to his body and clasp his cold hand in my own. ‘Despite everything, he did want to protect me.’
‘I don’t like this,’ says Jacob in a small voice, and I stand and walk over to him, punching him on the shoulder. ‘Ow!’
‘Toughen up,’ I say, tears in my eyes. ‘We both need to toughen up. We’re going to face worse things in the haze. Let’s give the maiden a good chase first, yeah? We don’t want to end up like O’Sah, do we?’
He stares at me for a moment, and then shakes his head. ‘No, we don’t.’
I look at Korren. ‘Let’s get my dad and get the hell out of here.’
Because Jacob and I? We won’t last much longer.
KORREN
SENT WITH LOVE
My leg is getting worse. It’s becoming difficult to walk, but I can’t let the other two know that. They’re depending on me for more than just leading them back to the temple; they need me to help keep their minds focused. I’ve dealt with pain before, though usually my injuries heal faster than this. Nonetheless, if I can just get to the temple and then the portal, we’ll be transported to The Core, where the Replica will heal me.
‘Are we there yet?’ I hear Jacob ask.
‘No,’ I reply.
‘Are we close?’
‘Yes.’
‘It’s cold.’
‘It won’t be for much longer,’ assures my keeper.
‘If we get out of here,’ he mumbles.
‘Not if, just when.’
‘Yeah.’
‘What’s your favourite colour, Jacob?’ she asks him.
‘Um, why?’
‘Just wondering.’
‘Green?’
‘Why green?’
‘Um, I dunno, it’s, um, I guess it reminds me of the outdoors. What’s yours?’
‘Mine is black.’
‘Black?’ he says.
‘Yup.’
‘That doesn’t seem very you. I would’ve thought you’d like yellow.’
‘Why’s that?’
‘You seem like a happy person.’
She smiles. ‘I like black because it reminds me of night. You can only see all the stars when the sky’s black.’
‘You can’t see any stars now.’
‘Sure, but they’re there, Jacob. They’re definitely up there. The maiden hasn’t snuffed their light out. Hey, hold out your palm.’
He does.
‘OK, and now do your thing.’
‘My thing?’ he says.
‘Your magic.’
‘Oh.’ A small orb of light glows from his hand.
‘See? Your light is so much brighter in the dark, isn’t it?’
‘Yeah. Yeah it is.’
‘The stars up there can’t see your light right now, because of the maiden’s darkness, but it’s still here, isn’t it? It’s still glowing.’
He nods.
‘And no matter what, it will keep on glowing, and the darker it gets, the brighter it will get, too.’
‘Yeah. Yeah.’ He smiles.
She gives me a fleeting glance, a little smile on her lips. I don’t know why, but I feel like smiling back.
I thought I
would be at the entrance by now, but half an hour later and we’re still in the temple’s grounds. The two behind me have been quiet for a while, and I have to keep glancing back to make sure they’re all right. My keeper meets my gaze every time, and I can see she is struggling to contend with the haze, but at least she’s looking back. Jacob, however, is staring at the floor with a blank face.
Though I said I would find Orin, I decide that it’s best we head towards the portal. I know my keeper will understand. She wants to save her father, but she won’t want Jacob to die, too. I don’t tell her that I’m changing our direction, though; she still believes she and Jacob can survive this.
I stop.
‘I’m not sure where we are,’ I say.
‘Maybe we just need a little bit of light,’ she says. ‘Jacob?’
Jacob lifts up his hand and his orb hovers into the air. It zooms around the area, highlighting pieces of rubble and a miniature shrine. I move forward, spotting a familiar sight.
The light dies.
‘Crap,’ my keeper utters. ‘Can you spark it up again, Jacob—?’
‘It’s all right,’ I say. ‘We’re close.’
‘How’d you know?’
‘There’s a statue of the stargod Iwo-tan. That means we’re close to the entrance.’ Really, it means that we’re close to the steps we take to the open field and to where the portal is.
Her face brightens. ‘We can do this. We can actually do this.’
‘If we hurry.’
‘OK. Jacob, come on,’ she says.
Jacob turns to us. His expression isn’t one of fear or despair, but not one of calm and peace either. His eyes tell me everything: they hold nothing in them—they are an empty void.
He looks at my keeper as he brings a shard of glass to his neck. ‘Abi sends her love,’ he says, and pushes the glass into his skin, slicing it across his neck. He falls to the ground.
I look to my keeper, and her eyes are wide, body trembling.
I realise what’s going to happen.
But too late.
A gust of wind smacks against her, hurling the mist into her face and knocking her down and out of view.
I go to where she had been standing, but I can’t see her.
I can’t see her.
Damn. Damn!
The mist took advantage of her momentary weakness, her sheer despair at what she had just witnessed, and now she’s lost to me.
Girl of Myth and Legend Page 24
