by Desiree Holt
Even when he picked up the pace it wasn’t enough for her. Deep inside her body, the need for release began to spiral like an unwinding coil. She wanted to hold on to the exhilarating feeling as much as she wanted to reach the top of that mountain. Every cell in her body cried out for release, and the walls of her sex clutched hard at the thickness filling it.
“Now, Holly,” Chase grated. “Now.”
Oh, yes, she was ready. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist, digging her heels into the small of his back. Locking his body to hers. He moved his hand to find her clit, pinching it hard and sending her right over the top with him.
Together they shuddered, great spasms, as his cock flexed inside her and her body convulsed around him. On and on it went, lungs starving for air, heart thundering but she didn’t care. All she knew and wanted was this wonderful feeling of total release and completeness. And oh, God, it was the most incredible feeling.
When the tremors finally slowed and faded, Holly lowered her legs to the bed, and Chase eased from her body. He paused, kneeling between her thighs, to give her a kiss. Not a sensuous kiss. Not a hungry kiss. It was a—something kiss. As if they’d crossed some kind of threshold. Maybe they had, because she felt totally connected to this man. It was a strange feeling, and she wondered how they’d gotten here so fast.
Don’t think, don’t think, don’t think.
She lay there, a fine sheen of perspiration covering her skin, heartbeat steadying while he disposed of the condom. Was she ready for this, whatever this was? Could she take whatever risks were involved? She wouldn’t think about it tonight. She’d just enjoy the pleasure of it. Tonight wasn’t a time for thinking.
“Move over,” Chase urged in a soft voice when he returned.
She slid over toward the middle of the bed, making room for him. When he spooned around her, she pressed her bottom against his now-resting cock and her back against his solid chest. He brushed her hair back from her face, tucking the strands behind her ear.
“I have to ask,” he said in a soft voice. “Was it as special for you as it was for me?”
“Y-Yes.” She breathed the word.
“Good. Then we can go to sleep.”
Chapter 14
This whole situation with Chase was still so new, and so different than any other relationship she’d had, that Holly was still a little shy about it. Maybe guarded would be a better word. Who knew their fake relationship would turn out to be a real one. But now that all their friends had bought into it, she and Chase were shielding their privacy fiercely. There was an intimacy about them that surpassed just the intense sexual attraction. When she kissed him, the taste and texture of him drew her in.
Little by little they were sharing parts of their lives with each other. She’d given him a tour of the firehouse, grateful that all the wiseasses had been mostly polite and well behaved. She’d been especially nervous. All of Brad’s denigrating, humiliating words had flooded her brain. Would Chase look at her, at what she did, and suddenly see her as a different person? Would her femininity be at risk?
But it had turned out to be totally cool. He’d asked intelligent questions and praised the squads for the work they did. When they were alone afterward, he’d given her a hug, kissed her, and said, “I am so proud of you. It’s not every woman who can handle a demanding profession like this one without losing who she is as a woman. From what Cliff was saying, you do it damn well too.”
She’d kissed back, nearly smothering him, because he made her heart so full.
A few days later he’d taken her to the Coast Guard base, showing her whatever he could, including the patrol boat he commanded. The trip also had been a revelation to her. She got to see Chase in his natural environment and hear the praise from his commanding officer as well as the men under him.
She’d met some of the men on his crew and saw the incredible respect they had for him. She couldn’t tell him enough how proud of him she was, a fact that sometimes made him blush. She didn’t know what his history was, but she had the sad feeling women had never appreciated him for the man he was.
Sex was different with him too. It was more than a physical exercise, more than an obligation, making what she’d had with Brad look like a cheap imitation. But she was torn now between an excitement that constantly bubbled up inside her and fear that she was making another mistake.
“Whatever’s going on with Mr. Hot Guy is definitely working for you,” Adara had pointed out. “You’re, I don’t know, softer. More easygoing. Not always on the defensive.”
“I didn’t think I was defensive,” she’d objected.
Adara had laughed. “You mean like just now?” Then she’d given Holly a quick hug. “It’s okay, girlfriend. Whatever it is, I’m happy for you.”
Cliff, too, had noticed something. After one callout when she was hanging away her turnout gear, she was concentrating so hard on the evening ahead that she forgot to look where she was going. She was startled when she bumped into a solid, immovable object that turned out to be her lieutenant.
“Hey, hey, hey!” Cliff’s hands grabbed her forearms, stopping her.
“What?” She looked up. “Oh, sorry, Cliff. Just a little preoccupied.”
“Where might you be going in such a hurry, anyway?” He grinned. “Out with the Coastie?”
She felt herself blush. “Um, maybe.”
“He’s a good guy, Holly.” He winked. “And good for you, from what I can tell. I hope this works out for both of you.”
Holly was happy, too, even though she knew their fragile connection could fall apart at any moment. They each still hung on to their own baggage, and soon she knew they’d have to unload it. Would that all make a difference?
The barbecue had happened three weeks ago but with everyone’s crazy schedules today was the first softball game between the firefighters and the Coasties. She was both exhilarated and nervous. The former because she loved playing the game whenever she had a chance. The latter because Chase would be on the opposing team, and despite what she cautioned herself, she wanted his approval for her performance.
Plus, she and Chase would be out there in front of God and everyone. They had gone from friendship and pretend dating to…to actual dating, she guessed. Certainly more than pretend. They’d had sex. God, the best sex of her life. Would it show on their faces? Would people ask them questions? Would strangers notice anything going on between them? Would their friends be putting them under extra scrutiny?
She set her backpack down by one of the players’ benches, unzipped it, and took out her glove. The small bleachers were already full with spectators and, as with the Pop Warner game, many others had brought folding chairs and had staked out their spots.
“Hey, Holly,” one of the guys on the Coast Guard team hollered. “We’re looking forward to kicking some ass today.”
“Us too,” she hollered back. Then she wondered if she should have been so forward with him. How would Chase expect her to act? Most of the firefighters were already there and a good many of the Coast Guard. She looked around but didn’t see him. Had he decided not to play? Wouldn’t he have told her if that was the case? Looking around, she didn’t see him anywhere.
Crappity crap crap. Stop dithering, idiot.
Cliff wandered over to her, clipboard in hand.
“You all set for the competition?” He checked off her name on the sheet.
“You bet.” It wasn’t her skillset she was worried about today.
“Good.” He grinned. “We’ll kick the Coasties’ asses today. Uh, I don’t see Chase here. Isn’t he playing today?”
“He said he was.” She shrugged, doing her best to be nonchalant about it. “Maybe something came up.”
Just as she was debating texting him, a gray SUV pulled into the parking area, disgorging John McFarland, two men she didn’t know, and Chase. Alrighty!
Holly stayed where she was, waiting to take her lead fr
om him. They had been seen together at the barbecue and people knew they were dating, but how much did he want the public to see? God. She thought this was worse than being in high school. She was pleased when he slid the strap of his gear bag over his shoulder and headed straight for her.
“Hey,” he said. His greeting was mild enough, but she wondered if everyone could see the heat in his eyes when he looked at her.
“Hey, yourself. I wasn’t sure you were coming. I thought—”
“What?” His face turned serious. “That I wouldn’t show and not tell you? That’s not who I am.”
“I know, I know.” She looked down at her feet. “Sorry. I just—”
“You’re still adjusting to the situation, like I am. Okay. I can live with that.”
“All your friends are looking at us,” she told him, scanning the crowd over his shoulder.
“Let them look. The men are jealous because I’m dating the best-looking girl around. The women are jealous because they want to know what you’ve got that they don’t.”
Holly laughed out loud at that. “I hardly think so.”
“And let’s just relax and enjoy the game today. You good with that?”
“Lots of eyes on us,” she reminded him.
“Then let’s play a hell of a game and give them a good show. You all set to get taken today, hot shot?” he teased.
Holly swallowed a sigh of relief and gave him her best stare. “I won’t be the one on the losing end, hot shot. Better watch where you hit those ground balls.”
She might have said more but Cliff blew his whistle, demanding their attention. He and John McFarland stood by the benches that served as dugouts.
“Okay, everyone. Listen up.”
“Listen to me, too,” John added, to the chorus of boos from his team.
“Game starts in fifteen minutes. I need the captains to come up here and flip a coin to see who’s up first. So guys”—he looked over at Holly—“and gal, get ready.”
The firefighters won the coin toss and chose to bat second as the home team. People were still arriving and settling themselves when the umpire yelled, “Play ball.” Holly jogged out onto the field with the rest of her team, took up her position, and pounded her fist into her glove.
“Show us what you’ve got,” she yelled.
Howie Shapiro at first base looked over and grinned. “You go get ’em, girl.”
It didn’t take long for everything to come back to her. She only missed one ball she should have had, the first one. After that, she was in the groove again.
For the first three innings she and Chase pretty much just nodded at each other when they passed at the half inning mark. She wondered if he felt as awkward about the situation as she did. She wished she knew if the people in the stands were focused on the game or watching the two of them to see how they acted.
Then, when they passed each other, teams switching places from the top to the bottom half of the fourth inning, he bumped shoulders with her.
“You sandbagged me,” Chase murmured. Then he winked at her.
“Me?” She batted her eyelashes at him. “I told you I’d played before.”
“Yeah.” One corner of his mouth kicked up in a grin. “But you didn’t tell me you were really damn good.”
“Your fault for assuming,” she said as she trotted to the bench. His easy attitude made her relax and decide she couldn’t worry about all the people who might be watching them. Chase was good with it, and that was all she needed. She began to feel more relaxed, more focused. And whenever she caught a look at Chase, she thought she saw the same with him. Good. This was all good.
She hoped.
After that it was really game on. Holly fielded every ball that came her way, chalking up three outs herself. One of them was Chase.
“Hey, Chase,” one of his teammates yelled. “Tell your girlfriend to cut you some slack.”
Holly froze, waiting to see how he’d answer. For a moment he was statue-still. Then he shook his head.
“You tell her. She’s got a strong arm there.”
It didn’t completely erase the slight stiffness they felt, but they were both more relaxed after that.
At the top of the ninth inning, the teams were tied at one run apiece. The Coasties had two men on, two outs, and Chase was at bat.
“Come on, Commander,” one of his teammates hollered. “Show them what you’re made of.”
Chase ignored them as he took his stance in the batters box. The first two pitches were balls. The next two called strikes. This was it. Holly concentrated fiercely on watching the pitcher and Chase. He swung hard but hit a low grounder, right to where she was waiting. She fielded the ball, tossed it to first base, and the Coast Guard was retired in the top of the ninth.
“I might have to spank you for that later,” Chase murmured as they passed again in the change of positions.
“Ooh!” She faked a shiver, although it wasn’t all that much fake. “Mr. Macho.”
She thought he was going to say something more, but her team was getting ready to bat, and he had to take his position in the outfield.
The first batter struck out. Holly was up next, and hit a single, running to first base. The next batter hit a long ball to the outfield. By the time the throw had reached third base, Holly was past it and pumping for home. The third baseman threw to the catcher, who caught it seconds after Holly slid into home.
Their cheering section was on its collective feet, screaming and waving their hands and applauding. When Holly reached the bench again, her teammates were ready with fist pumps and backslaps.
The next batter struck out, but it didn’t matter. The game was over and the firefighters had won. She couldn’t contain her exhilaration, but still she wondered how Chase would react. Was he so competitive that he’d resent this? And how would his friends feel?
She didn’t have to wonder long. He trotted off the field directly to where she was standing and pulled her into a bear hug.
“Good show.” He squeezed her again. “You rocked.”
“Hey, Chase,” one of his teammates called. “See if you can get her to switch to our side. Doesn’t dating you make her an honorary Coastie?”
Chase laughed. “Not a chance and I wouldn’t even try. We’ll just have to be more alert for her next time.”
“I wasn’t sure how comfortable you’d feel with everyone here,” she told him in a low voice. “We aren’t exactly broadcasting our situation.”
“But we aren’t hiding it, either,” he reminded her. “As long as you’re good with it, I am too.”
Anything else they might have said was lost when Cliff interrupted them.
“We’re all going to Highboys for burgers and beer,” he told them. “You guys up for it?”
“If the others I came with are,” Chase told him. “I didn’t drive.”
“You can ride with me,” Holly said. “I drove by myself.”
“See there?” Cliff said. “You’re all set.”
Chase smiled down at her. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
Something warmed shimmied through her and settled comfortably in the pit of her stomach. Maybe, just maybe, this was really going to work out between the two of them.
“So, anyone make any comments to you?”
He shrugged. “Not much.” Then he grinned. “They want to know where they can get a woman who plays softball as well as you do.”
She laughed. “Tell them they just have to keep looking.”
“I did. I did.”
“Seriously, though.” She studied his face. “I know it’s been a real sign around your neck that you don’t do relationships. And from what I heard from different people, you haven’t brought any female to some of the gatherings where we’ve been together. Aren’t you getting the third degree?”
“Maybe a remark here and there.” He shrugged. “Mostly my friends are just glad I’ve found someone who I seem to be
enjoying myself with.”
“And are you?” she asked. “Enjoying yourself?”
“More than you can possibly imagine.” He gave her a deep kiss that erased all thought from her mind.
The two groups played another softball game, this one going to the Coasties, so they were tied at one apiece. And hoping to get another game in another week or so, depending on everyone’s schedule. She also went to the Pop Warner games, sitting with the Randalls and John and Amy. She probably screamed louder than any of the parents.
After that it seemed their whole relationship took a more intense turn. They were learning intimate things about each other that had nothing to do with sex. On the one hand it thrilled her, on the other it frightened her. Had she really managed to get past all the trust issues Brad had left her with? She was a different person now, or maybe it was just being able to be her real self. She loved her life, but was she ready to let someone in all the way?
The thought of it scared the hell out of her, sudden visions of the agonizing situation with Brad slamming into her. Did she really want to expose herself like that again? God, what should she do?
* * * *
Okay, it was all her fault. She’d admit it. She’d woken up with a bad case of cold feet. They hadn’t warmed up during the day, either.
“You want to cancel tonight?” Chase’s voiced was edged with disbelief. “What for? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong.” She was glad she was on her cell phone and he couldn’t see her. “I’m fine.”
“You may be fine,” Chase said, “but we’re not fine. Otherwise you wouldn’t cut out tonight.”
Holly tried to put her thoughts together.
“I told you a couple of times I thought we were moving too fast, but you ignored me. Or talked me out of it.”
“Holly, I—”
“I’m scared, Chase,” she told him in a small voice. “I think we’re moving too fast.”
“Better that than not at all,” he argued.
“Please just give me this, okay?” she pleaded. “Let’s just take a little break here. See how we stand after a couple of weeks.”
