by Mallory Funk
Noah: Fuck. The girl I was talking to at the bar glanced down at my phone. Seen ‘Little Claire,’ and talking about crabs!
Me: I wish I could say I was sorry, but I’m really not. You should keep taking your medicine.
Noah: For fuck sakes, I’m going to kick Sam’s ass if you say that again.
Me: You couldn’t take him if you tried, and if you touch Sam, I am going to post it all over my internet pages with your name and picture attached so that all of my followers will know the man who forever has crabs.
Noah: That’s it. Girls night is over!
We are all laughing by the time I am putting my phone down. We are all sitting on the back deck with glasses and bottles of empty margarita mix and tequila lying around the table. When the men come in, they are looking at us with amused expressions because we are still all laughing so hard. Anytime anyone mentions crabs, we start another laughing fit.
Noah comes in trying to look pissed.
“You!” He points at me, and I start laughing again.
I point to myself.
“Me? I was concerned. I noticed that you were still walking funny, so I had to make sure you were taking your medicine,” I tell him in my sweetest voice.
Sam comes over to me, and grabs my arm to drag me out of my chair and sit me on his lap. I go willingly as I already know the drill.
“I don’t fucking have crabs! You were just making up excuses as to why you didn’t want me. I know it’s because you felt sorry for that fucker, Sam. It’s okay, baby, I know that it’s me you really want,” Noah tells me with a wink, and blows me a kiss.
“Is that ego of yours so big because your dick is so small?” I ask him, crossing my arms over my chest. I don’t miss Sam shaking behind me with laughter.
Paige and Cole choke on their drinks while Kyle, Tara, and Liam spit their drinks out of their mouths.
“Fuck, I love it when she’s drunk. She’s got the perfect amount of sass to deal with Noah,” Luke says as he leans back in his chair.
“I like watching little Claire knock him down a peg or two. Almost as much as I love Paige call Cole ugly all the time,” Kyle says smiling.
“Paige is just upset that she got stuck with the ugly brother,” Cole says winking at her, and causing Trevor to glare at him.
“She’s probably happy that she doesn’t have your pee-around-the-corner dick,” I tell them seriously. Everyone starts laughing.
“Jesus, you’re cute, baby,” Sam whispers in my ear, and then kisses me on the cheek.
“Get Claire drunk, and she will start talking about everyone’s dick,” Trevor says laughing.
“Only the ones with the big egos. You know, got to keep them in their place,” I tell him sweetly.
“Our place?” Noah and Cole say at the same time looking at me with disbelief. I have to bite back laughter.
“Well yeah, can’t have you guys walking around here thinking you guys are all that. That just wouldn’t be right. It’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it,” I tell them shrugging.
Everyone barks out laughter. We spend the rest of the night laughing, telling jokes, and making fun of each other. I wouldn’t choose any other way to spend my weekend. I know by how drunk I am that I will be hung over tomorrow, but tonight has been perfect- girl talk, and then ending it with hanging out with everyone. I know now that no one actually takes anyone else’s words to heart, and that it’s done in a fun, teasing way. I still don’t know why I find Noah the easiest to pick on, but I don’t think that it will ever change.
I go back to Sam’s and sleep in his bed. I really don’t want to go back home, but I know that I have to. Until Sam asks me to move in with him, I will have to act like I want to go home. I don’t want him to think that I am desperate or anything, so I hide how much I really want him to ask me to stay, and how greatly I want to box up all my stuff and move in. I know that won’t happen soon, but I will worry about that when I go back home.
Chapter Nineteen
Claire
The second I wake up, I feel like shit. I thought the hang overs I had the last few weeks were tough to get through, but seriously how much did I drink last night? I feel the sheets on the other side of the bed, but they are cold. What the fuck? Usually I am awake before him. Where is he? I lift my head to look at the clock, and see that it’s almost ten in the morning. Oh, that’s why. I never sleep in this late. It probably doesn’t help that we were drinking until three in the morning.
I get up, and go into Sam’s adjoining bathroom. I shower quickly while battling a headache and the urge to puke. I know I will need to get the smell of booze off me if I am going to make it through the day. I go into the medicine cabinet, and grab some pain reliever and some water. I cup my hands under the sink to help drink the pills down. I brush my teeth, and change into one of Sam’s shirts and my usual jean shorts.
Once I open the bedroom door, I scream. I clutch my hand to my chest and am breathing heavy. Holy fuck. That fucking Chewbacca cut out is seriously going to be the death of me. Has this thing officially scared everyone in the group now? Once I get my heartbeat to slow down and my breathing under control, I grab the cut out and walk to the window in Sam’s bedroom. I open the window and try my best to shove that thing out of it. It takes a little bit of work, but I am able to do it.
I go downstairs slowly, looking every which way that I can. Fuck, I am acting like I am in some sort of horror movie- waiting for the ghost to pop out at me. I know these guys think it’s prank day by the thing waiting outside Sam’s door this morning. It’s pretty genius if you ask me. We are all hung over, and not thinking clearly so they can catch us with pranks easier. Those assholes are probably out for breakfast or something.
I look around downstairs, but I can’t find my phone or purse. The assholes took everything.
I run over to Paige’s house like my ass is on fire. I know they did something else. I can feel it.
I try the handle, and there’s something slippery all over it. Is that fucking oil? Fuck, I can’t turn it. I decide to bang on the door loudly so that the girls can hear me.
Once I hear screams, I know that they have a cut out in front of their doors too.
“Hold the fuck on,” I hear someone grumble.
“What the fuck, how come I can’t open this door?” Paige growls.
“I don’t know. There’s oil or something all over this side,” I yell through the door.
“Hold on, let me grab something to wipe it off.” After a few minutes and curses later, she gets the door open, but not before a bucket of something green gets dropped on us. It was probably inside, and Paige, being hung over, didn’t think to look up.
“Fucking prank day. They had to do it when we were hung over, didn’t they?” Paige mutters.
“It was pretty smart, if you ask me,” I tell her shrugging.
After a few minutes, we have tried all of the showers, and conclude that the guys have turned off the hot water heater. It’s fucking cold!
Oh, they are playing with fire. I quickly shower just to get the green… well, whatever it is, off of me. I grab whatever girly soap I can see, and once all the green is gone, I hop out of the shower and run to the other girls in the living room. Paige’s hair is wet, but she doesn’t look too pleased.
“I swear, I feel like I am in a horror movie. Like we’re waiting for something bad to happen. Cue the terrible music now,” Courtney mumbles which earns a glare from the rest of us. She takes in our expressions, and raises her hands in a surrender motion.
“I’m just saying. We are all standing here looking around the room wondering what the guys did. I certainly don’t want to touch anything else in the house, and I don’t trust the coffee at all. I mean, your living room is covered in wrapping paper, for fuck sake!” Courtney says throwing her hands in the air.
We all look around. Yes, everything is covered in the living room. We haven’t bothered to look in the kitchen, but I have a feeling that it’s covered too. We seriously spen
d too much time dedicated to these pranks.
“Well, I need coffee or I am going to lose my shit,” Paige grumbles.
I sigh, and move towards the door. “Let’s go to Thomas’ house. There’s no way the guys could get him to prank us. He loves us.”
They all nod in agreement. Thomas said he would always be up to helping us prank the guys, but not the other way around. He had to protect his women. We walk a couple houses down to Thomas’ house. I knock on the door, but he takes a few minutes to answer. When he does, all of our jaws drop. He’s wearing nothing but sleep pants. I repeat, Thomas has no shirt. This guy has muscle. Seriously, aren’t men supposed to, I don’t know, get less good looking with age? How much time does he spend working out?
“Ladies, what can I do for you?” Thomas says sweetly, rubbing a hand over his face to wake himself up.
I clear my throat trying really hard to tear my eyes away from his abs.
“The guys have planted pranks all over the house, and we need coffee. If you know what’s good for you, you will let us in and get us coffee,” I tell him smiling.
He chuckles, and moves so that we can walk past him and get some coffee.
“After you, ladies.”
When we are in the kitchen, we watch in fascination as he makes coffee. While we are waiting for it to brew, Thomas turns around and I think he finally notices that no one is talking, and we are all staring at him.
“I think I’m going to go put a shirt on,” he says awkwardly.
“NO, DON’T!” Courtney yells.
“I don’t think your men would like that idea too much,” he says looking at us uncertainly.
“Then that’s their fault! They seriously cannot put cut outs in front of our bedroom doors where we nearly piss ourselves waking up. Or put oil on the door handles so that we have a hard time leaving the house, or put green goo on top of a door soaking Paige and Claire, OR wrapping the entire downstairs in Christmas paper, and NOT expect us to walk over here for our morning coffee. Really, they brought this on themselves. Those assholes are probably laughing while eating breakfast AND drinking COFFEE. I say we let them come here looking for us, and they can look stupid once they see us sitting with Thomas and all his fine muscles,” Tara says nodding to herself.
“I completely agree. They are crazy when we spend time with Thomas anyways; he just happens to not be wearing a shirt this time,” Paige says taking a big sip of her coffee and smiling wide. I can’t help but shake my head at the woman. She can turn from scary bitch, to nice and sweet, with the simple taste of coffee.
“You ladies sure like to rile up those men, but you know I love messing with them just as much. I’ll do it,” he says with a smile.
Courtney sighs dreamily at Thomas. “Oh Thomas, if only you were twenty years younger, or I was twenty years older…”
At that confession, Thomas chokes on the coffee he just sipped. We all laugh and nod our heads in agreement.
“Cole’s not such a bad guy,” Thomas says smirking at her. Oh my god, I have never seen him smirk before.
“W-wh-what… h-how…huh?” Courtney says at complete loss for words.
Thomas laughs. He actually laughs. Full on belly laughing.
“Is she serious?” he looks at us, and we nod our heads in amusement. Cole and Courtney weren’t as sneaky as they thought they were, at least with their attraction to one another.
I hear a throat clear, and we all turn around to see an older woman standing in the hallway. She’s wearing jeans, and one of his t-shirts. We all smile knowingly.
“Oh sorry, we didn’t mean to interrupt your morning. Hi, I’m Claire. This is Paige, Tara, and Courtney. We just walked from a couple houses down, and needed coffee. We can get out of your hair so that you can get back to your morning,” I tell her honestly.
She blushes a little. “No, it’s okay. You girls are the neighbours, right? The ones who do that prank war with your men? Thomas has told me so much about it. Are you currently in hiding?” She asks looking like an excited puppy.
Thomas hands her a coffee, and drags her to his side. Courtney points between them with her mouth opening and closing a bunch of times.
“How long has this been going on, Thomas?”
“A couple of months. Give or take a week,” he says shrugging like it’s no big deal.
“What?!” Tara and Paige both say at once. I look at him and shake my head. I know where this is going. I take a spot at the table, and sip my coffee waiting for the show to happen.
“What’s the big deal?” he says frowning at them.
“You started dating, and you didn’t tell us! That’s the big deal! You said we were like your daughters, and then you don’t go and tell us when you found a pretty thing like…what the fuck is her name?” Courtney says in shock realizing that we didn’t even bother to ask.
“It’s Stephanie,” she says softly, but I don’t miss the smile on her face.
“You can’t call us your women or your daughters if you don’t want to tell us about Stephanie. A couple of months is enough time to take it serious. Do your kids know?” Paige asks with questioning eyes.
“No, they don’t know. I didn’t want to tell them until I was sure it was serious. They haven’t seen me with anyone since their mother. I didn’t want to put them through anything if it wasn’t serious. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you girls, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to know, and now I know that you do, so I will be sure to tell you about any life changes, or if anyone else comes into my life, okay?”
“Fine! But only if you help us get the men back today!” Tara yells. Why is she yelling?
Thomas laughs and his shoulders relax. “You know that I will help you girls. Nothing is better than messing with your men. What do you want me to do?”
Chapter Twenty
Sam
When we pull up to our street after having breakfast, we see the girls sitting on Thomas’ front porch with a woman I don’t recognize. Then, my eyes land on Thomas. He’s wearing swim trunks and no shirt while washing his truck. Mother fucking hell! I know what they are doing.
Thomas sees us pull up in front of his house, and he fucking waves and winks at us. When I look at the girls, they are staring at Thomas and making motions with their hands like they want to squeeze his ass. They don’t even notice us getting out of our cars.
“I mean how can he be fifty, and still have an ass that solid…dammmmn…” Tara says loudly.
“I know! I could just walk up to him and take a bite out of it. Like seriously, I hope that Trevor’s will look that good in twenty years,” Paige says fanning her face.
“I bet it’s toned as fuck, am I right Steph?” Claire says nudging the woman we don’t know whose name must be Steph.
“Yes, he’s toned everywhere,” Steph says fanning her own face.
“Oh, you are one lucky bitch. What I would give for one night in Thomas’ bed with that perfectly toned ass,” Courtney says.
“Ex-fucking-cuse me?” Cole growls.
“Woman, you better not be talking about another man’s ass,” I growl to Claire.
“Sweetie pie, how could I not? Have you looked at Thomas’ ass?” Claire says innocently while batting her eyelashes at me. Fuck me. We’re being played.
“No, baby, I have not looked at Thomas’s ass,” I growl to her.
After a couple more comments from the girls regarding Thomas’ ass, he finally chuckles at our expressions.
“Rest easy, boys. These girls are just trying to get a rise out of you.”
Thomas grabs Steph, and drags her inside. He closes the door behind him, and we all start walking back to the house. We don’t even bother moving the cars since it’s only a couple houses down. We will get them in the morning.
We end up helping the girls with the wrapping paper. Paige made us all tear it down nicely and fold it. She said that we can use it for when Christmas was actually here, and that there was no need to waste it.
I spent the ea
rly afternoon with Claire. When I finally drag her into my room, I already know what I plan on doing. I waited a couple days to make sure she wasn’t sore anymore. I don’t know how much a woman hurts after the first time, but I can’t wait any longer to have her again.
I shut the door, and push her against it kissing her hard. I’m like a starving animal eating its last meal. This woman makes me crazy. I want her again and again. I don’t think that it will matter how many times I have her, I will always want to have her more.
When I pull back, I rest my forehead on her. We are both breathing heavily. “I can’t go slow baby. I need you hard and fast,” I tell her with my voice husky with lust.
“Then take me Sam. I don’t want you to be gentle,” she tells me while she grabs me through my jeans. I hiss a breath, and clench my teeth.
I grab her shirt and pull it over her head. She releases me long enough so that I can get her arms through. Before I know it, she’s unbuckling my belt and unbuttoning my jeans. Fuck. She wants me as bad as I want her. I have never seen this sort of hunger from her before.
I unbutton her jeans, and push them down her hips. We both step out of our clothes. I kiss her hard, and turn around so that I can start walking her toward the bed. I pull back, and look her straight in the eyes loving both the love and desire I see in them.
“Turn around and bend over, baby. I want to take you from behind this time.” She does what I ask without any hesitation. Fuck.
“Spread your legs father apart.” When she does what I ask, I slide my hands down her back loving how she shivers at my touch. When my hands touch her ass cheeks, I give them a light little slap. She lets out a low moan. Fuck, that’s almost enough to get me to blow.
I slide my fingers into her pussy. She pushes herself back onto my fingers. I don’t think she even knows she’s doing it.
“Fuck, baby, you’re so wet,” I say through clenched teeth.
I thrust my finger into her a couple more times before adding a second one, and she moans low in her throat.
“Please, Sam. I need you inside me,” she says in a moan.
